Ep 8: The Spiritual Guy

This show contains adult material, references to drugs and swearing. You have been warned.

It's giving. Julie Roberts eat Prey Love, Just Eat, which is my life? Yeah?

Exactly me.

I'm a savage.

Are you bored of modern dating? Meeting the same people from the same apps in the same bar You've only chosen because it's close to your house and you can make your usual quick getaway. It's time to change the narrative on how we find love. It's time to start looking for love in all the wrong places. I'm going on a wild dating adventure, only picking people who are the total opposite of my type. And after twenty eight of these dates in two months, will I find that

Okay?

Is everyone's going to be silent about the riff I did? That's crazy to me.

I was asking you a question.

You said, Daniel, iriff back, and then you said Lorraine, not said Lorraine.

You did? I went great, you said Lorraine, we've got it recorded about the dates you said, Lorrain wrote about a ghost back, Lorraine, that's what you said, he said, do you know what you look like?

Loraine?

Sorry, this is a morning Interview of Keis Lorraine. Kelly's me.

So I went on a date with this guy, and I'm going to read that his profile. I love exploring connection with our expectations, friends, casual or who knows, maybe before wild in love. It's all welcome. Let's suck around and find out. I mean films, dancing and a bunch of Hippi adjacent things like contact improv, psychedelics, love, bouldering, circling, not sure that is. And then he's also entered music production. Hit me up if you want to make music together.

I mean, yeah, you have what is?

Well what is? I found it out, but I was very confused at what contact improv?

Maybe he's a comedian and I think he's fair. That's this is my kind of man, though I don't know why. Like if you look like you could be like a roadie, I do get that.

And he is very gorgeous, gorgeous, He's got amazing eyes.

I mean it's like his bios give him like hocus pokem.

It's a bit like a bit woo woo woo.

But I mean a lot of these things I don't know what they are. I've got no idea what.

I don't know what. I don't know what circling is. I know what bouldering is. That's the kind of rock climbing, I think.

And we get those streams out girls Chambala.

I feel like, right, that's the kind of text. I was about to say copy, But that's the kind of like text that like is to me quite overwhelming because I can just tell that you're quite a serious, deep person, and I'm not really good with people like that.

Like yeah, yeah, I've got anal version for it, like I've got a natural version of Remember one time I did this like artist residency in Poland and it was very hippie and it was like kuddle puddles and stuff. What is a kind of boddle. It's like where you just like cuddle in a group. Like it's very like contact you and like rubbing contact improvers. Oh really yeah, I would be open to it. Does someone touch me?

Yeah?

I wouldn't be opened to that unless I want them to touch me.

It's just smells beer do I mean, yeah.

I'm not.

I don't want to be on mass like cuddling, if I'm honest.

I remember one time at the same residence, he was watching the show and it was really emotional, really fucking sad, and like it just triggers something in me, and like I was like, like we had been on it for like ten days.

It's quite intense experience.

But I was like sobbing, like really sobbing, and this random like hippie got up from the crowd, walked through the crowd and came and hugged me, and it was like a gorgeous thing.

But mumma, he's stunk.

I was like, it's a lovely expression, but my god, my god, you smell like layers upon layers.

It's like so bad.

I just feel right. So like I actually did really enjoy like loads of things about this day because I found him super interesting and he was quiet, but he'd basically will come on to it. But he'd just come back from Barley where he'd been for ages, and he'd like fallen in love with someone. I was just kind of interested by the whole situation because, like is Ana, that was unfinished business him and this girl, and I wanted to know how it was going to end, so

It's giving Julian Robers eat prey love, Yes, eat wank nap.

Which is my life.

Yeah, exactly.

I've been in Bali for like five months two weeks ago.

How was that?

Were you just working from that pretty much? Pretty much?

Wow?

Just doing a lot of those like hippie body stuff.

That's amazing.

Yeah, it was pretty good.

So what were you doing?

What else were you doing that?

What kind of hippie stuff were you doing?

I was doing quite a lot of.

Something called contact improv I was basically kind of embodiment exploration trip. Yeah, kind of like getting in touch with my body and my emotions and getting out.

Of my head.

So what is contacted?

It's basically like a partner dance, but it's improvised, so it's like exploring, exploring weight and balance, some movement with another persona and yeah, it's just like very good to just getting it out of your heading into your bodies and you're just.

Like, were you doing that like with a strangers?

Yeah, akay my worst name there he is giving a step up the Ballei edition.

I just can't dance.

Wait, oh my god, I said, what's conducting?

Brov?

And then he said some absolute mumbo jumbo And I was like, but what is contact I Brov, Like, you haven't told me what it is. It's a dance, okay, would you do that?

The thing is right, is that like there's a massive part of me that wants to be more spiritual and holistic, like my heart. Like my job is like say like the drug characters like kind of taken looking at like spiritualism and like making a joke of it, but like

I think The thing is is what I feel is that you can be spiritual about doing things like contact I brov like that doesn't divine. Like I actually do identify like a lot with like spirituality, and like I do lots of yoga and menation and ship. But I just have of like a complete like blockage to the fucking bullshit of people thinking that they like have superpowers and like in doing certain things. You can be like the most basic person and still like have spirituality without doing of.

Course, I mean you can find your God in anything exactly.

I just feel like there's loads of different ways that you can do that. And also like you don't need to rush it beca We're still young, you don't need to like become like a savant now, like it's an ongoing process.

Yeah.

I mean when I played twenty one questions, I always get it within five questions. And I think I am a bit psychic.

But I've had some psychic things.

I'm really going to like know when someone's pregnant, not by looking at them, but like I've had friends before, like my my dad's like girlfriends multiple I'm from a divorce phone divorce family, but I'd be like, oh, you're pregnant. They haven't told my dad or anything. They're like, wait, how do you know? But like there's something about that. I remember one time when I was a kid, we'll drop.

Our brother off to school. He's at secondary school.

I was at primary school, and I was like, we're going to crash the car, and then like five minutes later, a card is smashed into side of us, and my mom was like, how did you know?

How did you know?

Drunk Damien?

Baby? But I'm open to it.

But I do have a natural because sometimes I meet people who are like on a trip around the world and they're trying to like be spiritual, and when you speaks to them, you're like, I feel like you're teetering on a nervous breakdown.

Yeah.

I just feel like.

Essentially an identity that people are forging for themselves. They don't have an identity. Like that's just sometimes what I feel. I didn't necessarily feel that about this guy, though.

He's got his sexy voice. I quite like him.

I basically fell in love with someone just before I left Balie. Oh wow, but it's very complicated.

Okay.

Sorry.

We met on a kind of retreat which involved optional sex and nudity and like quite intense relational stuff and she has a long term partner, but they had agreed that it was completely open, so I had to do whatever.

It's her longtime partner with her in BALI right, Okay, Yeah, we.

Met on the retreat and like sat together quite a lot, like spend a lot of time together on the retreat, and that was like completely consensual with the permission as the partner.

But I don't think.

They necessarily thought that it would get that emotionally deep with anyone. Like we've literally, you know, known each other, but well, we've known each other for a couple of months, but yeah, we've.

Had like five days of actually being right with each other. There's like so much that we don't know.

Wow.

But the emotional connection is like so strong.

I love them. There's just so much that we don't know. Wow. I told you.

I told you.

It was quite I was I wanted to know where the story was going to end. Like I was like quite engrossed in that story because I guess you know, this is the complications of like ethical non monogamy or whatever, is that there is a potential that your partner is like going to like fall deeply in love with someone else, but then there's this question of can you be in love with more than one person at one time? But

Baby naked sex. Yeah, I wouldn't mind. I've been like one of my someone I need to live with was into like tantric sex, and I was like, you know what, I wouldn't mind exploring it. Like for me, like with the connection and the tryst in someone else, it can like hinder my exploration of intimacy. Like sometimes I can be with someone and I'd be like, god, I feel so shut down in the body, Like I feel really like not feeling sensation so much because.

I'm so much in my head.

So like a lot of it is like I would love to go to a retreat that's like tantric or whatever.

I know, and especially where if it was somewhere that's not like an ex sex party but actually kind of like everybody's sober and it's in like a beautiful location that sounds really ideal for manifest.

That, and my body's like really together yeah yeah.

Yeah, and you're like not like drunk, and.

It's it's like and I'm looking really fit, but it's not about that because I'm in a spiritual play.

Yeah, but I'm still looking really fair.

That's also important, but like in a spiritual way.

Yeah, but you're feeling really.

Fair, yeah, because I do want to put the hole in holistic.

That that's so you.

Can get creepy. It can get creepy, yeah.

I know.

I feel like that's why I would go to something like that with like a friend obviously not like a friend I'm getting with, but like maybe like you should we do it, yeah, Because but how would you feel if you like accidentally saw me shagging?

I mean I honestly would not care, really.

Would you not? But some of my friends who have accidentally seen me shagging, so it's quite a disturbing scene.

Why is it disturbing?

I don't know.

I mean I don't like seeing people like my friends to be fair, like, I do have it like an ick of like I remember one time dating the sky and like we were it was so dry.

This period of dating. He was sleeping around and I could hear my housemate having.

Fantastics was here.

We were just in bed like not and I was like, this is actually.

Driving me crazy.

I think that's it. I think like I want live with my best friend and she would have sex in the bathroom sometimes in the bathroom's like a very thin paper wall to my room, and if you're lying alone, like listening to people have sex, it's actually you'll really like she's like my childhood friend. Like it's quite disturbing. It's like I want to have my parents having sex, and it fucked me up.

I remember one time it's like a real childhood memory of me.

Like waking up early.

It's like a really young kid and my parents were obviously having sex, and like I just like news, I shouldn't go into the room, so I just like got out my sister's like tea set.

I was like in London, just playing with a tea set by myself.

Like oh my god, oh my god.

No, it's we come from a culture where like it's such a taboo, like sex and bodies and nudity. It is such a taboo. But like there are cultures where like it's absolutely fine, one hundred percent.

But it's more I completely agree with all of that, and I'm so like pro all of this stuff, but it's more when it's someone you know really well and you see them in that position, sometimes it takes a while to forget about, Yeah, that image in your head.

Well baby, Oh no, I can't say that.

I know.

I can't. One time there's someone who I know.

I can't go into much detail, but they were like they took a photo of me, like I'd fallen asleep in a car and they'd like had taken a photo and they're like trying to show me this photo and they flicked the wrong way and I saw like a bad image and this was like an older person in my life, and I was just like, I can never get that image out of my mind.

That's exactly what I'm talking about, because that is that I once accidentally showed my dad a picture of me fingering myself and it was just it was so bad, and like, bless him deaf, he did deal with it quite well. He just pretended that he couldn't remember it happening. So I left the room straight away. I was at a dinner party left the room, went outside my friend and I was like, oh you God, the worst things

That is next level.

That is the worst moments.

My mom once booked in me masturbating and.

My mom just goes no, slaps the door, runs out, gets in a car, drives away for hours. We don't talk for three days.

How embarrassing you should have been like, excuse me, mom, I heard you shagging and I just played with my teeth.

Sir, Yeah, what's your relationship with stuff?

I'll just wear a relationship with stuff.

I'm pretty good with stuff. Yeah, no, I'm pretty good. I just I'm very good at throwing.

Stuff away, like last night, like I do like once a month, I just throw loads of stuff away.

Yeah.

I love the dumb He's like my favorite plage.

And you're just also just like getting new stuff I.

Just like cleansing, like I like throwing out stuff, but I don't need any more.

It doesn't really help your Tracy Beaker esque archetype self.

When you go, I love the dump like dumping ground energy.

Anyone listening right, All of my friends have, including Dan of called me Tracy Beaker ongoing for years. If you're listening in America, you don't know who the fuck Tracy Beaker is. But she was a character in a book, Jacqueline Wilson book and then a TV show in like children's and it was called the Dumping Ground.

She was like so aggressive, but she's very me.

Yeah, I get it now, I get it.

I mean, okay, I do love the dump.

To answer that point, like.

Would you live about the door because I love.

The process of throwing things away, like I can't tell you, and it sounds like wasteful. It's not that it's like cardboard boxes like when I've ordered stuff or bodies dead bodies, well, you know, like the dump like the Sopranos, Like dumps are like famously where people pass through bodies like dumb because they just mash up all the stuff and then the dead body gets mashed up.

But that's not.

Why I love it, But like I love it. I kind of fancy everyone that works the dump in kend of Town. Like, no, I'm not joking. I have like a real flighting rapport with all of the men there. They love me. But you don't like smells, but the dump is not stuff like that. It's not like food smell. It's like wood and like electricals and like clothes and books and stuff like that.

Okay, is this a sponsored ad for the dump in Kentish Town. I'm not joking.

Redis Road. It's called the Cycling Center. I love it so much. I go like every two weeks. Really, yeah, I genuinely mean it. And it's a really weird thing that everybody finds really odd about me.

Yeah, but find your garden somewhere, you know.

Yeah, And for me it's the dump.

For this guy's contact improv, yeah you it's the dump.

For me, it's the dump.

It's quite judgmental though, this whole like do you like stuff? I feel like I feel like they.

Yeah, but that's what I mean. Yeah, But it's also I felt he was judging that I love the dump because he was basically accusing me of being anti climate change, right as in like he was like, oh, so a lot of like you and then you buy more stuff and it's like no, no, I just like having no clutter.

Ever, Yeah, it's like because you buy incense put in your tent at Shambala does not mean you're better than me.

I'm sorry, but like, how many fucking glow sticks have you got on your face and your picture on your dating app? Like glosticks are good for the environment, famously.

I mean it's it's UV paint. It's not glowstick, right, Well, that comes from a glow stick. UV paint does not come from glowsticks.

What do you think about like the ideas of like masculine and feminine and having those like polarities in yourself, you know, having a masculine.

Like to you, Well, I've always that interactive. Those things are men.

I have a lot of masculine qualities, and I've always actually been quite alpha. Yeah, and I have really confused men throughout my life because I've also been really attracted hyper masculine men, which is then like very complicated because we're just clash.

What do you mean when.

You like men who did a trial at Arsenal?

That's just means so good at football.

No, like like football boys very lady boys.

Yeah, there's there's other brands of masculinity, I guess.

Yeah, of course I'm not saying there aren't. But that's what I mean when I'm talking about my life. I'm sorry, like, have a fucking day off.

It's like a great question. I do enjoy that question, but you're not going.

To think of conversation. But I'm not saying like.

The only men play football for.

But also that's the point I'm making, is like that's a brand of masculinity that it doesn't need to be one. Like you're inferring that I'm saying that masculinity means being a lad because you take yourself way too seriously.

Well, yeah, it's also that thing of being there, like I'm a really open, fluid person. But actually, like there's so many taints of judgment, Like you're like, Dan, this.

Is what I was referring to earlier with like quote unquote spiritual people. I always get this sort of like better than vibe from them, where they're judging all of your choices because they think they're living a more pure life than you.

Yeah, but I mean I think it's an interesting question for this person to bring up. Like I've been getting my nails done recently, Like it's something that I really love. I live like a bit of length, of a bit of color, and it gives me like euphoria, Like it makes me as a queer person, like as.

Like like a non binary person. It makes me feel good.

But like I sometimes have a disparity because I'm so big and built that like I know that I hold so much masculinity in myself and I'm quite dominant, but like femininity is where I find strength. It's just like looking at the gay world or they're like, I'm a drag performer, do you know what I mean? So, like there's so many things where like is that an attractive to the gay world because they're like, oh, it's too

Well, I think, yeah, I mean, it's it's a it's a hard thing to navigate, which is what I was sort of trying to get to be honest with that guy. Like I've always been made to feel that I'm actually way too like not masculine obviously like physically, but like in energy, like way too dominant, and that's always made me feel like less attractive because I've not ever felt like feminine in my personality because I'm not traditionally like

You know what I mean.

You shouldn't be.

Attracted to people that make you question yeah.

Yeah, if they don't like it, then they weren't anyway, They're.

Not right for you, and you shouldn't be giving them your energy.

It's also like what gives you joy, like like I love like, I love the things I do for my work.

I love like people really like you will really like that about you. I think that's the thing that we have to be both of us training in our heads at the moment with our dating lives, is like you have to value those people that make you feel like completely accepted as yourself.

Yeah, and not pandering to the people that just like don't mate you feelod enough because they're not good enough for you.

Yeah, and then you're like trying harder for them because you don't approve of you.

Yeah, massively, It's like it's so hard to like not absorb the things that like society are giving you all the time.

Lo, first time anyone's ever said that.

Write that down, write down, that's preach, preach.

Okay, So what was it like going out of someone who's a been more like spiritual holistic? Like, did you feel judged? Did you feel appreciated? How do you feel?

I found parts of it interesting, definitely, But I did not love that the list. I've completely forgotten that interaction at the end where I felt like completely condescended. Like I have such an aversion to people that think that they're better than you because they like go to Bali and like do some fucking weird mating dance.

Yeah, like for those glow sticks and.

Then throw the glow sticks in the ocean and kill the dolphins.

And they're like they're wrapped round turtle's throats.

Yeah, those glos think about all the turtles that you're killing with those snapped glow sticks that you've snapped for your little beach party sex.

Clisspe next time on twenty eight dates later. Why are you misleading so many people into thinking you're going to be in a relationship with them?

Okay, great, Sorry, I do think we're sending We're actually saying they came for goods because you're going on twenty eight dates to find the one around me.

I'm a savage, can it?

Twenty eight dates Later is produced by Novel for iHeartRadio. For more from Novel, visit novel dot Audio. The series is presented by me Grace Campbell with help from Ros Pursal and Dan White. The producer is Agree Way. The executive producer is Claire Broughton. Our editors are mythillye Raw and Max O'Brien. Production management from Cherie Houston and Charlotte Wall. Willard Foxton is our creative director of Development.