S3/E3 | The Fairgrounds

that means we're south of town opposite. Oh so Max, mirror Max. Well, I'll be Jim chimped Nex. It is you. You remember me? Dorothy? Yeah, Dorothy Dupunt. Hey, Archie, I know this kid. He does work for my pop sometimes. Pop calls and mirror Max because he gets the Lincoln so shiny you could shave in your reflection. Max. This is our cheap loor. He's my guy. Now you're doing sport. Actually, I'm glad to run into you. I need Helsey just can't get good health these days with this kid. He's

a regular gas piston and Archie. You wouldn't believe it. I heard him say the sweetest thing. It was one Saturday a few months ago. He spends all days chauvelin mud in the back acre, out in the sun. It's hot as helen out there. At quitting time. Here comes our made Clara to offer him some cold roast be for supper, and he says, no thanks. My mom's making navy being soup tonight, and it'll sure hurt her feelings if I don't come home hungry. What the hell's a navy?

Isn't that the most darling thing you ever heard? Easy on the sugar doll, you're gonna run away with this piste ripple, Archie, don't be coarse. I'm just playing Dorothy. I need help, ye my dogging me. We're stuck on the wrong side of town and I don't have a way to get home. Oh well, archiese, Papa sending a car to pick us up later. I suppose we could give you a ride. Really well, golly, I mean we could, but don't beat around the bush doll. Look, we could give you a ride, but we're in a jam too,

So how about you do us a favorite first? What is it? Well, earlier tonight I lost something something real important. See, I borrowed a tennis bracelet from Archiese mother, robably worth more than your house diamonds out the don't be course. It was supposed to be just for tonight, but she doesn't know I took it. That bracelet means everything to her, and I lost it in there at the fair Do you think you could go in and find it for us? Why can't you go back yourself? Oh, I'll tell you why,

tight ass brother, fucking Carnie trash Archie. See, Archie caused a bit of a stir inside and we got thrown out. Jake leg imbeciles French. Hold on, Archie. We were in Quiet Cows. Have you been there? No, it's a check full of rotten mummies and pickled whale job. It's called Quiet Cow's House of Wonders. It's on the far side of the fairgrounds, sort of a cookie museum stuff from all heck knows where it belongs to this weird old woman who calls herself Quiet Cow, nasty old bet out

of her mind. So we were inside looking at the mummies and whatnots, and Archie pipes up, say what's behind the secret door? Yeah, you gotta wonder big door just says keep out. My friend Frankie says he heard old quiet cow runs a gin bar on the sly back there, cold booze fan dancers with ditties out to hear. Well, whatever it is, she wouldn't open it up for us, and Archie lost as town. I said, after everything my pops does for this town, you're gonna treat me like smut.

Keep me out of your ditty joint. How about I give it back to you? How would I smash your dirty fucking mummies? You had too much to drink, doll face, I'm just getting started. Well, I went, Frankie and Bertram get here. We ought to go back and burn the whole damn. Anyway, Archie made a terrible mess and they chased us out into the woods. But then I noticed the bracelet was gone. It must have fallen off inside cows. If you can find it in there, it would mean

the world to me. And of course we'd give you a ride home. Here, take my ticket, you can get in with that. Well, you really are a sweetheart, See you soon. Okay, buddy, just got to find this place. I think it's this way to come free. Nick West, the whims and tips, the store, blood run, hot up, stick plunge. Are you a regular matter? A bag of wax limps? The old way to know it's as say they're cool. Why not give it a goal at the knife toss sink the blade and the yellow cork in

the prize. The only way to lose is to walk away. Sorry, Mr I'm in a hurry, so you're in the wrong place from her wrong fil bashable Welcome, Welcome to Quiet Kyle's House of Wonders, home of the world renowned Hall of Mummyosity. I am your hostess. That is my name in the marquis. Ladies and gentlemen. We had a bit of a bug tustle earlier this evening, and we are

getting everything cleaned up as I speak. The tour will begin in just a moment, and in the meantime, Delbert, you may commence with that horrible instrument if you must blee madam now has my galic assistant attempts to torture melody from that satanic contraption. I would be happy to answer any questions you have. Hey, I heard you had a two from a man eating tree in there. True, you will see it with your own eyes. Yeah, standing barrack.

Now to that one, I say cock and bull. Ladies and gentlemen, The tea in my total is a capital one, I assure you. And the only spirits with which I associate are those who reach out through the venerable right sales. Well, there it is, ladies and gentlemen. If you haven't a ticket yet, you may purchase over yonder if you have one in hand, right this way, Come tell there see

here the gunpowder God. Many years ago my late husband and I were crossing the plateaus of the Great Altai when we came upon a tribe of ox herds, after trading for a few bubbles and a kind of sardines, said they would take us to see their god in the flesh. And what do you know, but when we came to it, this idol was no less than an unblasted howitzer shell, dressed in garlands of lilac. And the people, one by one pressed their lips upon it like it

was the pissine ring of the pope. This is their god? How did that happen? Here? That is a secret of the trade. What's this? That is my taxidermy of the dreaditor at bear of Patagonia. The beast never grows larger than a pumpkin. Yet a single one of these rodents could eat a man hole, though often enough they will settle for biting off the exposed genitals of one who steps away from the group to make water while on a hunt. Looks like a stuffed rabbit. Yeah, with assholes,

fry laugh. Are you like the Philistines? We will take your money all the same. Now onto the Hall of Mummiosity. This, I believe, I can say with confidence, is the largest private collection of mummies on Earth. We have long mummies, shot mummies, old mummies, young mummies, Linen's age to find hues of emmy, slate and rose, noble mummies, humble mummies, kings eternal and children of the past. My late husband than I spent the better part of our lives collecting

these beautiful specimens from every corner of the globe. We have not only the refined, stately mummies of Egypt, but the creatures of the Jutland bog, curled and cured in blankets of Pete, the gorgeous desiccated guardians of the scrubland, and the Plane. Our mummies come from every continent, every corner of the map. Admire their elegance at your leisure, but I must stress, do not touch it was behind this door. Stop that now, ship, this is the secret

room you got that booze all back here? Don't you out out dull there? Hey, you can't expect that. Apologies for the scene, ladies and gentlemen's hum Fools cannot be saved even by education. Enjoy the exhibits. Excuse me, ma'am, And who are you? My name is Max. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for something. A friend of mine lost his special Barrie slet in here, and I'm trying to help her find it. I looked all over the floor already. Do you have Boston found? Young man?

This house, in its full is a lost and found. Oh but in the sense you mean, yes, I do, Darbert, step into my office. This boy here is in search of concert. You will have to excuse the mass. We suffered a frightful act of vandalism this evening. In a hurry to clean up. I fear that every single thing has been mislaid. Dalbert the Lost and Found. One moment, madame name, can I ask? Why are you called quiet? Cow? Well? Now that is on account of my contract with the

Power Almighty. You see, one foul, foggy morning many years ago, my late husband Brad and I were chopping and whacking our way through the jungles of French into China, on the trail of a local sorcerer whom we had been led to believe possessed the bones of a winged gremlins or. And it was on that track that the Lord himself intervened to save me from certain death in a pitfall tiger trap. Hearing his stern voice call out, I hesitated

to lay my foot on the forest floor. And I tell you, if I had taken one more step, I would have tumbled to a perforated and skewered like a sausage on stakes of bamboo. As was my poor husband, Oh clever he was, and handsome and dextrous. But since the Almighty saw fit to withhold me from such a piercing ingratitude, I undertook a vow of silence that I honor to this day. Does that mean you don't talk correct like you're talking right now, dear boy, This is

not talk, this is discourse. I also keep a vow of chastity m by God, Albert, what is taking so long? My blood comes to a simmer as I watch you foots and fumble about. Max, my boy, behold a man so maladroit he'd need a stalking horse to approach a pot of beans. Do you hear me? Yes, madam, I believe it. It's just here somewhere. Why are you lumbering fangle? If I had any sense, I would turn your hide into a cover for the privy seat so it would not chill my haunches in the midnight hour. Are you

still not finished? Ha? Ha ha? Good this yeah, that's got to be it. Give it here, Dabert. Now, Max, I'm not a fool. I know where and who this came from. I'll give you the bracelet, but in return you must give me her name. Think now, it's only justice. This girl and her rattle cap baw laid an absolutely senseless wallop on one of my most cherished mummies, the body of a holy child from the storm burned peaks of the Andes. Now, whatever you think of these withered rapplings,

they are priceless to me. I travel the world to acquire them. There my life's work. You must understand when my life's work is stamped into the floorboards by a couple of soft boiled bambini on a Halloween lark. It is only fair that I would seek justice. I won't lock them in the iron maiden, though I do have one around here somewhere. I will be engaging the police, of course, there's no reason for them to find out it was you told so do we have a deal? Sorry, nam,

I can't h so be it. I'm disappointed, But as much as I desire forthrightness, loyalty is a virtue with a luster of its own. Of course, this means I'll need to keep the bracelet as evidence. Now, run along and a merry Halloween to you. Are we gonna do now? Buddy? Now, folks, two passengers, Hi, your dirty cheek. That's a trick knife. I want my bunny pat. It's truth, everybody tonight down, there's no trick. Shall show you something. You're too bit buzzy.

Imagine the hot breath on your skin. I imagine the claws like a drag harro ricking your neck. I fought alone is enough to send you were me running from a hill. But it's all in the day's work for Abel Riggs, the astonishing Lady Lion Tamer. Get your tickets now for the last show of the evening, featuring Maybel Riggs and the fearsome King of the Pride Happy. How does she do it? They all want to know. Will

this be the night Pappy prevails? Or well Maybel and her wit proof Brital enough for the man eating beast. The only way to see for yourself is to get your ticket now. How about it? Max? Is tap been for a lion show, stay boy eat him? Who else could it be? I don't know you, Mr. I don't want to know you. I don't want anything to do with you. Max. I understand you are afraid. You are lost and far from home, with no one to trust, no when you should trust. But you can tell by

now that I am not going to hurt you. Quite the opposite. A wait for me. Let me walk home with you. That is all I ask. I will make sure that you get back to your mother and father in one piece, and then I will go on my way. Why would you do that? Haven't you noticed tonight? Something is just not right with the world, mainly you, Max. Come with me. Do not run, Miss Cow, Miss Cow, you again, We're closed young man. Nope, I need help.

What's the matter. I don't know what's going on, But there's a a madman chasing me all over the place. I keep seeing him everywhere. He's a murderer, all right now, I just saw him outside. I can't I can't lock the door. There, Come here, my boy. I don't know what to do, my dog, And you're stuck out here on a wrong side of town, and everybody's going crazy to night. He nobody even knows I'm here. Nobody knows

you're here. What about your father and mother? I was supposed to be home hours ago, but he got all turned around. Do you have a telephone? I could try to call them? Of course? Of course? Do you hear this stub bear, this little mopet wayfaring on the devil's night, and not even his mother knows where to find him. Come, let us find the telephone, the secret room. The phone's in there this way. This is what everybody wanted to see. What is all this bags of cement? Hey? Wait, my dog? Oh,

he'll be all right out there. We have some business in here. Max. How tall are you? What? Small for your age? I judge why? I can see in my mind I know how the brawnier boys must subject you to terrible abuse. I know how boys can be each one a minor Attila. Do they spit on you, call you a molly cuddle, and pill for the change from your pockets? How would you like to be freed of these piddling ordeals? Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about. Max,

How would you like to become a god? Dabert, Honey, go help? Hell? No one gaves near you in my little cabbage, and no one even knows you're here. No sense in screaming yourself, elf, horse, what do you want? Look at this? Look what they did to my brittle darling. You can barely see that it was once a slender boy like yourself. Bones crushed like eggshells, desecrated by the heel of a pagan loafer. Look how they ruined him. Well, if you won't give me justice, perhaps you can be

my justice, Dalbert. How long did it take for this fine creature to attain his immortality? It seemed, yes, perhaps three years to slay the demon, another three to season his linens. To tell the truth, I forget where he came from, And yet he dried so exquisitely max I admit I fib dismission earlier about where most of our

mummies come from. The truth is, the world has become such a treacherous place, and travel so expensive, it hardly makes tends to scour the lands of scorpions and bandits for a dwindling supply of antiques when the sacred rights themselves are at our fingertips. But never fear, you could ask no better a guide into your transcendence than myself. It was my dear poor Shrade who invented the process,

rediscovered from the arts of a more civilized eon. But I am a faithful caretaker of the way and a steady hand to boot Dalbert the rights of everlasting life. What's that? Two humble grains of ancient pedigree in equal mixture, here salt and here sand, two granular gifts from a million years of wind and tide, working upon the rocks you see before you're clothed in the linens of heaven. You must be purchased as the great enemy of immortality,

the demon, the demon of moisture. These grains will slay the demon and become your holy protectors. Except I must warn you of what may be a source of momentary discomfort, which bullsh rotten I discovered long ago. It really only works from the inside out. Now open your mouth, my boy, and you're a sacred journey begin. What's this? Who's there? Surprise your old bet? I told you I'll be back

with my pals, Archie. It's me that rum having boys burn it all, burn all this, CARNI tread no, no, no, mindless physicot stop Albert, stop them, I get your gun. Where do you think you're going? Gold me, lady, Such disloyalty, such vicious contempt to tuck tail and run, for God's sake, show some dignity. Boy, you are to be one of the gods now. And if they burn you burn, let go of the boy. What by what right do you think? Oh?

Oh my word, I'll look at you now, look you observe my luck to meet you only at the moment my museum is burning. Oh dear, I want you behind glass. What a clap of thunder you are? What a shocking angel? No, ma'am not an angel, but he's the die you swim. Tick your hands off of me. No, Max, run is for you, fariful extraordinary errow arrow, Hey Gerry Ward Buddy Gold. We're going to get out of here. The train, that's it.

We'll have to hop it. Come on Colon Faster Boy, Thirteen Days of Halloween Devil's Night, starring Carter Rockwood and Clancy Brown. Episode three, The fair Grounds written by Joe McCormick, featuring the voices of Olivia Castineau, Vinnie balbo Ive, Gordon, Nicolas Takowski, Raphael Corkill, Gina Rikiki, and Jeffrey Kennedy. Edited by Zosha, Sound designed by Josh Thane, directed by Alexander Williams.

Script supervision by Nicolas Takowski. Casting by Sunday Bowling c s A and Meg Mormon c s A. Production coordinator Wayna Calderon. Production assistants Zoe Shay and Amber Ferris. Animal recording by Ben James, closing theme by Rose Azerti. Loyalty Freak Music dot Com recorded at d G Entertainment in Los Angeles, California. Engineered by Gary Forbes and Jody Abbott. Additional recording by SoundBite Inc. In Atlanta, Georgia. Engineered by

Chase Nixon, studio manager Kathy Roberts. Executive producers Aaron Mankey, Noah Feinberg, Chris Dicky, Matt Frederick and Alexander Williams. Supervising producers Trevor Young and Josh Than, producers Jesse Funk and rima Il Kali. Thirteen Days of Halloween was created by Matt Frederick and Alexander Williams and is a production of iHeart three D Audio, Blumhouse Television, and Grim and Mild

from Aaron Mankey. Learn more about the show at Grim and Mild dot com, slash thirteen Days and find more podcasts from I heart Radio by visiting the i Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Two