¶ Becoming an Influential Coach Through Insight
Welcome to One Insight . My name is Rich Litvin . I grew up in London and I now live in LA , and this is a podcast for extraordinary top performers and their coaches . You see , I've coached some of the most successful and talented people on the planet . I can see what most people cannot see and I dare to say what most people wouldn't dare to say .
And what I know about success is that on the other side of it , it can be incredibly lonely . You can feel more of an imposter the more successful you become , and when you're the most interesting person in the room , you're actually in the wrong room .
Clients who are more successful , more intelligent and wealthier than you need your support , more than they know and more than you can imagine . I coach around insight . Life looks one way , something happens and the world looks different and your entire world changes .
It can happen in an instant , and this podcast is called One Insight because a single insight can change everything . Hi , welcome to a new season of the podcast . For years , I've taught coaches how to build a word of mouth business . It's the prosperous coach approach . Sell the experience of coaching , not the idea of coaching .
Create so much value for people when you spend time with them . They don't have to ask should I sign up for coaching ? They ask how can I not have more of this ? That's the prosperous coach approach . Now there's another level of coach , called an influential coach . An influential coach is a thought leader .
They share intellectual property , ip tools , distinctions , scorecards , they write newsletters , they have a podcast , they share videos and they create a body of work that stands online for years after they've created it . It that's when you become a thought leader and people start knocking on your door .
And in this season , I'm going to work with a whole range of coaches on drawing out their IP , their intellectual property , to show how they and then you can become a thought leader . So people start knocking on your door . You're about to see and hear me working with Cindy . Cindy's got a background in the military .
She was also a nurse at a very high level and now a coach and a consultant to very successful leaders , and we're trying to draw out the IP to describe who she is , what she does . I mean , how do we describe this thing called coaching ?
We sit down , we talk and your life changes , but underneath that , there's something about what you do that's so unique and distinct that no one else can do that and that's what I draw out from Cindy today a way to articulate who she is , with three circles on a napkin she could describe to anybody at any time . It's very fun to do .
It's very powerful to see the impact on her . Enjoy this one . Hey , cindy , I just asked are you okay with me provoking your thinking ? And you said yes , of course . Double checking , sure .
Of course yes , please .
Let's play . What would be really valuable if you could get something really remarkable out of this conversation . What would it be ? What would you ?
leave with Well , I'd really love to leave with something around the methodology that I have created for my clients , the way that I coach , the process I take them through . If I could have something that I can , a tool or something that I can use to really drive it home , help them see the path that they're on , help me see the path that they're on too .
Okay , cool . And what would that do for you that you don't already have ?
Oh , that's a great question . I feel like something I've been wanting to have more of in my business is structure and , when I'm working with my clients , having more awareness around where we are in the process and where we need to go next .
It's like on any map you go to in the mall there's a little red dot that says you are here . Yes , you know well , I want to go to that store , I want to go over here . So , knowing those two things , you can do all sorts of things .
If you only know one of them , like I'm here but I don't know where I want to go , I want to get here but I haven't got a clear , present awareness of where I am , nothing works . So you need that tension between here's where I am , here's where I want to go .
So , I feel that , and what you want is some kind of support along the way to know how are we getting there ? Now let me check in with you , because what I know about you is your background , both in the military and your background in nursing , and then as a professor of nursing , that you bring two elements in . How would I describe it ?
A combination of flow and strategy .
Would you have a better way of describing that I ?
love that flow and strategy or tenderness and strength Nice . Tenderness and strength Nice yeah . So it's like yin and yang right . They're both needed , they're both valuable . Not everyone brings both of them . Some people are the strategic coaches and consultants and some are the flow ones who bring a lot of tenderness . You can bring them both .
In fact , what you told me recently is when you were in nursing , you were in the ward where women were delivering babies , and sometimes it was life or death . You were the person who was called in when things looked at their potentially worst . Is that correct ?
Well , I was the nurse that they would call in when a woman wanted to have a natural birth no medications . So I was the go-to for that .
Yes , so there you go . There's a man describing it at his worst , at his best too , but the potential for extreme pain .
Yes , yes .
So I imagine you being able to bring your sense of truth and tenderness flow and strategy was part of that . Letting them know look , here's where you are , here's where you need to go . You're only this much dilated right now . It might feel painful , got a way to go yet , but also the love and support , tenderness and strategy flow it's in there .
It's what you've always done , who you've always been right absolutely , yeah , yeah .
And when you say that , I can think of times where I've had to be super tender and loving and then times where I really have to be in their face and like reminding them of what they're capable of and who they are and why they're here , what they're doing , pulling them back into their power .
Nice . So already we're articulating what you do as a coach . What I do is something I've done my entire career . I bring a blend of tenderness and truth . I bring a blend of flow and strategy . At times I can be extremely loving , but I'm also unafraid to look you in the eyes and tell you to your face what everyone else is afraid to tell you .
Yes , yeah , I love it .
Good thing that's all recorded , because that begins to describe what you do the reason I wanted to dive into that , to check it out , because it sounded like what you wanted was structure . Here's where my clients are , here's the next step , the next step , the next step .
And my sense was you're not only about the next step , the next step , the next step , because this is the flow and structure . There's a blend in between the two . If I work with you on creating some real structure , actually at some point you'd throw it out because it's not all of and that's exactly right .
There are definitely times where that's not the focus at all , and then there are times that we bring it back and it's a dance between the two things .
Nice . Well , a dance might be a good metaphor for what you're creating . Are you a dancer ? Oh , you are a dancer , I've seen you dance .
You have yeah .
You know about dancing . You can be like the grandpa who gets on the floor and just moves his body in uncoordinated ways and has fun . There's a place for that . They're there at every single wedding . But if you want to do the kind of dancing that you do , do you call it line dancing ? Is that what you call it ?
Yeah , it was a line dancer .
Yeah , so when I see you doing that kind of dancing , I know you have learned steps , because without those steps it's not that particular dance , it's a different kind of dance or it's not a dance at all .
So there is some structure , but once you've got the structure down , that allows space for flow , because if you have a great partner or great people around you , you can shift . In the moment there's flow as well as structure . The two work together . Dancing is a great metaphor , right , it is .
Yeah , that's beautiful . It feels so good too . That's exactly what I do , what I feel like I do with my clients .
Cool . That's why I'm trying to draw out the language that will be right for you , so you can talk to them about look , this is like a dance , and you can ask them do you dance ? Because if you do , you will get this . If you don't dance but you're an athlete or a musician , you might get it .
You'll find ways to get the metaphor to land in different ways for different people , but it will start with that there's a dance at the center of what I do and what I teach . So sometimes we're learning steps and sometimes we're learning energetically .
I don't know if you've ever done tango , but Sally , who's in 4PC , was telling me recently that tango starts when you're sitting around the corner of the room , the edges of the room , and you're making eye contact with a man or a woman and deciding whether or not to say yes to their invitation to dance .
There's something really powerful in that the energetics of understanding what it means to dance with somebody . So there's an energetic element of what you do as well as a structural element of what you do , and I want to put that both up front here so you don't get too much into the structure and then it's no longer feeling like Cindy .
Yes , yeah , yeah , yeah , thank you for that , because I feel like I've been trying to lean a little bit harder into the structure and maybe I was feeling like I'm too flowy , which was starting to feel like spaghetti on the wall , you know . Just it didn't feel like there was structure .
so I want to find let me ask you about that yeah , because . Because I don't like structure . If you're my one-on-one client , you show up and almost every day I say the same question when do you want to go today ?
Now , it doesn't mean I'm going to take them where they say they want to go , and sometimes I have something in mind that I want to do with them , and sometimes I know where they've been on the journey and I'm going to go somewhere because of that . But the days when I used to go well , they're here , they want to get here .
Let's take them on a little step there , let's do the next one , the next one , the next one . I'm not interested in that anymore . It's not how I choose to coach . I'm not the right coach for everybody , but I know how I love to coach and I'm the right coach for my clients .
And that's probably why you you're my coach . So what do you like about how I work with you ? I love that . I love that it's where we're going to . We're going to end up somewhere , but there isn't a plan . There isn't . We're not following a ABCD .
Yeah , you've been at sessions in 4PC where I've had members of 4PC lead a session on meditation based on goddesses , and we've had a session in 4PC where someone has led us on a trip down to the water's edge to do stuff immersed in water .
Bring up all our fears about being underwater when there were alligators around , like you never know what's going to come . That's the flow that I love too .
Yeah , it's exciting , it's intentional flow .
Yeah , and that's why I ask why you love it , because it gives me clues about what you love for yourself .
Yes , yeah , I want that in my business , but yeah , but I also know that you always have intention behind what we're doing . So I know that there's things that are happening behind the scenes or somewhere that we're a place you have intended for us to go . Maybe we end up there , maybe it's something different , but there's always an intention behind it .
I feel like , yeah , I'm , I'm attracted to that yeah , there's always context .
The context in 4pc is the community you're in . Is that there are four elements to 4pc . There's range , which is your ability to learn new ideas , new tools , new concepts . There's capacity Range is breadth . Capacity is depth your ability to handle challenging situations , everything from complex negotiation to leadership .
Your ability to be vulnerable when it's needed , to be strong when not . That's depth . And then there's emotional mastery . How do you handle it when your nervous system has been triggered , when someone says something to you , when something happens , how do you handle those moments where it feels like life or death ? And underneath all of that is spiritual grounding .
What does it take for you to have a sense of purpose , to be committed to something bigger than you ? And that's the way I work .
Those are the four different elements of context that I'm bringing in whenever I'm working with somebody , and I've got a sense that you want something like that , rather than a structure where A we're now at , c we're going to get it to F next week and G the week after .
¶ Three Elements of Coaching Success
Yes , yes , maybe pillars I don't know if that's what you're calling them , but something like that .
Yes , not so much structure , but Well , we know two of the pillars already right . Two of the pillars are flow and structure . Since it works for you , it's what you're going to work with your clients on , so always works well to either have three or four pillars . Three gives balance . Anything on two legs can fall over .
As soon as you've got a three-legged stool , it has balance .
Yeah .
It can be powerful too . So if we were going to draw a venn diagram , that means three overlapping circles and we had flow in one and structure in the other to capture the essence of who you are and what you do , what would need to be in the , the next circle , to have it be you have you feel like , oh my god , that nails it . That's who I am .
I feel delusive . I think there's something for me in you know , if it's the energy , the energetics , the spirituality .
Tell me more about that .
Well , I use a lot of somatics in my coaching or energy practices , meditation , really feeling into the body , learning how to develop a deep sense of self-trust so here's what I hear is that there are three elements to how you work with people flow , structure and energy structure .
where are you now ? Where do you want to go ? What support you need along the way ? Flow , because not everybody works like that . Structure is useful , but even an airplane going from LAX to Heathrow is never on course all the time . It's always going off course .
Being able to flow and , behind all of that , being able to manage your energy is far more important than being able to manage your time , being aware of what's going on your body . Those three elements sound like that's the heart of what you do it is yeah , absolutely let me ask you three questions now .
if you have an awareness of structure and awareness of flow , but you don't pay any attention to energy , how your energy is being used , how it's being used up , where are you if you have flow and structure but no awareness of energy ?
Burnout depletion .
Right . What about if you have a lot of awareness of energy and you're always in flow , but you don't have any structure in your life ?
Aimlessness .
Nice ? And what if you have structure and awareness of energy but not the ability to flow and be in the moment ?
Oh , rigidity , yes .
Beautiful . Now you've got a really cool little tool that you can use . People say what do you do ? You say , grab a piece of paper , give me that napkin , and you draw three circles and you say there are three things that I found that you need to live an extraordinary life . I have a really successful business . First is structure .
You need to know where you are . You need to know where you're going . You need to need some tools and support systems along the way . That's structure . The second is flow , because life isn't clean . Shit happens all the time . You never know what's going to happen . Can you handle it ? Be able to be in flow ? And the third is energy .
Are you aware of your energy ? What's draining you ? What enlivens you ? What fills you with energy ? What takes it away ? If you have only flow and structure and not awareness of energy , you're burned out . If you have an awareness of your energy and you're able to be in flow but with no structure at all , you're aimless , drifting in the wind .
And if you've got a lot of structure and your awareness of your energy but you don't know how to be in flow , you're absolutely rigid . And then you say to people where are you ?
Sounds so . Yeah , that makes it feel so simple . It's a great way to have those conversations , yeah .
It is simple , but it's the power of simplicity , because each of those has real depth to them .
Yeah , they do for sure .
And so you could probably draw another Venn diagram within . What are the three elements of structure ? What are the three elements of flow ? Three elements of energy ? Maybe there's a two by two matrix for those that comes later .
At the highest level , when people work with you , three things happen they get more structure in their life so they can relax , they know where they are and they know where they're going . They have the ability to flow in the moment so they can actually handle high level , complex , stressful situations with grace , and they have an awareness of their energy .
So , no matter what's happening life , business , all the above and kids they don't burn out .
Wow , rich , yeah , yeah , Thank you . It feels so good . It's so nice to be able to put it on a just , in a concrete way that makes it simple to talk about .
One of the things is , our biggest gifts are often the areas that we struggle the most , so what I did is put a little bit of structure to your flow . And it's not always easy to do that . And now you can see it . You can envisage these three circles energy , flow and structure . It feels so simple , it feels good in your body . I drew it out of you .
I couldn't have made this stuff up , it would have been my own thing , this is your words , this is your IP , your intellectual property , and it will feel really good for the right people . They'll go . Oh my god , that's what I need more of . And you can have a little , a little questionnaire or a scorecard , three or four questions on each of those elements .
So people say , how , what ? How do I work with you , cindy ? Hang on a second . take this little assessment I've got an assessment for you to take and then it will tell you know , know , actually you're a four out of 10 on structure , three out of 10 on energy and a seven out of 10 on flow .
All right , we've got to start working on structure because you've got flow nailed , but without structure and energetics you're going to really struggle . So we're going to focus .
Yeah , that feels really good . I just hired a new assistant who is phenomenal and I feel like she can really help me to create that . That feels really within reach and doable .
Let me play , because I like playing with AI these days . Let's see what it can do for us . Can you help me ? I'm working with Cindy today . She's an incredible high achiever who is very successful both in the nursing field eventually a professor of nursing and previously she was in the US Army .
She's a coach to high-level professionals and if you drew a Venn diagram of the ways that she works , there are three elements to what she does New paragraph . The first is structure . The second is flow . The third is energy . If you have a lot of structure and a lot of flow in your life , but no awareness of energy , you get burned out .
New line If you have an awareness of flow , it could be in the moment . You're also aware of energy , but you have no structure to your life . You're actually aimless . And if you have an awareness of structure , you know where you are , where you want to go , you can manage your own energy , but you cannot be in flow .
You have this absolute rigidity to your life . New paragraph Take these concepts and help create a name for this tool to describe the work that Cindy does . I'll pause there . Let's see what it creates .
Let me think about this systematically to create a meaningful name that captures these three vital elements of Cindy's work structure , flow and energy and they're interconnected in nature , given her impressive background in nursing military service and coaching , plus the sophisticated way these elements interact , we might try . And then it throws a bunch of names out .
I'm never attached to whether I like the name or not . Sometimes I don't always know how I want to describe something , but I know what I don't like . So when it shares a name with me I'm like oh , no , no , no . So see what happens . The first one it says Triforce Coaching . Are you like that ? I thought it was awful .
I was like , oh , it feels like something out of Star Wars , but it doesn't have to be .
It's not what I like anymore .
Then the Harmonix method with an X for Harmonix , harmonious integration , flex flow framework , dynamic equilibrium coaching . Dynamic equilibrium coaching interesting , it gives you some kind of gravitas , right yeah um , the sfe approach , structure , flow and energy , the flow state framework , interesting .
So these are little ideas , pebbles to throw into the pond to see where do the ripples go . What do you like ? What you don't like , you take the one the what any of those land for you the most ? Which one do you like the most ? The harmonic , what did ? it say h-a-r-m-o-n-i-x harmonics method harmonics method .
That's interesting . I also like the dynamic .
Equilibrium .
Equilibrium yeah .
So let's play . I'll go a level deeper . I'm with Cindy now and she liked the dynamic equilibrium coaching or dynamic equilibrium method as well as harmonics method as well as harmonics method which do you think is best and has more power ? For people who don't know her or meet her for the first time , I always play with it . I go a level deeper .
I ask it questions . Let me analyze the first two options .
¶ Creating Dynamic Alignment for Elite Leaders
Dynamic equilibrium method or coaching Sounds sophisticated and professional . Has gravitas and authority . Suggests scientific and academic credibility . May appeal strongly to high-level professionals . The cons are it could feel slightly clinical or academic . Might require explanation . Equilibrium can be a mouthful .
Harmonic's method more immediately accessible , memorable , modern and fresh . Implies natural balance , easier to say . The X gives it a contemporary edge . The cons might initially seem less academic and serious . What ? What do you think ?
hmm , I agree with the . The first one , the dynamic equilibrium . Equilibrium being a lot to say and then it does feel , it can feel a little bit . It almost feels like it takes the , the flow , and energy out of it . Systematic dynamic let's play a little bit more .
But but how does harmonics land for you ? I think it's a little bit too . It's trying too hard . It feels like that would be the website for someone in silicon valley harmonicscom . You know it feels like a music coach or something . Yeah , exactly , yeah . So let me play with it a little bit more .
We like the idea of the dynamic equilibrium method , but equilibrium does sound too hard to say . Is there something else that could fit in there ? Question mark let's see what it says . I like the word dynamic . That feels good .
Dynamic means emotion , right dynamics , balance method , dynamic flow method , dynamic flow , dynamic synergy , dynamic harmony , dynamic integration , dynamic integration how's that ? Dynamic alignment , dynamic fusion .
Dynamic alignment Was that one of them ? That doesn't sound bad .
It is a lot about alignment , a lot of the work I do . Well , what have you started saying ? What I do is called dynamic alignment . Dynamic alignment involves three elements structure , flow and energy . I think it's very good . It captures it . Alignment is like getting things in line , getting things in order . Dynamic is being able to be in the moment .
It captures flow , energy and structure .
Yeah , dynamic structure yeah , dynamic alignment yeah , I like it . I think I could keep playing with it .
Yeah , this is just a start right . Yeah , this feels really good . What do you do ? It's called dynamic alignment . You know you trademark that . It becomes yours . It might be the title of a book at some point Dynamic Alignment how to well , let's play . Cindy loves the idea .
Dynamic alignment how would you turn this into a powerful book title that would be enrolling for the kind of high-level leaders she's working with as a coach ? Dynamic alignment the elite leader's guide to sustainable peak performance . Dynamic alignment how top leaders master structure flow and energy . Dynamic alignment the missing link between success and sustainability .
That one feels relevant . I can actually read that one . I would read that book .
There you go . That's how you know it's good . The last one it says is Dynamic Alignment the Three Forces of Sustainable Excellence .
Ooh , the three forces of sustainable excellence . Yes , which would allude to flow exactly .
These are the flow structure and energy . These are your three forces . So yeah , actually it says this title works well because forces connects with their military background . Sustainable excellence speaks to those high achievers . It promises mastery without burnout . It hints at a three-part framework . It's sophisticated without being academic .
It suggests both power and precision , and power and precision are who you are Dynamic alignment the three forces of sustainable excellence . So there you go . This is the core thing about playing with creating IP in real time . It's good to bounce it off somebody , which is why we can play together like this .
And if you don't have somebody with you , an AI tool , I find , is a great thinking partner . It's not always great , but it doesn't have to be . It definitely shows me what I don't want and every once in a while , it comes up with something really cool . You go , I'm running with this .
Yeah , yeah , I've been using it a lot lately for that . It's just a like a thinking partner , right , yeah ?
Well , what's the biggest takeaway from everything today , Cindy ?
Well , this Venn diagram . I'm really excited to be able to have that , those three words , and then this dynamic alignment that really lands for me , which I really feel like that is a really great way to sum up the work that I do , or introduce somebody to it for the first time . Yeah , yeah .
So my challenge to you , if I was going to give you a challenge , would be simply start speaking about this . When people say , what do you do ? All you say is , well , it's called dynamic alignment . And then you go quiet and they say what do you mean ? Well , and then you give a little bit of a story Before you dive into giving the Venn diagram .
What do you mean ? Well , I got a background in the military and then in nursing , eventually a professor of nursing and now a coach and a consultant . So the work that I do I've done for my entire life . I know what's needed to bring both precision and power . And grab that napkin . Let me show you the three circles , a Venn diagram .
Here's flow , here's structure , here's energy . And now you start to describe what you're doing .
Very powerful . Yeah , I have an opportunity to do that tomorrow , so I'll practice .
All right , let me know how it goes .
Okay , awesome Thanks , cindy . Thank you Rich . Appreciate it tomorrow till I'll practice all right let me know how it goes , okay , thanks , thank you rich , appreciate it so we'll pause the recording there .
That feels great . I think that's really cool . I'll send you the thing from chat gpt afterwards okay , thanks , give a .
Did you draw a picture of that ?
yes , yeah , I'll take a . I mean , it's just I scribbled it , I didn't have my other camera , but I'll take a photo of it for you , okay , yeah , I didn't take notes , yeah and we'll get have my other camera , but I'll take a photo of it for you , okay ?
Yeah , I didn't take notes yeah , and we'll get the recording to you , but I'll take a photo of this yay , thank you yeah , this feels really good on you . This feels really good . Did you ever use the stuff I helped you to write about ? We called it velvet steel back then , the first time around yeah , I have used it and it's very similar .
I think it it is . It is similar .
There's no coincidence , because every time I talk to you , I'm pulling out who you are . So velvet steel .
¶ Discovering Dynamic Alignment in Coaching
What's that as dynamic alignment is ? It's . It's the steel , is the precision and the velvet is the flow and energy . So it's still there . The velvet steel might be a title you let go of , it might not be the thing that landed for you , but we're getting closer to what you do every single time yeah , the dynamic alignment feels .
Yeah , it feels better , I think , than the velvet steel . You too . Yeah , I like it , it feels really good .
Yeah , thank you for most of human history . It wasn't called coaching , it was called leadership , and it's what I love to do to coach people , to lead people and to mess with people's thinking . If you'd like more of this , or if you'd like to learn more about our community of extraordinary top performers , go to to richlittmancom . Forward slash one insight .