S23EP10: Want a new type of client? This will help...

Welcome to One Insight. My name is Rich Litvin. I grew up in London and I now live in LA. And this is a podcast for extraordinary top performers and their coaches. You see, I've coached some of the most successful and talented people on the planet. I can see what most people cannot see, and I dare to say what most people wouldn't dare to say.

And what I know about success is that on the other side of it, it can be incredibly lonely. You can feel more of an imposter the more successful you become. And when you're the most interesting person in the room, You're actually in the wrong room. Clients who are more successful, more intelligent, and wealthier than you need your support more than they know and more than you can imagine. I coach around Instagram. Life looks one way, something happens and the world looks different and you're in

world changes. It can happen in an instant. And this podcast is called One Insight because a single insight can change everything. The secret to my success is over 15 years guiding some of the most extraordinary coaches on the planet to the highest levels of success. In this season of the podcast, you're going to be able to listen to me and watch me coaching some of the extraordinary coaches in my community who have attended the RLI, the Rich Litvin Intensive.

You hear more about that as I work with them. It's one of the secrets behind the magic that we do. So you want to up-level your clients, you want a new category of clients, you want clients who play at a higher level than any of your clients until now. The most powerful tool to do that is a research project. Mash.

works with entrepreneurs in the world of startups and he wants to coach venture capitalists. Sayoko works with um women, particularly um people who've got an immigrant background and people who've been in the military. She wants to now work with high net worth individuals. Well, I give them both a tool to use and I follow it all the way down by asking them lots of questions about these clients they want to work with.

As you listen to this podcast, imagine I'm asking you the very same questions that I'm asking these two. As I coach them, I'm coaching you. This is a fun conversation because Over the years, a number of times I've used a research project to elevate the work I've done, to elevate the clients I work with. Enjoy. hi mash hi sayoka I returned. Low rich.

So we just spent some time hanging out in San Santa Fe. We've been immersed in Counterintuitive thinking about client creation and what I call deep coaching. Mash, what was one big takeaway from that experience together? I think that the biggest one is that I needed to challenge uh both my existing clients and potential clients more than I have.

Yeah. It's so fun when you can start to really up the game on how you challenge your clients. That I mean, I I I've written an article about the fact that your clients need to say I hate you more often. Um, as long as they're doing with a little bit of a smile on their face, it means you're really challenging them. So I appreciate you that you you're taking that one on. How about you, Sayoko? What's one insight you're taking away from the time we spent together? Okay.

There are two. One on the client generation part, going slow is the fastest way to achieve my goal. And on the coaching side, I was just mesmerized by how much attention you pay when you're coaching somebody. And I'm just listening, I said, oh my God. The energy that you have toward that client in front of you was mesmerizing.

Thank you so much for noticing. I sometimes i because this is m my bread and butter, this is what I do all day. I love to coach. And I forget until it was reflected back to me how much people really enjoy watching me coach. 'cause of what they can learn from when they're watching me coach. And I think there's something different about watching me on a Zoom call to being in a room with me and experiencing me. Cause I can I'm holding space on stage for the person I'm coaching.

I'm aware of what's going on in the room. I'm reading the room. I'm reading the energy. I'm teaching what I'm doing at the same time. So I'm tracking on about five different levels. And I think people really enjoy watching that and and it's uh r it's a almost like a surprise to me every time how much people appreciate that. Yeah, I hear that in your voice. So let's let's play today. What's up and how can I help? Mash, what's going on?

Well, I would say there's a couple of things going on. Now, I remember being introduced to this is I'll help you find any clients. So I did come with two potential clients that we can talk about, or we can talk about my No, no, let's let's let's go there. I love to. This is the game I call I can get you any client and I love it. However, I'm still gonna slow you down. What do you say, Seyoko? The far the best way to go fast is to go slow.

Coaches often think in plurals when they should think in singular. Let me help you get one client. If there's time we can talk about both, but let's do it one at a time. Right. And then we're looking at a specific person or just a target market. Well, I am I'm gonna mess with your thinking whatever you bring to me. So Okay, fair enough. So I am would like to add a venture capitalist to my

Clientele. And it would either be what I would describe as a emerging manager. So someone who has is relatively new. uh to to having their own venture capital firm or a principal, someone who is very high up but not a partner who's gunning for partner. Tell me what you know about the what do you know about the VC world? Boy, where where do I start? I've I've I I would say I'm always still learning.

But I've been working with startups for a while, so I've seen them get funded. I've I've read and taken a course called Venture Deals, which explains sort of everything you would ever want to know about venture capital, um, what motivates them. you know, in terms of ha satisfying their clientele, the limited partners, as well as how they manage uh their portfolio companies. So on on paper reasonably well, but I would say it's a developing state of getting to understand them well.

Okay, so I'm gonna I'm gonna provoke you by what I'm about to say. What I heard you say is not very well. You understand some of the theory about behind being an a an investor at that level, but in regard to personal relationships, not many personal connections to people in the VC world. That's yeah, it's it's it's definitely under development. Yeah. Present myself that way. That hey, I'm still

I I've I you know I I have first conversations with a minimum of 25 startups every month. I've probably had first conversations with at most 40 venture capitalists.

So you have so you have some connections in that world. This is where I think what would be most valuable for you is a research project. And a research project is when you want to up level the kind of clientele you work with or move into a new niche or a new field of different type of clientele. You could write a book, you can write a white paper, but you're doing some research because then you can reach out to a a VC who really you really admire and say, hey.

Mark Cuban, or whoever you're you're planning to reach out to, you know, someone heading a big firm, hey, hey Naval. I'm writing a white paper about the three ways that Venture capital is going to shift over the next decade. I spend thousands of hours working with entrepreneurs who get VC funding, startup founders, and I know there's a big shift on its way in the next decade.

I would love to spend just ten minutes with you. I've got three questions I want to ask. And I promise that once the white paper is complete, I'll send it to you. Would you have ten minutes for me to ask you some questions? That's very close to what I'm doing. I I book half an hour, but and I booked an hour. The the discussion. And what discussion?'Cause I'm talking about a research project where So I so I haven't been that specific. I say I've been working with startups at scale up.

I my understanding of the investor's perspective is is is lighter than I'd like it to be. Okay, so that that means the attention is on you. Hey, I'm a beginner relatively in this world. Can you help me? What I'm s the shift of dynamic I'm saying is Hey, you're someone I admire. I understand your world. I'm writing a white paper on it. So you're positioning yourself as an expert already.

You're positioning I know I gave this idea about, you know, the the shift over the next decade in venture capital investing and so on. You know, you'll find your own angle on it. But I'm now going to you as a peer and saying, Hey. friend and colleague, even though we don't know each other, I'd love to to not pick your brains, not have you help me. But I'm writing a white paper that could be of value to both you and your entrepreneurs and the wider entrepreneurial in general.

That's a much more targeted approach than I've been taking. And and do you feel the energetics of it? That's the real key to what I'm talking about. It is not down here looking up, hey, important person with some knowledge that I don't yet have. It's, hey peer, I'm doing this research.

However, I've done my research on you. These are the two things I admire about what you said. I've just read the the quote about you in the New York Times, the uh the blog article you've just written, and I'd love to have a conversation. Now you're showing up as a peer.

Of course, once you've done that, and and start with the people you know. Start with the people because at some point you can reach out to people, you know, like Naval Ravicant and so on, but you know, those are the people everybody knows.

You want to leverage each conversation. So you start with someone you know, someone who's funding some of the companies that you work with, and say, or someone you've spoken to in the past. Because then the next person you say, hey, I was just interviewing so and so. And then in five conversations you uh time you say, hey, I've just interviewed five of the most fascinating venture venture capitalists I know. I know you play a really big game. I'd love to interview you.

You start the ball starts to roll quite quickly. Yeah. Yeah, you're being much more targeted and specific than I've been to to date. Yeah. Now it cannot be a bait and switch. Hãy subscribe cho kênh La La School Để không bỏ lỡ những video hấp dẫn Cannot be, oh, by the way, thanks for that, you know, those answers to those questions. By the way, I'm gonna move into coaching venture capitalists. Wanna have a conversation that will feel really disingenuous.

Now, if they say to you, Why are you doing this? Well, two reasons. One, I work with startup founders and so getting the uh the got the ideas that VCs that are cutting edge are thinking about right now, the next ten years is really valuable for them. But also I'm a mindset coach. And what I've realized is that whilst VCs spend a lot of money nowadays to get coaches for their entrepreneurs, not enough of them hire coaches for themselves.

And I'm fascinated by what would happen if the VCs had coaches, let alone the entrepreneurs. For the podcast listeners, I'm nodding. I love that you articulated that. So that was an insight moment. Like Matt's nodding, that's kind of sinking in for him. Because at some point some of your those people are going to go, that's interesting. I haven't thought about that. Or, ooh, I've been thinking about getting a coach for myself.

Oh, you want to have a conversation? Like it comes more naturally at that point. You can't pitch it immediately the interview. Right. No, that there's there there's a creation aspect in the connection. However, as you do these interviews, I would definitely begin to ask them some some questions about behind the scenes.

Hey, what's one thing that VCs struggle with the most that you see that if you were going to advise someone who is relatively new to venture capital, that they could do to skip the struggles that you went through? Start to ask questions about their mindset so that at some point you've become an expert on how venture capitalists think. Yep. Okay. Sorry. No, I get it. I get it. YouTube viewers here.

Don't worry. I get it. That's how you think Mash and and things land and then you'll go off and take action on this. So let me give you some space. You you let that that kind of sink in. Sioko, did you get any insights from that as I was coaching Mash?

I was gonna ask you a question, but now I kind of got an answer to my question already. The research project is really intriguing to me. I was thinking about how am I gonna reach these people that I eventually want to reach out to. And it sounded like whatever I was thinking about was like sales pitch. And no, I can use this research because first of all, I want to know about them much in deeper way than I do currently.

And If I could just ask them to meet with me so that I can learn more from them. Now be careful because that language tells me is what I was playing with Mash on. Hey you, whoever you are, you know a lot more than me. Teach me. Who's got time? If you're a busy person, successful person.

I'm gonna give up my time to teach a stranger. Maybe if I'll do it if it's my nephew who wants to come into my field. Maybe I'll do it if it's my sister-in-law or an old friend, but some stranger, so you a white paper or a book.

You know, years ago, I started coaching men around dating. That was where I thought I've struggled struggled so much with that. I should have some ideas what not to do. Didn't last more than about five minutes, but more and more powerful women began to show up in my world. And so I c there came a moment when I said, I, and I was traveling a lot that time, I said, I'm traveling around the world to meet the Forbes 100 most powerful women and those on their way.

And that got very intriguing for people. And you hear the the space I create, Forbes 100 most powerful women. Well, that that's a particular dynamic based on who Forbes decides who they are, but also said, and those on their way. And I interviewed dozens and dozens of really successful and powerful women. I didn't come from a place of

Oh, you're more powerful than me. Can you teach me what you've got? Was hey, I'm studying this because these are my clients. I want to teach this stuff. And there's something about you that's very intriguing. And I would research them before I even reached out and say, hey, these are the two.

Two things I've seen you you speak about the most or I read your book, I read your company's uh report for the last three years. Here's what I notice about you. I'd love to speak to you, I'd love to ask you three questions. People love to talk about themselves, so it feels good. The attention's not on me.

Yeah. Well, I I have to correct my language, then I want to learn more about you. And these are the people I I know somewhat either through kids' school or church or in the neighborhood, so they're not. Absolute strangers. I have some tangential connections. Their lifestyles are very different from mine because simply because of their wealth size. So tell me about who's your dream client. Eventually I would like to reach out to height net worth philanthropists. And particularly women.

Currently, my clients are military veterans and retirees. And the reason I got to them is after I was certified as a coach I naturally gravitated toward immigrants because I am an immigrant in this country and we have to navigate the language, the culture, norms, expectation, all of that. One day when I woke up I heard this clear voice, serve the people who served you. so that you can enjoy freedom. And with that message, and I have to say I was reading your book and following your podcast.

I thought, I'm gonna just go out and knock on nonprofit organizations' doors and they serve military people. And I just said, I wanna coach your members. And I just... I like... handful of people and those are the people I currently coach mainly. Okay, so look, that's really fascinating to hear.

How shall I explain this? Uh I think it's it's like the path to success. Everybody wants a clear path to success, but it's never really clear when you're on it. You make one bumbling step after another. Who could have predicted what you'd be doing?

So I I love this. I've got I've got clients over the years, I've had many clients who are military veterans, former Navy SEALs, former Army Rangers. And to hear that you got into coaching that group of people because you wanted to serve, that's beautiful.

I also hear that, yeah, we often coach, you know, our our people, people like ourselves, our dream client is actually the person who looks back at us in the mirror. Are you familiar with a book by Amy Chewer? I just had to look it up, called The Triple Package. So Amy Amy Tua's book is called The Triple Package, How Three Unlikely Traits Explain the Rise and Fall of Cultural Groups in America. It's a really fascinating book about the immigrant experience and what that means and why

You know, we worry so much in the United States about oh not we, some people worry about immigrants. Actually any country that has immigrants, they have a really high level of success. They really help the country to fly. So that's a really unique mindset. So you could say, hey, I work with clients who have an immigrant mindset.

Some of them are immigrants, some of them are not, but an immigrant mindset means three things and you can decide what they are. Like a relentless determination you're going to be successful no matter what. an absolute determination to get to the highest level of education and personal growth.

So well, I I come from a family I'm an immigrant to the United States. I come from a family of immigrants to the United Kingdom. So it it's not hard for me to get there. And you can decide what the third one is for you. And and and those mindsets are not distinct.

To immigrants, but you can say, this is how I think. This is what's made me successful. So if you have that approach, you and I should have a conversation. Because whilst you're thinking, oh, high net worth individuals would be interesting to work with. I can promise you not all of them. Some of them will be a nightmare to work with. Just because people have a lot of money doesn't mean they're going to be easy to work with. In fact, some very wealthy people are a real hassle to work with.

But what you've got now is a filter. So you can say, hey. I work with people who have an immigrant mindset. You can say, it turns out that a lot of people in the military have an immigrant mindset. They are determined to succeed no matter what. They have an absolute determination to keep growing and learning forever. And if it turns out that some of those high net worth individuals have some of these mindsets that mean a lot to you, they're your people. Otherwise, they're not.

So what I'm drawing out from you right now is the psychographic, the mindset. The mindset of your dream clients, not the demographic. Yeah, that's what I was hearing from you when I made this sort of a switch. and decided to really serve military veterans for the time being, you know, as my focus because they are in transition. They are navigating military culture.

Now, civilian culture, the language is different, norm is different, expectations are different, mindset needs to be tweaked, and I just, I'm, I'm loving it. So here's what I've got. I've got the third one now. You tell me, this is what I see, and you say, okay. Love working with people who have what you call an immigrant mindset.

What that means is there's three ways of approaching life. Number one is a determination to be successful no matter what. You know there's going to be struggles and failures along the way, and you keep going, you are relentless. You never stop learning and growing. There never comes a time when you go, I've learned it all. I give up. You never stop learning and growing.

And number three, you come from service. You are always giving to mat to others no matter what. No matter how successful you are, no matter how much money you have, you are constantly giving to others. The reason I caught that last one, because I heard you say part of the reason you want to work with high net individuals, high net worth individuals, is because you want to look at the people who are giving back.

It's not everyone. You're not interested in working with someone, let's say, who's worked in the oil industry for 25 years, has an ultra high net worth, and all they want to do is learn how to make more money. What you're interested in is the kind of people who have a lot of money but still want to learn and grow, still want to give back, and still want to get more successful as time goes on because they can't help it, they're relentless. Exactly.

I wanted to know what legacy they wanted to create and what they wanted to do with their money. Yeah. Yeah, spot on. So now we've got this. This is this is the psychographic. This is the the three things that have to be present for you to have a dream client. Without all three of these, it's not really the person for you. So if you wanna have a research project, you wanna speak to some of these interesting people in your neighborhood, then

So I I wrote this down. I'm not sure if it's the right concept, but I I can see you saying, hey, I'm writing a white paper or I'm writing the draft of a book called Women Who Give. Now, there are three types of women. There are women who give because they they have no choice. It's the only way to s to to to get out of the the the struggles that they're in. Some people are in that place.

There are women who give because they were trained to give that way. Be a mother, not stop giving, taking care of others. And then there's another kind of woman who's had a lot of success in life. They've they've made a lot of money, they've built businesses, but they still don't stop giving. Maybe their kids are grown up even, but they now it becomes philanthropy.

And what I hear is you're interested in the third type of woman, the woman who's giving, not because she has to, not because she was trained to by society, but because she wants to. It's in her DNA. Amen. Now there's a title for a book, Women Who Give. There's a title for a research paper. Now you've got a really interesting conversation to start having with people.

And when people say, well, why do you do this? Well, I've discovered that one of the challenges for women who give is they don't often have trusted advisors around them. They don't often have someone who they can talk to. Is this the right place to give? Should you be giving here? A lot of people are trying to take. When you're a giver, others around you are trying to take.

And so it's really valuable I found to have a trusted advisor on your side when you're a woman who gives at that level. That's where I come in. Thank you. Cool. So Mash, that was another sound of an insight moment, not silence, but that thank you, Rich was like Soyoka's good. She's got what she needs, she'll go off and play and come back. Let me know how that goes. I mean, this is a long-term project now, but thinking have real fun with it. Say, okay, it was fun creating it with you.

Mash, where are you in this moment? So I'm looking at the different and I'm gonna have to say demographics right now, but behind the demographics, you're right, there's a psychographic. Yep. Um that I'm working uh reaching out to uh as as Eventually from that pool, there will be a select few who become clients. And so I'm taking the principles that you gave me.

So yeah, yeah, so look, you do have a a demographic. You want to work with people in venture capital. But you're not making this up. It's not like you you you've been in in university for the last decade studying and now you've got this dream of working with some group of people you don't know have never met. These are people you're around a lot. You spent time with them. You certainly spend a great deal of time with the people they serve and they help.

So there's nothing wrong with having a demographic in that place, in that in this instance. However, there'll also be a mindset behind that, because there'll be plenty of VCs who you'll go, ooh, no, not for me. I wouldn't want to coach them even if they paid me double what I charge. And there'll be others like oh my god, I gotta help that I really wanna work with that.

Yeah. Yeah. So applying the principles to startup leaders, applying those principles to to to the two types of venture capitalists that I was uh discussing earlier. And and so that's kind of turning the wheels around. And then your your coaching of Eco with women and you know, women interested in ph philanthropy, again, that that got the gears turning.

Great. This is what I want to do. I want to stimulate your thinking. Go off and do some stuff in the world. And then come back to me. How did it go? What happened? You know, you've got to do at least a dozen of these interviews. I remember I told you a story in the event, Mr. Beast, who's one of the most popular YouTubers on the planet.

Unless you're a parent, you've probably not heard of him, but if you are, you definitely know him. He says, I'll help you with your YouTube strategy, but you have to go and make a hundred videos first. And here's what happens. Most people never make a hundred videos. And the ones who do, they've learned enough they don't need his help.

So go out and put this into practice, what we talked about, then come back to me. And when we talk next, we can look at what did you learn? What do you need to tweak? You might have already shifted. Who knows what you'll have learned by the time we come back.

Yeah. Rich, can you take this um for both of us, I think, but certainly for me. Okay, now I've got the now I'm meeting with the person. Yep. And and they've agreed because I'm doing research, Seoko's doing some research. What needs to happen in that conversation? Well, you have to be genuinely curious about the person in front of you. So if let's stay with what Sioka was just talking about because it's more present for me in this moment. I've got three questions for you.

First book first one is based on the fact that I've seen these three qualities in very successful women leaders. One, they have this determination to succeed no matter what. Number two, they never stop learning and growing. And number three, they keep giving no matter how successful they are. Uh how does that feel to you? How true is that for you? Where did you learn that mindset? Was it from your parents? Did it come through experience? Was it just innate in your DNA as a person growing up?

Sayokin might ask about the immigrant mindset. Hey, I've noticed this is something as an immigrant myself, working with lots of people over the years who've been successful, who are immigrants initially. Is this something that that you you know uh that that was part of your mindset as an immigrant when you came to this country? So that's what I might do say, okay, for you, based on the questions you said. So Mash, how does that land as I uh share that with you?

Yeah, I think the how did you say it? Um, I've just been absorbing, so I don't remember exact words, but essentially this is what I'm seeing so far. What what do you say to that? How do you affect how is this affecting you? Yeah. I mean you just get it's coaching, right? You you don't have to be an interviewer. A great coach is a natural interviewer because you follow your natural curiosity.

you know, maybe write down three or four or five questions before you go in. So the first few times, but then you get to the person in front of you. One of my favorite questions is tell me your story. And people laugh, go, what do you mean? You go, well, from the beginning, where'd you grow up? Or where did your where was your mum born? That that really throws them because they're not expecting it. Where was your mum born?

What was her relationship to success and business and entrepreneurship? How about your dad? How about money? Did you struggle with money as a kid? Was money in abundance? What was this the attitudes of your grandparents to money and success and entrepreneurship?

And people will be really astounded that you are that curious about them. With a couple of questions like that, you could you could you'll take up your 10 or 15 minutes that you've planned and you can say, hey, listen, you are so fascinating. I would love To spend another 30 minutes with you. If if you have time now, that's great. But we can always plan it again in a week or two's time. Would you be up for that?

People love to talk about themselves. They don't often get a chance to do it. So I think you'd be surprised at how open people will become if you start with some of these questions. And then for you in particular, Mash, around this, you know, you you wanna work with people in venture capital. Well, they are used to supporting others.

So you're gonna have to throw in some questions around that, like where do you get that mindset that you're there for other people, you give to others, you serve others, you're taking care of others. Who does that for you? What do you do when you get stuck? Who who go who do you go to when life seems really bleak? Because it happens to all of us. Tell me about one of the darkest moments for you where you were still there for other people, but you were really struggling for yourself.

Now you're starting to get to these places where you all get insights into because then in three weeks' time, when a VC happens to be chatting to you at a party, says, What do you do? You say, Well, actually what I do is I work with people who Are supporting some of the most successful entrepreneurs on the planet. And what most people don't know about most venture capitalists is dot, dot, dot. And then the person in front of you is going to go, oh my God, I thought nobody knew that. Okay.

Beautiful. So I think we're there in this moment because you guys gotta go and do some work out in the world and come back to me. It should be fun, but but come back to me. Let me know how it goes. Good for now. Thank you, Rich. मैं प्लेश झाल झाल झाल It's what I love to do. Yeah. you'd like to learn more about It's been a little bit more.