471 Mycology
Some people eat mushrooms, some people study mushrooms, some people grow mushrooms, and others simply manage by the mushroom principle -- keep 'em in the dark and feed 'em crap.
Dec 28, 2011•15 min
2 Homos - Lesbian Podcast
Ever wonder what two Lesbians talk about when they get together? Well...wonder no more. The 2 Homos Lesbian podcast is the show with two Lesbians sitting around talking about whatever crosses our minds. We're not always politically correct, and no topic is off limits. Come spend some time and get intimate with us. We're open-minded, we speak our minds...and sometimes, for better or worse, there's no "edit" button. Enjoy the random observations of the 2 Homos Lesbian Podcast.
Last refreshed: ⓘ
Follow this podcast in the Metacast mobile app to refresh it and see new episodes.
Podcasts are better in Metacast mobile app
Don't just listen to podcasts. Learn from them with transcripts, summaries, and chapters for every episode. Skim, search, and bookmark insights. Learn more
Episodes
470 Shoplifting 101
Families that shoplift together stay together, even if it's only staying in jail together. So, next time you're out shoplifting, grab the baby, pick up grandma from the home and get all your cousins to join you. Make sure you start in the meat aisle, grab the most expensive cuts of meat you can find, and stick it all in the baby's diapers. Don't forget to pick up a bottle of Cristal on your way out the door. Happy Holidays.
Dec 21, 2011•16 min
469 Bleed to Win
The average woman has a period 520 times in her lifetime. That assumes 13 cycles per year at 28 days per cycle, and bleeding from ages 12 to 52. If the average woman uses 25 tampons per cycle, that works out to about $8 per cycle, for a total cost of $4,200. Add in the cost of panties that had to be tossed out because of an accident or two for another $1,000. Plus, another $1,200 for Midol. Now we have something practical to rally around in the upcoming election season - a tax break for having t...
Dec 18, 2011•15 min
468 Responsible Dog Owners
Being a responsible dog owner is a big commitment. You have to make sure you feed your pets every day, give them fresh water to drink and a nice cozy place to sleep. You have to keep up on shots and regular vet visits and give your pet plenty of exercise for a nice, fulfilling life. Most importantly, if someone else's dog takes a crap on your front lawn, you have to pick it up and fling it into their yard to help teach them how to become a responsible pet owner, too.
Dec 14, 2011•11 min
467 Food Adventures
Moving beyond hot dogs and french fries can be a scary thing. It takes a big person to get out of their food comfort zone and to try new things. Once you do, however, you realize that the world has a lot of interesting and new foods to offer. You'll also come to realize that there really is a reason people call Lesbian sex, "bumping clams".The first time you open up a steamed clam...you finally understand that it does look kind of like a vagina.
Dec 11, 2011•16 min
466 Lip Room
There are few things more disturbing than thinking about sweaty balls...except perhaps thinking about having sweaty lips. Now that the holidays are upon us, do a friend a solid and find some Clean Balls or Lip Clean. Wrap it up into a sexy little package and make it your special secret gift between you and the one you love this holiday season. The world will be a better place.
Dec 05, 2011•13 min
465 Black Friday
It's that wonderful time of the year! Time to go shopping with all the crowds at your favorite stores to pick up a butt load of gifts for everyone on your list. Pack up your kids, the taser, the pepper spray, and maybe a knife just for good measure. Head over to Wal-Mart so that you're there as soon as the doors open at midnight. Then just unload a huge cloud of pepper spray across the crowd blocking your way, pick up that X-Box and head to the cash register. After all that hard work, you defini...
Nov 28, 2011•12 min
464 Feels Like the First Time
Your first time with a boy or a girl should be a special moment and it shouldn't be something you rush into or take for granted. You'll want to wait until you're in love and the moment is right for both of you. You'll know when the moment is right, even if the "moment" lasts only 15 seconds...or it feels like having a watermelon between your legs. Don't worry...it gets better.
Nov 20, 2011•16 min
463 Caveman Cooking
In this modern day and age it's almost unbelievable to imagine that people could have actually cooked a meal before the advent of microwave ovens. It's hard to even fathom that people used to really cook on a stove and wait patiently for water to boil. It's a good thing there are still drive thru's or else we'd all die of starvation.
Nov 16, 2011•15 min
462 My Name is Ho
It's important for every Lesbian to have a set of basic standards for dating women. The standards don't have to be high, they just have to meet some minimum basic requirements. She can be a "three" in the looks department as long as she can rock your socks off in between the sheets. But, if she has the personality of a naked mole rat and she stinks like Limburger in bed, it really doesn't matter if she has the only piece of software you need in the universe to finish your term paper. The Ho has ...
Nov 13, 2011•11 min
461 Locker Room Girls
The locker room doesn't have to be a place of fear and trepidation about taking your clothes off around other girls. It doesn't have to be a place that smells like sweaty socks and dirty underwear. And, it certainly doesn't have to be the place of Roxanne's depraved fantasies about hot steamy sex. See what it's all about by visiting the Locker Room Girls at lockerroomgirls.blogspot.com.
Nov 09, 2011•13 min
460 Token Lesbians
It's not just straight people that have lingering questions they want to ask Lesbians. Gay men are also sometimes curious about the things Lesbians say and do. At least they know enough to call the Lesbians on moving day. That way they know they'll have a truck and some big strong Dykes to help move all that heavy antique and designer furniture.
Nov 06, 2011•13 min
459 Dog Jerk
Masturbation is a natural thing to do. Most people find it to be a pleasurable activity on their own or even with a partner. Sometimes you just want to rub one out to relieve a little stress or to fall asleep. It's even possible that your dog likes to rub one out once in a while. There's no reason to be disturbed if you see the dog rubbing one out. Just tell Rover to get off the couch when he does it, because nobody likes to sit in the wet spot.
Oct 30, 2011•12 min
458 The Big D
When most Lesbians think of the "Big D" they start thinking about the Big Dyke that lives next door. What they should really be thinking about are the 10 signs that they might be headed for a breakup or divorce. One of the most telling signs for Lesbians that a relationship is on the rocks is when your partner suddenly starts wearing matching bras and panties. We're not talking about the six pairs of white ones you picked up for her at K-Mart on sale last week either.
Oct 27, 2011•15 min
457 Power Walk
E-bay is the panacea for buying anything at all you can think of. It doesn't matter what it is...new or used...shipped from anywhere in the world, you can find it on E-bay. Next time you take the dogs on a walk at 5am and one of them gets hit by a reckless driver in the dark and the fog, you can find the murder chalk you need to draw an outline of the dead body on E-bay. Just search for it.
Oct 23, 2011•12 min
456 Wheel of Homos
Vegas Baby! Classless white people over-eating at buffets and chain smoking cigarettes while they dump quarters into slot machines. It's hard to believe that anyone would want to go...until you visit the pool at the Hard Rock and have to be taken away by ambulance from cardiac arrest due to all the hot chicks in bikinis at the pool. It's possible that I could be one of those white people...
Oct 19, 2011•16 min
455 Spooky Times
Things can hardly be any spookier between Mitt Romney, Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann and the Tea Baggers until you realize it's almost Halloween. Of course, that's a good kind of scary. The kind where all you have a to be scared about is the creepy Lesbians that live on the corner, deck out their house for Halloween and give away full-sized candy bars not only to the kids, but their cute moms as well.
Oct 16, 2011•11 min
454 Buds and Boxes
It's important for everyone on this planet to do their part to protect the environment. Stop drinking water out of plastic bottles and instead drink it out of paper boxes that require trees to be cut down. Put it in a container that's so large that you need to use a glass that then requires hot water that uses fossil fuels to heat up and then detergent that contains phosphates that leak in to our water supply. Let's get serious and do your part, people.
Oct 12, 2011•10 min
453 Gay Day
It's not always so common to see older Gay people out and about, especially in the Lesbian community. That can be a bit confusing to the younger set because we keep wondering what happens to Gay people when they get older? Maybe they're all at some hip club, hanging out all night and meeting interesting new people. As long as the Lesbian dress code continues to include t-shirts, blue jeans and sneakers...we're in.
Oct 09, 2011•12 min
452 First Date
First dates are about getting to know another person. There's no commitment, no obligation and no life-changing decisions that need to be made. It's all about small talk, feeling each other out and figuring out if it's worth having a second date. If that first date turns into more than that, however, it's probably not a good idea to burst out laughing the first time you see his penis.
Oct 05, 2011•11 min
451 One Less Hoarder
Spring cleaning is not just for Spring time anymore. When that urge to declutter comes over you just start bagging up your crap and clean out those closets. Then have yourself a big ol' yard sale and make a little extra cash at the same time. You'll have that satisfied feeling of accomplishment...until it dawns on you that you've just participated in enabling all the hoarders in your neighborhood. Now they just moved all your trash over to their house.
Oct 02, 2011•14 min
450 Jumpstart the Economy
With the country on the brink of a major depression, if everyone would just get out and blow their entire life savings on frivolous crap we would be able to turn the economy back around in no time. Times like this can be challenging and everyone might be feeling a bit of extra stress and tension, so why not take care of both problems at once? Go out and spend a ton of cash on a buttload of sex toys, porn and lube. That way you can release a little stress while helping the economy all at the same...
Sep 27, 2011•26 min
449 Mountain Straight Lady
The Lesbian equivalent of "man cave": the largest room in the house complete with a pool table, a foosball table, skee-ball, a basketball hoop, a 72" wide screen TV for watching football, a beer cooler, 3 neon beer signs and pinup posters of naked women. Nothing could be more perfect...unless the Lesbian Cave came complete with a beer delivery three times a week.
Sep 19, 2011•21 min
448 Cuckoo
There's a reason why wedding seating arrangements are so important, and it's not about putting interesting, fun people together. It's more about separating people that can't stand to be around each other or people that will cause drama when they are together. You have to be sure to separate the groom's former ex, who is also his aunt's ex together at the same table with the ex's current husband and her girlfriend on the side. It gets complicated.
Sep 11, 2011•13 min
447 Dyke-A-Palooza
We have even more proof not only that people in LA don't cook at all, but also that Lesbians will actually come out of the house and travel for miles to go out for a classy meal at the travelling food trucks. Next time the roving food trucks show up in your neighborhood, cancel your subscription to Match.com becauseyou'll be sure to find a date at the food truck Dyke-A-Palooza. Don't look for the Gay men...they'll be dining at a real restaurant.
Sep 08, 2011•12 min
446 Betsy Ross
Before one can come out as a Lesbian, there are certain basic skills that every Lesbian needs to know. The proper identification and use of duct tape is one of those such skills. No self-respecting Lesbian can come out of the closet without knowing the difference between electrical tape and duct tape, and also how to properly apply it to nipples while marching in Gay Pride parades. Removing duct tape from nipples without tearing off an areola is a much more advanced skill.
Sep 05, 2011•18 min
445 To Love and to Cherish
One of the wedding vows that most people completely skip over about is the one where the minister tells you that you've been entrusted with a vagina, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, for all the days of your life. That means it's your responsibility to always make sure it's in good working condition, that it's not sagging and that nobody leaves a tampon up there and forgets to take it out. It's a lot of responsibility.
Aug 24, 2011•13 min
444 Tivo Hostage
Clipping coupons can be a healthy way to trim your grocery bill and to save a little money during tough times. Nobody minds waiting a few extra minutes at the checkout stand while grandma goes through her purse to find the Jello coupon that saves her 10 cents on a 6-pack of lime flavor. It only becomes a problem when people start clipping coupons as if it's an extreme sport and then show up at your local grocery store with their coupon encyclopedia filled with 10,000 coupons for 75 cases of yell...
Aug 21, 2011•13 min
443 West Nile Virus
If necessity is the mother of invention, then why hasn't someone invented a weapon that can kill mosquitos in the middle of the night as they buzz by your ears, bite you everywhere they can find an exposed piece of skin and keep you up to all hours of the morning annoying the crap out of you? I'm not asking for much. Maybe just a bedside flame thrower.
Aug 07, 2011•18 min
442 Full Frontal Ass
We put a lot of trust into our doctors when we go in to have some sort of procedure done in the hospital. Once you're asleep on the table with a crowd of people around, wearing only a hospital gown with a slit all the way up your back, anything can happen. Before the anesthesia kicks in, check around for anything suspicious looking, such as anal lube, a six-pack of condoms or instructions about how to upload videos to YouPorn.
Aug 04, 2011•10 min
For the best experience, listen in Metacast app for iOS or Android