Welcome to the two seventeen Recovery Broadcast.
If you don't make mistakes, you won't learn.
With your host, Corey Winfield, you know how you know fish is bad if you can't put it on pizza.
It's a special guest. Mitchell, I really hate to do listen to you guys, but I really have to go to somewhere. Dad, I just like can't hold it anymore.
Got your wab?
Yes, I did.
It is the twenty first of March twenty twenty five. My name's Corey Winfield, and Mitchell is not here, obviously, and neither's Corey Smoker obviously.
But Adam Nuth is here. Adam, how are you doing? Man?
I'm doing great, Corey, thanks for having me on to Yeah.
I'm so glad you came in today.
You're going to be one of the speakers next week or actually this coming Thursday. I guess you could say now for Recovery Stories, Message of Hope Part five, and you're gonna be telling a little message of hope. Actually you're gonna be telling you a story my bad.
I was gonna say, yeah, whatever you need, I.
Will do nice.
Yeah, and you've been on the podcast before. I think this will be your third time or fourth, third or fourth or anything like that. Remember you did one from the mobile unit back in the day, and then you were doing some stuff across the street and I think you popped over into the podcast.
So it's been a minute.
But things have changed since you've been on, just from your personal life, they have. Yeah, you're now transitioning into a married life.
I am thank you very much.
I was gonna say another another transition, but ah, but no, man, So how's it going?
You're engaged? How that happen?
Very carefully?
A lot of duct tape, a lot of.
Duct tape, you know, holding their hostage.
Now blackmail pictures, and that's exactly it. No, it's a gift of recovery. Yeah, is what it is.
You know, God, my higher power brought emmy into my life, you know, in recovery, in a job, through recovery, and everything lined up the way it was supposed to. And I'm really blessed to say that we're scheduled to get married in October twenty six.
Nice.
Yeah, so you just got to be good until then, just have to be really good until that's exactly right. No, that's really cool, man, it's good to see people, like I said earlier, you know, in recovery, kind of get and I don't want to say get that life back, because it's more than getting that life back. You're getting life almost for the first time, and you know, getting to experience everything in such a clear mind and making decisions based on stuff that you actually really want life.
And that's exactly right.
You know, I didn't know really what a healthy relationship looked like until I is in recovery, you know, and like I said, you know, the powers to be brought Emmy into my life, who's an amazing woman that I probably don't deserve, you know, that is.
Uh, well, yeah, that's just that's how I feel sometimes.
You know, I'm very, very blessed to have her, and you know, I've just been able to, like you said, experience things for the first time in recovery.
You know, a lot I've had a lot of first with her.
And then this is uh, you know, I've never been married before either, and I get to experience this all you.
Know, with a this is a blank slate.
I so this is all uncharted territory for me, you know, and it's it's super exciting and Uh, it's all.
It's all a result of staying engaged in my recovery.
It's awesome and you're gonna cry. I'm tearing up just thinking about it because I think you're kind of like me, Well, you're very emotional and being that day that you've.
Never been married.
I was never married until obviously I got married with Marnie. But like I kind of thought I was just going to die loan, you know, like they're here, here, I am in front of this woman who's just beautiful. I never thought this day was even going to happen. And then you know, I started to say my vows and
then I start, you know, choking up and tearing up. Dude, to this horrible And it was kind of funny because like the first year, our first anniversary, I went through and I transcribed my vows to her, and I did it on a cricket to where like it made him like in gold or whatever. But I put all the like the tearing up, choking up, you know, I put like all those little things in there, like because if you watch a video, you know, that's that's what it is.
It's me like stumbling through because I'm about to cry. You know it was bad, but there's so many emotions going through our at least that were for me going through my brain, in my mind and my soul. Like I didn't know how to express it except for crying, you know, like it was happy tears, you know, but yeah.
That's exactly it.
And actually Emmy has never seen me cry, oh, in our you know, three.
Plus years together.
So she's been asking me like, do you do you think you're gonna you think you're gonna cry?
And her in this, you know, do you think you'll see me walk in and start crying.
I have a feeling that if there's any time she's going to see me cry, that that would be it.
I think you'll be able to hold it together when you see her, because you're just gonna be like, Okay, wow, gorgeous, beautiful, this is the most perfect day ever. But it's easy to hold together until you have to talk. That's I think that's when you'll start talking and you'll be like and then you'll realize, shit, this is really happening. Like Corey's right, like, I'm going to cry now and there's nothing wrong with it. Man, Like I said, they're good tears,
right and it's just we get so overwhelmed. I tell people this all the time. In early recovery, man, like, you're gonna cry those happy tears. And I remember telling Kim that, and I think you're familiar with Kim and I am.
She was like what.
I was like, Oh no, no, it'll hit you like you'll be talking about something and it'll be one of the best things that's ever happened in your life, and you're just gonna start bawling and you're not going to know why, and you're gonna be like, this is weird. I was like, but those are happy tears. And she came back in I don't know, it was a few
months ago. I think when she got to her place and she's like, oh my god, and she started like doing like fan in her face, you know, and she's like, I just can't stop crying, you know, it's just it's so good. And I told her, I was like, it's those happy tears, you know, And she's like, I know. She's like I just don't know how to feel.
I was like, I know. I think maybe because we mask it for so long, we mask all of.
Our emotions, that here we are hit with this good stuff, and then it's like, what do we do exactly?
It's overwhelming?
Yeah, and we cry, you know, and which is great. It's better than drinking or using again take a teer any day, yes, sir. But it's funny when it does catch through with that first time because it does shock him because you're.
Like, why am I crying right now? I don't know?
It's so good the best reason to be crying.
Yeah, So if we haven't really went over the story that you're going to tell or what you're going to talk about, But do you have anything in mind? I don't why you don't have to go through it right now, But is there like a moment in time that.
Stuck out to you?
Maybe it's this this marriage trip you're on, you know, like, or was it something back earlier that you're going to talk about.
You know, I had no idea what I signed up for when I did beautiful.
Agree to do this.
I obviously I didn't know what you wanted me to talk about. I know you had briefly said like, oh, you can look over the other recovery stories, and I was just kind of going into this blind so that way, I didn't put too much thought into it.
I didn't want to overanalyze.
And make cue cards and then forget my place and you know, swear in front of families or whatever it may be. I just kind of wanted to, you know, talk to you about it, to see like what kind of things other people had talked about, so that way I could just pick something from my recovery journey. Because as long as I'm doing that and sharing a part of my story and sharing from the heart, like, it's
gonna be good, It'll it'll resonate with someone. If it resonates with one person in there, That's that's all I'm looking to do. But recovery has never said no to me since I've been in it. So when you asked me to do this, I didn't even know what it was, but I was like, I'm in Yeah.
First I was like wait, wait, because You're like, what day of the week is the twenty seventh, I'm like, does your phone I have a calendar.
I was like, Adam doesn't want to do it. I was like, Adam's not going to do it.
As I can just tell it, Adam's not going to do it, and then ask another person, I'm like that person will probably do it, but I was like, Adam, he was just like, well do the week?
Was it? Like? I was like, he doesn't want to do it. I was like and I was like, has he been to one? I was like, I don't even know if he knows what it is.
And then it was weird because the other person was like, no, I can't do it, and you were like, absolutely, buddy, I'm in. And I'm like, okay, Well that turned exactly opposite how I thought it was going to, but it happened exactly how I think it was supposed to. We ended up having Nancy Dowe because Nancy said something to me at the last one, and she's like, you know, it'll be nice scry if we got some families up there. And I started thinking about that and I was like, we probably should.
And then when the other person said no, I was like, let's just keep Adam. He can. He can be the one telling the story.
We don't need like four storytellers, like we really don't, you know, but let's bring the families in and that way, you know, we'll bring the families on and then we'll have Adam do it, and then we're going to.
Have a surprise musical guest.
Oh nice, Yes, it's not eminem. But the gentleman came to me and was like, hey, I like to wrap up, and here's a little something. They started just spitting these verses and they were about recovery and it reminded me of NF almost and I was like, dude, this is this was really cool and you just did it off top of your head.
He's like, no, I wrote that.
Oh so you got this memorized already, you know, like and the other guy was like, oh, I got this beat for him, and absolutely, so after after you and then we're gonna have him get up there and do his thing, and then you know, do a little intermission, very quick intermission, and you know, raffle some things maybe or I don't know what Marnie has planned for that, but then you know, Jay Burton and Paul Mack are
going to come on. And both of them have been around this area for for a few years, especially Jay, he's been around for a while.
Let me, Paul has too.
But what they do is very key, very good so to what's happening in the area. So I think it's it's cool that the lineup is set. The family part is just huge, I think, and especially because there's different stages of recovery that come here that you got your early recovery, got long term recovery, you got family people shown up to and to know that there's families out there that are struggling. I talked to new people today.
They're going to tell the family story and they were talking about how they're still not talking to their child at this moment. And I'm like, wow, Like that's that's being vulnerable, you know, to get up there. And I think that's a problem when people are trying to keep it in the basement, like, oh, nothing to see.
Here, there's no problems. Johnny's fine.
When we talk about it and we say, Johnny's not fine, you know, and Johnny has mental health problems, you know, and that's fine, But how do we get them the help that we need, you know, Like go through that story and it's not all sunshine and rainbows for us. It's not for family members either, definitely not. And to show those people that are in early early recovery, like what you're doing does impact your family.
You know. It took me a year to wrap it around my brain.
I was a year clean until it finally hit me, and my mom was like, well, how do you think I feel? You know, when we go to the story, you know you're talking about you're going to the store in northern Michigan. No one knows you are. That's great. What about me? What about your sister when we would go to the store. You know, now it's different. Now my mom walks around want people to talk to her. But back in the day, when people come up house, Corey,
that's not question. She like to answer, Well, he's in treatment again, Well he's not doing good. I haven't talked to him in a year, you know, Like it was never usually a good answer that she had to give, and I never knew that I even affected her or my sister, you know. So it's like, oh, if we can open some of these eyes a little earlier, maybe that'll help.
You know.
Does that mean they're never going to go to treatment again, they're going to get out and be No, it doesn't mean that, but at least they can be thinking about their actions and how it really does affect other people, not just them.
You know.
It's no, that's really important, Corey, that you guys are featuring families like this. You know, I have the privilege of working with Nancy or office is one over from mine. I've been helping out with her family road to recovery, like eight weeks course that she's been doing too, of course, and thinking about how our actions have impacted our families, Like that's not something it's not a pleasant thing to have to to think about.
And it's stuff that the earlier in.
Recovery, or even if you're before you're in recovery, like if you really hear like family members talking about this and you take it to heart, like it could be that extra seed that's planted to get change started, you know, in your life, or you know, after you're in recovery, and you're like, oh, man, like I never I never considered how my actions impacted my family because.
When we're in the you know, in the grip of.
Addiction, like it's it's a selfish disease, you know, and to get outside of ourselves and start thinking about.
Others, like that's part of the whole recovery process.
Is like not not just thinking about yourself. And I think that's this is going to be a powerful way to do it, you know, And it's something that I didn't want to think about for the longest time, how my actions impacted my family, you know. And we were just doing a group the other day for Nancy's program
about building or rebuilding healthy relationships. We were talking about how once we're in recovery, our relationship with our family has to look completely different now because when we were in the grips of active addiction, like we didn't have a healthy relationship with our family members. Nope, if you had a relationship at all. Yeah, so it's like re establishing a relationship, but it's it's going to look completely
different now being in recovery. Like if you respect yourself, you respect others, like getting your you know, this was about the family members, like getting to a point of loving themselves and taking care of themselves enough to set up a new healthy relationship too. Like the sooner people can hear about that from the family, the better.
I think. So and.
The dynamic that changes that you were just talking about between the well, this is a relationship I had with a family before, Like yeah, you didn't really have one. And then you come to this weird point of like, well where do I fit into it all? And then you kind of move forward with it. How you kind of wanted to go, I guess, but then, well, okay, here's what I'm trying to say is I talked to a guy yesterday and he was telling me about his
father and his relationship with his father. That he realized he had to take a step back, that he can't really have a relationship with his father right now because for him, it's a very fragile state that he's in, and the dad is more stern and this is how it's going to be some to do it this way, and that doesn't really work, you know, and it's just like, well, just don't drink today. Then you know, like does he
understand what the kid's going through? And the kid doesn't think so, And the kid wants to kind of take a step back, And I think that's a healthy thing to do instead of forcing yourself into this fake relationship with someone. And like you said, you didn't really have that relationship before, you know, because you were using and stuff like that. This, I guess that's normal people going through what were I mean, if there's normal people going
through addictions? Normal, Yeah, it's relationships disappear, you know, and you've burned down a lot of bridges and stuff like that. So it is one of those things that if you can be cognitive of like this is happening, what steps do I need to do to protect myself early on?
And that's not saying protect yourself from this damna that you did or the stuff that you created, but sometimes you do need that pocket of your self time, you know, to heal, even before you take on any of the I'm sorry's mom or I'm sorry dad, you know, like.
You have to be well.
Grounded to look through that past book of those memories that you don't really remember, you know. And I think that the families will really help the people that are super early in recovery to just kind of put it in the back of their mind, like, Okay, I did some bad things too, and I'll deal with that at the correct time, you know. And the one way you can show people that you're sorry is to change.
That's the biggest that's the biggest way that people in recovery can say sorry without saying it. You know, we were talking about that in group yesterday too. You know that family members may be looking for apology. I don't know about you, but when it came to saying sorry, my parents didn't want to hear that anymore. I said sorry so many times that those words were meaningless when.
They came out of my mouth.
So taking that time to step back evaluate, like what you want your life to look like as a person in recovery, and you start changing for the better. Right, we're able to make living amends to our family long.
Before we ever utter the words.
I'm sorry and actually mean it, right if we're carrying ourselves in a way that they've always wanted us to or the way that we were brought up to be, you know, and we're not. We're not using uh, that's saying sorry without words in and of itself, and that's.
That's what the families want, you know. That's what my mom wanted and my dad wants. That's what everybody wanted, you know. And they got to that point too where I realized, and you'll get to this point too, if you're in if you're going through it and you're struggling, you get you will get to this point where you will even feel the stories don't even mean anything to you as you say them. You know, when oh sorry, Mom on the drink again, then I was like, why
am I telling her sorry? I'm not you know, and then I realized at the end too, It's like then someone might have said it to me, like you don't. Family members don't want to hear I'm sorry anymore. And I'm like, yeah, that's true.
You know. It's like they want to see it, you know, So show on it.
Stop walking around telling people how sober you are, how many days you got, Just do it, you know. And that's how you change how people think about you, too, is because you become a different person. People can't say, oh, Adam Nuth, oh that old junkie. They can say it, but they're gonna look stupid because like, oh, you mean Adam Nuth, the guy who was the c a DC certified the Alcohol Drug counselor I think you are one.
Of those will be soon. I'm not a developmental plan but.
Nice, but you will pretty close. So I'm just I'm a psychic.
But but yeah, that's what they can say, you know, by calling you what you used to be, just it wouldn't make any sense.
You know, it's a cold Cory, he's a big drunk.
You used to have some problems with alcohol, but I wouldn't say he's a huge drunk today, you know, And drinking over six years, you know, like they can't say that about me anymore, you know. So that's how you change what people think and say about you is by changing yourself and what you do and what you say and you know what you're around. But I'm looking forward
to it, Man Recovery Stories the twenty seventh. For people that can't make it, they'll be videos of it online so you can watch it and check out Adam Nuth. But it's it's going to be a great thing. Man the families. We've got a rapper, We've got Adam Nuth, Jay Burton.
Paul Back. It'll be be a good time, free barbecue. That's awesome. Thanks to NMRI.
Thank you, m Mari.
Yeah, they're paying for the event and letting us put it on, so appreciate that. And it's coming out of the PA two Funds, which I think is a good thing for the community to come out, have a free event and learn about recovery, make some connections, network whatever you want to call it. But it's it's good and it's usually pretty packed. So I'm super excited to be doing this. My fiance and my son will be there nice, so you know, I haven't got to do too many.
Speaking engagements with him for him to hear you know how how impactful recovery has been in changing my life. I mean, he knows because he sees me live it right now like we're talking about.
But man, I really appreciate this opportunity. Corey.
You've got a great lineup of people. I know every single one of the people that you got speaking and there's a few of them have had a great impact on me for the better in my recovery and helping me grow as a person.
So thanks for putting this all together.
And I feel like anybody who comes you're gonna get a lot out of this.
Yeah, And I appreciate you doing it, man. I appreciate you coming back to day to do the podcast to talk about it.
I appreciate you getting me out of work for an hour.
So oh yeah, cool, all right, Adam.
Well, thanks for coming by, man, and we'll talk to you again soon. Yes, you will, at least by third day.
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