Ep 25: The Girl Who’s Moving Away

Novel. This show contains adult material and swearing. You have been warned. I love your accent.

There's both people listening who are like, what the fuck? I don't even understand it. She's gone too before. Sometimes I listened back to stuff before and I'm like, I needed to have like subtitles walking around with me, around me, I'm a savage.

Are you bored of modern dating? Meeting the same people from the same apps in the same bar You've only chosen because it's close to your house and you can make your usual quick getaway. It's time to change the narrative on how we find love. It's time to start looking for love in all the wrong places. I'm going on a wild dating adventure, only picking people who were the toe opposite of my type. And after twenty eight of these dates in two months, will I find that special someone?

Or well?

This experiment proved that I should just give up on dating altogether. It's time to find out. I'm Grace Campbell and this is twenty eight dates later.

Grace, what's the story? How are you?

I'm good? How are you?

I'm very good? It's a yeah, kind of busy week, but I'm living for another date. Story to spice up my very monogamous life.

I have decided I feel like you and load of people in my life live vicariously through me, and I'm not sure whether or not that makes me feel good or bad. I can't explain it. It's like I feel like I'm doing all of these things so that none of you have to, so that we have things to talk about.

You know what. It's not so none of us have to. It's like I wouldn't be brave enough to go on twenty eight dates with loads of random people and put myself out there. And I haven't been so long. Like, as I said, I've been a serial relationship girls since I was like sixteen.

That is crazy.

So if there's anything I ever regret is that I didn't date more.

Yeah.

Yeah, So you're making me not regretted.

That's what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying.

I'm going through it so that you don't have to, you know, have to be like, oh, do you know what? Maybe I do want to go on in.

So the date of the week, the date of the week.

Her name is Becky and I've been like set up with her by a friend.

So sorry, this is your first date with the girl that we've spoken about.

So I went on another date with a different girl like already for the podcast, which was really good. And this was someone who I've been set up with by a friend. I was I was quite nervous on this dage Grace.

This is how guys feel like going on dates with you.

I think this is the other thing is I'm never intimidated by men, So when I'm on a date with a man, I'm never intimidated because I'm I'm intimidating.

Can I just say, I am so excited to hear your date with a woman because I don't know what that dynamic is going to be. Like like obviously me and you and we're mean, and we're like friends, we have Socia Gray crack, but like, I don't know, I just can't. I just cannot wait to hear this dynamic.

I definitely feel like it's one of the other things that's been beneficial about this podcast is exploring the fact that I probably will at points in my life date women and get with women. I feel like I have a very bisexual energy, Like women always think that I'm bisexual,

Come?

She told me on the day, like right early on, that she was actually about to move to New York, and I was like, Okay, that's kind of man. And I just also come back from New York.

So, like, do you think it's ever a good idea to start seeing or dating someone who's about to move away?

I don't think so, do you.

I would I would go for it if I was just like, oh, this person's moving away. I feel like it would actually take the pressure off and like you could have a bit of fun.

Yeah, but then what if you developed feelings for them?

Well, there's some things that Facetimeshi.

That's true. Yeah, Whenever I've been about to move away for periods of time, I just categorically don't date because I'm like, I don't want to get in a relationship or get attached to anyone yeah, and then not go yeah.

Well yeah, it's different. I think if you're the one who's moving away, you don't want to hinder that, and like, yeah, I feel like, oh, I'm leaving something good behind.

Because that's the thing, that's what's always happened to me. And then it's like, oh my god, imagine if I stayed for that fucking loose Thank god I didn't. She'd literally like come back from a festival that morning and it like comes straight to meet me and she went like at this like crazy heavy metal festival all weekend. So initially I was like, oh my god, like, that's that's my idea of Hell.

You were at a festival this weekend?

How was it?

It was wonderful. Resistance Festival. I've got the band picture. Do I take that off? I tend to keep bands on for at least a couple of weeks, just to remind myself I'm still alive, you know, right. But it's called Resistance Festival, and it's like a quite small, like industrial metal festival in the UK.

But what does the industrial metal I've had a nine inch nails No really?

Oh wow, yeah, I'm too young for that's how old nails?

How old?

How do you think? I don't know. I thought you were like, yeah, I'm a bit of a name, mur I could be anything.

Yeah, I get everything in between. So yeah, I want to say, like you're like that you on not that wrong.

I'm thirty FORUL this year.

Okay, I just want to say I found out nine inch Nails is like a heavy metal band.

Yeah, Grace even I knew that. Really, Yeah, how I suppose I do work in radio, but like.

Yeah, I've never heard of them because I only listened to Igo. There you go. Still, what did you think of that?

You're so mellow in it? I can't get over how like calm, and it's like you're It's how I imagined all your dates would be. Like you're very just like asking normal questions like what age you like, what are you into? And it's funny that, like I'm only hearing this now.

At the beginning, when she was talking about the heavy metal stuff, I was a bit like, oh god, because that's just like really like, I'm so on the other end of the spectrum. But I think it's harder with me when I'm on a date with a woman to like gauge like whether or not it's just like great

Dating landscape so bisexual, polyamorous.

Don't know whether you're familiar with that very much though, Yeah good.

But I've got partners everywhere, say everywhere, I've got lots of you know that I wish I had that time to time, but I've got I've got someone in London, I've got someone Indonesia and BALI, okay, go and see them as often as I can as well.

Yeah, so it's kind of like a step up into it's okay serious with them.

Yeah, when did you meet them?

I met them through friends quite so recently.

Actually, I'm not going to say exactly when it's slightly embarrassing, but yeah, not lot so long ago. But you know, when you just have a good, good light rapport with somebody and they're very much like me, they want us both to have the freedom to do whatever we want wherever we want, you know, so I think it'll be a nice thing to be closer to them.

Can I just say When I was listening to her talk about all of her different partners, I was just like, I can't even find one person I like.

Can I imagine having three.

To four people that you like so much you would fly around the world to see them.

She must have really good time management, like I got kind of actually got kind of like a wave of tiredness when she's talking about all the people she's with, because honestly, like, can I just say, like I was just thinking today, I was like, I hardly like me and my boyfriend were so busy boat working kind of

Time Ross I get in trouble with so many people all the time for not replying to messages. I'm so bad at applying to messages. It's a really bad personality trait, and it's developed the more busy I am. I can't imagine being in an emotional relationship with three different people on different fucking time zones. One of them's in Bali, one of them is in the Marria, Like those are completely different times. And on her home screen on her phone she had the three clocks. Well, I think there

How many people do you think you could date it once?

So I've before dated like three people at the same time and it's ended up only really being that many people for like a month, because then it just becomes complicated and I end up liking one of them more. But I could not be in like that many like actual long term relationships over periods of time for that.

Long, and never mind like them all being at different time zone.

No exactly.

I do question, like, of course you like them, You've only seen them like a few times a year.

I know, and you're not living with them. Once you live with someone, there's to whether or not you like them.

What was the story with you? The one in New York? And she was kind of embarrassed by whole long they were going to.

She I think she'd only met them, like quite recently, and then now she's moving to New York. Do you think she was embarrassed about like how little she knew the person?

And look, I get it, like if you really fall for someone hard, there is no timeline of like when you should move in and all that kind of stuff.

And I guess it's just interesting because what she's saying is she's in love with multiple people at once. Yeah, all power to you if you are capable of that. Well, listen, good for her, Like I find being in love with one person so exhausting and stressful that I'm just not sure.

You could go through your whole lifetime and meet someone in your love.

Yeah, but maybe she loves too easily. Yeah, possibly because I'm finding it really hard at the moment to even want to go on a second date with someone.

Yeah, And can I just say, how where the hell is she meeting all these people?

I go to lots of festivals, I work lots of festivals, and.

I used to be an actress format kind and so I did I know a lot of people from the performing worlds?

Mat is that when you're met?

Yeah, that's that's a Bartley guy.

Yeah yeah, yeah, but we met from a big crazy mansion party in Norfolk when I was doing a bilesque.

Kind of thing.

If he's a DJ and a couple of other people, the one that's in Spain at the moment of both at Boomtown when I was actually performing there. I was doing this immersive acting thing and the other guy DJ at one of the burns in Miami. Wow.

Yeah, worldwide, I mean look at you. Wow.

Sorry, miss worldwire like she's did like so she definitely also like, honestly, what are.

Your air miles?

Girl?

Like?

How much are you traveling around? Can I also just say, I don't know if you know this, but Boomtown the festival that she just referenced is like the most Oh, I don't want to be rude, but it's like proper Creston vibe. When I went to boom Down, I was like, get me out of here. I went for like six hours. It was like my worst idea of how like everybody was mushing and like really like hardcore like raver, but like not like in a fun glasson brew Way, Like

But she obviously has a type. Like they all seem to be like DJ's or something.

DJs I think like, but I also think former Yeah, but then one of them is like a yoga teacher in Bali, Like they're going by he was a yoga teacher.

If you could only date people within your profession, who do you think you'd end up going it with?

If I could date any comedian juine.

Yeah, well, because like she's obviously Ana, but who she basically meets all of her boyfriends to work pretty much.

You asked me, like, there are comedians I would love to date, Okay, because I loved it, but I don't know them. They're on in America, like Eric Andre I like love him so much. I'm just I'm gonna put that out there because I'm manifesting. I actually met a buff Irish comedian the other day.

Tell me who was it.

I'm not gonna say his name, but I'll send you to Instagram. He was fit, and also it was really good, Like basically we did stand up like we're doing a gig together, and he went on before me, and he had had this whole bit about how much he loves having sex with women when they're on their period, and did this whole bit about it. Then I went up and I was like, I fucking love men who love having sex on their period.

And I was like, oh no, I need to find out who this is immedia.

It's like I was so horny watching that, but he'd fucking left, so he never watched my set, so because I'd done it to be like, let's fuck, and then he never watched my wh I never smoked with me.

Great, did these line distance relationships seem fruitful? Did she say how often she spoke to them, saw them?

Like?

What was the story? Yeah?

I asked, I asked her what it was like with the guy from New York and how much they spoke.

We talk quite well.

And the time difference with me and him is the biggest problem I'm had so far, because I have to work mostly nine to five.

Well actually more often it's like nine to seven, but you know, that's a that's the corporate life.

But he starts work in New York about like and I say, seven am.

Or something like that.

But he'll get home just as I'm kind of going to them. Yeah, yeah, so we all have like so, and obviously I want to talk to him. I want to do you know, a phone or video call whatever. Then there will be something like two am. On my side, I've still got to get up at seven am, whereas he's got the rest of his evening left to go.

That'll be interesting when you go. It will be interesting when I go, because like, that's the thing with any kind of time difference.

Yeah, Grace, have you ever done long distance?

No?

Have you?

I did once. So I've seen this guy who lived in Italy and we were doing long distance. I was living in New York at the time, and we pretty much just facetimed every single day and would message and stuff. But then it was weird because eventually just fizzled out, like we didn't call it a day, But it was because we were living completely different lives, completely different time zoned. I'll never forget I started to see someone because we

And also when you're not physically saying them like oh they real.

Yeah, well we were on zoom and stuff.

But if you've not known them for very long, like how real are they? Yeah?

And I remember then like he had an absolute meltdown that I started just dating another guy. And then that's when I kind of cut him off because I was like, we're not seeing each other, like, you know, unless you're going to come and get a flight over like I'm not going to. And I remember I booked a flight to go see him in the morning, off I didn't go. I just got this weird feeling. I just didn't want to go.

But that's good in a way. It's like, imagine if you'd have changed the path of your life to go and see him, and actually you knew it wasn't right.

I could be living in Positana right now.

Oh my god, is that where he lived.

No, but he lives somewhere in Italy.

But yeah, right was the Italian?

No, he's Brazilian?

Right? Oh wow, miss world?

Why miss I do have to say? Like she has a really nice accent. She's got a great voice, like I have to say, Like I was going to listen to her, and I was like, she could be from anywhere.

Hmm, couldn't she got a husky voice. Where did you grow up?

I grew up just south of Birmingham.

Oh wow, like shed the accents.

Along the way.

I'm very glad that I did not know if I was.

Of course, let's you know.

I found career wise, it was probably big good idea to have.

I love.

So everybody who isn't from there does I don't know.

People are really rude about it, like people are really unnecessarily romantic language, Like I like, it's really nice. I just was there on tour and had such a good time. Just for anyone listening. If you don't know, brame accent is if you're from Birmingham and it's quite can you are you good accents?

No?

I'm not. I don't even think what a Birmham accent.

It's the peaky blinders, Like it's the accent.

Yeah, I think that's sexy.

Yeah, I think it's fair. I think accent is fair, but that's an unpopular opinion. People really hate it, but I think it's fair. I've got some rummies before.

Great, So I was going to ask you, have you ever had to change your accent for work? But you definitely have into your.

My accent is weird though, my accents like sometimes I'm really poorsh. Sometimes I try and speak like I'm not poorsh.

Yeah, And like I actually kind of see where she's coming from because I grew up in South Ireland, in Tipperary, where the accent is really really strong, and since I started working in media at eighteen, I did forest female and my accent out.

Yeah. Yeah, it's it is mad because I feel like it's a crazy pressure to feel that you have to do that.

Yeah, And like I guess it was because I obviously was working in America and people just couldn't really understand me over there, so I did have to like forcedly slow down.

But was that a thing you had to like teach yourself?

Oh yeah, Like and even like up to five six years ago, like I remember being in, you know, working in London and having to go to a voice coach because my feedback was just my accent was too strong.

Wow, Yeah, how can you undo an accent?

I think it was more like slowing down. I'm just making sure everything was pronounced correctly, because one thing about where I'm from is like we speak really fast, and we kind of go up at the end of sentences, and I suppose our tone is just very different to kind of the universal tone.

I love it. I love your accent.

There's probably of people listening who were like, what the fuck. I don't even understand her and she's gone to voice lessons.

What was she like before?

No, Honestly, sometimes I listened back to stuff before and I'm like, I needed to have like subtitles walking around with me.

So yeah, I feel like it was a good day. I had a good date with Becky. I don't think i'd see her again. I feel like she's got her hands full and was moving to New York. But I enjoyed the day like we had. It was a good chair and she was quite intense, is what I was saying.

And in the series, you've just dated two women. Yeah, yeah, would you possibly look at being with a girl full time.

I don't know.

I think it really depends on the person. Yeah, I definitely wouldn't say never.

So like, I've obviously known you for so long, We've gone on nights out together and stuff, and you're always on the prole for like a guy. So for me, I'm like, oh, I had no idea that you you also were interested in women as well.

Yeah, I mean I'm definitely like much more interested in men. That's why I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I would probably not like say that I'm bisexual because I feel like I'm not. But like, I think there's this phrase on like field which is hetero flexible or something, which it gives me the aic saying that, but I'm just like open to it. Do you know what I mean? You're over here, Yeah, I don't know. I'm kind of like figuring out. I think it's the only thing I can say. Next time.

Okay, I've never heard a situation that's so clearly is a good point.

A gun to my head?

Him?

Please? He was having the time of his life, where for me, I'm a savoy? Can it? Twenty eight Dates Later is produced by Novel for iHeartRadio. For more from Novel, visit novel dot Audio. The series is presented by me Grace Campbell with help from Roz Pursu and Dan White. The producer is Diggory Waite. The executive producer is Claire Broughton. Our editors are Mithillly Raw and Max O'Brien. Production management