This is the two seventeen Recovery Podcast with Corey Winfield. I think that's pretty fair for a guy once a quarter, four times a year, Trimanton Nails. If it needs to be done, it needs to be done it. I'll think you that you can go buy the calendar year. You probably wish I would, because I probably maybe really do it like twice a year and
cold Marnie Winfield the people that really are drawn to twelve step program. One piece of those twelve step groups is because it's people from all different varieties in lengths of time of sobriety. It is the twenty sixth of August twenty twenty three. My name's Cory Winfield, my name's Marnie Winfield, and this is
the two seventeen Recovery podcast, coming live recorded from the Mansion Studio. That's what you're calling it, Yeah, I think, or as we could call it the East Solide or the Home Studio or the Original probably just Home Studio from the Home Studio, the Original studio, or maybe I just don't even mention it, and I only mentioned it when I'm at the North Studio. Maybe we keep them think, keep them wondering. Maybe we get a South
studio too. Maybe we have a north northeast Southwest studio. Never know, dreams come true. Speaking of dreams coming true, Yeah, we moved into a new home that we bought or something. Yeah, we had some people, like a bank or something like give us some money or something, and we like give that money somebody else. It was really weird. It's adulting. No, it's called being sober. Yeah, and that's what happens,
man. And whether you listen to this podcast and you're recovery yourself, or you listening because you've got family or friends or something you're trying to get some advice, I mean, maybe you'll you'll catch something from us. I mean kind of what we talk about is our lives and recovery and things that we go through day to day. But this is just kind of a testament to it, you know, like the stuff that we've been doing, the goals that we've both had, and this was a goal that you had, a
big goal that you had and here we are. You got some in the mail today that made your smile and I also proud of you you opened it. Yeah, yeah, I got my a congratulations note from MCBAB which is a Board of Professional Licensing Credentialing rather, so I'm a certified you know, drug and alcoholic counselor. Now, yeah, it's a pretty big deal. It's a big deal. Yeah, so I'm very excited. And it really was like I don't know, I mean, I knew I had passed the
test. That was a big thing for me, Like, oh my gosh, talk about anxiety. But just to have that, like, you know, a letter of congratulations was pretty amazing. Who signed it, all of the all of the board of mcbab damn. So they were like thinking about you morning when Phil and they wrote sign their name. Yeah, it's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. So kind of a big deal. Now, yeah, a bunch of letters as from my name. Nice. So what
does that mean? What do you mean? What is it like? The certification so basically, uh, well, the capacity that I'm working because they kind of everything kind of like it was like a perfect storm of accomplishments that happened in my life all at once. I have no idea why the time
they work their two separate things. But graduating from you know, my my master's program, I am now a limited license master social worker, so I can work in the capacity of clinical therapist for any anywhere in Michigan where it's a private practice or an agency or whatever. It doesn't have to be substance
used disorder either. That's just my niche obviously. But the McBath piece is a development program that I've been on for many, many years, you know, since I started with you know, the program that I am not or
the agency that I'm with now. And basically it's you log in a bunch of supervision hours and a bunch of credits that you need to have, you know, in terms of going to workshops and and things like that, and then you take this big test and after that you know you're a Certified Alcohol and Drug counselor so CDC, which means you can do that without a limited license master social worker. Now I just happen to have both, so you get paid double. No, that is absolutely not true. Damn it would
be nice, though. We shouldn't make that a law. Yeah, if you have both, you get paid double. I'm also a certified peer recovery coach, so get paid triple. I got lots of lots of credentials. Hell yeah, I'm sure certified in the assist suicide prevention stuff. I am, and I'm also got my just got my CPR certification as well. The zip block bags on bitch, but those things you cannot close. I can't. I can't. I lack in some departments still in this in this universe,
it's kryptonite. Man, everybody's got it. I don't think I think that probably went over a bunch of fuel's heads just now. Probably she can't close the black you have this issue with. It's not so much zip well, it is supply bags and doors, automatic doors, exit venture doesn't matter if there's a sign, I swear I turned and you know how like this is so stereotypical and people used to say this all the time, like I had a blonde moment, which completely old school. Nobody says that anymore.
But it's like that same thing, like really like how to how am I not? I can read? But I always try to go out to exit, especially at the Sutton's Bay Hansens all the time, and Tom's and grocery store doors are not good to me but very confusing. Yeah, and then like the stupid like you know, curl Cereal that has the you know, resealable bags. Those are bs because they're difficult and keep things fresh if you operate them correctly. And even the little chocolate almond coconut things that you get
from Cosco, I don't know. I don't know what's wrong, Like these taste better if you don't zip them up. And even I really do make an effort, I really do, and at first I'm like, maybe I'm just impatient, Like maybe I just I'm like, effort. Whatever. It's good enough going to school, being awesome, passing exams, doing tests, Oh, can't, can't clese them zip black nail it, but kryptonite.
I don't know, but you know what, I'll take it because everybody's got their things and whatever, and you love me anyways, absolutely, Like that's many people are now listening. I'm fully my wife at that fall man. Oh no, I'm sure I have many others, but that's the one. It's just it's it's comical because I can't I don't know. I don't know what it is. I think you get it from your father. Maybe yeah, that's probably it, or maybe your mom maybe not sure, but no,
congratulations though I didn't mean to throw the zip black back. You think, but it's just it's just cute and you're just such an awesome person. And the things that you have been doing in your life since you've been over and even before you know when you're on your path. And that's something that I think we should probably talk about more. Is that time where we are trying to put it together. It's just not connecting, you know, we're still trying to do it our way, still trying to keep it in the
back of our mind. Well, I can drink one day, I can use drugs again one day, but we have that clean time where we will start working towards something usually and things will start going okay, but they never quite click because we never can close the door on our using days, you know. But but you can still progress in those times. And I remember it would be so frustrating for me because they would say, well, your brain's not totally healed, you know for two years until it you know,
you stopped drinking for two years. And I'd be like, well, look, I had three months in there. I had a couple of weeks in there that I had another month, and I had a couple more weeks, and you know that time should account for something. It's not like like, okay, when I was on zoloft. They're Nobody told me at first, like, hey, it takes four weeks for that stuff to kick in. And second, if you drink again, it takes it back to zero. You know, it starts to clock over, like it's going to take another
four weeks for it to kick in. No one told me that either. So I'm sitting there thinking this this pilled a new work. Well, no, it wasn't because I kept drinking right, you know, and it was very frustrating. So it's not like that, you know, I would my brain is not just gonna automatically go oh, let's go back to twoy fifteen
corey brain. No, because I've had some healing in there, and it would always frustrate me when I would bring that up and people would just kind of shrug their shoulders or you know, kind of poopoo it, you know, and I'd be like, no, man, like my brain is healing, but I don't know. That's not good. I'm proud of you and if you inspired me and you are an inspiration and for the whole generation of women, you get what I'm saying. Yeah, just to comment real quick
on that, because you really spelled it. Out almost exactly how what happened with me when I got sober in two thousand and seven, and it was through the court system, like I was on probation, and you know, and I'm not saying that that that there was a lot of growth there. There was a lot of learning. There was a lot of growth. There was a lot of soul searching and recognition of like things I was doing wrong and what I needed to do right. But this just goes to the whole.
It's a freaking disease and it's cunning, baffling, powerful, and you know, And it was during that time that I actually started my master's program. So I started grad school back in two thousand and seven, and I took classes for over a year and and I was doing an excellent I was
doing awesome addum. And when I relapsed, and I've shared this before on the podcast, is that I was like, I will not I'm not going to fail class, Like I'm in a place right now that is not good and not healthy, and I'm not gonna be able to fake this, Like I'm not going to just keep rolling with this like everything's okay, because it's not. And so then in the back of my head's like I'll just get back to it when I you know, get my shit together. And how
long did it take me? And I just said two thousand and sevens when I started it, so as a minute as a minute. Do I feel like it's that it was less earned? Absolutely not. In fact, I actually had to do more work in order to actually get my degree in terms of retaking some of the credits that I had already taken. But it worth it. Absolutely. I'd like to think that I inspired you to go back
to school. You did because you saw that BS crap I was taken and you're like, you know what, idiot, if you can do it and I can do it? No, that was that was that. That was that thing even in my even doesn't matter if I was sober or if I was sober or not, it was always something that weighed on me. That was like in like my gut, like in the back of my head, just sitting there like why, Like, I know, you didn't waste that time, like you you chose to pursue that for a reason, and you're
good enough and you can do it. Why can't you just do it? Like you know, even when I was when I was drinking. I was like, I know I can do this, I just am not in the spot right now or I can. I'll just wait till I am and waiting, waiting, waiting. Then got sober for a little bit, but not long enough to actually get back to school reapply, you know. So it
was it's been a journey. It's been a journey. So yeah, and then a lot of people aren't afraid too, because you had student loans out there and you couldn't afford to just hey, here, I'm going to start paying for classes and COVID was going on. Still, Oh my gosh, there was a ton of l leg work that had to be done because when you're in default, which I had been, because I didn't pay attention to
anything any responsibilities financial or otherwise in terms of you know that piece. So when it came around to reapplying for student loans, they're like, nope, you've been in default. This is what you need to do to get out of default. And that was the whole thing, you know, And so even just getting back into school took a lot of work. But oh man, yeah, so I am done with my collegiate responsibilities and I'm grateful and I am elated and I'm excited to put it all to use. A good
job. Thanks, And I wanted to make an announcement as well. I am done with my collegiate career. It's because I failed so many glasses and you can't do that so many times. Yeah, so I'm done too. I just wanted to throw out there. But here's the thing, honey, and everyone who's listening, everybody has different skill sets, and just because in agreed does not make anybody smarter than another person. People are knowledgeable and skilled at things like I look at people like, I don't know. Let me
think it's like a welder, right, or I'm sorry texting people. No, So like think of like a welder, right, somebody like that's a skill. That's something I have not a clue how to do that. Wouldn't know the first thing about it. Definitely wouldn't know how to do it well. And there's a lot of the pieces that go into and a lot of learning that needs to happen to have that to be good at it, you know, and so and what you do, I could never do that,
and you learned all that not through you. Well, I don't know what you're going to call it the School of Winfield. What do you what do you call that learning core program? But I should learn how to take student loan money and I can scam people, and not saying college is a scam
because you do learn stuff there. But like you just said, welding, you know, someone who can get an apprenticeship and become a welder, you know, like, yeah, there's some schooling they want you to do, and that goes along with it, but most of it you're learning on the job because you're doing it. And therapy might be a little tough one to learn on the on the fly. On the job it comes in, you're
like effort. Next thing, you know, something bad happens, You're like, well, let me write that one down to tell him not to do that again, you know a b. Yeah, So there's a lot of cool things you can learn, you know, at college, but I think for the most part, you know a lot of stuff you could learn on
the job and you know, actually doing it and practicing it. And and I think the part because I thought I was going to be a drug counselor and I was going to go back to school for that, because I thought you had to go to school for it. And like you said, you know you got your c ADC and that's what it's called, right, and you don't have to go to school for that. You just have to work at an agency that that what that offers? How how can someone get to
see a DC? How can we offer that to our employees? That piece in terms of in terms of two seventeen offering it, I I can't speak to that piece. I had to because you have to be under the supervision of a MSW within the agency, and you have to have X amount of supervised hours while you're actually providing services. And then you're also responsible for a ton of credits that you need to get through like continuing education credits, which
you can do that you can pay for those. Anybody who's anybody can go to those. But whether you but you have to be in a development program which needs to be set up by the agency. You know, you can look into it. I mean I'm not saying no, I don't. I don't know the answer to that. Tell me I can't do it that way, I'll do it. No, But that's seriously, that's something I want to look into, you know, because the guy know, the guys that
work for two seventeen recovery. I want to give them something to work for, you know, And that's something I told them when they started. It's like, look now, I want you guys to achieve things. I want you guys to reach your goals. And you know, the stuff they're doing it I think is huge. And I think what we're doing as an agency, as an organization, as a nonprofit is it's pretty important for people right now. Once we have cars that drive themselves, it's a whole different story.
I say we're about well to have them now. I guess in bigger cities that will take people like ubers, you just jump in and there's somebody driving. I don't know if I would take one of those, I'd be weird at out. But if it means no drunk drivings and stuff, I mean we're heading that way. I like driving, so it's gonna be it's gonna be weird to just get in a car and be like, all right, take me to LA right. I wonder how long that would take.
But the whole piece of why our transportation is so different, why our service is so different, is because it's recovery coaching. Would we could just do that from home, zoom in. Hey buddy, how are you feeling today? But not in our not our lifetimes? Will that happen? I don't know. I mean maybe, but we're not that old, are we. I'm just saying I don't know. Yeah, just give me pulsive yeah, because back in nineteen eighty we were just little kids. You're ten. I
was twelve nineteen eighty I was born. Oh okay, that's right, I was two. Math it's my kryptonite. No, okay, so let's go eighty nine, ninety, let's go ninety. Okay, I was twelve, you were ten. And if I would have said, hey, travel back in time and go, hey here you're going. Is this gonna be your phone? I'm on my phone? Oh we're talking about like, oh yeah, it's computer too, like a computer, right? I mean I play pong on there, right, play family feud? No, you're right,
I mean, how do like what the hell really? Or? Right? So the technology that we have today, even in cars, I don't know, and they already have it that it's happening now. How affordable will be I don't know, because would you need to own a car if you didn't even get to drive it? Like I don't even know. Man, you
rent it, you just pay for your ride to work every day. I don't because if you think about it, if you buy a car, that's forty thousand dollars, right, So I'm the kind of medium and I guess you'd say, I'd want to say high end, but I don't know, just throwing numbers out there. And you had that car form I don't know, five years, how much would you pay, Like if you had to go to work today, like like every day, how much would you pay to actually have that car? Am I making any sense whatsoever? Am I
just time traveling in my own brain to the future. I don't know, but it would but everything would be uber like like it's not your vehicle, you're picked up by another see. That would just be inconvenient, I think. So, I mean when we're in Seattle. I don't know. It seems to me like there's something about something about ownership and respond like your own personal I don't know. It just takes it takes away the of like I
don't want to say, power of having like your own choices. But it is like I'm gonna go then go, not like I'm gonna call for you know, like if you get in a fight and you're like, I'm out of here, and then you're like, call my car. Yeah. And if everybody had the right to their own car, like not the right,
but whatever's gonna happen in this world. If someone was like, Okay, well I'm gonna get me one of them new cars that can drive themselves, but they're still gonna like tweak it and modify it where it goes ten miles an hour faster when I was supposed to. I mean, there's always gonna be that if people own their own. But if there was just cars where like say say Trevor's City was like, hey, you need to go anywhere, you just die this number and a car will be there within five minutes
and pick you up. Don't have to pay anything for it, just taxes. I don't know. Wouldn't that be better now that you know many cars that would be flying around here? How many little kids would be like, hey, I need some gum? And then you'd have to people going, oh, big brothers watching me. They know when I go over to Darryl's house, I'm scoring a bag. You know, I'm walking. I don't
know, I'm gonna ride my bus cool? Like you know, people would people would rebel because they would they would get your credit card, they would know you, they would know where you're going, they would know everything about you. Yeah, and there's a lot of people that go hail to the no's Nope. Like I said, it takes the personal piece out of it, like your ownership of where you're going, when you're going, who knows you're going when you're coming back? All that? Yeah, who would I
be flipping off? Now? Who would I be? Given the corey too? Ah, it's this I don't know. We've been stressed out pretty hardcore the last like month or two or three. Yeah, And that's so true. No matter how stressed I get, it's still not worth it to drink. And we had a moment today where we went to a shop and they had it wasn't like a weed chop or anything, but we just went to a place and they had CBD stuff there and it was like CBD sleep pills
And how do you know that? I have hard time sleeping sometimes and I have no idea why if my brain is just going, going going. Sometimes the pain I'll have back pain and that'll keep me up and I just it's one thing or another. So you saw this, They're like huh. And then the lady brought up gummies THHC gummies and I'm like yeah. She's like, no, I just eat half a one, and then she's like, sometimes eat one. I'm like, yeah, but don't you get like a
little buzzed off that. Don't you get a little high. She's like, if I eat half a one, no, but if I eat a whole one, yeah, and then it just knocks me right out. I fall asleep. And I was like, yeah, Sam in recovery. And then she's like, oh no, no, no, then you don't want to do that. And I was like no. And some people that are in recovery do they still smoke weed and they're like, I'm in recovery chief and
down They're like because that wasn't my drug of choice. But for me, I have tried smoking weed as a replacement and it led me right back to alcohol. So I told the lady that it's it's not worth it. And I was like, if I eat one of those gummies and it makes me high and right, then I'm not thinking clear right. And people can say whatever they want about weed. Oh yeah, but it's just it's from the earth where no, no, when when you were smoking weed, when you're
eating gummies, you are not in the right frame of mind. It's facts. And if that even one percent chance led me back to alcohol, it's just not worth it, right, So no, thanks, I'll pass on that, you know. So I kind of told her, but it was just it's just one of those things that you know, And I told her, you know, if I ate a gummy and then you know, I'm sitting around the house and you take it off to work and I'm like,
hmmm, I could probably do a pint right now. No, no, you know, and then I go do that and the whole thing is done, you know, everything I've worked hard for the last five years, you know, and it would just be over and to me that it's just not worth it to get a little buzz, you know, even off of weed if it yeah, it's just it's just not worth it, you know. But some people they just they can do that, I guess. And I'm
not trying to be in recovery for everybody else. I'm just trying to be in recovery for myself so that I can be here for you and you know, our future and the things that we still have planned and the huge goals that we still have, huge personal goals. And I just want to say something real quick though, because our new studio is set up way different. I'm still looking at my computer screen on my left. I have the board in front of me, and I can actually see the fireplace now. The
fireplace is in front of me in the corner. And you were kind of where the fireplace was before and I could kind of see you and I could see you, but now you're directly across from me about would you say, seven feet away, so it feels like you're so far away. And then once we have better lighting in here, then I'll be able to see your
face. You'll be can you see my face? Yeah? Okay, yeah, because I have the computer screen like blaring at me here, but like you're like dark, and then we're gonna have like the TV over there too, and it'll be pretty cool down here. Yeah, And the cats aren't scratching at the door because there it's not in the area. I think it's
pretty cool. Like it's funny because when we looked at this place, which just everybody knows that well, everybody knows that the housing crisis is crazy everywhere, right, And then you get in a place like where we live in Traverse City, which is like a tourist town, so people have their vacation homes here, which ups the demand house demand for housing, et cetera,
et cetera. So when we were looking at this place that was in our price range, you know, with a loan obviously, and you have to really think outside the box, like, you know, there's things that we want, there's things that we knew we didn't want, there's things that would be ideal, and so on and so forth. And so your studio was a big thing because that's a big part of you, and so we knew we needed a space for that, and so every place we looked at it
was like, is there another room for the studio? We need a room for the studio. But then it got down to it and we found this place and it was like, not exactly a room, but there's a space
for it. So and it's it's pretty amazing. And I figured my next purchase that I want maybe for Christmas, I'm gonna get one of those fitbit watches so I can figure out how many stairs, how many steps I take in a day when I'm just at home because I literally immigranted removing, so there's a lot of like, you know, putting away and like put me in. You know, you forget your cell phone when you're when you're down, when you've been known in the finished basement, you're gonna be going six
flights three flights of stairs. Yeah, I've been winded. I get upstairs and I'm like, can I come right back and get back? I'm like like this is good for me. And then get in there in the bedroom, I'm like, oh, where's my phone? Yeah, I didn't leave it downstairs. There's a downstairs downstairs. It's not that bad. I don't even need that phone right now. Yeah, it's bad though, but it's not that bad. But yeah, and when you forget your phone, it's
not just like, oh did I leave it in the other room. It's like that I leave it out on the other floor. It it's like Seattle all over again. Oh my god. See you were practicing, That's what it was. It was. It was your training, jezus. It was your training for moving into your new home. If you Seattle, No, Seattle was all right, Saddle was pretty cool. It was. It was a good experience. Was that, Oh, that's cool. I don't know
if you heard that that air purified are air purifier? I was like, what the hell like looking around like spaceships are coming, cants are coming down now, like what you guys, Okay, don't here. Yeah, that's crazy. Okay, so we'll have to move that. That's cool, but those are little things that we're going to figure out. And then I wasn't sure if I was going to bring the soundproofing stuff, but I can hear a kind of like a little echo kind of a bit, so I think
we do need to keep some stuff from bouncing around off the walls. But it'll be fun to decorate this. And it was kind of sad because today we went to the old place and we were cleaning it out and I was walking back and I was taking all the the soundproofing off the wall and the old studio, and I just remember how geeked I was to even have a studio and how awesome that was, because it's not that we don't care about the podcast. We still do. It's it's a big part of what we
do. But it was just such a come up for me to go from these little bitty little microphones to like you allowing me to have one of the bedrooms as an office and you know, a studio, and it was just it was crazy to see how far we have come and we're just scratching the surface. It feels like, you know. And if you'd ask me, then I'd be like, yeah, we're doing good, you know, we are, And he asked me in a year, you know, and I
hopefully we'll say, oh yeah, yeah. I remember we were so excited moving and now we have an airplane that we probably from and if car that just drives us around. But I was walking down the hall too, and I remember like in the bathroom. I don't know why, but it just I remember our wedding day. And I did a podcast on our wedding day, which would have been the twelfth of December twenty twenty. And go back and listen to it if you want. It's on the app or on the
website to seventeen Recovery dot com, whatever it's easier for you. But I remember like doing that podcast, and I remember like getting ready and taking a shower and and just like look in the mirror and then it's like starts snowing, and it was just beautiful, and you know, like those memories of that place, like is it the best place in the world. No, it's not the worst either, you know, but just the memories that we made there, and you know, the good times, the bad times,
the very traumatic times. You know. I remember the time when you had your back problem. I was at COVID and were mad that I didn't carry you out, like I don't know, but but you were in so much pain, you know, Like I remember those times. And then you know, like there's other times too that I'm not going to mention, but it
was just like I remember all those times. And then last Christmas, we were just cuddled up on the big chair there and watching that Ryan Reynolds Christmas sing Along musical, you know, which wasn't that bad, but the musicals really aren't my thing. But you wanted to watch it, and I watched it with you, and it was it was fun and it was like it was memories, you know, And those are the memories that we can make when we're sober. Yeah, those are things that we remember, you know.
And I have tons and tons more memories from from that place. Remember, we moved in and it was just like, wow, this place is really how excited we were and how lucky we were to even get that place because again COVID was going on, and how our friends helped us move in there, and of course we paid them, but still they did help us, and you know, the fun we had to do that even, you know, it's like I remember all of that and that's the beauty of life
in recovery. Oh my gosh, it's it's incredible looking back, and it is filled with gratitude for sure, and it's one of those things where it was just baby steps in life, right, I mean we knew moving in there, like, oh my gosh, you're right, we were totally excited. We were like ecstatic that we got we actually have a roof over our heads and it's our own place, Like that's huge. Did we know that that was going to be here? Did we knew that was not going to
be here forever home? I mean we hoped so, but at that point where like this works for us until something else makes sense, And we didn't even know at that point, Like I had no intentions on I mean I not no intentions, but I didn't know when I was going to go back to school or we didn't know, you know, two seventeen was gonna make it. And you know, so there's there was all these things that we just never gave up on, and the apartment was, you know, our
sanctuary to be able to have all those things come true. You know. We got a little kiddie cats that you know are amazing, are little fur babies. Oh, we have to tell the story though, which which one. So we moved in on a Wednesday, and I don't know it was the Thursday Wednesday, Yes, Wednesday, and we had great movers two minute the truck here in Traverse City. Is your plug for them? Yeah? No, they did a great job. They did an amazing job, guys,
And yeah they were they were great. Without them, it would have been impossible. But we got them here, and we came over early in the morning because we were supposed to they were supposed to be at their apartment at eleven thirty, okay, to take all of our stuff and to start moving it. And we decided we would bring the kiddy cats over here first. So we grabbed the cats and we'd come on over and they're just kind
of like, whoa, what's going on? Freak out mode A little bit, No, a lot of it. It was a lot of it. And I was trying to get the internet to work because you still had work stuff to do, and I couldn't get it going. Apparently Jesus didn't want to work because seriously, all I'd have to do is plug it in and it works. Which it worked again like five minutes after you needed to work.
But by that time it was like five minutes. It was fun a long time after he was getting supposed to get to work, No, because I was already gone, or we left and it was working. But anyway, it was. It all worked out. I was supposed to because you got to, you know, take the day off anyway. But anyway, so the cats, we leave them here, you know, we think, hey, it's an empty home, and I mean there's a few boxes here.
But we figured out how much trouble well could they really get into and we had a new couch sitting there ready for them to scratch up all the hell. And so we come back three hours later with the movers and all of our stuff. We come in and Nico is behind the couch on the main floor and Luna, who is how is she almost one and a half two almost two years old Christmas, I think January, Yeah, nowhere to be found. And then the little man Hudson who is eight months almost nine
months old, now nowhere to be found. And you started looking for him. This is in the movers weren't here yet. Yeah, there was like fifteen minutes where I'm like, it's just him and I, Corey and I home. I'm calling them, calling all their names. Just nowhere. And meanwhile, nothing in the house like so no no like boxes to hide in or behind or furniture to get in between. There's nothing here and I cannot, for the life of me find these two animals, full grown cats.
So imagine coming downstairs or coming in the main area, you know, in your house, You're like, okay, where where's the cat? You see Niko, Nico's probably twice Niko's like those two put together. Ye, so limited options for her. So she just says, Hey, here's the couch. I'm gonna go behind it. This is where you can go to hide. Yeah, And the couch doesn't even like against the wall, it's probably like two feet away from the wall, you know. And she's like,
no, this is it. This is where I'm going and so imagine that, you know, okay, your big cat there, and then you go downstairs. There's nothing and there's nothing, no sign of cats anywhere. Then you go upstairs you're like, okay, checking the closet and which there's nothing. Well there's a washer dryer. Yeah, oh that's where they're at. The behind the sure that's where they're at. Go go check their honey. So then you go up there and you you said you check behind the house.
I got a top of the washer and dryer. I got my I was like wedge back underneath with my cell phone, flash a light. I'm like battnet like the dryer ducked thing hose to like make sure, like I don't know. At this point, I was a mess. It was like really disturbing. No. I think Brad, I think that's his name. He was like the head mover in charge, and he's like, oh,
cats they can get into little places and you'd be surprised. And then like under our sink, like in the kitchen there's cabinets bolt where that cabinet butts up against the other cabinet's like at a ninety degree angle. But on the floor there's like a I'd say four inches wide, buys for five inches high, maybe not even that high. And he's like, oh, I bet they're down in there. And so you looked in there and you're like putting your arm in there. I just don't know. I'm like, man,
I don't know how they'd get in there. Where would they go? And then I thought for some reason, they got up in the duck worker on top of the duck to work, but you were like, no, no, those doors were closed, and I was like, where are they? I'm like, what about the couches. I'm thinking, like they ripped a hole in the bottom of the couch and like just one up in there and
laid which they didn't. So I like looked at the couches up later and I'm like, man, like this doesn't make any sense, and I'm trying to put it together. And I thought this would be a fun game to play, which turned out not to be a very fun game to play. Cats they won, Yeah, they won that game. Yeah, And then you just like are just emotional, Oh my gosh. I'm I'm like they vanished, and I'm thinking all the bad things in the world. I'm like,
like, who would somebody come here and let them out. And I had sent some nasty emails to this contractor, well, I sent one to him, and then the lady who this what do you call realtor realtor that was selling the house, like she was supposed to hire this guy and they're supposed to fix much stuff and it was crap and so like I had sent some emails that I wasn't very happy, and I'm like, did they come over and just have a key and just let our cats out? You know,
like I don't know, like because it just didn't make sense. They were nowhere to be found. Yeah, And we had four movers that all knew that we were looking for these cats who were everywhere in every room, in every area, making noise, you know. So you're thinking, like they would disturb you know, we're where they were at, they would like rustle up where they were at, so they would come out from wherever that is. Nope. Four hours later from after the moving there, we still
have your phone, your cat's yet Nope. And then after they left, I'm thinking they'll come out once all the unfamiliar voices are gone. I'm calling their name. You left to go do spectrum stuff, I'm looking everywhere again, and I looked for probably an hour and a half and now I'm looking amongst other things that had been brought into the home. Anyway, long story
short, they finally we found them. They were because I was like, the only cause in our downstairs bathroom, underneath the sink, there's like, well, there's a scene, there's like a counter in there, but underneath it there's probably a three three four inch if three inch maybe maybe it's it's
not very very hYP there's a little gap in the very bottom. And I remember seeing that earlier in the day, thinking there's no way they got underneath there and open up the cupboards and stuff and it's like no. But I remember thinking like there's no way, and I was like, come on, let's go find our kiddies. I was like, I think they're under there. And you're like, no, there's no space underneath there because there really it doesn't even look like it. And I was like, yeah, there
is. I'm like, come on, let's let's go get our kiddies, you know, and you're like what And because for the life of me, that could that was the only place that they could have been that did we really look under their search and I was like no, And so you get down there and your hands and knees and you're looking and you got the flashlight going with the phone and you're like, no, there's not And I'm just like, man like to me, like that would have been the spot,
Like where the f else would they be? As I'm thinking that, and you're like about to cry again, I look up, I'm like, well, there he is right there, little little man Hudson comes out from around the backside of the toilet. And then you're like what where, I'm like right there and you look up and you're like, oh, my babies.
And it was just such a relief moment. And then Luna came out to it was like, oh hey, and I think that they finally I think that's that's where they were hiding, because you said you checked behind the toilet and yeah, I looked in the cabinet and everything. I didn't know there was a space underneath there. Yeah, but I think they got underneath there. And then we're just kind of chilling and then finally came out of there,
but then went behind the toilet. Yeah. Yeah, it was it was quite the the the traumatic experience and thinking that you lost your cats and you were just like, oh it was. It really affected me because it was I'm like trying to be excited about this new experience, a new place, and I'm putting someway and I'm like a this place, a this kitchen, this every I'm just like can't really embrace anything because I'm just like this nothing feels right. I think I even told you that, I'm like,
nothing feels right, Like this just feels like not good. Yeah, and you thought we were gonna just start smelling him one day he thought they have gotten the wall. Yeah, all kinds of cold case stuff going on. I was like, yeah, they're in the wall somewhere. I don't know how. I don't know what. It was the weirdest thing, like, yeah, it was weird. And I'm like trying to get like heat reading temperature like whatever apps, trying to get like the wea their heat signature.
No, there's not one of those. There's something you can buy for your phone to put on there or something whatever. No, it didn't work. Yeah, maybe I probably could have done something with my cameras, but I don't know what time was it that we found them. I don't remember I think it was like nine o'clock at night. It was, it was late, it was dark, I mean it was nine ten at night. Yeah, so it was it was interesting. So don't ever think, hey,
this will be fun. Let's play hide and seek with our cats. No, they will win every time, and it's not fun and it's very very traumatic for people. Yeah, we did find him and every everything turned out great, and like even the little things like the contractor half ass and his job and I don't know, like all that stuff is just so little and minute, and it did get me worked up in that day. I think that I still haven't read her email the realtor, because I shot her one,
you know, I haven't even read it. Her little follow up of oh he stands by his work, I'm like, oh, if he doesn't come on over, that's just what you kind of told me. The gist of her email was. But like those little things, you can let those things eat you up and you can let them drive you. But why Yeah, Why, I got a beautiful wife, I got cats that are alive, I have a fantasy football draft coming up, you know, I got a workplace that's fun that I think we're doing really really good things, and
we're just scratching the surface, you know, to to life. Yeah, employees that are invested and you know, balls, but I like them all. Yeah, you know, we all have our strengths and our weaknesses, and you know, like Adams blogs are freaking awesome and they probably can all close the black bags. Yeah, I think they can. So they got that going for him. Justin's really taken the role of like trying to be the transportation director. And you know, Mitch, she's like, I don't
want to say a hostess. He's a great presence that's constant in terms of being there and being able to field and direct and yeah, we would be lost without him. Yeah. And Germany's come a long way and he's fun. Yeah, you know, and he wants to learn, he wants to do things. Yeah. So it's just, you know, I have all these great things going on, and you know, my family. I wish
I could spend more time with them. I found the list of things that I wrote down that I wanted to do, and I can't remember if that was the real list, if that was a list I made up after I couldn't find the real list. I'm talking about the goals that I had when I was in treatment of like, I'm gonna write five things down that I want to accomplish, and then how I'm going to get there, because I don't know if I wrote down how I was going to get there, I
don't remember. But anyway, I found that list on there was spend more time with family. With your family, so that counts, but you know my other family, like my dad's three hours away, my mom's three hours away. But since then, you've reconnected with your dad. Yeah, so like that's huge. I don't talk to him as much, you know, same thing with you know, mom and them. I don't, you know, talk to them all that much. My sister's been avoiding me for certain
reasons, but you know, I've texted her. I've been texting her today. She's in our fantasy football league for the family that we're doing that. You know. The little my little nephew, he's not so little anymore. He's like eleven, I think, or twelve returning one of those. He wants to do fantasy football, and he wanted to last year because he saw like all of us talking about it when we were at Christmas. He's like,
wait, I want to do fantasy football. So I tell him, I was like, all right, next year, buddy, else I'll start our league and you'll be in it. So yeah, we're doing that, you know. So that'll the fantasy football And that's what I love about it. It really brings people together. Like even Adam who works for US now and he's been the league ever since we started the Sober League, you know, back in twenty nine team, he hasn't always been sober, but it gives me a chance to hit them up, you know, to go,
hey, what's going on, man, how you doing? You know, and it really kind of connects you. And like one of the guys, it's not going to be in the league this year, I think, because he's having a real tough time with a sobriety and it just kind of sucks because he was always a fun person in the league that I would, you know, trash talk to a lot and it was just fun. And I'm
gonna miss that and I think he'll miss that too. But I remember being in those shoes that he's in right now, where you know, he just can't pull it together and he probably thinks he doesn't deserve anything fun. I wouldn't listen to the ticket in the morning, Like after a relapse, I wouldn't do anything that I wanted to do, anything that brought me joy. I would not do it because I feel like I didn't deserve it. So I get where he's at. But it's just gonna suck, you know,
with him not in it this year. But you know, hopefully he can get things right with his life and you know, you know, it's how to get a hold of me if you need something. But yeah, he was invited to the league. He just yeah, I couldn't do it, but yeah, so I have great things to look forward to. So it's hard, though, because getting mad and getting frustrated is so easy, and sometimes you think it's fun and you just want to just raw. But you saw me the other day and I was like, no, I'm not reading
that email because it's not in the mood. I'm not going to do it. Yeah, and it's not because I didn't want to write something nasty back to her, because I did. But le sort accomplished, and where's my mental at, you know, like I just moved, we just thought we lost our cats, and yeah, yeah, so think about that kind of stuff and you don't even have to be in a recovery. You can just be whatever. You know. That's just a good way to look at life
sometimes. Is it worth it? And how riled up do you want to get yourself? You know, let it go a few days and address it then if you really need to. But letting things go, I guess that would be the point of that. Yeah, I think I've done rambling now. It's been a long day. It's been a long, long couple days. So yeah, this is why I gotta do a podcast more often, so I don't ramble as much. There you go. I feel like I got so much to get in and I haven't heard my voice in so long.
I have to just keep talking now. But thanks for listening. And yeah, if you want to go back and listen to some of the podcasts from back in the day, I'm sure they would be interesting for some people, you know, because it's like a not a soap opera, but it's
like a journal. It's like a diary of us in our lives and the things we've been going through and you know, from back to school to you know, you being pregnant the first time and also even getting together and moving in and you know to listen to all that, and I bet that would be interesting. Yeah, get the app, it's in the app store. Two seventeen Recovery. Thank you searched two seventeen recovery podcasts, but there's links to at two seventeen recovery dot com. Yep, yeah, I seem the
cat get the stuff. He s all right, I have a cat to yell at A right good evening? All right, thanks everybody having good night. Thanks for listening to the two seventeen Recovery podcast. We hope you come back for our next episode.