Responding in Faith to Multiple Adoptions with Melissa Telesco

Wherever you are in your adoption journey, we are a community centered around love, trust, and respect for the experience and opportunities that have made us families. We promise to share, encourage, support, and celebrate the day-to-day of adoptive mamahood together. I'm Liz. And I'm Sarah. And together, we are two adoptive mamas.

Hello and welcome back to the Two Adoptive Mamas podcast. Liz and I are so glad to have you here. Wherever you may be, we are honored that you popped your earbuds in and you're joining us for this episode. Today, we have a wonderful mama story for you. We are joined by Melissa Telesco. Hi, Melissa. Hi lady. Melissa is a wife and adoptive mom. And also we just learned a former choral high school choral director. So that's pretty awesome. Um, but anyway, she is here to share with us.

um the story of how um she and her husband followed God's leading in creating a family. And we're just so excited to learn more from her. So thanks for joining us. Yeah, thanks for having me. Yes. We are thrilled. This is also Melissa's first podcast and we kind of pride ourselves in having people Ha ha ha. Having people join us for the first time. We hope it's a great experience. So

Um, okay, so like I said, you are an adoptive mama. So we're gonna dive right in. We wanna learn from your story. Can you first share your thoughts kind of on your role as a parent? Um, how are you using positive language in your everyday? and kind of how you're preserving who you are while you navigate the day-to-day um of parenthood and the season. Okay, so I d I don't have any idea how I navigate. But it is my role as a parent.

Honestly, I saw a friend wearing a shirt and I loved it. And it's just said raising little disciples. And I just was like, that's I feel like I'm here to guide them and show them the love of Jesus. And that's like my main my main goal. That's what I try to do to raise, raise people who love Jesus, who love others and Um, you know, positive positive language. Um, do you mean as far as like adoption is concerned or like It's not always positive. Sometimes I'm impatient.

Yeah, well I feel like every I feel first of all, I feel like that's every parent, not just Oh I know it's fun. Adoptive moms. Yeah. Like we we all have hard days, but I think one thing that I really want to hear from you is just how you Yeah, yeah. Like even our question, we said, You're an adoptive mama. Like, what do you think of your role as a parent? And even just putting ourselves in that category can come with really difficult connotations. So how are you? You Really?

viewing yourself in the home and how do you communicate that with your kids and how do your kids view that? Um one of the things we share with uh We're actually a former student of mine and her husband were going through infertility and we're um kind of asking you know, picking our brains about adoption. And one of the things I said, I I feel so blessed that God has kind of almost given us custody of their story. Um, you don't walk around and ask biological children and parents like, so

How how did how did they come to be? Like obviously we know the awkward answer to that. Um, but you do ask that of adoptive families, like where are they from and what is their story and um And in our experience, their story is just so beautiful and so much a part of who they are that I want them to know that. So there's constant positive encouragement and just

um constantly talking about how special that story is. And how we always talk about our families like a bunch of puzzle pieces that God specifically put together to create our puzzle of our family. Um, and each one of them represented a specific piece in a positive manner. Like it's it's not a negative thing that happened. It was actually the special pieces that only fit because God put them there, you know. Um, so that's that's kind of. kind of what we do a little just a little bit.

I love that. And we use the puzzle example or I guess analogy is a better way of putting it in our family too. And you know, that's pretty common, I would say, in the adoption circle. But just because it's common doesn't mean that it's a bad thing. So I think there's a lot of meaning behind that.

Um, so that like kind of circling back to what Sarah asked about how you preserve like your sense of self when you're parenting through that. Um, especially if we are trying to embody and empower our kids to think about. their story positively and giving that space for them to process all the feelings that they have with that. Like how do you stay grounded in that as you, um, as as a mom?

So staying I you know my husband and I uh work uh honestly extremely well together. We're very um it's a it's a big partnership. Um and he's constantly aware of like when mommies hit. Kind of that, you know, that tipping point. So he's very supportive of obviously just time, you know, away, time, time alone, you know, to get out and and do me things. I am a part of a mom's group, uh kind of a women's group at the local Mennonite church here that has just been

pouring life into me. Um and I absolutely that's like a that's a steadfast uh time for me that I I rarely miss that because that's something that kind of fills me up. you know Bible studies there's a there's quite a few mamas in there with uh foster kids and adoptive children and just that sense of community and finding those you know those those friends and things and and making sure that I take time.

um for me and also explaining that to my kids, that this is why this is important and this is this is why mommy needs to do this and um and and that kind of thing. So just giving it importance, I think, and priority. Yeah, I love that Melissa. And I think even though we we know it and we hear it, we need to be reminded that we have to prioritize being part of that community because

More often than not, it's the first thing to go when when things, you know, when there's that squeeze at home. Um, but really Giving ourselves the time to be filled up in that way helps us get through the more challenging days and more challenging seasons. Right. So I appreciate that reminder. Okay, so let's peel back the layers a little bit here. Tell us how you and your husband came to the decision to adopt and kind of why you chose the adoption process that you did.

Okay, so we were um married in two thousand six and two thousand nine we started wanting to have a family. Um two thousand and eight we s started trying and wasn't happening and I was a busy high school choral director. He is an English teacher and a high school volleyball coach. And so time was like we were very busy and we're both type A people. So we just were kind of like, okay, we're just gonna do this. And if it happens, it happens. And we weren't too concerned at the beginning.

Um two, two years down the road, we were like, wait a minute, something like this might not be something that's gonna happen right away, you know. So so then we started like kind of you know trying to explore. Being a little bit more intentional about things, um, still wasn't happening, went to the doctor just to, you know, see a few things and found out that um. That the only way we probably would is if we had IVF. Um, and so we were kind of torn on that. We um

weren't to be honest, never really thought about it before, so weren't sure where we kind of fell on that um issue. And so we were praying about that and kind of looking into it. And I think one of the things um I have an adopted nephew and niece. My brother has two adopted children, and I have also two adopted cousins. So adoption's kind of I grew up with

And so Chris and I, when we were early married, always talked like eventually we probably would foster down the road. And that was always kind of a door for us. We didn't know that that was going to be the only door for. Um, so it, you know, I definitely admit there is a grieving process when we finally decided, you know what, there are enough children that need loving parents. And good Christian stable homes that we were like what

We just don't want to go any further. Like if God wants us to get pregnant and and that's that'll be amazing. It'll be a beautiful gift, but for now we're going to accept the fact that this is where we are. We're going to grieve that process and then we're going to move on towards adoption. So that's kind of how we jumped into that. Whole realm.

Wow, thanks for your transparency. I think a lot of our listeners will be able to identify um with that uh portion of your story and Um, I love how God was just leading you through every step of the journey. Um, so let's keep going for the to the next phase and the actual adoption process itself. Um, tell us a little bit about how this impacted you and your husband and what kinds of things did you celebrate in that like preparation stage, like the homesteading and the like the whole nine years.

Um, so yeah, that was that was actually I think I grieved more. for the process of adoption than I did for me not being able to get pregnant. Mm, interesting. And I like if I I say if I could go back and actually birth the children that I have right now, I wouldn't do it. Um, one, because their story creates who they are. Um, but two, it wasn't for me. And this is So not everybody. But for me, it wasn't about being pregnant. It was about being a mom.

And so to be quite honest, I really struggled with the homestudy process because when we were going through the infertility part at that time. Two family members had oops pregnancies who already had older children. And I had three students in high school. And so then we start doing the home study process. And I was just thinking, board, like, why do I have to prove? I can be a mom. Like that was actually more upsetting to me than the fact that I

Um and and that was just it was just like, Lord, really? Like Why do I if if this person and this person and this person and three high school students and but I have to sit here and put out all the paperwork and do all the hoops. um to do that. And it was like God just said to me like You know what? It's time for you to take some humble pie.

And this is this has always been my problem. Pride has always been kind of a an issue with me, you know, like I'm I'm really proud that I'm strong in type A. And it was this time where God said to me, You're gonna have to sit back and let me do it. gonna be about you, it's gonna be about me. Um and so going through that process was a challenge. I don't know to be quite honest that there was a lot we celebrated and that um we celebrated being done.

Um, and we did meet with um friends of ours. Well, friends of Chris's sister. They had four adopted children at the time. Actually, I think they're they know. Because they did some fostering, but they had met with us and kind of told us their process and where they went and their, you know, kind of where God was leading them, and actually kind of connected us with the person that they um did adoptions.

And so we were kind of praying like, um, do we want to do an agency? Do we want to, you know, obviously cost is. that was the other like I have to worry about this and my decision making, whereas anybody else can just go get pregnant. But for us we had to really be wise and um just trust that God is gonna take care of it. And he did in many, many ways, but it wasn't without challenge.

Um, so we ended up going through um I'm not do you want me to share how we adopted? Is that okay. Um we ended up going through all we have four children. Um all four of our children were actually adopted from the same um adoption, I forget what he's called. Well he's an adoption lawyer but facilitator. Um and so in Jacksonville, Florida. Duval County is in the top five counties for the opioid crisis right now in the United States.

The lawyer that we used, he works with a crisis pregnancy center and also a local prison. And so he has a lot of things with moms who are all four of our children were actually born addicted to some substance. And spent time in the NICU kind of withdrawing. So they were a little bit more at risk adoptions, but

we kind of saw that as like kind of where God was leading us. Like he's you know, they they they need loving homes um as well and and there may be challenges, but he, you know, that's the way we felt he was leading. So Um, all four of our kiddos came from Jacksonville, Florida, through this adoption uh facilitator. He actually adopted his two children about twenty-five years ago. And the process was so horrendous he decided to specialize in adoption law because nobody knew.

um, you know, all of the ins and outs and all that. Um so then he's been for the last 25 years, he's been an adoption lawyer, um, which was was kind of awesome to hear his story as well.

So I love that. I always say to Liz, like in the next life, whatever that is, the next season when we all have time we don't know what to do with, um, we're gonna work an adoption, reform some sort of process. Right. Exactly not gonna be so A team of adoptive moms who are like, hey, it can't happen this way again. From all the time in the world. Yes. And well the other thing, Florida is one of the few states with their laws that are up to date.

Um as far as um, you know, birth parents changing their mind and the time limits and all of that. So that was extremely important to us as well because I I know that, you know. Uh my niece, um her adoption was not finalized for 10 months. Um, and it kept like being delayed and delayed and delayed. And I just saw the torture, literal torture that my brother was going through and his wife. And and so I was like, I just don't know that I can do that. This this journey is hard enough. Like I just

And so when we found out about that, then it was like, oh, okay, we'll do that. Yeah. Yeah, I love that. Okay, so you have brought these four precious children home. So let's talk a little bit more about when you brought them home, kind of what you focused on first, what challenges did you experience? You men mentioned that each of them had Nick use days. So just kind of the early stages of bringing them home, the cocooning, the attachment, all of that.

Um so kind of a strange way the first so my oldest two I have a daughter Jo Ray she's 11 and Luca my son is 10 they are actually full biological brother and sister Um we got Luca first. Which is weird because um you know he she's older, but we went to Florida, we were called at an emergency, she had the baby, didn't know she was having a baby.

She had the baby. He was born addicted to cocaine. And it was an emergency situation that the parents, the adoptive parents, had to be able to be there within six. Um and so yeah, so we presented our portfolio and you know, all of all of that stuff and she did uh choose us and we literally We're on a plane in six hours. And Drew will understand that this was the second day of volleyball tryouts. So Chris was in the middle of volleyball tryouts.

And I walked into practice and I was like, we gotta leave. Um, so that was a little, he was like, for what? Like I love that. For our listeners, my husband Drew and Melissa's husband, Chris, go back in the world of volleyball. So yes. Yeah. Yeah. You're connected forever, right? In the world. volleyball um and so it we flew down there um met birth mom met birth father um Spent significant amount of time with her. She actually asked me to hold her hand um through the tubes tying process.

I was okay. Um, so I met Jo. She was 18 months old at the time Luca was born. Her name was Joanne. Um they called her Joanne and we met her, we spent time with her, she was an adorable, beautiful little girl. Um and They were trying to parent at that point with her, and she already had a plan in place through DCF at that point. So they had basically told them when Luca was born addicted to cocaine, she was not going to be able to take him.

Um, especially since there was already a plan in place for older sisters. So Come to find out years down the road when we did get Joe that mom actually wanted us to take both at that time, but dad was not. not into that. So we met Jo and um spent a couple days with her, playing with her, you know, that kind of thing. Um birth mom signed all of that.

And I ended up staying in Florida by myself with the Ronald McDonald House, which is amazing, um, amazing, amazing ministry that they do there. And I spent um I think 13 days down there at the Ronald McDonald house by myself. Um and Chris had to come back home for volleyball and teaching. And um I spent I would go as soon as they let me at like 830 in the morning and I would leave at 830 at night.

And I would literally just hold him all day, um, just making, you know, singing to him, saying his name, getting him to, you know, to know me, to smell me, to, you know, all of all of those. Um and it was hard. It was really hard. There were um He was being weaned off of the cocaine addiction, which he did really, really well with. So we're thankful for that. But there were side effects, you know, and watching him go through those side effects.

I think watching them go through the side effects by myself was really hard. I was in Florida and my whole family is in Pennsylvania. So there was no support system. They were with me praying and everything, but I was by So that was the struggle going through those days in the NICU with him. But I just kept thinking what a blessing this is that I have nothing but time. I'm here and we're getting to know each other. And so that's that's what we did. Um, he did have um.

It kind of went so when his uh what's it called a meconium? Is that right when they right when they first are Yeah, the Marconium side. Yeah, the market it was due to the drug use. It was very uh acidic like it burned so he actually had like um second degree third degree burns on his hiny um and that was

That was her my husband remembers that to this day. He wouldn't change a diaper. It was horrible. Like I had to to scrape and I had to do a whole wound care thing because every time he would poop or pee it would

acid would be on the the wound and everything. So that took probably two months to heal. Um, trying different wound care things and he would just scream, it would just break your heart. Um Then he also had some some serious stomach issues with like projectile um not taking he had to be on a certain prescription formula. Um, and so he had really bad uh acid reflux. So he had to be up on Xantac as a baby. Um And the only place that that child was happy was in the carrier. Because it was

pressed, you know, kind of pr helped his little belly, but also he just like that's where he wanted to be. And so I remember I Chris was in the dead of volleyball season teaching. So it was literally like he was only Four pounds. We brought him home and he wasn't yet five pounds. He was almost five pounds and it was Mm. um, lungs underdeveloped. I'm like, no one was coming in the house, you know. So um like my mom and his mom and that was pretty the only people who got to visit.

So it was basically me just walking around the house with this baby screaming on the front of me like all night long. I would do laundry at three in the morning because I'm like, well, if I'm awake, I might as well. you know be doing something um but he was only happy like when i would just walk around with

So that was, I have to say, the sleep deprivation. I know there would be colicky babies too. So I know other mamas have done that, but that was pretty tough with him, just his trying to um get all of that out of his system. But again, you know, the blessing is that the connection was there and formed right from the very beginning. And there is a very good connection, very Physical comfortable connection.

Um fast forward 20 months, uh the week of Thanksgiving on a Monday, I got a phone call from Florida. And we were actually starting the adoption process and we were talking to everybody and just like, well, we really feel like as an adoptive, you know, like as an adoptive family, it's really important for Luca to maintain

his position in the family. So like we just feel like God really wants him to stay the oldest. And that's we're gonna go back through the whole process again. Sometimes I feel like God's like, you're so funny. Like Yeah. He just laughs at me like that's a cute idea, but no. Um so Monday I get a phone call from Florida and we had started our home our home study press was almost done um for the second time and I was like

I don't know what that is, so I didn't answer it. When then it rang back like 30 seconds later and I was like, okay, one like I have some family, extended family. So I picked it up. And it was the adoption lawyer. And he said, hey, this is so-and-so. And he said, how um, how you doing? I'm like, um, good. He's like, do you remember that Luca had a biological sister? And I'm like, yes, Joanne. And he said that um she was being removed from the home.

the next morning on Tuesday morning, she was going to be removed from the home unless mom and dad gave an adoption homestudy packet to DCS. And so mom and dad immediately were like, we want her to be with her brother. Um so six hours later. Ha ha Uh we were yeah, I called Chris in the middle of class. The students he had during that year remember that phone call.

They're like all of a sudden Mr. Telesco just sat down and started crying. And so we flew to Florida. And I can tell you when we left Florida with Luca, that was one of the hardest things we'd ever done. Like we left and brought him home and we were thrilled and happy and and just so in love with Luca and uh such a special time to be able to have him as our baby, our first baby. But like we would have conversations like is she gonna grow up hating?

you know, that that he got out and and and she didn't. Um, you know, is she gonna be jealous? Are they, you know, will they ever meet? You know, that was and I know that's struggle lots of adopt families have. So to be able to go down there. Um and get her was just like I We didn't know. We were just overwhelmed. So we spent that whole week of Thanksgiving down there. Um, she was on her third birthday when they signed their parental rights away.

Um it's her third birthday. Um, we stayed down there for Oh like Christmas Christmas probably seven, seven days of school took personal days. They were wonderful with him. They were like, you know, this is parental leave, like go do what you need to do. Um, it was not volleyball season. So um that was helpful. Um so we were down there, um, spent time. We took Luca with us. We did take him with us, so there could be bonding time. So basically it was the four of us.

In a hotel room for about 12 days. So that was a lot of bonding. I actually didn't know anything about cocooning at that time. I was so unaware of how to adopt a toddler or not an infant. Like I had vote because I knew that's what God was going to do. Right. So I had not really spent a whole lot of time trying to understand the toddler at all. So that was new. And I I kind of wish there were some obviously things that I would know, but we had a really close friendship with our pediatrician.

Um and he was like we were very close. So he was instrumental in bringing her home. Um, she had a lot of health problems. It was severe neglect um and malnutrition. Um, and so so health health problems that were all completely. doable. But still his biggest thing for us was routine, routine, routine. And so he said, I it is going to completely exhaust you, but you need to do the same exact things every single day, day in and day out. He's like, until she becomes secure. Um and

I'm gonna chime in to say one, everyone needs a doctor who's willing to do that. Um, to like really speak the truth and to like give those advice and I mean, I think everyone could probably like think about someone who is in that, but I just think about our own story and the cardiologist that I called when we were looking at my son's referral. Um, and we are just like, okay, like what are we looking at right now? Like is this It's a trial. Is it's not real?

need to be able to do that. So the fact that he encouraged that is amazing. It was a huge blessing. Oh, for sure. Um, but I love I'm I'm I know I'm gonna derail us for a second, but I would love to he you to do so with the routine, which is ironic, I guess, that I'm derailing us from the routine. But

Um, how do you find ways to still be spontaneous and flexible with I mean, like you have to be flexible. You're parenting a toddler, especially in the season that you're talking about, but We all know like the importance of routine and just being able to provide that consistency and reliability for our kids who maybe have not experienced that before. Yeah. Yeah so how did you do that?

So it was I my husband really and he would say to this day he was a terrible father for that year, um, that's hard for him. Because he is, hey, let's go. You know, um, he's got to constantly be moving, constantly be doing something. Whereas

I I'm was more the one that was like, I'm good with staying home. She needs to be in this house. She needs to like, you know, doing doing not to say that we can't go anywhere, but um it was a long It was a long six months or so before she started to really we could tell something swept. Um, we still kept routine, but like it was a long six month process. Parenting isn't easy, and parenting is one of the most unselfish things you can do, and for adoptive. I say it's a hundred times.

Because it was not convenient or easy for me to pretty much say no to every single us to do things. But I knew that's what she needed. So some of our big routines were like every single night. We got a bat, whether they needed it or not. We got a bath, we got our jammies, we did our snack, we brushed our teeth, we read our Bibles, said a prayer, sang a song, went to bed. Same thing every single day, every single night. And it was like, I'm so tired of giving you a

And so we did it. And I remember vividly, it was a it was near the 4th of July because we were out for fireworks. And this this had been almost six months. And this was this in this six months, this was the first time that we had been out kind of later, I'd say probably 10 or so. And because normally, and the big thing was we tried to do it every night between 7 and 7.30.

And so if we were invited somewhere, Chris would go and I'd stay, or I would go and Chris would stay. And so that between seven and seven thirty, okay, guys. So It was fourth of July, we were there as a family watching the fireworks. We came home as ten o'clock. They fell asleep in the car. You know, the whole thing. We get in, I carry her up and I put her in her bed.

which she shared a bedroom with Luca at that point. We had bedrooms, but she it was better for her to be with Luca. So sh I put her into bed and she looks up at me and she says, but I didn't get my bed. And I'm like You're right. We forgot your bath. So I get her, get her out of the bed, take her in, do the bath, do the snack, do the, you know, because that

That's what she needed. She knew I wasn't going anywhere. She knew her home wasn't going anywhere. She knew she took a bath. She knew she did this. You know. That it was so very evident at that moment in time that that's exactly what she needed to feel safe and secure and to be able to go to bed. And while it was very tiresome and tedious, she did have, she came to us fully potty.

And so I was talking to Joaquin. I'm like, she's three years old, she's fully potty trained. I'm like, so they did something, you know, right? Like they must have done something right. And he's like, Yeah, you'd like to think so. And I'm like, what do you mean? And he's like, well She it was drug situation, he said most likely she would leave her in the car while she would go into a drug.

buy or something and feel it was safer for her in the car rather than take her into a crack house or something. So she most likely taught herself, um, which like floored me. Um and which ended up being true because I had to actually teach her to go to the bathroom. She would hold it. She'd get up and she wouldn't go to bathroom. I'm good. I'm like, no, we when we wake up in the morning, we go potty, you know, around 10 a.m. Let's go potty again. You know, like I had to like teach her.

And every time I would shut the car off, I mean every single time I shut the car off, she said, Mommy, take you with mommy, take me with you. Mommy, take Joe with you. Joe going. And I'm like, Joaquin, what it he said, every single time he said, I know it's gonna be a pain.

Every single time we got to get her out of the car. You forget something in the house, get her out of the car. Take her back inside, get it, and then take her back out to the car. And I mean, if I forgot my phone, I would have to get it, get everybody back out of the car. Go in the house, through the garage. Go back out even for that 30 seconds. He's like, you've got to teach her that you're never ever going to. I I remember the day we got in the car and I turned the car on and I waited for it.

Like she she was there. And I was like, ah, she knows she knows I'm not going anywhere. Like, you know. Um, so that was that was kind of a big day, like realizing like Okay, like we I don't have to do this anymore. You did it!

Yeah. Yay! Melissa, I am loving what you're saying about routine and I know that as we hear more about the um adoption journeys for your your younger two, I think we'll hear probably even more. Well, I guess you tell us. Was there uh moments and and really, I guess, good examples of routine when you brought your younger two home as well. Um and how do you navigate how do you navigate the routines between so many different kids? I don't remember the whole first year of their life. No. Um

Um, we decided that we wanted to have another baby since we only had Luca that was a baby and Joe came to us at three. So Joe and Luca were four and five at this time and we started a home study process again. Um, and for a solid month of uh January, we started to prepare them like you're gonna have a big brother, be a big brother, a big sister, you know, like you would if you were pregnant.

and just sharing with them the process. So they saw the adoption process going through and how exciting that was one that we celebrated,'cause we celebrated with them. Um, and so Um Luca for a solid month at prayer time at night prayed for two babies, one for him and one for Sissy. And we would walk out of the bedroom and Chris and I would just And laugh, and how cute and stupid was he? But again, I think God was saying.

We got a phone call. We actually were matched with baby boy that was supposed to be born in August. And now we are at the end of volleyball season in May to meet the birth mother in the middle of volleyball playoffs. Um, so we found literally like a 24 hour time window that we could actually fly to Florida, meet the birth mom. Make that connection for the boy. Um, long story short, it was a horrible, horrible experience.

Mom missed two meetings, never showed. Um, was it it was the hotel that my husband picked out was absolutely horrendous, the worst hotel I've ever been in. When the person says to you at the at the desk she says, Do you wanna see the room? First. Turn around and go back outside.

So that was I was it was horrible. It was horrible all around. We almost missed our flight. Like it was just horrible, the whole thing. And so we were just like came home devastated. Like we had been matched. Um it's gonna be a baby boy, like.

It it was tough. It was a it was a hard one that that we lost and and then the birth mother um was trying to get connected back again and wanted to and not you know This is the beginning of June and so the first and second of June, second and to third of June, we were down there crying our eyes out in this very disgusting OJ. um and came home. And I was reading my devotions um the one of the days and and it came across Isaiah.

43, 18, and 19. Um, it says, but forget all that. It's nothing compared to what I'm gonna do for I'm about to do something new. See, I've already begun. Do you not see it? I'll make a pathway through the wilderness and I'll create rivers in the dry wasteland. And so I'm reading this and I'm thinking, okay, I'm a woman, I'm analyzing everything. Um, so I'm like, okay.

Is this is she coming back? Are we getting the little boy? Is this gonna work? Like what is happening? You know, so of course I have to like analyze everything. Well fast forward to the 13th of June at 5 a.m. in the morning, I got a test. And my husband said, Your phone just dinged. And it said, We have an emergency adoption for 10-day-old twins. You have to be here. In six hours.

So literally we were on a plane by noon. Um, and we flew to Florida again and we got to the airport and we looked at each other and we were like, there's two of the like wait. There's two of them. Um, that was like what Luca prayed for two babies. We're like, this is all his fault. I'm also seeing the title for your book, Melissa, six hours. Like I think it's genius. Six hours. No one's gonna say just the title of the... Up. So you have to be here in six hours. That's the beer.

So we got down there, come to realize we asked when they were actually born. And they were born, said, forget all that. See, I'm already doing something new. They were born June 2nd. The night, literally the night, we were crying five miles down the road from the hospital that they were born in. They were being born via CSA. Um, and so it was just like God was like, I got it. Like it's volleyball playoffs, you can't come yet. Um, you know, so it was just it was so humbling.

um to be like, God, here I am, like overanalyzing and crying and freaking out. And um so we left Joe and Luca here with my parents because they were in the NICU. They were only three pounds. um at three, three and a half pounds for both of them. And so they were gonna be in the NICU quite a while and the kids were not allowed obviously into the NICU. So we left Joan Luca here, which is one of the hardest things we've ever done.

Um, and we went down there for 17 days. We ended up being there before they were allowed to come back. Um, there was a lot of FaceTimes in there with them. Um, and we videoed our arrival back home. Um, it was like the most special moment ever. Um, when we came in the door, we surprised them that we were home. And um, and so yeah, it was that was a tough one. Um and One of the things I will say that was helpful, they were both born addicted to Percocet and Oxycontin.

Um, and one of the things that does end up being extremely helpful is that the NICU is really big on routine, routine, routine. Um, everything is done by the clock at the same time every single day. So I was there all day doing the same things with the nurses every single day. And as soon as we brought them back to the Ronald McDonald House, We were there again doing the same things, but it was just times two, which made it even um very, very hard. But then coming home.

Coming home it was summer. So my husband is a teacher. He does work in the summer, but that summer he kind of uh we were here able to tag teams. So trying to keep a routine for the older two and developing a routine for the younger two was was a big challenge. I was it was really hard. But we knew it was important.

We knew the older two needed to make sure they knew their routine wasn't going to change. This wasn't going to, you know, do anything. They were very hands-on with the babies. And also we let them help create routines. for the other like, okay, so what do we do? And they were like, Oh, they have to have a bath so

we just sponge them down or whatever. Oh, they have to get their jammies on. Oh, they have to get their so they were kind of essential in helping create that routine. Um and so they would say to me, Mommy, it's it's six o'clock, it's time for bottles. Like they they knew. was time for bottles at this time and it was time for this at this time and this at this time. Um so that was that was kind of cool in helping them create routine with them um in the house. So that's kind of that's our family.

What a story. We've said it on the podcast before, but you know, like we do the math and then God does the math, and it's usually not the same. I mean... Not the same sum, but that's okay because his plan is better than ours, right? That's right, that's right. So Melissa, based on your vast experience, um what is something that you want a prospective adoptive family to know? Um It's hard.

All of it is hard. Um, my brother said to me, I called him um from the the hotel, one one of the adoptions I remember, and I was sitting in the hallway and I was just crying and I was like, this is just This is just so hard. And he said to me, he's like, This is your labor. And I said, what are you talking about? He goes, this is your labor. Your labor isn't physical. Your labor is mental and emotional. He's like, so you're having your labor now.

And your labor lasts for weeks or months or years. Um, and I when he said that to me, it was like, oh. Okay, so okay, I can do this. Like I I can do this. I can I can um you know I'm not alone in this, like God's walking me through it. But it is hard. It's emotional. Um, there's emotions you didn't even know you had that you will feel. Um The biggest thing I can say is it's Um

the biggest blessing is to be a part of their story. Because like God taking care of them in the way that He did and brought them into our lives. People will say, oh, oh, you're such a blessing to them that they have you. And I'm like, oh, you're you're really wrong. It's actually vice versa. Like, he's allowing me to be part of their blessing.

Um, you know, it doesn't have anything to do with me. It's him. Um, and him giving us that that gift, opportunity to be part of it. So while it's hard, while it's exhausting mentally, emotionally. Um, it is all worth it. Um, and and then at the end, you sit back and you look at this picture and you're like,

I couldn't have done this if I tried. I I couldn't have put all those pieces together. Um, and just to see all the ways, like we were down the road in the hotel and you know, all of this stuff. It's it's amazing and very humbling to be like, God did that for me. Um, you know, and to be a part of. I d I don't know if we could have summed it up better than that. Um I I appreciate hearing Well, I just I loved hearing your heart and I just appreciated how your story is ongoing. Um, but

We're not going anymore. We're done. We're we're done. But you That's true. That's true. Lean is full though. You're still parenting, but the fact that you um, I mean, God has given you this amazing gift to be able to like step out of it a little bit and like see the picture, even though you're still walking the walk and like living the journey. Um and that part's so cool. That's like that's

Something that I think we yeah, we're just i in the passenger seat and we have to remind ourselves about that. Um we just get to see the view. So Well, Melissa, before we close, is there anything that we didn't ask but you had really wanted to share, something that was on your heart? I don't I don't think so. I'm excited for what you guys are doing. This is awesome. I think this is a great resource and Um thank you.

We you know, we s we've said this before as well, but we set out to try and have a podcast that we wished we had. Um, when we, you know, a several years ago. And even now I can say that I have met so many cool people, heard so many amazing stories like yours and just being In awe of what God is doing, um, in and in a like in amidst this journey of adoption and foster care.

Um, there's brokenness in it, but he is alive and working and pulling families together and pulling people back to himself. And So we I am privileged to be able to hear your journey um and to hear how God has worked in your family. And I know that we'll be listeners too. So thanks for coming on the show. Thank you so much. It's so nice to meet you guys. Yeah, thank you. And for all our listeners, please remember you've got this.

Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed today's episode, benefit from our show. whenever you listen to your podcast. Two Adoptive Mamas Podcast for a three. Learn more about how you can support our ongoing work. two. As always, it's been fun. Until we meet again, remember, you've got to do it.