¶ Intro / Opening
Wherever you are in your adoption journey, we are a community centered around
Trust
and respect for the experience and opportunities that have made us families.
We promise to share, encourage, and we'll be able to do that. Support and celebrate the day to day of adoptive mamahood together. I'm Liz.
And I'm Sarah.
And together we are two adoptive mamas.
🎵 Music
¶ Chris Telesco's Diverse Career
Welcome back everyone to the Two Adoptive Mamas podcast. It is once again Drew and Dan for uh the dad cast is I think is what we've officially kind of gone with, the dad cast or the data sode. We're not sure what we're doing.
So it is named, so shall it be. I I think that that works great. Hello everybody.
Yeah. We'll see how long this lasts. to do that. But um we are thrilled to have uh another wonderful guest with us. We have uh Chris Telesco is joining us. Welcome Chris.
Thank you. Thank you, Dan. Thank you, Drew. It's nice to be here.
Yes, so Chris is uh the other half. who have was already on the uh podcast. So we we when we were thinking about who to have on and have that uh dad perspective join we definitely thought of uh definitely thought of Chris and then um let's see Chris and I go back a little bit back into um some of the the volleyball days, uh, which is pretty cool. Maybe even get to hear.
story or anything about that. But um I've known Chris for a long time. Uh always looked up to him and respected him. And uh and then even so really connected uh beyond volleyball on the uh adoptive uh dad front as well. So
You Ben, if I could say, I mean, I think over the seventeen years of coaching there's there's only a few who who I could say from the team that was my arch nemesis, I had. I had a good, really good relationship with and Drew was one of those. Uh another one came after him, but but uh a kid who I I s saw stand out a whole lot in character.
when I was coaching and um and so it's great to have this connection now that you're you're no longer this little little teenage guy who's trying to grow a mustache. Now you're like you're like full blown dad. This is crazy.
Right. Something something like that. Definitely, definitely trying. And uh yeah. Thank you. And a lot of mutual respect, even though yes, we were we were Arch nemesis, but well past that. Excited. Likewise. Likewise. Wonderful. Well, uh kind of the first question we're kind of starting off with is um just because we're so much as guys identified just with, you know, what we do. Chris, what do you do?
So I have been teaching eighth grade English at Penn Man in the Penn Manor School District in Manor Middle for now, I think this is year sixteen. You kinda lose count after a while. Um I uh so I do that full time. I do photography, uh wedding photography, family, family portraits.
senior portraits, all that stuff on the side. I've been doing that since I graduated college, so like twenty some years ago now. And uh and then I do masonry over the summer, believe it or not, because I have a summer off and why not why not kill my body? So yeah, I do some masonry over the summer with uh some buddies of mine. So it's it's good to good little side gig.
Okay, nice. And now Chris, are are you still coaching?
I am I I so I retired When COVID hit. That wasn't gonna be my last year. I knew it was gonna be my last year before the whole COVID was even a a worse. And then the that season, 2019 season came along. We got two weeks into the season and all of a sudden there's this like announcement, hey, you're not gonna have practice tomorrow and we never had practice again. And that was my last season of coaching.
Well, fast forward a couple of years here and the the team that I thought was all set up with a coach. or coaches for the next however many years are are struggling to to get some coaches. So there's a a an opportunity, a chance that I might be stepping in for a year and only a year. My wife made me made sure I say it's only a year.
Gotcha.
survive one year if in if needed. Uh the the finances will help, but it's also it's also just good to connect with us.
Okay. So your your upcoming year you're looking to to be in there.
It's coming up in a month. Actually almost exactly. Yeah.
That's right, coming up quick from the spring season. Okay.
Yeah. So that's not that's not set in stone. It's it's just a possibility at this point.
Okay. Gotcha. I was gonna I was gonna ask you how you since you've kind of stepped out even during that time frame, like how have you kind of Found because you've been a part of competition and volleyball for so long. How how have you kind of found that or satisfied that competitive edge?
It's funny, my uh I I'm I'm a competitor, I am super competitive, but but along the way with coaching, well I loved coaching and I wanted to win every every game. I was able to to disconnect from that a whole lot. I I noticed that even in watching sports. I didn't get get quite as angry at at my team not winning uh to the point where I stopped calling them my team all the time because'cause that's dangerous when you do. But I uh yeah, I I found that I didn't need that anymore. I think it
more than the competitive edge, I I felt like there was a loss with the the impact I was making on these young men. Uh that that was hard to to let go. That was probably the hardest thing to let go. Um, but when you change your focus to your kids, which was the first time, I mean, when COVID hit and I was home for I mean, how many months were we home for? It was amazing.
Germany.
Yes, it was amazing though just to to spend so much time with my kids and uh and my wife and be able to I'm heck, I had the mulch done in March. I have never had that done.
Ha ha.
So I just put my energy into other things and I didn't feel that loss. And then the whole COVID thing helped kind of smooth that so that it wasn't it wasn't such a such a rough ending for me. It it yeah, I don't know. I it it was gr it seemed more gradual.
Yeah, probably gradual and and really helped you prioritize and focus that. But at the same time, like you had your last practice and you didn't know it. Like you had that probably was also odd too.
Yeah, I don't know if I was just expecting like it would pick up again at any moment. I'm kind of an optimist by nature and I was like, Oh, it's gonna we're gonna be back on and we're gonna be back on, we're gonna be and it just kept not being back on and I think maybe that just kept my hope going for a while and then And so by the time it was not back on, I was I was okay with
Gotcha. Good.
¶ The Start of an Adoptive Family
Cool. Wow, it's a really Uh interesting to see how the shift can change. Uh the shift can happen that it becomes more about family and you kind of get focused on that. So tell us a little bit about your family. How are you connected to adoption and foster care and whatever that part looks like in your life.
Oh man. So my wife Melissa and I, we are just blessed. And, you know, you have the people who are like, Oh yeah, the the children are blessed to be with you and we're like, no, no, no, no. We're we're blessed to have them because Because uh I mean our story our story
Let's see. Adoption begins for us probably with Um, my my wife's niece, my niece now as well, but on her side, who is now 19 years old and she was she was adopted and we were like, oh, cool, adoption is pretty awesome and got to be part of her story a little bit. And so adoption was not this like alien thing to us. So when we were struggling to get pregnant. I mean I think our next our next
thought our next idea was adoption. I I don't even know that we we fully I mean we tried we tried to some procedures tried to see if anything else would work and when it didn't, I mean it seemed really natural for us to start looking at adoption and and then I mean a good 18 hours later we have four kids.
That's that's how that's how I like to tell the story because it really as far as notice goes, it was about eighteen hours total, total for us to get all four kids. And we went from one to two to four and not in the progression you would think. It was Everything we had planned, God said, Yeah, right. You're right, I got a better plan.
That's right.
Yeah, yeah. So he he uh maneuvered that in ways that we couldn't even see and we get to tell stories like this. We get to tell stories like this and it makes for um It just awesome opportunities to to show how God has been at work in in our family.
¶ Luca's Unexpected Adoption Story
Absolutely. And how especially with all that sh well, not all that notice, but the the short amount of notice, how did that Tell me more about that. How was that as an employee, as a prospective dad? I know at some point you were already a dad. Like what what did that what went through your mind?
Well, it's probably best just to take you through the progression and kind of fill in that story. So, um, because each one had its own own little hiccups and and and I and then there's I'm sure other things that I'll forget. My wife can tell the story in Three hours and I I can usually get it in like three minutes, but we'll we'll see. It's the beauty of the difference between men and women. Uh huh. What do they say? Women women are like spaghetti, men are like waffles. I am totally a waffle.
Ha ha ha.
Box to box.
Making me hungry.
Uh so so my son Luca, he was the the first to come along. He We knew that he was coming along. We had uh the idea that We had the notice about it that in like a month he would be born and that we were up for that case and you know how it is, you turn in your little portfolio thing and say, Hey, we're interested in this case. We were going through a lawyer in Florida who specializes in adoptions and who we had gotten connected with.
through my sister's friend who they had adopted four maybe five times, I don't even remember. And so they directed us there and we knew Florida's laws were were pretty adoption friendly. sign then then it is it's done. Um so we uh We got our name in w for this little boy.
And
We're like, okay, we feel like God's leading us here and and don't you know we start getting the our stuff all all ready. I I don't even think we had turned everything in fully because the the lawyer was like, Hey, by Friday, get everything in. We're like, okay, we'll fax it in. Well, that night, that night. She goes into labor and has Luca and
So the lawyer reaches out to everybody and he's like, well, the timeline just moved up. You have till noon to get stuff in. So my wife is wonderful. She scrambles. Thankfully she's super organized, gets everything done, everything in, and And so then the birth mother starts deciding. Little boy is born and she's deciding. And I remember her telling us that she has a stack of these portfolios and ours was on top for some reason. And she
starts reading through it and she's like, oh two teachers and they can't have kids. And sh one of them's a music teacher. She loves music. And she just takes our portfolio and holds it in her one hand and continues to go through the other. Until she goes through all of them and she's like, nope, this is the one, the very first one. And she chooses us. But we don't know this at that point. And you know, like there, there's that.
that agonizing wait time and so so I remember she was supposed to just decide by like, I don't know, twelve o'clock, one o'clock, something like that. And we heard nothing. So I'm waiting to hear from my wife. She's not saying anything. She'll um contact me, text text me and say, say like not no word, no word. So I drive over to volleyball practice. It's tryout week and
I drive over and I call her and I remember exactly where I was and she's she's crying and she's making me cry and she's hitting rock bottom, like this isn't gonna happen. We weren't chosen. I don't know how many times I can do this and And I uh hang up, I go into practice, I gotta do my thing. I remember checking my phone at four o'clock.
And I was like, still, still no notice from her. And I'm like, okay, it's done. I tell my volleyball boys even I am pretty open book and I tell them like, hey, here, kind of disappointed, but I'm ready to go with practice.
And
I don't know, four thirty, something like that. I've got my I'm facing my boys. I got my back to the to the door and they all look over my shoulder and I'm like what
What's going on?
And I turn around and I see her walking in and she just nods and like right there, like the tears just start flowing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's it was just one of those moments like it's like felt like it was from a movie in Um, but it's yeah, three hours later, three hours later, six hours later, I don't even know what it was. We were we're on a plane, we're going to Florida to adopt a little boy. Um and I mean a whole lot of
mess with that when you're in Florida and you're waiting and all that stuff. And I have to fly back. I have to do practice. Then I have to drive back through the night. I remember I did practice. I taught. I did practice.
And then I got in my car and I drove through the night, got there at at as the sun was sun as the sun was rising so that we could just sign papers and do all that stuff. And um and super cool. I mean super cool. But while we're there We not only get to meet Luca and we love that moment, you know, when you you get to hold him for the first time and you're like, I'm a dad all of a sudden, six hours ago I wasn't a dad, now I'm a dad.
¶ Adopting Daughter Joanne Ray
Amen. And so he was in the NICU and but we got to meet birth birth parents, we get to hold their hands as they signed. It was it was um it was pretty awesome, but but we also get to meet this little girl. whose name was was Joanne and and she's uh I think it was like 15 months old at this point and she's Luca's full biological sister and
I remember my wife told told the lawyer, like, hey, we know we're not trying to do anything. We just want you to know if it ever came that she needed to be adopted, you just need to call us and never thought About that again. We prayed for this little girl, Joanne, and we connected with the parents and just tried to stay in touch while it You fast forward about another, I don't know, twelve months, half uh year and a half, something like that. Um and
And I'm in class. And you asked about like how do you bounce out with school? Well, I'm in class and my phone rings.
And
It's Melissa and she never calls me unless there's an emergency and she's like, Are you sitting down? And I'm like, Oh no, what happened to Luca? I'm like, Something bad just happened. Don't tell me and she's like, Sit down. Um so I sit down. She's like, Do you remember Joanne? I'm like, Yeah. And I'm like Lucas Lucas sister. He she's like, We're adopting her. Like Okay.
This is what's happening.
This was a
I mean it that's at least the way I remembered. I don't remember quite
You're right.
Thing but but um Yeah, and then another few hours later we're I mean, I left school immediately and we go down and on her third birthday we get to adopt this this little girl. And And it was amazing putting those two together for the first time. We were just just watching videos just the other day because Because Joe asked, she's like I What does my my birth mother look like? And so we got to show her some of the videos again and wow and um and we don't
Probably a whole that's probably a whole nother episode in and of itself, isn't it? That conversation and all that. Yeah, well we won't we don't have to go down that route, but that sounds like a whole whole nother time we'll bring you back on. You and Melissa.
¶ God's Plan: Twins Emma and Ella
Yeah. That that was it so I mean that's that's our our first two and then as as wild as those were for us. I mean God was like, oh no, no, no, I'm gonna I'm gonna one up you on on those two and uh surprise you a little bit more. So I I can go into those now if you if you want
Yeah, go for it. Love it.
So we we then fast forward um gosh, so to twenty eighteen I think it is that We start thinking about adoption again. And we're like, okay, we don't feel like our family's done yet.
And
So we we just start talking about it, praying about it, uh, start preparing all the all the paperwork because you know everything runs out. You gotta renew all all of your clearances, all that stuff. So so we start putting that together and And give our our name or information to the lawyer again. And he's he's in touch with us, telling us when there's cases coming up.
And this this case comes up for this little boy. And we are just, this is awesome. This is awesome. We are going to um We're gonna we're gonna keep things in order as in order as they can get. Um, because we already got interrupted with with Joe. It felt like an interruption because we were like, Luke is going to be the oldest and then we're going to have somebody younger than him. And God's like, nope, I'm going to interrupt this because you have plans and that's not cool.
And so Joe, of course, is older than him. So already we're we're realizing that God's got different plans. But then We have this little boy that we're supposed to adopt and we We get chosen.
But uh if I can throw n numbers around, I uh I uh don't always like to do that, but but the cost. I mean, here we are, we're on one salary, teacher's salary, which is not Fabulous and we already struggled we're still paying off the the cost from from the other two and then we're talking about thirty five thousand dollars for this little boy. And um to to cover all those fees. And so we go down, we were chosen, we go down to meet with this.
birth mother and everything that could go wrong went wrong. I mean, even we laugh about Burger King. We go to Burger King and I hate hot dogs. And don't you know I order like a chicken sandwich and they give me a hot dog. And I'm like, come on, nothing else can go wrong. I'm like, this is just like tip of the iceberg. I mean, so we go down and on the way there, there the the woman says, Oh, she's not gonna make it until the evening. And we're like, okay, that gives us time to go to the hotel.
Again, everything that could go wrong, the hotel was the worst hotel you could possibly stay in in Jacksonville. And then and then we get another call a little while later saying, oh, she can't meet tonight. And we said, well, we have to fly back tomorrow. And he's like, oh, it's okay. She'll meet you in the morning, first thing in the morning. So we meet with a lawyer first thing in the morning. We're waiting for her.
And it's just excuse after excuse and she can't she doesn't shout. She ultimately doesn't show. And we're brokenhearted. We're driving back. Now the lawyer put us in touch with her and she's texting, like, Yeah, I want this to go through. But then all of a sudden radio silence. We hear nothing. Like we're home, we're trying to get in touch with her and there's nothing. We just lost a thousand dollars just flying there and doing all that and
And there's nothing. So that was on um June first into June second of that year. And we're just devastated. We're like, okay, here we go. I mean, I think we were even at the point of running out of time that we we were gonna have to renew everything yet again. And I was about uh so summer hits. This is about 10 days later. 10 days later. Um, I'm doing masonry now.
And I get up early in the morning. It's like it's like five, five thirty in the morning. And I'm just getting ready and I happen to be beside the my wife's bed and I hear her phone ding. And I'm like, anybody who texts her at five in the morning, they're dead. They are dead. There's some things you just don't do. So I I'm like, who would be texting her at five in the morning? So I do something I don't normally do and I check her phone.
And it's the lawyer and he texts and says, we have 10-day old girls who needs to uh need to be adopted immediately. Are you interested? Okay. So I wake her up and thinking that's point. And she immediately starts typing. And I'm like, what are you what are you typing? What'd you say? She's like, I said yes. I was like, okay, we said yes. Okay. Shouldn't check with me first. But that's that's cool because we knew we were in. We we've always been a team on this.
أمين
Now we see God's hand in this fully because what we find out is those girls were born June 1st into June 2nd. The exact time we were down there, about like five miles away at that same at the same hospital, these girls, these girls were being born. And if it hadn't been for that disaster down there earlier. um we may not have been chosen because the lawyer's sitting there, he gets word that there's twin girls that need to be need to be adopted and he's like, who can I uh who can I
get right now within hours because this has to be done by noon or they're going to the foster system. He's like, who can I get? And he's like, who's been who's been kind of like, for lack of a better term, he's he's like screwed lately. And he's like The telescopes and he sees our paperwork there. And so he texted us first and we and we're like, if it weren't for the disaster, I mean like that's how God can take something that seems broken and make it into something.
And so we we go down there. Oh, in that morning we're just trying to figure out how are we who's gonna take Joe and Luca? We gotta go down to Florida. We'll have to take them with us. We're trying to figure out plane tickets. And there's a knock at the door and it's her brother, Melissa's brother.
And we're like, what are you doing? She's like, you're here. And he's like, yeah, I'm here. We're supposed to go shopping. He She's like, no, but you're here. He lives an hour away. And don't you know, he just rings the doorbell and we're like, oh my goodness. And he takes the kids for the next 17 days and we go down and we adopt these beautiful, beautiful twin girls, Emma and Ella. Um, and I I just can't even imagine our our family without.
¶ Navigating Feelings of Inadequacy
Amazing.
18 hours.
That's right.
Yeah.
Well, uh th Chris, thank you for for sharing your story and and just so much of what how God has worked in your family in the in the creation and addition of your family and how he's worked uh through through you and Melissa. Um but something that's uh the and to at the two adoptive mama podcast that we're really focusing on this season it are some shadow feelings. So some of those thoughts and feelings that kind of come up.
Usually at least for us guys, kind of like out of nowhere, but they're kind of they're kind of a shadow because they're a little bit in the dark. Maybe it's controversial or something that isn't always as welcomed as a as a thought or feeling. So
Especially as you're kind of looking back at how God has worked in your story and and your family. And then also kind of as a as an adoptive dad, um, would you be willing to share any of those shadow feelings or some of those things that you kind of specifically thought or felt as you uh as the Lord was working in your life?
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Like I said, I'm pretty much an open book. Um I uh There were certainly there are so certainly some difficulties along the way. I mean, anytime you start anything of this magnitude, I mean, parenting just in general, there's this whole idea of feeling unqualified.
Like I'm I'm not qualified to do this. I'm not ready to be a dad. Or when I taught, I'm not ready to be a teacher. Or now that I'm looking at potentially being a principal one day, like I'm not qualified to be a principal. But uh when I don't think I felt that fully. When Luca came along, my wife is a rock star. Like she was born to to be a mom and she's she's so good at it and I uh I think I I stole some of her confidence.
Um and there's little boy and I got to see him from basically from birth. It was day uh I think day one that I actually held him and he was mine and and so I learned, I learned and we learned together and it wasn't it wasn't anything that threw me off, but When when Jo came along, um, so her her name's Joe Ray, you remember, she uh she um she's our daughter and she came along at the age of three, actually on her third birthday. Uh-huh. I had no idea how how to deal with a
three year old. I had no idea how to raise a little girl. I had no idea how to raise a little girl who already had a a personality and feelings and
Okay.
words and attitudes and uh that I didn't that I didn't instill, that we didn't have the opportunity to instill. So So there is there is some time there that I uh I I wrestled with God, like you talk about um Jacob. We just read Jacob in the story of Jacob the other night. If I have to point to a time in my life that I wrestled with God. Uh that was my my pre-dawn wrestling with God while she was, I would say the first year of her of her life uh
¶ Finding Grace in Fatherhood
It was hard and no fault of of hers. It was all on me. My my expectations didn't meet reality. Uh so I expected this little girl to do things that uh I thought a three-year-old should be able to do because Luca at this point is only he's only like a year and a half. And I see what he's doing, and I'm like, oh, she should know this.
But she shouldn't know that. And she cer certainly shouldn't know it. Um considering considering the the upbringing she had had up to that point, some of the neglect that she had felt. Um I remember Oh man, I I would actually say that I was a just a bad dad. No, that's relative to what I see in myself now. not necessarily compared to bad dads, truly bad dads maybe out there, but I was not loving, I was not kind, I was impatient with her.
And I I remember one night I just finally broke and I went for a walk around, thankfully within a little quiet development. And I just went for a walk and I just, I mean, it was just tears. It was tears upon tears. And I was just wrestling like God, I I'm I'm sh struggling to to like this little girl. I love her, but I'm not sure I like her right now. And it yet it all came down to me and my heart changed. And from that moment on, I don't know if it was the prayers of my wife or
just God uh working in me, but I I started to soften. I started to see like the beauty in her. And now I've got this twelve year old girl who I just adore and she is She's she's sweet, she's polite, she's mature, she's responsible, she loves Jesus. And I'm like, she's awesome. And I uh it it took me a long time. It took me a long time to to see that um because I missed those first three years. And I I think that
That's hard. So so for for prospective dads, um, that's one of those things when when you Adopt not at birth, but when they're already older, that's going to raise challenges for you. I mean, for any any parent, that's going to raise challenges. Know the difference between expectations and reality. I remember I had to learn that lesson long before that, but then I had to learn it again in the different, different facets. So
I I need to learn grace and I need to learn a whole lot of grace for myself as well as for her. Maybe more for myself because. I was beating myself up and and for I would say a long time after that I was still beating myself up like Okay, I'm no longer that same dad that I was in that first year that we had her, but I had trouble forgiving myself for the way I was for that first year that we had her.
And I I think it was probably three, four years ago, um, five or six years in that I I fully came to grips with that. That okay, I made my mistakes, but God's forgiven me and and um he's taught me How to be a better better father through it.
That's amazing to hear about the progression and just the grace uh that is learned over and over and you think you've learned it and you you think you got it and like, oh yeah. I'm gonna give myself grace on this. It's gonna be better. And then the the same situation comes up and it's just slightly different and like, oh yeah, I need this, I need this every day, preaching the gospel every day. to myself so that I as a parent am able to approach this child.
Because I love I love the child, um, and I need to to navigate what I'm feeling inside and where I'm at so that I'm able to show the child it's not about her. Not about them. I I need to walk with them.
¶ Advice for Adoptive Fathers
Yeah, so any other advice that you would give to a prospective adoptive, a dad who's thinking about starting this journey?
Yeah, it's funny the after after telling that that the shadow feelings, um, which is a cool term. I hadn't heard that term before. So I uh thank you for introducing me to that idea uh so important to us to get in. reflect on those feelings that we don't normally grab onto but On the flip side of that, I feel like it's the flip side, but yet I think the two might go hand in hand.
I've talked to a lot of prospective dads, um, adoptive dads, and and it seems like a lot of dads, I don't hear this too often from from the the wives. But a lot of dads who are just like, I'm not sure I can adopt. I'm not sure that I can love the child like my own, like like I want my own biological kid. And and I think a lot of it
Is
is that that they fear that they're not going to see that child as their own, as as uh Yeah, they're as the same as they would with a biological child. And and I I would say n no. I mean, if you are if especially if you're a Jesus follower and if if you love people at all, I I think the moment you see your kid, you're gonna be like, That's my kid. That's my kid and you'll never look back. I mean I uh never look at my kids and I'm like, Oh, you know, they're they're
They're my adopted kids. Yeah, I know they're adopted. I know their story and I'm so proud of their story. Um, but they're my kids. Like they couldn't be more mine and And it's it's unbelievable how that happens. Um, I don't care if they didn't look at look like me at all. For some reason they kind of do look a little bit like us, but but um they are.
They they are our children. So to those dads who are questioning, okay, will I love this child? Yes, you will. You will. It'll be your kid and you will never you will you'll throat punch anybody who says otherwise.
Yeah.
Is that okay to say here?
Of course.
Absolutely. And I really like that. that image because I was thinking about the idea of the 18 hours and was thinking about like uh you know we
Work.
parents six hours before and and now we are parents and that's all in our eyes. And God this is God's got this plan. since forever and so he's not surprised there's not not been any six hours for him he wasn't taking yeah he wasn't surprised that you got that call when you got the call he wasn't surprised about the five a.m test None of it was out of his plan. It was just ours. And so we have to trust and walk the plan.
¶ Raising Teens in a Broken World
And what an opportunity for the conversations that you have had with prospective adoptive dads of of your personal experience and from hearing even from other adoptive dads that it Hello, nice to meet you. I love you. Like it's that quick and it's that instant and it never it never changes. And I mean, thank you again for being so vulnerable and sharing that that connection or that attachment was tricky with a three year old daughter in that scenario between
expectations and reality as well as the different different trauma and different things that uh Joe experienced. Like that was that was a gap, but look at where you put in that hard work and how God put in that hard work and look where you are now. Like that Like I'm sure you guys are inseparable now.
Oh yeah. Which is so rewarding. Is there any that was something that you've kind that you worked through at you know at that kind of time frame? Is there something in particular now that you're kind of learning or is tougher or whether it's even if it's on the adoption side or Even like you were mentioning, kind of figuring out this coaching, what that looks like. Is there anything you're kind of learning?
doesn't phase me too much. You do that long enough and I'm like I I could step in tomorrow probably and and do the job at least decently. Uh well I think what uh what m both Melissa and I are learning a lot right now is just as our kids get older now, we're getting we're about to We're getting close to one who's a teenager and she just asked to go to her first dance. And like how do you how do you navigate this these teenage years? How do you how do you lead your kids? Um through a broken world.
in godly fashion. I mean, and we're we're talking about times that are different from even when you and I grew up that that are these are these are times where They're bombarded with things that that scare scare the living daylights out of me. And uh how do you protect your kids while also training them up to to uh, be men and women of God and and be be able to love love those who are who are different, who believe different and And yet not and not always accept.
when they will
Just love the heck out of them. So we're we're navigating that. I think we're learning a whole lot about that right now. And I have no answers, so don't ask. Uh but we're we're trying to learn.
Thank you.
With the wisdom of those those who went before us. I mean we we do a whole lot of talking to people who we admire and and just ask them like how do you do it? How you've raised you've raised good kids. How are you raising good kids? We've been doing that all along, just asking different couples, having dinner with them, and for that purpose, like how do you how do you raise truly great kids? Uh in such a such a messed up world.
That is the really great question. How do we how do we teach them to cling to Jesus in the midst of all the messed up world? In the midst and yeah, just being able to walk with him.
¶ Adoption: God's Greatest Gift
Anything else, Chris, do you uh would like to share with us, share with uh listeners or Adoptive parents?
I think I just have to say uh just clearly that this is adopting is the greatest greatest um gift. I've had in my life. Uh, to to be able we we joke, we're like, okay, those those who have children biologically, while that is a wonderful thing, it is God ordained, it is You don't often get to ask people like hey how did your Uh uh do you have kids? Um it's uh not a story that's told in public usually.
That'd be right, right.
And here here I get to to tell the story. um about about how God how God brought this stuff together. Dan, like you said before before there was time. Uh God had this plan and and he wanted to orchestrate it and he wanted to bring these certain people from different walks of life, me, Melissa. Um and then our kids from four four different places or at least two different families coming in and What a just what a story. I mean
All four of us are born in different states. Uh sorry, all six of us I should say. None of us come from Pennsylvania. We come from New York, we come from Kansas. Uh all the kids come from from Florida, but there's two different families there, Joe and Luca and then Emma and Ella. And like I brought four different families and from different places in the country and he said, I want you to be together. And I I'm like, Go God, go God.
That's right. That's right. Oh, that's amazing. Well, Chris, we want to thank you so much for being with us tonight and sharing all of this and pointing us all to Christ and helping us all to see what adoption is and can be all about. Listeners, we uh it's been an honor and a privilege to talk tonight with Chris and we look forward to our next time, Dan and Drew signing off.
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