¶ Podcast Opening & Social Media Woes
Yeah, I mean, I don't know how much I should say about this topic specifically, but... Go for it. Yeah. In a past relationship that I was in, there was a guy who I... barely knew um and would regularly hang out with said girl Pretty good. Okay, that's good. Harvey. Absolutely horrible. I hate every social media platform.
That is not a good statement, I don't think, to start the podcast with. That's not true, actually. That comes from a place of a person that has to deal with them on a regular basis. I'm just... I don't want to start... on a bad note because that's never fun. We had a great...
A great time yesterday. Well, a long day yesterday. Loads of stuff going on. But we, in the midst of all of that, went on our friend Ami Charlize's podcast, who we spoke about, who's obviously on LockedIn recently. Sorry that you didn't get the invite.
tills i know you felt a little bit okay because i think she just she just knew that i would have come and stole your your likes well do you know what she said to us and i can't remember if this was on or off camera i guess we'll find out but she did say that she thought about inviting you on first but then thought oh well you know i'll
i'll ask max and harvey to come on suss out the situation and then didn't want to let your feelings get hurt i think that was what it was she's a big fan uh we found out which is you know great news for you because i think you like her videos as well as far as i'm aware I wouldn't want to put words in your mouth. I've heard you say positive things. No, I like Ami, yeah. Fantastic. That's it? You like Ami? Yeah.
what what kind of like content have you consumed from her because i i'll be so real i don't really know that much of what she does i obviously know her as a person i've seen her on instagram but
¶ Ami Charlize Podcast & Nonchalance
I watch her TikToks. I couldn't lay out her content to you. Are you trying to be cool right now? Are you trying to be like, oh yeah, whatever. You're so blasé. Am I being like Tom Reed Wilson right now? Blasé, I guess. It's basically another word for nonchalant, I think. What's the deal with that word at the moment? Yeah, Tilly's super nonchalant. You are hella nonchalant. Bring back some of the chalant. We need it. We do need some chalant up in here.
what is happening season just a little bit of oh my day you like paprika true that welcome back to the 14 again podcast i'm harvey that's max and that's tilly and please do like and subscribe if you enjoy these episodes because get involved, you know, be part of the family. That's what we are. We're all, we're all family here, even Dobby. Isn't that right? Yo. All right. I think.
We need something to get the brains going. Dobby, I'd like you to get involved as well, please. Would you motherfucking rather? Would you rather? Be forced to leave your home country never to return or never be able to leave your home country. Leave.
¶ Would You Rather: Home Country
Leave. Leave. We're all leaving straight away. I think... What? That one was worse than... He thought I was going to be a real thinker. Where are you going? Anywhere else. America. America, Australia, Japan. UK's a shithole. Is it? Literally anywhere. Everyone wants to come here, though. Listen, right. I've said this to people before. Actually, Australia when I'm 18. London's great. Manchester's great. Scotland's great. Other than that... We don't live in any of those places. Okay.
Norway, Iceland. Scenic for Scotland, that's that gone. Cities, you've got like Lisbon, New York, anything like that. New York is pretty good. Yeah, that's where I was going, was that London... Sure, it's great, but there's New York. So I'm fine. If London was the only London in the world, I'd go, ooh. It is.
Actually, I don't think that's true. There might be another London somewhere. I'm not 100% sure. Yeah, but it's the only London. But my point being, theatre, massive on that. Need that. There's some decent theme parks here, but there's some way better theme parks.
literally everywhere else so the only argument i will make for the uk and this is specifically to us is i think in most other countries you would not be able to go to a place and have somewhat peace and tranquility in your area i would argue we somewhat do in our area and still be as connected within a network like london or like manchester because of how close they are in all these other countries if you were to you know live in a peaceful slightly tranquil place
you are going to be so unbelievably far from everything else. That sounds like a good thing to be like. I suppose it kind of does. I'm a little bit mixed because, you know, there is a part of me that likes... infrequent hustle and bustle i couldn't just live a completely peaceful out of in the middle of nowhere life but at the same time there is so much negative i think both about our country right now but also
about some of the ways that things are dealt with in our country more specifically and that's not to say that other countries got it down because my god the world's just in turmoil it's chaos right now i can't believe we're even still doing a podcast i would have thought we'd have all been nuked by now and that's it
it's optimism i know but that was where it was going at one point so it's like fair enough we're still here we're still kicking that's all we can really do it just everyone just go out and start kicking i reckon i didn't think your would you rather would lead us to sort of an existential crisis
Yeah. No, we're all fucked. No, we're fine. I think. We'll make it to February because we're touring. So if that doesn't happen, I'll cry. And then March when we're also touring. If anyone doesn't know, we're going to... the entire uk and ireland and then we're going to australia doing shows check the link in description for tickets if you want to come speaking of australia is it not quite interesting how we've been we monitor our socials we see what happens we we saw quite a drop in followers
some socials the other day yeah there's been there's been a purge it seems and and don't get me wrong there's there's natural like everyone occasionally loses followers at the same time you gain followers what we'll see is we'll gain x amount of followers and then maybe like lose
half that amount at a time or whatever and for a lot of people you're probably thinking what are you talking about i don't care but we were trying to figure out because all of a sudden out of nowhere it just went mental and we were like what could have been the cause of that And then Tilly pointed out...
¶ Australia's Social Media Ban
Australia have just had a social media ban, which I think we have loosely covered before, haven't we? Yeah, but it's only actually happened now, three days ago. Now, we don't have confirmation that this is the reason why, but it's the only logical conclusion we could come to because obviously over the last couple of...
this little genius came to the conclusion to be fair well yeah but that's what i mean is that we don't we don't know for sure like i'd still love to have confirmation of that um but it is very strange because like i said over the last couple of years you know we've been very fortunate that our social media has all been
really healthily growing. Isn't it fantastic that as soon as we've announced the tour in Australia, they go, and now take away the social media from the children. I'm a little bit mixed. but at the same time well held together at the same time I'm kind of like okay
We can work with this because, sure, they can take away the social media, but they can't take away people's ability to go see it live if we bring it to them. Do you know what I mean? How are new people going to then know that? What we need to do is we need to go out to a... Australia early and beg. I don't mind going early. I'll go early. And drag people towards the shows, I think. You know, there's so many people that are like, I'm still here.
And stuff like that. And people that like in the comment sections, the Australian people being like, haven't got me. I just find it really funny. Yeah, but I wouldn't do that, by the way, because they're going to be able to train their algorithm to go, ah, you are, are you? Boop. He's just eliminated. I really don't know how they're actually monitoring that, but I'm sure we're going to see it over the next couple of weeks, what he's actually going on with. I really pray the UK doesn't do it.
i saw i saw a fair few like i mean to be fair by the time that the uk would be able to put it into action um but i saw a fair few like news interviews where they were literally interviewing children They do that, but it was funny to see so many in an order and basically just a bunch of teen girls going...
I think it's unfair that they're taking our social media away from us. It's like, no, Debbie, you don't know shit. All right. Like you, they're all called Debbie. I don't know. That's a fairly Australian name, I suppose. I just guessed. I actually, do you know what? Though maybe it is an Australian name. It's a very old.
Woman name, so I don't think anyone would have been called Debbie anyway She moved to the UK are they called the Debbies? Oh, but from Australia Oh because of the social media ban. Oh, that's quite funny they actually follow me on tick tock wow i was gonna i was gonna follow them back but then i was like i don't know it just feels a bit not awkward but i've
I only really follow people that I've somewhat interacted with. Yeah, I'm the same. If you ever meet them, then yeah, it would make sense to follow them. But they do, I think they live in like London now, so maybe we might cross paths. Fascinating. Were they influencers? Yeah. I see. No, they didn't just move. As soon as you said there was a family that moved to the UK because of the social media ban, I went.
¶ Social Media Exodus & Community Toxicity
did they have anything else going on in their lives or were they able to just pack up and go like that's kind of crazy so they are they are like a family of they're like a family channel or something yeah i'm pretty sure right so it matters yeah it's so strange as well that something like that genuinely can make people go right we've got to go somewhere else like how are the nuts gonna do well there's only one of them that's not is it just naz yeah unless you count disco and char and oh my gosh
I keep seeing, there's this one video where I say, like, you know, it's like, oh, the Norris Nuts know who I am. Like, all four of them. People like, she doesn't like them that much because she doesn't know who Disco and Charm are. Obviously, I do. But, like...
The Norris nuts are mostly the four. Obviously, they're the family of the Norrises, but do you know what I mean? I get it, Tills. And it's just so annoying. It's sort of like when I... you know get get something a little bit wrong about a roller coaster fact or whatever and then someone calls me out for it and then i just want to well it's just not true i do know who they are anyways
Out of the four Norris Nuts that own the channels, Naz is the only one that's... And she's 15, so she's only got... yeah sorry it's really random but a comment i want to make on the roller coaster thing is you're so screwed for that as well because the amount of brainy thinkers you've got to deal with in terms of uh the people that like roller coasters oh yeah apparently so i don't really pay that much attention
but apparently the rollercoaster community can get quite toxic for that reason. Wow. This is just what I've picked up from... Toxicity overrides. I know, but it truly does come from like... how much do you know kind of thing and that that to me i'm like very much like that's i'm not interested in that like i think some people just you know maybe it's it's about how many credits people have or whatever i i don't really know but it just
I was fascinated by a story I was told recently. I won't name the person because it doesn't matter. But they were telling me about they had an interaction with an older guy that was a photographer. They're also a photographer, but loosely. and he said to her that uh he for some reason felt the need to say to her you're not a real photographer by the way yeah great start right and his reasoning for that was because she'd never had her own exhibition And I thought...
Isn't that mental? Dobby, you're not a real photographer. You had an exhibition, Dobby? I do videos. Such a high barbie of like what lets you be a photographer. You had a video exhibition? No. You're not a videographer, mate. Yeah, fuck you. I can set up my own one and no one turn up to it, but I still did it. Yeah.
Absolutely. Have it in your living room. I just did think that was a mental thing. First of all, that he thought even felt the need to say that to her because she wasn't like challenging him or anything. I could count with my pinky if you want. No, it's a... It's a... It's a... What's the word? That's a pinky. It's an encompassment of his character. Okay. Does that tell you what that means? Usually this is an indicator of something.
Ah, bro's got small dick energy. Okay. Well, you're making the point, but, you know, you might as well. I thought you meant something else. What do you think I meant? You know how, like, people say, like, that's swearing in Chinese? I did do that, to be fair. Yeah, but it's so stupid. Because it's probably not even remotely true. Someone just said it, and then everyone went, oh, yeah, okay, we can't prove it. Yeah, exactly. We can. Just ask someone from China. That's also...
wearing in china i think probably yeah uh where was i going with that though i mean there wasn't really a wrap up on that i actually just related that to that because i thought it was similar but good if that was like because obviously got clock it right that's maybe we'll work it on god on god
Can we make that a thing? The moral from that is maybe don't be a dick if you think you're good at something. Just let other people try things sometimes. That's going to be the moral from that and we can move on whenever you'd like. Oh God. Okay.
¶ Winter Wonderland Video Adventures
And me and Dobby did a run. They went laps because you have to get special permission to film. Winter Wonderland obviously and they were really struggling to find the place to get the wristbands and then they found the place to get the wristbands and no one was there so then they had to go somewhere else and then it was a whole thing and me and Tilly were just living life I was running after you yeah to be fair it's so annoying because I'm trying to be like
dad mode, like keep Tilly in sight at all times whilst also trying to find these two. But she's just so slow. She's all waddles. I wasn't slow. I wasn't slow. Genuinely. He was running at points. He was like running at points. And I was like.
He was like, come on, catch up. And I was like, sorry. Harvey's actually not a notoriously rapid walker, to be fair. He actually takes his time sometimes. I just kept turning around and being like, stay in front of me. Yeah, but people were also getting in my way. So then I got like... But if you just stayed in front of me, you'd be fine.
We did some heinous shit, didn't we? I had my foot out at one point. It was, hopefully the video's probably out by the time you guys are seeing this, but we said that last time and that didn't happen, so. I said that. Fingers crossed. But it's a great video. There were a load of four, well, there was, no, there was only one four.
fit in the end wasn't it yeah fantastic and i didn't get my one prize i wanted oh yes so well so but beforehand we had a chat about the video obviously until he was like i really want a tornado potato and the idea Sorry, tornado chips, whatever. I'm surprised I nailed it. The idea of the video was that we were going to Winter Wonderland and we wanted to do all the things that you would do at Winter Wonderland, but...
rather than actually just doing them, we had to win them. So we'd compete, the three of us, and whoever won the challenges, sometimes two of us won, sometimes only one of us won, sometimes one of us lost. which was great fun. But yeah, so then it was the prize was... I think there was only one person that lost every single challenge.
Nah. I did okay. Maybe I did lose, actually. Wait. Did you win anything? No, I'm not sure I did. Wow. Seriously? Wait. Oh, yeah, because you didn't even win Rock, Paper, Scissors. No. Sorry. Spoiler alert. Go watch the video, though, and then you'll be all caught up. If it's out. No, you might be right. I might have lost everything, actually. It was quite a bad day for me. What I found really funny was when we got...
the American girls to rate the photos and they had a 14 year old in front of them and chose not to let her win. That was like an insane moral victory for me because in my head I went, I was like, there's no way they're not going to pick Tilly as the winner. That was what I was thinking the whole time. They were always going to pick you because you were trying to be like really charming.
I thought I sold them with the P, but they hated that. They literally, what was it? They're like, I don't get it. What is this? Can someone explain this to me? It was very funny. So anyway, we won't just detail the whole video. You should go check it out. But we had a lot of fun filming it. And the crazy thing is, is that actually we went to Winter Wonderland a couple of weeks ago after the Vic episode. But that footage unfortunately obviously got lost.
But the video was nowhere near as good as the second time we did it. So actually, we're really glad that we ended up going back to do it. yes i mean you slept in the car on the way home we're tired i'll be so honest like this with we have been non-stop since we got back from la on the grind baby guys speaking of winning oh go for it i have my from when I won the Who Knows Harvey best. Oh, wow. Well, that video hasn't even come out. That won't have come out yet. I can't.
¶ Tilly's New Phone Unboxing
well we gave her a prize in a video that hasn't been posted well i won so and i thought i would i thought i would open it you're not doing an unboxing of an iphone i'm quite devastated this is a slightly monumental moment just in a jealousy terms of things, but she's got a better phone than both of us now. That's the first time that this has happened, I think, actually. Wow. Silence. Are you serious? Are you doing ASMR? Can I just go on my phone?
We should advocate for that. Sure. Sorry, sorry, sorry. By the way, I've been... I've been posting a... No, I'm doing this. I've been posting a TikTok since this episode started and it still hasn't uploaded. Please be quiet. I'm so angry. It just hits the ground. You got it in white. That was judgy if I've ever heard.
Well, I'm not being funny. I'm not getting it in orange. And maybe blue is an option. Orange is cool, I thought. Black isn't an option. I liked the orange. Orange is an awful colour. Why didn't they do like a dark sort of black or space colour? They didn't... Navy blue. I don't know. I'm just not here for navy blue, to be honest. It's not good enough, really. Where were we going with conversation before this started happening? I'm a little bit lost. You said you're tired.
I did say we were tired. We just, but yeah, we've been filming loads since we got back. And obviously now, well, now you've got that brand new phone. You can upload loads of content, can't you? Wow. Oh, loads of filming to be done. Lots of TikToks. Yeah. You know what someone said to me? And I'm not going to name any names. But someone goes, oh, yeah, I heard that the camera on that is so good. You can see your paws and everything. Great. So I'll just send it back then. Yeah.
I was like, so whenever I'm having a bad skin day, I just can't even look at my phone. Yeah, bad for teenagers, I reckon. That's that. I was like, brilliant. Yeah, but technology is so far advanced anyway. Chuck a filter on that bad boy, no one knows. It's crazy. Just get some Botox, Tills. You'll be all right. Yeah. Everyone, if there's one piece of advice I could give you today, fill your face with plastic. Fill your face with plastic right now. Go get Botox. It's so good for you.
scientifically proven as well yeah there's um loads of testing just doing it again just doing it again jesus do it a third time they're gonna go crazy for their stills you're just This is worth every second. You're pissing me off. I'll give you £10 right now to... Stop. Smash the screen. Throw it at the wall. £10 in your pocket right now. That's a good offer, Tills. He doesn't do that much. Does that mean I'm getting my phone back? No. What? Mum wants to sell it.
It's my phone. Yeah, surely, hang on. There was no exchange whatsoever when I handed it over. It was just, here, have a free phone, and now someone else is selling it. That seems... This has got nothing to do with me. I'll let you have whatever you want, sweetheart. You have the phone. Yeah. I feel like... Yeah, not now.
I know what Sarah's doing. She's going to be like, oh, I'll let you have the phone, which means you owe me now. She'll give it back to me for Christmas. She's playing the mind games. She used to do that. She used to hijack my Amazon packages around this time.
a year and just wrap them and give them to me. I'm like, I wondered where that went. I actually felt quite bad because I just got a delivery of some quite nice clothes because the company had a sale and I was, I started opening it in front of mum and then sort of put it below the counter so that she couldn't see it.
Wait, hang on. She starts sniffing. She's like, I can smell new presents. No, yeah, let's not encourage Sarah. She is good to be fair. I am kind of taking a piss. We're all sharing her presents this year. You need to tell us how much we need to send you. I did. I told you both. Tilly went and ordered like a bunch of presents and went, just send me money. Well, I'm making your life easier. That's true. That's so true. You don't have to. Well, I could rap for you. Okay.
¶ Defining Cheating Boundaries
I love Dobby. Yes. I want him in my bed. Have you seen that trend? I've got a trend. No sense of rhythm there whatsoever, by the way. I've got a trend. That trend where it's like trying to rhyme for as long as we can and people will like...
Like put like a blanket over them. Oh, let me find it for you. It's quite funny if I do something myself. Right, while she does this, take two. I want this to feel like an actual rap. I'm not a freestyle rapper though. This is not fair. Forbidden. This is so absurd crap. You don't want you in the round. Okay, well now this has happened. Can it stop? That's way more embarrassing than anything you could do. Sorry. You know that social media ban? I get it. Yeah. It's funny.
Okay, here we go. My name is Max and I broke my knee. Everyone smile and say, hi, Dobby. Hi, Dobby. No one fucking said it I have a lack of appendix and I don't know how to end this Yeah, is that good enough it happened. Yeah I feel like I just kind of blacked out for the most part when I start beatboxing. No one said hi to Dobby. That was going to be the hook.
That was going to be like the moment. Did you want Dobby to say hi to himself? He's Dobby. You were definitely the letdown, but actually I only wanted Dobby to say hi to Dobby. it would have been very funny um but yeah i'm glad we did that yeah um what tells what do you consider as cheating that was the worst segway i mean answer the question
Uh, I don't really want to do that. What the fu- what's the point in doing a podcast if you're not going to answer the question yeah no comment next question yep what what would you consider as as the boundary for cheating what what would be Like the first step thing you could do. Cheat. She makes a good point. Science behind it as well. I like that. Thank you for your edit. I don't know. Like it's kind of obvious, isn't it? Is it though?
¶ Personal Experiences with Cheating
Of course it is. It's not obvious to everyone. That's why I'm asking you. Well, that's the thing. If it's not obvious to you, you're already done. Say what's so obvious. If it's not obvious, you're cheating. Speak words. If it's not obvious to you, then you're a cheater. But the thing is... If you're in a relationship with someone, can you have a one-to-one conversation with another girl or another person?
of the opposite gender yeah so that's fine so we're fine now can you spend the evening at that other person's house and be fine depends they'll be saying no well i mean i guess it does depend but hey bro i'm not telling anyone they're wrong by the way it's more just like a intention and respect thing like yeah
Yeah, of course, it's way more respectful to not do that, but you sometimes just can't stop that. I'm with you, I'm with you. See, that's where I start to draw the line a little bit, I'll be honest. I think you have probably a tighter line. than some in the room i i think again it is all all about intention but okay let's say this right i'll get to me let's say there's a there's a guy and and his girlfriend and then the girlfriend has a guy friend
They want to hang out, the girl and the guy friend. Options are limitless. You can do whatever you want. For the most part. Even just go out and hang out wherever. It doesn't have to cost any money. You can just do whatever. But to... to go to the other person's house where you're behind closed doors there's no one you know no witnesses not not that that should be the first thought but no one can ever
prove what happened or know what happened or anything like that and it does become suddenly a bit more intimate because you are behind closed doors that that to me just feels like a bit disrespectful like why would you willingly you know keep keep your partner out of the loop almost in that sort of way i'm completely with you on keeping in the loop i think that's the most important thing yeah communication of what's happening the the problem i pitch to you
that i think a lot of people do have this problem but then again a lot of people then don't have self-control over this problem so my situation for example not that it's the best use of example but i've got girl best friend um and she is in a relationship i know the guy reasonably well and also me and my friend were friends before she was in that relationship so in that sense would it
be weird or would would people see that as a weird action to take to keep being friends and keep hanging out one to one because we know there's nothing going on between each other Boyfriend is pretty sound in that. there's nothing going on he's a lovely guy as well like i say i've met him on multiple occasions but but what what are your guys thoughts on that i think it all is dependent on how well each other is known and i think you know there are certain instances where
there are people who don't have that same level of like respect for for both building up a rapport with the the boyfriend or whatever making sure that intentions are cleared up and all that sort of stuff um and yeah i mean i i don't know how much i should say about this topic specifically but i'll be honest i've i've had that experience myself where god i just
Go for it. Yeah, I don't know, because I've never really publicly talked about it before, other than, funnily enough, on Ami's podcast, where I did actually loosely say something. I haven't told you about that, by the way, but that's fun. Or me, but that's fine. Sorry, there you go. News.
Information. I sort of dropped it a little bit as like, uh, here's some information I didn't share with anyone because she was like, you've either got to share your private story or a confession. I was like, well.
I've only got one thing that's a real confession. I don't really lie about anything else other than the fact that I'm your dad. But anyway, we won't do that. Sorry, I'm stalling. I'm stalling. So in a past relationship that I was in, there was a guy who I... barely knew and would regularly hang out with said girl and intentionally and to the point where, you know, that person would go around that person's place.
Sometimes if they went out in London for the evening, stay over the night. And I would always just be kind of like, I feel like I'm missing something here because this, this isn't. This isn't cool. This isn't like, and I'm not trying to be too overprotective because I trust that. I did trust that person and 100% knew that nothing would ever go wrong there or nothing would happen. But also was a little bit like.
this is equally very avoidable. I think what definitely matters, because I luckily know that situation reasonably well enough to be able to comment on it, but also it does obviously massively matter on... the guy's intentions and what they behave like and what they're like as a person because we both very much knew that person and knew what they were you you say you you we actually you're right we didn't know him that well yeah
we knew what he was like enough from having heard things from other people so yes that is going to put the wrong thing in your mind and and potentially send you down that spiral of like well what if he acts up and i do get that and also and also to be completely you know blunt about it that my ex was receiving regular what i would call
basically inappropriate messages from that person as well you know skating the line yeah not not going so far to the point that it was literally like okay this needs to stop but stuff that was just so avoidable and unnecessary and not even someone being friendly but someone being you know really pushing the boat and just taking the piss and not only do i think that as as guys as a whole
¶ Communication and Trust in Relationships
you know, you have every right and ability to be respectful and to be thoughtful of that. But actually just not even realizing that, you know, you're causing problems in ways that...
I don't know. I don't even really know what I'm trying to say here, but it felt very disrespectful. Incredibly disrespectful. If you don't see why it's disrespectful, why this person comes across to you while it's... why it's bad then don't expect you to put up with it yeah if you should if you they should see why it's disrespectful and they should
otherwise you're not just the person for me you know can i can i make an argument for like what could make it okay yeah just just for what i did by the way like obviously i didn't completely go out of my way to do this but i know that the guy you're on about definitely didn't do anything like this but i have actively either communicated slash met up with my friend's partner and not even like gone out of my way to be like
oh by the way we're cool like because that would be weird if i did that but just being nice enough and warming enough and not acting like weird or different around my friend to give him that sense of yo i'm just a normal bloke that doesn't give a shit.
like that's where i'm at like you know that's your relationship i ain't gonna get involved in any way this is my mate like that's it yeah so if there's that level of it is communication at the end of the day and also communication between the partners of what's going on and what the relationship's like and i would argue that yeah if there is an overall problem then
you know you've got to make a decision at that point of who you keep around but just out of your sort of perspective of this as well tills do you think you know if it let's say you had a really close guy friend if if they suddenly had a girlfriend would you be a little bit more
cautious of only hanging out with them in certain contexts that are a little bit less intimate or would you just kind of be like well this is my mate i'm just going to keep hanging out with them how i always used to hang out with them like what what would you do probably just Be more cautious, but probably try and rather than just hang out with him, hang out with her as well. Yeah, so be more inclusive, basically. Unless I really don't like her.
Yeah, which is fair enough. But again, that becomes a little bit tricky. But then I wouldn't try and be secretive about it. Okay. I don't know.
i think that's that's that's where it always starts going south is when there's one person going well not even going but just either giving a lack of information or you know being slightly sketchy about it that's where it goes south if everything's laid out on the table which by the way i always say to my friends to make sure everything is laid out on the table like if we are you know going out somewhere or
to be fair she never like stays over the night here really unless it's desperate which there was like one occasion but i put her in here and then went to my own bed like so you know um but yeah no it just it is just communication that i think that's the bottom line that's how everyone can avoid this problem and and not be but then there are dodgy people it's such a tricky one isn't it people are going to act up and that's the thing you've sort of got to just deal with that
as it comes i think and and it's a shitty thing to have to say because realistic i mean i i'm not going to go into any sort of detail but with my friends i've had to deal with a similar situation that sort of erupted lack of communication utter nightmare and it's been really tricky to deal with but you know dealt with it got through it figured out the solution and that's it we move on as people and sometimes happens unfortunately it would be ideal if it didn't
is my takeaway from it but I mean the frustrating thing is for me right now like there's so much more I feel like I want to and could say but I'm also the first person to never want to like throw anyone under the bus
Do you know what I mean? Like I wouldn't want to come away from this thinking that I'd painted someone out to be someone who they're not when realistically it is a series of... miscommunications and misunderstandings and also just not listening to your partner i think that that's the key thing is like when you when you're committed to someone in such a way no matter what
the disagreement is the end goal always has to be making each other or keeping each other happy and when that becomes um uh tainted by other needs or wants that aren't really that important it's like well then this relationship clearly isn't that important to you and at that point you do actually start having to assess how much does this person really care about me? And that's not to then say to give ultimatums when something isn't going your way, but more just to kind of go...
You know, at what point do I just draw the line and go, no, this is actually just a string of disrespect that I really shouldn't have to keep talking to you about, especially when I will never deal with anything with anything other than.
understanding and compassion and you know just kindness like like being not going in with full guns blazing anger like you're a this and you're a that and blah blah it just it that never gets anyone anywhere and i i can come i can confidently say that I always did everything as delicately as I could and tried to understand the full situation before I went in.
¶ Cheating or Not: Relationship Scenarios
And, you know, like a wrecking ball, basically. I've got a little game, cheating or not. Yay! He's going to name off some things. Thank God. Dig us out of his hole. He's going down a dark hole. I saw it coming. Okay. Speaking with an ex on a regular basis. Oh, that's cheating, I think. Cheating. If you were friends with them before...
On a regular. I would argue, right, you can check in with an old ex. You can do that, yeah. Seriously. On a regular, I would say is a problem. If they were friends for like five years... and they dated for like a year and decided it didn't work out.
And then they were still friends after. Yeah, I've seen those situations. I just think it can get a little bit sketchy when you then start seeing other people. If it's more than me, then yeah, you cross the line. It's because you were with that person and there's always that temptation to do that.
the same thing again. That's my worry, is that ultimately, if you're able to do it once. If you're still, no, but if it's like you were friends, tried to date, and then decide you're better as friends, then I would not have a worry. I kind of get that. I do get that. But again, it's that feeling of, you know, if you were able to go there in the first place.
what's stopping that from happening again when you knew it didn't work the first time i know but sometimes people change and people develop and mature and whatever else and then suddenly you know you've still got that person circulating in your life meanwhile you're trying to develop a new relationship with a new person who does deserve that time of day and and all that and yet that person's being made to feel like this is what i'm saying that's why it shouldn't be on a regular
I'm saying like a catch up every so often. I suppose. So cheating or not? No, not. Not cheating. I think it is. On a regular. On a regular is cheating. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. And then Harvey says cheating. Okay. What did you say, Dob? I'm just the messenger here. Well played. Because if I said... or if i said not cheating then it's a draw and then this is a boring game yeah so we've collectively agreed that regularly is majority says that it's cheating hell yeah uh dating apps
being on one yeah of course well it depends obviously on a dating no if you're in a relationship you end that you end that profile yeah yeah yeah that's that's where i was going okay fine that one was on that one that one is okay flirting with someone at the bar But no further than that. Some people just have flirty personalities. That is the problem. A lot of people are very out there. If you know that your partner is not very flirty.
maybe with you I guess and then they're flirting with someone else then yeah that's cheating I just think like if I had a partner it would be one of the first things I'd bring up anyway and that kind of kills the vibe of flirting so it's like
i don't know i'm not saying it's inherently cheating i just think it's a bit wrong it's the closest thing to it especially if you're if you're humoring the idea you know it depends what kind because if you're treating flirty as just being like overly um i don't know warm and friendly
like that type of flirting is sort of like yeah fine but if you're saying like sexual things or like you know that type of stuff to another person yes that is cheating yeah because a lot of this stuff is like there's so much room for yeah the situation to play a part. That's all right. We'll try not to pick them apart. We'll try and give straight answers. Okay. We've got one here. Lying about seeing a person.
Well, there might be some... Even if you say you're saying, okay, I'm going to go see my mate that you know I trust, but I'm actually going to see another guy that nothing's happening with, but I'm just going with him. And you just think you're less likely to get their approval on it. Yeah. It's so tricky that because...
It's a white lie, isn't it? It depends. And I do want to pick this one apart, mainly because if you're with a partner who for some reason, and sometimes it isn't your fault that your partner doesn't trust you. Sometimes it's because they've got... past baggage or whatever it might be and something that you can't control and you're like i want to see this person for x y and z reason there's no romantic involvement there's no intimacy no anything like that but
you know that you're probably not going to get the approval from your partner that is a tricky one because i still think regardless lying to your partner is wrong anyway but it really does depend on whether or not you think it's fair that you're being stopped from seeing that person people are given ridiculously tricky last minute decisions on a daily basis and i think it's so harsh
to treat a decision like that as life or death when realistically people are just trying to live their lives and i know that there's so much that does need to go into a relationship and does need to happen to make sure that relationship thrives but if you've got someone holding you back from doing the things that you want to do now of course you should keep in mind that those things should be respectful and safe and not detrimental towards your relationship but
if that relationship is holding you back i would argue either you shouldn't be in that relationship or you should actually just be able to go ahead and do the things you want to do and if there's a problem they leave you because realistically why should you
be held accountable like you say to their baggage when it's like but you also know you're an okay person you've gotten into that relationship so you should want to help them through that as well yeah my quick fix would just be figure out a way that your partner can come with you or something i don't know sometimes again that can get a bit messy but what do you think i was just thinking like if you're i was trying to think how to word it like if your girl west friend
said to her partner, like, oh, I'm going to see Alice or something. And then actually came here. Like, because he brought it up. She wouldn't do that, though. she'd say i'm sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry go on i'm just using it as an example cool it's an example max carry on with the example carry on with the example jesus carry on with the example say like that he'd said to her that it was
Sort of starting to upset him that she was only seeing you more than him. Yeah. And then she just said that she was going to her and then came to you. Would you not say that that was like, I don't know. I don't really know where I was going with that. I can't respond to that. Would you say that was I don't know? No, I don't know really. I lost my train of thought. That's okay. I'm just also struggling, I'm afraid. No, because you said whatever you said and then I was just gone.
I lost it. I just think honesty is the best form of respect. Because if you do it once, I'm like, why are you lying about that? What else are you lying about? It opens the world of lies. I can't deal with people who lie. And even when people lie about something like... that you just don't need to lie about. Like, I don't know. I can't think of a good example, but sometimes when people lie about something and it's like, what did that lie get you?
why like what did that achieve for you and now it's like what else you learn about okay so here's one that's a bit more topical considering we spoke about it uh visiting a strip club
¶ Strip Clubs and Double Standards
I'm not in a relationship. I did not want to do that anyway. If you really didn't want to, you wouldn't have done it. Guys, I can't. I was just there for the vibes, right? And I was happy to stand outside of it. You should have had a t-shirt that said, just here for the vibes. You know what I'm like with money. And I... feel horrifically bad if someone spends money and it's on me as well because they made the point of saying, I've paid for you. And I went, aye.
Guess I'm going in then. Okay, so just, is it, you're in a relationship? It is, of course, if you're in a relationship. Did free will go out the window then? Did what, sorry? Free will. free will slightly went out the window and i was like you know what i'll just sit through this and enjoy it with my mates um i've literally i can show you a photo that was taken on me in the club if you would like yeah and it it
It just exclaims that I did not want to be there. Would you like to see said photo? I don't need to show the... I think it is cheating. You're in a relationship and you go into a strip club. Is it cheating? It's hard. Well... I'm just supporting the boys. That's what's going down. Do you really think that guy wants to be in the strip club right now? Do you really think that guy wants to be in the strip club right now? Well, he's asleep. Exactly. I'm fucking sleeping in the strip club.
Cory because he was just next to me. I was like, right I'm just gonna rest but because I didn't want to touch the seats with my head So I popped my head on her shoulder. Back to you. What did you just say? The only reason it would be acceptable is just supporting the boys. What?
I don't know. Sometimes you've got to go on a stag do, haven't you? If I was in a relationship and my partner found out that I'd gone to a strip club, I'd fully expect to be, not that I ever would, but I'd fully expect to be battered for that. And rightly so. Girls, like for boys, yeah, but I feel like there's not really many like male ones. What I will say. What about Magic Mike? I was literally about to say that. There is this weird sort of, and it's not.
It's not true for all girls, obviously. But there is this sort of like, oh, but Magic Mike's fine. When realistically, it's basically the same thing. I would argue Magic Mike's worse. You're paying more money. They actually do way more extreme things on stage in front of everyone. Have you been? no i've heard thank you and seen on social media to be fair um but but genuinely they they will like do the stuff that
you know, typically normal strip clubs would do, but it's guys to women that they picked up. And a lot of the time, those women are in relationships and a lot of women get done for it as well, to be fair. The girls are always like, I'd let that man rip my clothes off right in front of everyone.
¶ Episode Wrap-up & Relationship Advice
they always just like anyway let's move on it's such an interesting debate and obviously we could sit here and talk about it forever but ultimately cheating is obviously wrong um and i hope that at least you know if if nothing else someone learns something from this conversation because focus on communication and honesty Good and dandy, whatever you want to call it. Relationship advice from...
I'm like queuing up outside my house. Yeah, absolutely. I'm queuing them up outside of Dobby's house. I'm the one that's killing them. He can't get anywhere near him. Anyway. He's all mine. He's all mine. Tilly, what's trending? Yeah, what's trending, Tills? Okay, that's fine. I've got something.
bluey ride at alton towers or i'm gonna get be first in line yes i'm so excited there's a bluey ride it's just been finished being built i love bluey yeah and i will admit that it's a good tv show the funny thing was was when the
planning permission and all that was submitted all that people saw was that it was just this one loop and so then when they started building it they were like haha just kidding it's actually loads of like little loops and shit and it's actually it looks really cool so i'm excited to go and probably try it because even though it's in cbb's land
¶ Trending Topics & Time Travel
I think adults can go on it so that's well you'd hope so a lot of kids have to go on with adults apparently the youngest age that can go on that ride is two years old or so i've heard okay you'll still have to be a certain height obviously which is unlikely that a lot of two-year-olds will be that height but some probably will be imagine like i don't know disney just specifically creates a ride for like newborns or some shit you're just like just been born
I'm on that ride. Yeah, exactly. Just send them around on something. It's got to be done. That'd be quite funny. Disney, new pitch. Nothing particularly is actually trending at the moment. Social media has been a little bit lame, but I also think everyone's really really mourning the Australian law I think people are mourning Australia There are so many things that are changing about social media right now that I could imagine most people are almost as stressed as we are though
not everyone just got robbed so fuck you um but yeah i can imagine that everyone is sort of stressing looking at it going well what on earth do i do to adapt to all these changes there is one thing but i think i think i talked about this before but now i can't remember know the oh my gosh what's her name you know we were both listening to a tiktok earlier yeah and it's our larson that's it and how she gets people up on stage and now that dance has become a really big trend yes yeah
huge yeah thanks for coming so i'm just gonna move on i'm just gonna move on to the comment shout out uh because we are actually at time anyway but um we've got to for anyone who doesn't know we do a comment shout out every single week for uh whether we've got
whether or not you've got a question or something that you want to say about the podcast. So if you want to shout out in the next episode, make sure you leave a comment on this one. Now, the first one is from Hayes and Layla who says, I love you guys' little crash outs on these episodes. It's so funny to watch. Love the pod so much. Makes my week. So thanks to you guys. And then the next one is...
from day we who says still can't believe i'm going to see you guys in melbourne so that's going to be fun Hooray! Can't wait to see you there. Anyway, I have a question for everyone. If you could choose to live in a different time era, e.g. the 80s, the 90s, whatever, which year would you choose and why? I suppose there has to be one that's happened, doesn't it? Shout out to Dewi.
I was saying to my friend, genuinely, I was saying this to my friend earlier. I was going to say the 1940s. I was saying to my friend earlier. That is just not. Sorry, go on. Hey, it's Brooklyn Adams and I'm partnering with Abercrombie to tell you about the newest drop from their active brand, Your Personal Best.
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¶ Time Travel Preferences & Outro
So I don't know if you could tell, but I was saying to my friend earlier. Were you? That I would have liked to have been a teenager in like the 2000s. Okay. Because it was just such a better like... atmosphere no you're probably right y2k vibes like i don't know it's just like i really like the obviously our style and the way we like makeup and hair is done now and i'm like i'm not a massive fan of that but like i just feel like a
It would just be nicer. I think multiple reasons. Social media wasn't really a thing. There was a couple of things floating about but people weren't active on it. The memes were actually funny.
I think also different cultures were actually still different. Everything is now so visible to everyone via social media that culture has just merged all into one. And it's interesting to watch because it means everything's like... the best version of itself that it can be but at the same time it almost leaves no room for um uniqueness and like you know
this this country's like this this country's like this obviously there's still so much cultural difference between other countries and that will probably always remain to a certain degree but like with things like you know how people do their makeup or how people dress or whatever even in the way that people make content
Yeah, everything. So, I mean, if I had to pick a time period to live in just out of sheer interest, I'd probably, I would probably go for like the 80s. I feel like the 80s was like a really... interesting time period both for music but also for i'm just like so jealous of anyone who was a teenager in like the 2000s to 2000 and
18. 40s was of interest to me. How far back are we allowed to go? Did he specify? I would have gone straight to like zero because I want to meet Jesus, you know? Yeah. See what's up. I'm not sure that statement is going to carry very well. I want to go back to zero so I can meet Jesus or something. Isn't that when he was...
Just like they wrote it in the Bible, Dobby. I love that you're going there. If he's going over there, checking out and coming back and going, so here's what's really happening. I want to know. I do want to know. I'm absolutely with you. I get that choice.
Being born or being around in the year zero just sounds like a vibe, you know? Well, anyway, thank you so much for that question. There's no year zero. Technically. Did we not want to dissect my answer? No. What was your answer? How is mine any worse? Too late, man. Too late. The joke's late. I didn't get it. It's when the war was. I thought that, but I didn't get the funny thing. I don't want to see what happens in a war. Why wouldn't you? I want to see what happens in a year zero, you know?
That's more reasonable. Why wouldn't you want to see what happens in the 2000s? Because there's pictures. I didn't say where I'd want to be in the world. Well, yeah, I know, but still, there's not many places that were great. Yeah, but I'd probably just be here. see what this house was like in the war. This was not a great place to be, I don't think. Inexistent, I think is the word we're looking for. We're not far from London. I think this would have just been a field.
Probably. Well, yes. Yeah, you're right. It absolutely would have been. It was. We know it was. This was a field before. Everything was a field. Anyway, we've been here way too long. Thank you all so much for watching. Please make sure you like and subscribe. And if you want to come and see us live, we are doing a bunch of shows across the UK and Ireland and Australia. Make sure you check the link in the description for tickets. Yeah, it's crazy. And now all we've got time for is Tilly's moment.
Freestyle rap. It is time to say goodbye and you should go. subscribe subscribe okay i'm not gonna let her do anymore because she nearly told everyone to go die so i know that was where you were going i could feel it in my lungs what i was gonna say was really cringe actually so i had to hold myself back fair enough thanks all for We'll see you guys next time. Bye.
