Taming Anxiety Series - Episode 4: Welcome to the final episode in our Taming Anxiety Series! Today's guest, Leslie Booker – who goes by "Booker" – is one of America’s leading dharma teachers. She began sharing the practice with vulnerable populations back in 2005 and is a graduate of three different training programs at Spirit Rock, including their four-year Retreat Teacher Training Program. In this conversation, Booker will make the case that one of the most important, even life-saving, tools ...
Jun 21, 2021•1 hr 10 min•Ep. 358
Taming Anxiety Series - Episode 3: As we move into summer and more and more vaccines go into arms, your town or city (or state or country) may soon be opening back up, if it hasn’t already. Some of us are ecstatic. A lot of us are anxious. (And by the way, those are not mutually exclusive. It’s totally possible to be both.) If the thought of large crowds or even small dinner parties makes your palms sweat, don’t worry. You’re not alone. (And if this was true for you even before the pandemic, you...
Jun 18, 2021•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 357
Taming Anxiety Series - Episode 2: Anxiety is very common -- but also commonly misunderstood. So today we’re doing a show that you might think of as: Everything You Wanted to Know About Anxiety (But Were Afraid to Ask). This is the second episode in a four-part series we’re calling “Taming Anxiety.” (By the way, if you missed the first episode, with pop-star/Broadway star/sitcom-star Sara Bareilles, I strongly recommend checking that out.) Today, though, we are diving into the science of anxiety...
Jun 16, 2021•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 356
Taming Anxiety Series - Episode 1: Today is a big day here on the podcast, both because we have a fantastic new episode, and because this episode is actually kicking off a series we have been wanting to produce for a long time, called “Taming Anxiety.” Anxiety is a massive issue in our society. Even before the pandemic, it was on the rise. Now, the situation is even worse. Chances are it has afflicted you or someone you love at some point, on some level: maybe you’ve received an actual diagnosis...
Jun 14, 2021•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 355
Anyone with a passing familiarity with Buddhism will know that “delusion” is rarely, if ever, mentioned in a positive way. In fact, the Buddha included delusion (aka: confusion about the way things really are) on his list of “the three poisons.” The whole point of meditation, per the Buddha, is to uproot delusion -- along with greed and hatred. Only then can you be enlightened. My guest today is here to valiantly make the case that delusion -- or self-deception -- has an upside. Many upsides, in...
Jun 09, 2021•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 354
One of the more surprising lessons I’ve learned as an ambitious person is that perhaps the best recipe for success is... keeping your ego in check. For a long time, I subconsciously believed that you needed to be unremittingly selfish to “make it.” But after life delivered me repeated beat-downs, I finally got the message: sometimes what’s best for me is to focus on greater good -- on the team. It’s enlightened self-interest. (For the record, I am not perfect at this.) My guest today has also le...
Jun 07, 2021•55 min•Ep. 353
In this episode from the excellent podcast Meditative Story, recorded a couple of years ago, Dan shares a candid look at his attempts to connect more with his son, Alexander, on their first father-son trip. Meditative Story combines human stories with meditation prompts embedded into the storylines — all surrounded by breathtaking music. You can learn more about it here: https://meditativestory.com/, and listen here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1472106563.
Jun 04, 2021•31 min
Covid appears to have brought on a spike in burnout, especially among women, millions of whom have exited the workplace since the pandemic began. So what is burnout, exactly? How do you know if you qualify? How do you fix it? And can meditation help? That’s what we’re tackling today with Leah Weiss, who despite being a longtime meditator herself, has experienced burnout firsthand. Leah is a researcher and author. She was a founding faculty member of the Compassion Institute at Stanford Universit...
Jun 02, 2021•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 352
These are not hospitable times for the mental skill of patience. Instant gratification has never been more thoroughly scaled. You can order food, taxis, and shampoo from your phone. Streaming services autoplay the next episode of whatever show you’re binging. You can ask Siri or Alexa for the weather, the latest sports scores, or the dating history of Paul Rudd. And on a deeper level, of course, global tumult is trying our patience -- with the pandemic, political polarization, climate disruption...
May 31, 2021•48 min•Ep. 351
Many of us know that meditation can confer benefits such as self-awareness, calm, and compassion, but what about courage? My guest today says, yes. Meditation can boost your courage quotient. And she will talk about exactly how. Her name is Stacy McClendon. She is a teacher at the Common Ground Meditation Center in Minneapolis. She also has a background in social work. This is the second episode in our weeklong series marking the one year anniversary of the murder of George Floyd. Stacy has been...
May 26, 2021•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 350
There’s a meditation pitfall that’s pretty easy to fall into. In fact, I’ve fallen into it many times. It’s this idea, which we can hold consciously or subconsciously, that meditation is a solo endeavor. “I’m doing it to reduce my stress, or boost my focus, or... make myself ten percent happier.” All of that is fine. It’s actually great. But in my experience, the deeper you go into this thing, the more you see that the self is less stable and more porous than you previously imagined. And you als...
May 24, 2021•1 hr 13 min•Ep. 349
Living as we do in an era that has been called the info blitzkrieg, staying focused can be extremely difficult for many of us. This can be true when we’re working and trying to stay on task. It can also be true in meditation, when we might find our minds flitting all over the place. My guest today is an Olympic-level concentrator and she has tons of tips for staying focused. We also talk about one of my favorite meditation subjects: the altered states of consciousness called “the jhanas” that ar...
May 19, 2021•1 hr 12 min•Ep. 348
We’ve got a provocative but deeply practical episode today. All of us have people in our lives — whether it be our personal lives, our professional lives, or even just people we see on TV — with whom we disagree. So how can we coexist, or even reach a state of mutual understanding, with these people? It’s not an overstatement to say that your personal happiness, as well as the future of the planet, may rest in part in our collective ability to hone these skills. My guest today has done this work...
May 17, 2021•57 min•Ep. 347
Often on the show, we bring on incredibly accomplished meditation practitioners or influential researchers who have deep things to teach us, based on their personal experience or professional pursuits. And while many of these people talk openly about their personal deficiencies, they are nonetheless speaking to us from the mountaintop, as it were. Today we are doing something entirely different. Over the years, we’ve had many requests to bring on “normal people.” That’s what you’re getting today...
May 12, 2021•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 346
To state the blazingly obvious, creating healthy habits can be infernally difficult. But why? And what are the best strategies for getting around this? My guest today has spent nearly two decades researching these questions. Her name is Katy Milkman. She is a behavioral scientist and professor at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania. She hosts a podcast called Choiceology and has written a new book called, How to Change. In this conversation, we talk about why willpower is such a...
May 10, 2021•1 hr 12 min•Ep. 345
When somebody wrongs you, what is the wise way to handle your anger? Is forgiveness possible? What about friendliness? My guest today has a lot of thoughts about how to handle anger and how to respond to people who mean you harm. It might surprise you to hear from a Buddhist teacher who actually isn’t utterly disparaging of anger. In fact, she is proud (somewhat facetiously) of having been called “the original Angry Asian Buddhist.” Her name is Mushim Patricia Ikeda, and she is my kind of Buddhi...
May 05, 2021•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 344
If you meditate (or do yoga, for that matter), you may have been taught by a Westerner, but you owe a gigantic debt of gratitude to the giants and geniuses in Asia who developed these practices. This fact can be overlooked or downplayed -- intentionally or otherwise -- by Western practitioners, including, sometimes, me. However, in the midst of a spike of anti-Asian violence, now seems like a very good time to learn more about where these practices came from, and why many Asian-American Buddhist...
May 03, 2021•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 343
The idea of networking can be fraught. For some people, it might, at times, seem either icky or pathetic to deliberately try to make friends, either in a personal or professional context -- especially since so many of us may be feeling a bit socially awkward anyway, after months of Covid restrictions. However, my guest today will argue that there are profound health benefits to building positive relationships, and she has advice about how to actually do it, based on neuroscience and psychology. ...
Apr 28, 2021•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 342
One of our primary missions on this show is to rescue vital ideas that have lapsed into cliches. There are so many important concepts out there that many of us might be tempted to dismiss because they are encrusted with cultural baggage or have been reduced to potentially annoying or sappy slogans. So, for example, we’ve talked a lot on this podcast about things like: hope, gratitude, and “listening to your body.” All of which can sound like the type of empty bromide that your spin instructor ye...
Apr 26, 2021•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 341
Today we’re talking to a renowned psychologist who has come up with five strategies for cultivating hope. Dr. Jacqueline Mattis is a clinical psychologist from Rutgers University, where she is also a Dean of Faculty. As you will hear, she did not start her career wanting to study hope. She started out studying spirituality and religiosity, specifically doing lots of field work and interviews in African American and AfriCaribbean urban communities. She wanted to know why people living under high-...
Apr 21, 2021•1 hr 10 min•Ep. 340
Buddhism can get a bad rap as being hopelessly pessimistic -- in no small measure because one of the Buddha’s first principal pronouncements was, “Life is suffering.” But if you listen to the rest of his spiel, you will hear that the Buddha acknowledges that life can be hard, but then goes on to say that we can make it better. He then spells out a bunch of practical techniques for doing so, which makes Buddhism essentially hopeful. We’re now in week two of our two-week series on hope, where we’v...
Apr 19, 2021•50 min•Ep. 339
As you may know, we are in the midst of a two-week series on hope – a concept we are trying to rescue from the realm of rote cliche and empty bromides. Our belief is that hope, when properly understood and practiced, is not baseless optimism or naivete, but a powerful skill. Today’s guest, Sebene Selassie, has earned her capacity to hope the hard way, surviving multiple rounds of advanced cancer. She is also the author of an excellent book called You Belong, and is one of the most popular teache...
Apr 14, 2021•57 min•Ep. 338
Spring is here. Vaccines are entering arms. But for many of us, hope can feel slippery and fleeting. Even with the pandemic seeming to abate, there's still a lot of uncertainty and suffering. That’s why, starting today, we’re launching a special two-week series on hope: what it is, what it isn’t, and how and why to cultivate it. The word “hope” might feel vague, or gauzy–or even, given the current state of the world, misguided. And if you’re using the commonly understood definition of hope, that...
Apr 12, 2021•52 min•Ep. 337
To inject a little sunshine, perspective, and wisdom, we thought it might make sense to repost one of our favorite conversations of the last year. This is a straight up meat-and-potatoes meditation talk from the one and only Joseph Goldstein. In this chat, we explore three profoundly useful meditation strategies: mindfulness of thinking, awareness of rushing (a deeply ingrained habit for many of us), and the genuine insight that can emerge from everyday activities. For the uninitiated, Joseph is...
Apr 07, 2021•56 min
Today’s guest is at the forefront of understanding human emotions: what they are, why humans evolved to have them, how they’re different from feelings, and what science says about how to manage them (rather than get yanked around by them all the time). Dr. Lisa Feldman-Barrett is a University Distinguished Professor of Psychology at Northeastern University, with appointments at Harvard Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital. She’s written several books, including How Emotions are Made...
Apr 05, 2021•1 hr 13 min•Ep. 336
The great meditation teacher Ram Dass once said, “If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.” My guest today comes with tools to help you keep your cool when interacting with family -- or anyone else. We’re going to talk about a kind of meditation practice known as “relational dharma,” or “insight dialogue.” It’s a way of taking meditation off the cushion and into the crucible of conversation. My guest is Bart van Melik, who teaches veterans and children in juvenile deten...
Mar 31, 2021•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 335
People in the mindfulness meditation world often note that what we’re teaching is not a breathing exercise; the goal is to just feel the breath as it naturally occurs (if you’ve chosen the breath as the thing you want to focus on). However -- and this is something we haven’t spent much time exploring on the show -- there is a ton of evidence to suggest that actual breathing exercises can also have powerful benefits, physiologically and psychologically. That’s one of the things we’re going to tal...
Mar 29, 2021•57 min•Ep. 334
Too often, the process of looking at your biases can be presented like eating your vegetables. But one of the most fascinating and rewarding things I have attempted to do in recent years is to take a good, hard look at my own prejudices and conditioning, especially as a white man. I still screw up all the time. However, one thing that I think is often underplayed is that doing this work can be deeply enjoyable–and can also pay profound dividends. One of my most important role models here has bee...
Mar 24, 2021•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 333
There is a powerful scene in a novel called Lincoln In the Bardo, where President Abraham Lincoln has come to the cemetery where his young son, Willie, is soon to be buried. Willie had passed away at the White House where he had gotten sick. Lincoln is so distraught that he goes to the graveyard to get one last glimpse at his boy’s dead body. As the President is leaving, and in the grips of perhaps the worst psychic pain available to any human, he has an insight. His suffering, he realizes, come...
Mar 22, 2021•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 332
Today we’re diving into a concept that is simultaneously one of the oldest contemplative cliches and one of the most profound head scratchers — oneness. Can *you* be one with everything if *you* don’t really exist? And, even if we manage to grok this idea, what are the practical ramifications? Actually, this is just one of the many riddles and paradoxes we’ll be exploring today. My guest is Roshi Norma Wong. She was recommended to us by frequent guest and friend of TPH, The Reverend angel Kyodo ...
Mar 17, 2021•58 min•Ep. 331
