Ep 19: The Doctor

Novel. This show contains adult material and swearing. You have been warned the doctor thing.

I'm not sure if I necessarily see myself in a relationship with the doctor, because I feel like our lives would be so different.

Yeah, keep come home from saving someone's life and maybe they're doing a TikTok or.

My dad and I'm like, babe, what do you think about this joke I've written about analding me. I'm a savage.

Are you bored of modern dating?

Meeting the same people from the same apps in the same bar you've only chosen because it's close to your house and you can make your usual quick getaway. It's time to change the narrative on how we find love. It's time to start looking for love in all the wrong places. I'm going on a wild dating adventure, only picking people who are the total opposite of my type.

It's time to find out.

I'm Grace Campbell and this is twenty eight dates later. Okay, so ross, this date was the first time ever in my life that I've been on a date that did not have alcohol involved.

Is that really crazy with me? To admit?

No, I think maybe it'll be crazy for some people. But even like, I'm not a big drinker, and if I was going a first stade, I would feel like I would need a drink to settle my nerves.

You do, because I think, how does one without alcohol on a date get to the point where they're like, Okay, maybe I'm gonna kiss you.

I don't know.

I just can't imagine ever doing that sober for the first time.

There's gonna be people listening who are like they can fathom. They're like, yeah, of course I'd go on a date and I'll have a drink. But everyone's different, and I would definitely be on the same page as he was in like going for a date to don't call sober, I would be like, yeah, I think I need to definitely have like a can of Monster or.

Something loads of cbdal CB deal.

Actually, Monster would be the worst thing because I'd probably tell them my life story. Ye.

That would make you too like hyper.

Yeah, and probably give you the ships as well, which wouldn't be great.

Yeah.

So his name is Aaron and We got set up by a mutual friend and we went to meet in a cafe in the middle of the day. It was a lunchtime date because he is a doctor, which is very cool.

Oh my god, especially I'm like such a hypochondriac. I think that would be like a dream same.

I mean, I'm like a doctor's worse nightmare. Like, once I got the phone number of a doctor, it's game over because I just literally call them all the time. But actually that's that's what I actually ended up doing for sort of.

The first half of the day was totally great.

All my ailments, I know, talk about what that's good that you know your name. This is Eddie, my dog.

Oh my god, I do love Eddie.

Yeah, she's great, She's very chill. She just goes to sleep.

So how do you feel like I spent more attention on Eddie than you.

No, I actually would enjoy that because I recently went on a date when I had her and the guy just didn't acknowledge her. It was really weird, like she was there and he just didn't look at her at all.

That's such a red flag.

Yeah, you're going to have the opposite red flag.

Much prefer that she's so hard not to look at. What kind of doctor are you?

I'm a GP.

Oh my god, I'm a hypochondriac. I've got so.

Everyone thinks I got something seriously wrong with her. And I'm like, you're twenty.

Four, in good health.

You're in better shape than me. Actually, like why why why are you here wasting your time in my time?

I see there's a running team here where you slightly bully them a little bit. You're like, oh, that's great. You know your name.

I'm like, Grace, that's what I do. Like it's I'm I'm I'm really means men.

When we get to the twenty eight date, we're going to try break you down.

Yeah. I don't know where it comes from.

It's like it's that clussic, you know, like the girl in like Rugrats or something. She just thinks that like the way that boys will like us if she just pushes them over, like beats them up. That's why I was like a primary school.

I picture you going into a first date not being nervous at all and taking like I suppose taking the ball by the horns and actually directing the date. But like, am I wrong? And you nervous going into dates.

It really depends. It depends on my mood.

It depends on who like the vibes that the person has given me before. So like, if if I feel like we're going to have things in common, they're not really. But if I feel like it's a bit random or I'm somewhere a bit out of like my comfort zone, like not in Northwest London, then yeah I am nervous. But like if it's like somewhere familiar and like, I mean, the best first date is like you know, when you like either have a mutual friend with them or there's

Do you know, like say if you walked in and someone was really really like you were so attracted.

Them, then they get nervous under yeah, yeah, one hundred percent, one hundred percent, And then I do get nervous, and like you know, they're there are situations where like people do make me nervous, But on like a first date. Before i've met someone, I'm like, chances are you're not gonna impress me that much, so I'm not that nervous. And then maybe I get there and I'm like, oh, this is really exciting, and then I'd start to be like, Okay, I wish i'd like warn an ice are out there.

Can I just say if I was going on a date with you, I'd be nervous. I would be so nervous, Like, really, I obviously know you. I've listened to your podcast, I've read your book, so I feel like I would come in being very very nervous because you are You come across like a really really strong woman. You are a really strong woman, and you're funny. You're everything I think as a guy coming into the date, they're probably shitting it.

I love that.

Yeah, that makes me so happy, just the idea that I make me nervous. The doctor thing, I'm like, amazing, you're a doctor. But also I'm not sure if I necessarily see myself like in a relationship with the doctor, because I feel like our lives would be so different and the way that like what we do as a job would be really different.

Yeah.

Yeah, if I was with the doctor, I'd be like, God, you must think my life is ridiculous, Like you must think that I'm like a ridiculous person and nothing in my life is real, and like that would make me really self conscious that like I'm just a frivolous, little, silly little girl.

Yeah, he'd come home from saving someone's life and maybe they're doing a TikTok of my dogs, and I'd be like, well shit.

Yeah yeah, And I'm like, babe, do you what do you think about this joke I've written about anal?

It was actually really fun day.

The chat was really good because he was just very comfortable and so it was like good flowing conversation.

And I have a question, what is the age difference? I know he's younger, but what's the year.

I think he was two years younger than me.

I think the end thing like when you're above twenty five, like two just that much.

Yeah, Well, he told me that he loves stating older women. Oh.

If I look back at my dating history, I'd say most of the girls I've ended up with have been older than me. Really, yeah, I think maybe by how many is the oldest? Age difference is like three or four years. I thought I would have been twenty three twenty four, as I was twenty eight. For me, relationships are all about communication anyway, So as long as both people communication with each other, it shouldn't really be a problem. How do you twenty five?

Oh my god, you're so young.

Oh my god, you're so young.

My god, it's so young. I wish I was twenty five.

Yeah, what do you think my ex? When I got with him, I was twenty three and he was twenty eight. And I am a bit sexist in the sense that I think it's a bit more normal when the man is older.

I don't know why I think when he's over twenty five, and you know, like I have lots of friends, Like my sister goes out with the guy who's three years younger than her and like they're like perfect together. So I think it's just all about the individual's maturity level. So I think it's fine. And he sounds really mature, like I'm normally seeing like well two minutes of him, but like he's trained to be a doctoring, I mean, this is a last.

He's training to be a doctor.

And also he was just like talking about communication now, yeah, and I'm like one hundred percent.

He's older than his years in maturity.

Yeah, and do you know what, I've never gone out with someone who's younger than me. I've gone out with guys who are older than me. Like I've had big age gaps.

And what's the biggest age gap?

Eleven years?

Wow?

Yeah? And I look back and I'm like, oh, you know what, Like I was, I was probably I was in my early twenties and the asiac was too big, you know, like in terms of like we were totally different spectrums of our life, Like, yes, I should have been out enjoying my life and partying, but like, look, I was very mature. I had been traveling the world, I'd been working. I'd left my house when I was seventeen, So I definitely felt older. But I actually it's probably

Yeah?

Absolutely?

Oh yeah, you know what I mean?

Oh yeah, keep me young, No, I mean now I'm getting older, Like I can so see myself like in my fifties, of like men in their thirties.

Like that's I can really see that as I get older.

I think it's just when you're still in your twenties, everything feels more like big than it actually is, if that makes sense. So because when I remember, like I once stated a guy who was a year younger than me, not long ago, and I was like, oh my god, like a young lover and it was a year I think we were in the same school year. He just like his birthday was like after me, No, that's not a turn off at all if they're cool, and he was cool.

He was. He was like, he was good to chat to.

Yeah, So did he say anything that was like, from what I'm getting right now, he seems perfect. He seemed really nice.

He did he say anything that gave me the ick? No, he wasn't.

He wasn't ick like, he wasn'n it. I don't know if I was necessarily attracted to him.

Okay, yeah, sorry, I didn't even ask what was what he looked like?

What did he look like? That's a good question. He looked like.

Can I say one thing I will say from doing this podcast, I realized it actually doesn't matter what people look like. It's all about like your chat compatibility and like the energy you get off them would do you anyway? Definitely seem like it doesn't matter.

That's what I.

Found really interesting about this podcast, because I'm surprised myself by people, like by actually having a great like vibe with someone that I would have never like swiped to on a dating app basically because they never fit my like sort of more standard type. This guy, he looks a bit like what's the guy's name who is in super Bad?

Who isn't Joonah Hill, Michael Sarah.

Okay, guy, he's also an Arrested Development him. Yeah, exactly, So he looks like your man from Arrested Development.

I think.

So there's someone else that's like really on the tip of my tongue, but I just it's not coming to me. So let's just say that, and the guy will listen and be like, Okay, I've never been told that.

You just kind of like expect him to be funny.

Then, yeah, no, I know.

I love Arrested Development.

I love he's.

So many people aren't good at communicating or because that shows that, like, you're probably like quite like emotionally intelligent person. If at the age of like twenty three you could have gone out of an older woman.

Yeah, and even from a like biological point of view, like med's brains tend to develop a little bit later, So.

That's actually true, like men's brains developed lower my.

Brains brains, the average men's brain is slightly different to the average women's brain. I think when it comes to relationships and having that emotional tallegence, which is obviously more needed a relationship, it probably takes a little bit longer for guys to work out that.

Sort of stuff.

Is that actually did he read that enough? I check better? Or is it like I know we've joken, Yeah, but I know that, Like you know, in society we always say that, like you know, oh, men are and ready to settle down by x age, and you know they take longer to they take longer to mature. So he's actually he's confirming that with us.

Yeah.

The only thing about that, right, And I don't know because I don't know science, but like I just feel like it's such a cop out for men to then be able to say.

That, yeah, that is true.

I don't know.

I mean, I'm sure it is true because like going by like averages, like most men I've met when I was younger were really immature and have since matured.

And I suppose when you think of it, like most like just completely at myself here and now I was probably ready to like okay, I could possibly settle in and take a relationship seriously at like twenty eight, whereas like most guys, I know, it's like they it's like thirty three. Yeah, they're like, okay, now I'm ready.

Yeah, and they're so lucky I think for that because we do get stressed. I mean, I'm now going to be like thirty three. I think I'm like not stressing at all. But I remember a few years ago I'd be like, well, I need to know who I'm going to be with by the end of my thirties because then I need to start, you know, thinking about having children with them. That is so stressful, Like it's an unnecessary stress that we have.

Yeah, no, it is pretty shit for us, Like we have a lot to think about it, especially if you want kids. But guys, they can literally just keep going.

The way I probably express love and affection if we sort of talk about love angry, yes, which I thought was an absolute myth until someone kind of I was like very scientific and I'd be like, this is rubbitch, Like this is just a load, Like I would honestly put it like alongside hovoscopes in terms of how much I didn't believe in it previously. And if you tell me that you love horoscopes and then I have a long conversation about that.

It's not that's not really my dad. But love languages and attachment.

Style I do.

I do very much believe in love languages and for me, quality time and physical touch, the ways I communicate it and probably in the ways ways I probably want to receive.

It most of the time.

I had one go once kind of showered me if gifts very early on, and I felt some other I do right.

I didn't like that, Rod, do you are you into love languages?

I have no idea what my love language is, really, no idea, like why are they?

So this is how you receive love, so that it's how you feel you receive love the best. So it's physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time. So if somebody, say like comes and spends time with you, like you know, doesn't leave at six the next day, like actually spends the morning with you.

Acts of service.

So if somebody comes and fixes your boiler or you've got light bulb that needs changing, whatever, And then gifts. So somebody who like thinks of you says, oh, I saw this thing and it made me think of you like that, you receive love like that. So for example, like with my mom, like she's acts of services like how she gives love, but I don't really receive love

But well, does that make sense?

Yeah?

It does.

Yeah.

So like basically how I show love to people is I love to give them stuff, So I'll like bake someone something, I'll give them presents, like I love to gift people things, and that's my me showing.

But then which of those do you feel? Is how you receive love?

So I like when people give me backstuff, oh do you yeah? Yeah? But then like say my boyfriend, he prefers like acts of service.

So like if I like cleaned the house or like did something.

Yeah, and I'm like, here's a cake. The kitchen's in a mess with you.

But that's why because you're basically doing what you want. If that makes sense, So for me, mine our physical time and presents. I love receiving gifts. I don't like giving gifts, but I like receiving gifts. So like with my ex boyfriend, like until I figured out what his were, I used to buy him present, so I thought it would instigate him buying me present.

But that's not how he received a game. Yeah.

Interesting. He told the story of when a relationship had gone wrong.

Well yeah, and then he told me about the first date of his that did not go well either.

I went on a date that was a blind date and the date was basically bad from the start, like there wasn't that attraction from either sides. And about an hour and she was like, I'm actually quite hungry. I think I might go after dinner. No, as we're going up to the bar to like to pay, she's like, do you mind if I pay for my drink? I'm like, oh, that's problem, and she pays for hers. I paid for mine, and then she gives me this sort of scowling look.

What the hell? But she was like, can I pay off?

I wasn't even a discussion about paying, she brought up the topic if you offer you actually it shouldn't be empty.

Bless him.

Honestly, Yeah, it's absolutely it's peak out there.

He's kind of like in the dating world, you know, and I I used to do this. You only say something but you don't mean it, but you're just testing them.

I know, And that's so toxic.

I used to do stuff like that all the time, not on a first day.

I do it like in a relationship.

Yeah, and look, I think, if we're all honest, a lot of people listening to this will go, oh my god. I definitely do that when I was younger as well. But that's kind of what she's doing. She was like testing him, and then it was like, I can't believe he actually did he didn't pay.

But that's so weird to do with someone when A it's clearly not a vibe, you're clearly not having a good day, and b you're leaving. It's just it's weird. So bless him. I felt I felt like, I don't know if I was like necessarily attracted to this guy, but I actually.

Felt like a fondness for him, like I liked him.

He seems like a really nice guy. And even the fact that, like he brings up that story, he's still probably quite he seemed to be like quite traumatized by don I know that, like he someone left a date thinking that he was like not nice or like a bit of a screwge.

Yeah, he's been thinking about it because he doesn't want people to think that about him. He seemed like a very well mannered, well raised young man.

And the sad thing is like you're just not physically attracted to him, So like, do you think you'd even see him again?

I'm not for a date capacity, but definitely like as a friend, yeah.

Sure, would you set him up with someone?

Definitely I would set him up with someone. Oh that's a good question. Yeah, I know that's not a good question.

I always think that, like sometimes you meet someone and you're like, they are so nice, but I'd like them as a friend, but like they would be I love them to go one of my friends.

That is such a good question because actually also I know that loads of my friends would like like this guy. That's such a good way to think about it, actually, because then it's not a waste, is it.

No, it's like one for me, one for you, one for me.

Yeah, yeah, I think he's probably one of the only ones I've been on a date with so far that i'd like set up with someone else.

Good man are good job?

Yeah?

Oh my god. And then if he goes out one of your friends, you can still text me a bit all your ailments.

Yes, exactly, exactly. I've got like three doctors on text already.

Yeah.

I'm like driving them all mad next time.

On twenty eight Dates Later, not a bag weamons so many gay group chucks.

I don't know if it's because men are a plague, but straight away from like love.

The dates that we've listened to, I love her, I love her around me.

I'm a savage can it?

Twenty eight Dates Later is produced by Novel for iHeartRadio, but more from Novel Visit novel Dot Audio. The series is presented by me Grace Campbell with help from Rod Pursal and Dan White. The producer is Diggory Way. The executive producer is Claire Broughton. I read it to are Mithily Raw and Max O'Brien. Production management from Charie Houston and Charlotte Wall. Willard Foxton is our creative director. Of Development

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