S23EP03: Psychographics vs Demographics

Welcome to One Insight. My name is Rich Litvin. I grew up in London and I now live in LA. And this is a podcast for extraordinary top performers and their coaches. You see, I've coached some of the most successful and talented people on the planet. I can see what most people cannot see, and I dare to say what most people wouldn't dare to say.

And what I know about success is that on the other side of it, it can be incredibly lonely. You can feel more of an imposter the more successful you become. And when you're the most interesting person in the room, you're actually in the wrong room. Clients who are more successful, more intelligent and wealthier than you need your support more than they know and more than you can imagine. I coach around insight. Life looks one way. Something happens, and the world looks different.

It can happen in an instant. And this podcast is called One Insight because a single insight can change everything. Hi Mary. Hi David. Welcome to the podcast. Thanks for having us. Thank you very much. One of the reasons I've invited both of you on is that you're coming to our intensive in Santa Fe. Uh Mary, why are you coming? I I had to look back. You've done a ton of different programs with us, right? Well the f I've only been in your real world for a short time, but I got

Some really nice treats for Black Friday. I went onto your website to get one thing and I saw that I could have everything and I was like, oh So I got everything. And then I think a week later I heard about the deep dive in London and I was like, Oh, that's only an hour from me. I'm going to that as well. So I was only back from that and I was like, I am definitely going to everything this year. So I'm sorry, you're going to be sick of looking at me.

Uh-huh. Well, I love that. And and it's it's great to hear that you're coming back for more. What I've realized is you can get online for free. Ninety-nine percent probably of what I teach. But really the one percent that's missing is the bit that's the deep felt experience. And when you're enrolling a client, when you're coaching in a very powerful way, that's all that counts. So you can do all the reading you like. You can watch all my YouTube videos. There's a place for that.

But it's actually there's a reason why people like you come back for more and more and more. We've done ten years of these intensives and I've got some clients who haven't stopped coming ten years later. They're still coming to back to this one. So welcome. I'm glad you're here. In a minute we'll find out what I'm going to coach you on. David, you too. You've been in a most and up my world for a while now, right? Yes, I have. Started with transition excellence a while back.

Yeah, you and you did, I was looking here, you did the accelerator last year,$100,000 clients,$1 million, and now you're coming to Santa Fe. Absolutely. I had to meet Mary. I didn't know Mary was coming. So I had to go I had to go to Santa Fe to meet Mary. That'll be awesome.

So tell me, David, I'm going to play a game with you right now that I love to call I Can Get You Any Client. 続くましょう。 Any client. That's fascinating. I love it. I haven't I wasn't thinking this game. I actually did the research and was listening to some of the one insights and like, what are the questions you asked? Like, where do we want to go? But I like this one. This is a good one. One client.

Be the one client, you know. Just for fun, I'm just gonna pull one out of my, you know what? I'll say uh Andreessen. And and for a couple of reasons. One is he went to University of Illinois, which is where I went, but I I think he made an impact from a technology perspective and There's still part of me that has my technology piece in it that software is gonna save the world. And so his his venture fund, A, I think it's called A16Z, invests in a ton of venture funds.

And it'd be interesting to get in with a a PE or VC company because I I sell mostly to businesses and it'd be fun to be able to you know, have a message that resonates with him and then be able to go across dozens of businesses. It'd be like a a channel to get into many. Plus I respect what he's done and I I like him as a person. So it's important

to like the person that you're doing work with. He'd he'd probably be the one. And he's just up the street from you in Southern or in Northern California. So there Nice. For people who are listening, PE is private equity, VC is venture capital. And that's a world you know a little bit about, the business background you have. Mark Andreessen, founder, I think, of Andreessen Horowitz, is that right?

Yeah, with Ben Horowitz, the two of them together. But he's he was more famous for Netscape and selling that and you know when the internet was exploding than starting. So hugely well known, exponential entrepreneur, big thinker. Here's what I would like you to do while I'm talking to Mary. I'd like you to write down at least five qualities that you see in Mark that you admire the most. Okay?

Mary, while while David's doing that, I can get you any client. How would you like to play? Oh God, I was hoping you'd ask me a different question because I'm drawing a complete blank. Okay. Well let me slow it down because you can relax. I I don't need to be under any pressure. So I'm assuming that you keep coming back for more because you're building your business.

And so I can get you any client. It's a fun way to get someone into that conversation of what's next and how can I help? But we can ask that. What's next? What's next for you? What are you looking for in your business? What's next for me? Well, because because my the business that pays me is my fashion business, I'm still coaching for fun. Is that a problem?

It's it's not a problem. No. I would like to transition in time and give up the give up the fashion. I want to give that up in time. So I Yeah. The pace of it. I I want to be space and location free. I'll never be space and location free while I'm doing capsules. I'm just really bored with it. I've been doing it for 30 years now. I'm really bored with it. The coaching bug has bitten.

I really love doing that and I actually resent the time that I have to spend in my business because it takes me away from coaching. So you have what I like to call a quality problem. You uh have I I've spent a lot of time listening to highly successful people over the years, and I can articulate some of the voices in their head that when I say it out loud, some of them go, oh my God, I didn't know anybody else knew that.

What I hear you saying is something like this. My big mission that inspires so many other people no longer inspires me anymore. What I hear, oh, for anyone who's not who's listening, not watching, there was a big nod there from Mary. What I also hear you saying is. The fashion industry that I used to be so excited about right now. I really can't say this out loud, but I'm bored because I could do it with my eyes closed. Another big nod. If you're on a podcast, you may have to speak.

That is so accurate. Yeah, so accurate. So for those of you who are listening and watching, just notice what I did. I've spent a lot of time with My ideal clients, super successful people with a big track record of success behind them and a big dream ahead of them. So I know the kind of things they're thinking. So I'm not surprised when someone like Mary says that I can hear what's going on behind the scenes.

So if you're listening, start doing the research. What is your dream client thinking? Start speaking and to potential clients with that ear to what's going on in their mind that most people can't see. So for you, Mary, let me ask you this question. If you could find a way to keep eighty percent now, let me rephrase that. 20% of the fashion business, where you could just do the 20% of things that still inspire you enough, still excite you enough.

The twenty percent of things that bring in eighty percent of the revenue. What they be. But what I'm what I'm pointing at right now is called the eighty twenty rule. And eighty twenty rule is a really fascinating premise that often 80% of our results come from 20% of our input. 80% of our output comes 20% of our input. That rule can be applied in all sorts of areas of life, but in business it's fascinating.

And so if you could identify that tiny area, the 20% that makes 80% of the results, that could give you enough energy and inspiration, you got 30 years of sweat equity in this field. You don't have to go completely new to create a great life and a great business. And then it gives you some space for, hey, I've got to tell you, there's a fly on your head right now. It's just landed on you. Ha ha. Sorry. I'm causing so many distractions here this evening. I'm sorry.

Well, I often use those moments to say, hey, what's going on? What's about what is it about your energy or have that happen when it's probably never happened before? So interesting to to notice, right?

The the reason I asked this is building a coaching business Can be fun, can be energizing, can be lucrative. And one of the pieces that people struggle with the most if they're completely new is the client creation side. We love the coaching, there's the business of coaching. And I'm wondering, since you love the coaching so much, what if we made it really simple for you? What if you were only allowed to coach one client a year?

Well what that does, it takes the pressure off you of like, Oh my god, I've got tons and tons of clients because you're gonna find a way to keep generating some great revenue with the the world you've been in for a long time, not have to completely cut off that source of revenue. And it allows you also to create create a sense of scarcity. Hey, I don't work with just anybody. No, no, you've got to meet my bal for me to say yes to you, because I am highly selective.

I only work with one client a year. I might expand to two or three down the road, but right now there's only one spot. So you get to audition them in a very powerful way rather than, oh my God, I'm a new coach. The revenue source I used to have for years has now dried up. Where's the money going to come from? And that sense of anxiety that can come when you transition completely. How does that sound as I put that out to the world?

It sounds really good. Yeah. And it's it it speaks very much to the mindset that I've had around the people that I will even speak to. It's like and I used your it's it's either a hell yes or it's a hell no. I used that twice today and both people were back to me within ten minutes. Yeah. You know, and it's like I am not a bit attached to this. I can take it or leave it. So I re and I really love that. So yes, thank you.

I talk about this a lot. There there isn't a word in the English language to describe the opposite of needy. You know, in our book it's the Steve Chandler phrase, needy is creepy. We know that, we get it, we hear that phrase, we get it. We know what it's like when someone's trying to push something on us and we don't want it, or we feel it if we're trying to get someone to s buy one for something of ours. It it feels creepy.

But the opposite of that needlessness, it's not even really a word, but you're modeling it because you don't need a client right now. And you really can look them in the eyes and say to them, hey, if not a hell yes for you, don't say hell yes. It has to be a hell yes. And so it's a very powerful way of being and it's also very enrolling. It's very attractive. We are really drawn to people who don't need us.

Because we don't feel that very often. So it's a beautiful way for you to model as you build this business of yours. Hey, I've only got space for one, possibly two or three clients down the road, but one client right now. My suggestion for you is Don't look for clients who were like you twenty or thirty years ago. They're gonna show up, they're gonna want mentoring, you're gonna think, Oh my god, that would be easy. And you're gonna fill yourself up with lots of people who

You could give great value to. Do that once you've got your first two or three paid clients. Find a way to give value, give back. That's beautiful, that's mentoring. But have these one or two clients. Be people like you. People with an amazing track record behind them, a big business success. And either like you, they're ready for the next jump or they want to take it to the next level. Because you've done both and you can help them with that.

And there you can create some really powerful one, two, or three high performing high-fee clients. Λαφτάς! Thank you.

I'm gonna let that insight land and I'll come back to you, David. Hey, hey, what what do you get as these qualities of Mark that you're inspired by? It was interesting. I thought through it. I don't know him that well. You know, I see him from afar. I thought, who are other people potentially? Because may maybe I need to have it more personalized. But then I thought, okay, let's put on the business hat and think about it. So what I wrote down is

Just super creative as a problem solver. Just the way I've seen him, whether it's Netscape or some of the other companies he ran before, just by the people he's hired and partnered with, people are important to him in terms of running the business or businesses that he's doing.

Personally I'm biased because I I love the fact that software allows you to scale. If you have a a mission or a vision or something that you want to do software, you could take it to the thousands and millions as opposed to one by one. He helps many others. So, you know, just the VC firm A16Z is investing. Obviously, they're doing it for financial gain as well, but there's some you know pretty important.

potentially game changing businesses that they're funding. And then I love just the idea that the VC itself, which is the nature of VCs and PE firms, but it he built a platform that allows him to kind of expand the messaging that he's doing. So most of them would be at a business Admiration for lack of better terms. Because I don't know him personally.

Yeah. So it's a great insight. It's why when someone says to me, I want to work with somebody who's famous, if they don't know them, what I want to do is draw out these qualities. Now you don't actually know this. You sit down with him and you might discover one or two of these are not true. Right. You might discover they're all true, but actually a bit like dating, the chemistry is just not there and he's not for me.

But what we've discovered, and I'd be willing to bet that if I asked some of the people who you work with, Is David a super creative problem solver? Would they say yes? Yeah, it's definitely me. If they said if I said, Is David someone who people are really important to him, would they say yes? Yeah, they would laugh and say, No kidding. No?

If I said, is having a big impact important to David? Because I hear that's behind for markets using software to scale things, whilst you may have done some of that, it's a really about that can allow you to have a really big impact. Is that something they'd say is important to you? That's why I wrote the book. So same kind of thing to scale. The fourth one you said is helps many people. So would I be right that they would say, Oh my god, the more people David could help, the better.

Yeah. So you're telling me I'm looking in a mirror? Ha ha ha. We always are. We always are. And it's a good exercise to do because That's funny. I could bring someone else on well we can't see it. We can't see that ourselves, the power of coaching. Yeah. You know, I could bring someone else on here who admires him as well. And they give five different qualities.

Right. What they see in him is the reflection of themselves that they like about themselves that we can't see for ourselves. Right. So what you just drawn out is an articulation of the psychographic of your dream client. And this is very powerful because we've all got a demographic.

There are certain kind of business owners you love to work with, certain fields of business that you love to work with. But the truth is, if a nonprofit showed up and you were inspired by them and you like the person who's leading them and they liked your coaching, you'd probably be willing to do some work. Right? May not be your thing. So the demographic, we sometimes use it to create a niche. The more narrow the niche, the more we draw clients to us, but it's always made up. Right.

Psychographic is not made up. It's a reflection of who we are and what we love and what inspires us. And it's deep, deep down inside of us. Very powerful exercise for you to use when people say to you, Who do you work with? You can say, Well, I tend to work with business owners doing XYZ, but I can tell you about the five mindsets. Of these kind of business owners. And then you rattle these things off.

I love the psych you've always talked about the psychographic. I love that so much more than the demographic. I feel like demographics I get put into a spreadsheet and blah blah blah blah blah blah like psychographics much more from here. Now you get to say, okay.

I'd like to work with Mark Andreessen. I'll put it out there. I'll talk to people. Maybe somebody knows him and can connect us. But right now we don't even know each other. But what I'm really clear on is he is an example of the kind of leader I want to work with. And that's what we've got to talk about. So if I say to you in this moment, David

Is there a leader you know who you'd love to work with and are not currently working with and they are super creative at solving problems? People are really important to them. They want to make a massive impact. They want to help many, many people by put expanding their message out to the world. Who comes to mind? You know, the the other person that came to mind and he's local here is Bill Gates.

And and I would extend it because I think early in his career I didn't like the way Microsoft did business. And I think he shifted with the Gates Foundation and what he did and in particular He has a passion aligned with me with sustainability and he's writing he's making investments and writing books and really feeding sustainability, which is my personal passion. So if I had uh pivot and he falls into that.

Psychographic for sure. And he's done a lot of the same things, but it, but but he takes it a step further because I think the purpose is more closely aligned with my heart purpose.

Now, you just illustrated for me there's a deeper purpose in what you do personally and that's what you're looking for, mission driven leaders, right? Right. Now, are you saying that you think Bill needs a coach? No. I don't know. I've w how I don't know. I I mean So so again, same same story really as Mark Andriessen, we don't know. And even if I said, Oh, it funny you should say that, I happen to know him and he's free tomorrow, you want to come and have coffee with us?

You might sit down and discover actually on in person compared to on paper and in the press, he's not my cup of tea. He's not my thing. Yeah. So again, what we're doing is just getting clearer about your psychographic. Yeah, and my my lens, and I've said this when you've put me on the hot seat and other times is more

the business side. That's why Mark came into play because he has access to hundreds of other companies through the VC therm. So I was thinking not really coaching him, but more of the channel opportunities that he would create. Bill Gates. whether he needs a coach or not. That was more from the purpose and the heart based on the question. Again, who knows if he needs a coach, wants one, but he also has amazing connections that might be like you'd be ideal for other people as well.

So again, let me listen between your words. What I hear you saying is in addition to those five qualities, you want to work with a leader who's mission driven. Their their heart is on their sleeve, their business is about sense of purpose. Sick quality we've just discovered behind all that. What I've also heard is that you're hoping that if you meet Mark or you meet Bill, they're going to be an amazing source of referrals to you to great people.

And what I'm trying to do is slow you down in this moment and say, hey, you're closer to these people than you can imagine. Right. If Andreessen said, Hey, yeah, you can access the you know the 500 firms that we help, it'll be overwhelming to you. You're a one man shop. You don't need 500 referrals. It's just the next one. Right. Let's slow it down. Tell me, is there someone either a past client? or a present client, or someone you've been in conversation with.

Who you think, oh my God, yeah, I'd love to speak to them because they are mission-driven, super creative problem solvers, people are important to them, they want to have a big impact in the world. Who's the first one who comes to mind? Wow Simon Sinek Do you know Simon? I do not but I'm not sure. I'm gonna slow you down,'cause you keep going to strangers. Oh okay. Okay. Someone personally? said very clearly, I'll say it again Yeah. Someone you've worked with in the past, a past client.

Possibly a present client who you want to take into a bigger mission. Or maybe someone who's talked to you about coaching in the past, but hasn't yet signed up as a client. Who comes to mind if fits those qualities? Gosh, I'd have to think about that. Interesting. Uncomfortable with silence, even on a podcast. Feel free to think about that.

I've got a little Beethoven in the background that's, you know, soothing. So I'll I'll channel that. Someone so someone I have some type of connection with. Uh huh. I would say like the someone I just sent, actually I just sent a book to him is Bill Green. So we worked together in the past. I've talked to him about what we're doing. He's a leader at the organization he represents. I'd love to help Bill because I know he's a good human on planet Earth. Mm-hmm.

Sometimes it's much simpler than we think. You pick out your phone, you send a video text, hey Bill. I was just talking to a friend of mine, a colleague of mine, a coach of mine, however you want to say it, and he asked me about the top five qualities in the people I admire the most, the people I love to help the most. And it was really simple.

They're super creative problem solvers. People are important to them. They want to have a big impact in the world and they are mission-driven leaders. And then he said, who do you know like that? Who represents that more than anybody else? And you were the first person who comes to mind. Interesting. Yeah.

And that's what you do. You slow it down to one conversation at a time. We want to make it complex. We want to reach out to people we don't know. And there are people all around us. Say hey, how'd you like to jump on a call for ten minutes? You can say, hey, it's February. And in February, what I've discovered with my clients is that all the inspiration they had in January, as often, you know, 90% of it has fizzled away by February, because they're back in the grind of business.

And so I I put on a call for three different leaders in February. I've got three spots blocked out for three leaders who want to get reinvigorated and not find that slow grind wears them out by the summer, and hopefully after the summer they can gradually pull back. But be invigorated by February. I've got three spots available. Let me know if you'd like to have one of those spots. It'll be 30 minutes. I'm going to ask you five questions and I'm going to coach you.

How'd you like to jump on a call with? I like that. And you like doing it with a video call as opposed to So I tend to use, I grab my phone, I record a 20 to 30 second video. Yeah. Email, we've all got so many emails in our inbox, it's easy to miss them. Or we open it and think that's interesting, but we're out on a walk. So we think I'll get back later and we forget to. Or we think, oh my God, this is really interesting. I want to get back, but I want to think about it.

And by the time I've thought about it, seventy-three emails have come into my inbox. Right. Especially the kind of leaders you like to work with. So text is much better. And what's more personal than a simple typewritten text is me on a video. It can't be more than about thirty seconds because we we have lost our concentr concentration span. But everything I said could easily fit into thirty seconds. I love it. All right.

Growth. I had to get pulled by another colleague in the ecosystem to do videos on LinkedIn. So this will be another experiment. I like the experiment. I love that idea. Like make shit up and try it. That's gonna be my version of make shit up. So I'm in. Cool thing about a video on your phone is you pull out your phone and you can try it and you check it like, ah, that didn't work. And you try a few times. But don't try and make it too professional.

Hey buddy, I was thinking of you. Let me tell you why. I did this exercise with one of my coaches. I drew out these qualities and the leaders I admire the most. And you're the first person who came to mind. And I've got these three spots available. You want to jump on a call with me? And if you don't worry about it, they'll go. They always do. Cool. All right. I owe you. I'm gonna do it. I'll tell you some stories at the uh in Santa Fe.

I can't wait to hear. That's great. And slow it down as well. You know, do do one a week, do two a week. Sometimes people don't like, okay, I'm gonna go through my whole email list today and do 73 people. That's not personal. Personalize it and and make it really personal. You know, Google him.

Like, oh, his company's been in the press recently. Look up look at can you find his company reports? What else can you find? So it's like, hey, I saw this article you wrote online. Make it really personal. Yeah, I'm pretty good about that, but I've been doing it all email. I like the idea of twisting it into a thirty second or less video.

What do you get from that, Miri, as as you hear that work I'm doing? Frantically scribbling notes there. Send it to me because I was trying to Ha ha ha. No, it was really good. The one to two a week I like because I sent I sent an open invitation to my email list and I had like I don't know how many people who wanted to jump on a call, but they all just wanted to talk to me.

Like they didn't, you know, they didn't want coaching. I was like, oh, I need a filter for this. So this one to two a week sounds really good to me. It sounds manageable. It sounds quality. I really like that. And I have a list You also need that filter I mentioned earlier. We drew it out from David about these qualities, but for you it's at least What I said earlier, you are you have a track record of success behind you and you're looking for your next big thing.

'Cause it's exactly what you're doing, it's that transition. So that will filter out lots of people. Hey, no, I'm not for you. This is not what I I've only got three spots a year, so I can't do this to everybody. Slow it down. This is not a thing to the email list, one person at a time. I love Sasha. Well thank you both. The book i i it's I'll I'll wrap with this. I put this into the brook the book The Prosperous Coach Years Ago.

Think in singulars, not in plurals. We tend to think in plurals, especially this day and age where one click of a button, an email can go out to a thousand people, a video can go out to ten thousand people, you name it. Actually, it's one conversation at a time that changes everything. Somebody knowing that you are thinking about them, even if it turns out they're not meant to be a client of yours.

That lands. And if you describe the qualities of your dream client, When they're talking to their sister. And remember, you created value for me. Like Thank you so much. I will see you on Star of Fire. Thank you much. Great meeting you, Mary. You too. Thank you. It wasn't called coaching. Dot com