S22EP10: How to Make the Impossible Possible - Resist Average with Tommy Baker

Welcome to One Insight. My name is Rich Litvin. I grew up in London and I now live in LA. And this is a podcast for extraordinary top performers and their coaches. You see, I've coached some of the most successful and talented people on the planet. I can see what most people cannot see, and I dare to say what most people wouldn't dare to say. And what I know about success is that on the other side of it, it can be incredibly lonely. You can feel more of an imposter the more successful you.

And when you're the most interesting person in the room, you're actually in the wrong room. Clients who are more successful, more intelligent, Need your support more than they know and more than you can imagine. I coach around insight. Life looks one way, something happens, and the world looks different. Changes. It can happen in an instant. Yeah. And this podcast is called One Insight because a single insight can change everything. Average Academy Hearing stories and action.

designed to level up every area of your life. Your host. Baker. To another full length episode. I'm your host, Tommy Baker, and we are ready to rock today. Just want to say first, Thank you for all the support. If you did not know, my book has been live now for, depending on when this comes out, maybe two weeks, give or take. And uh it is called the 1% rule, how to fall in love with the process.

and achieve your wildest dreams. And uh I just want to say thank you for the support that you've shown the book. If you haven't gotten it and you've listened to the podcast, I highly recommend that you go over and you grab it. I'm really proud of this one, guys. Um, put a lot into this and I feel it's cohesive, it's to the point, it makes sense, it involves all of the principles that we talk about on this uh podcast.

Um and there's a big focus on integration and it really breaks down some of the illusions and uh delusions that to me uh have held me back in the past, um, but also now that I've overcome that, I see uh in in the world of people just wanting to be better. And so this can be your manifesto. This can be the thing that changes the game for you. So head over to Amazon

Uh, grab the book, leave me a review. Those really, really count for other new people who don't even listen to the podcast, have no idea who I am. uh to to integrate and to start um possibly jumping into the material and then also learning and growing and connecting. And that would mean the world if you Leave me a review. I want you to screenshot it. You can email it to Tommy at resistaverageacademy dot com. Tommy at resistaverageacademy dot com. Myself or my team.

We will uh look at it and we will confirm it and then I will be sending you a special gift. Uh not gonna announce it here, but if you do that, we will make that happen. And I will do the first ten that come in. After that, uh we'll figure something out. But if you're a part of the first ten, you leave an Amazon review with a screenshot, we are ready to rock and I will hook you up.

Um, I also wanted to remind you that uh this has been a crazy few weeks for me. Um the book process obviously was intense. I had a book launch party. Now we have um yeah, I had a retreat that I went to and and not just a retreat, like an tense event and uh it's been a whirlwind. But I haven't gotten sick. And I'm actually really proud of my body for not getting sick'cause it has been crazy. It's been cold in Arizona. And really the the number one reason why

That's happened is because of my consistency with my nutrition and specifically my consistency with athletic careens. And they are a partner of the Academy. And they have seventy five ingredients and I took these to me when I went to California and they have seventy five ingredients, prebiotics, probiotics, immune system stuff, digestive enzymes, I mean you name it. They have everything.

Um Tim Ferris would not recommend this if it was not the best of the best. And they are hooking you up. You can go to athleticgreens.com slash resistavage. AthleticGreens dot com slash resistavage. And they have a special gift for any of the Academy listeners. So, with that said, I'm very excited to introduce uh my next guest. He does not do a lot of interviews. I always love

uh, you know, connecting with people who don't really go on a lot of podcasts. Um and uh, you know, Cal Newport was one of them, Dan Millman was one of them, um, yeah, David Jack, uh and now uh my latest guest. And it's awesome because

For them to say yes means that we're doing something special. They wouldn't like literally like to say no to ninety percent of them. Um and that's just the ethos that they operate with and you know, other people say yes to a lot of podcasts and they're very easy to get to. And some aren't. And the ones that aren't are just inherently special because there's an a lot for me I do so much research and um

You know, there's not a lot of there's not a lot of uh material for some of these guests and I I love that the Academy is the one showcasing and shining a light to the world. So, with that said, uh my next guest, his name is Rich Litvin. He is a coach, he is an author, he is a speaker, um, but mostly a coach to really, really high performers. Um high performers include Uh Olympic athletes.

You know, business moguls, um, everything in between. And he also wrote the book, The Prosperous Coach. Increase in increase income and impact for you and your clients. He co-wrote that with Steve Chandler, which is a great book for uh anybody, um obviously anybody who's looking to be a coach, it's a huge but also also uh anyone who's looking to have deeper conversations. And one of the things that I appreciate about Rich that you'll get out of this

conversation is his ability to hold space. Something that I'm still working on. I notice that I can um I'm great at holding space, but I can release tension with words. And sometimes tension is positive, right? Like even in the conversation with Rich. There are times when I could just hold on to I could say less and we can all do this in life. We can say less and hold on to what we said.

and allow the other person to receive it without interject interjecting more when they're silence. This is a very nuanced part of communication, but I think it's very powerful because if you can get really great at holding space, I mean this is what I do with my clients, I hold space when they come in with chaos, with challenges, with stuff they need to work through, I hold space for them. First I allow them to express, I allow them to release, and then we come up with

solutions and we work through the emotions. I mean, that's the name of the game. So you're gonna get a lot in this episode. And yes, we're gonna talk about coaching and consulting. But even if you're not in that world and that's not what you do, that's totally cool. What I want you to

focus on is how is this applying to my life?'Cause guess what? You're coaching and consulting and communicating in your business with your wife or husband, with your spouse, with your kids, with your relationships, with your coworkers, I'm with yourself every single day. So lean back. Take some notes, create some space, and let's welcome Rich to the Academy.

Resist Average Nation, welcome back to another full length episode. And as I said in the intro, very, very excited today uh for my next guest. He's uh a total rock star and uh his book has been a game changer for myself and and so many different people uh in the coaching and consulting space, but uh also just um to to learn how to, you know, level up conversations. Uh and that's what we're here for today. So welcome to the Academy, Rich Litvin. Hey Tommy, great to be here. Thank you, man.

Awesome, man. So pumped and so excited. And we set the intention that uh this is gonna be improvised and we're gonna go deep and it's gonna be authentic and uh it's gonna be bold. So you ready for this? Good, that's the only way I like to play, so that's perfect. I'm smiling.

Love it, love it. Awesome man. So I wanted to start here, Rich, um'cause I know a lot about your story, obviously, and uh it's it's a pleasure to introduce you to uh my tribe, but I wanted to start with this question, Rich. How do you define a success in your life and business today? Ooh, great. I love it. A question that makes me think right at the start. Uh We're going right into the the deep end.

It's good. It's good. I had too many people play in a in a in a in a really shallow way. So um success. Huh. So so uh okay, let's make it real. So I one of the things I said to you before we began the call is uh hey um Uh my four year old's off sick and and could burst into the room any moment'cause I'm working for part of the day. And uh yesterday I was on a call with my team and I was talking about leadership and the power of being a leader and

Then my four year old did burst in and and there I am trying to negotiate with a four year old and failing badly and realizing but this is what my life is like. Success for me I'd say is integrated these days. So it's it I I I'm a high performer, I always have been, and I and I I push myself

Probably for not a very healthy reason. For much of my life I was trying to prove myself to my father. Took a long time before I saw that. I'd proved myself by trying to get you to like me. Uh I w I wanted you to be impressed by me. And and And i th there was a great side to that. It meant I had a lot of success, but it didn't come from a healthy place. And it it's very easy for me in life without when I don't pay attention.

to go back to that way of being. Yes. To wanna m make more results, make more money, be successful. You know, the the ROI of another hour spent on my business can be measured. And it can increase over time and I can do tiny little tweaks to have a lot of success, to be more well known, to make more money, to have more clients. But the ROI of spending another hour with my kid or another hour on a date with my wife, that's that A that can't be measured.

B it can go badly wrong in an instant. You know, even on a date with my wife, we can end up suddenly in a massive argument that I don't know where it's come from. And and and so it's easier to look at the success that can be measured. Absolutely. So for me success has to be integrated, it has to combine the two. It has to combine family, relationships, fun, health, as well as all the things that are easy for me to focus on and easy for me to make grow quickly.

I love that. And and those last words that you mentioned there, those those seem to be your a set of principles or a a philosophy, a life philosophy that allows you that that that becomes kinda like a North Star to let you know that that integration is happening, is that right? Yeah, it has to be something I I I'm conscious of. I have to bring awareness to it. So I do have to stop and reflect.

and say to myself, where am I spending my time? Where am I spending my energy? Where's where's the return coming from? W what what what makes me feel alive? Uh one of the simplest exercises I'll do with a client is to do what I call an energy audit. Yes. So you can do an energy audit on your home. You know, you you can check how much e money you're spending on on electricity, on gas and so on, on the heating, how much is being wasted.

And at the same time, we don't do it for ourselves. So making a list, draw a line down the center of a piece of paper and on the left hand side make a list of all the things that energize you. And on the right hand side make a list of all the things that drain you of energy. And and when I say things, I mean people, places. Yeah. Hab habits and thoughts too. We don't often put that into into the mix. What thoughts do you have that drain you of energy, that recur on a regular basis?

And and when you make those lists, what the first thing I'll do with the client is say, Let's look at the the things that drain you of energy. and one at a time, slowly remove them. And you'll be astounded at what amazing things seem to occur in your life simply because you're removing the things that are draining view of energy.

I love that. I love that. And that's that's such a powerful exercise because we we we start with deletion. We create more space and when we have space we have more perspective and we have more creativity, we have more fulfillment and we can add stuff that is actually in line with our principles, not something I cla I call it the uh I don't know, I was on a call the other day and I call it the the closet principle, right? I I was talking about my closet and

how I wear twenty percent of the stuff in my closet eighty percent of the time. Yeah. So when I look at the the closet, most of the stuff is just taking up space for no reason. I'm never gonna wear it. It's just there. I'm holding on to it because I some story that I bought it or I bought it in Spain and it means something to me, but I'm never actually gonna wear it. So um how about we just get rid of that? And I think your energy audit is so good. But let me ask you this, Rich.

what do we do with the people that we've identified yet we might have these close relationships with or spend time with or maybe they're coworkers with and we quote unquote have to be around them. What would you say to someone who identifies a low uh a person that takes their energy but they say they have to be around them and continue the relationship. How does that work? So I would question that premise. Um I would say h why aren't you setting your life up so you have choice?

And uh uh th that's it's interesting to me'cause'cause when I first heard your question I was about to dive into well, you know, there are times when it's it you literally have to remove people from your wall. Sure. I I have two friends who if you and I were out at a bar, I would love to introduce you to. They are the life and soul. They are awesome guys. Except I've had to cut them out of my life. Because they drain me of energy for a number of different reasons. And I and I and

And I s and I give that context first because I still love them. They're great guys. I just life is too short and I cannot have these two particular guys in my life for two different reasons. And I've I've I went through some difficult conversations. and and some real upset from them as I began to take them out of my life.

I'm I I th life is short and I don't have time to have people in it who drain me of energy. So I would question that premise. Why why do you have to have anyone in your world who is draining you of energy? And if if that's if it's not the right job, then then you can do things about that and bring it back into your control. Absolutely. And and we realize when we ask that question,'cause I know I have, uh pe people will come up with these

really half hearted excuses. Once once it comes out, now it really sounds you know, they'll say you know, because I went to school with that person or where you have this person in common or uh there's a whole list of reasons, but when we actually look at the reasons there's no actual depth to those reasons. Well I tell you what the reason is. The reason is it involves two things uncomfortable conversations and the fact that someone might not like you.

And those two things are two of the hardest things in life to face. Yes. Uncomfortable conversations are really challenging. Um and and your your life will grow exponentially with your ability as you increase your ability to have uncomfortable conversations. Ooh, that that's so powerful. That that snippet right there. Your life will expand with your ability. Financially. you're on the list to have X-Men. Yeah.

Yeah. And and on top of that, your b the second piece of that is your your life will also expand with your ability to hold the energy that some people might not like you. Cause'cause here's the truth, Tommy. There are some people who are gonna love you whatever you do. Yes. And there are some people who are gonna who won't be able to stand you whatever you do.

And and most of the people on the planet won't ever know you even exist. Exactly. But we worry so much about this. You know, there's that there's that phrase we hear sometimes, people are more afraid of public speaking than death. Uh here's the mistake with that. It it it the reason it's true and not true at the same time is what what actually happens when we think of speaking in public, we imagine we'll die.

Because for most of human history, if you stood up in your tribe and said anything that the tribe didn't like. Someone would either fight you and you might die, or they would literally kill you, or you'd be banished from the tribe, in which case you would die. For most of human history, standing up and saying, This is what I think, this is what I believe, this is what we should do resulted in your death. Any of your ancestors who had a willingness to on a whim speak their truth

Probably didn't pass their DNA onto you. So you and I are the product of people who learned to keep quiet and not speak in public.

Absolutely. And and understanding that that's the mechanism, that is the program that we're wired with allows us to See the resistance because we we all get the resistance when these uncomfortable conversations come up. I know when I was running in my fitness business back east. I knew somebody had to go. I knew she had to go. Everybody knew she had to go and I just kept putting it off, Rich. I'd say

Ah, now's not the right time. No, she actually she did better today. Let me just wait. And then and then what started out as a s you know, relatively uncomfortable conversation at the beginning actually grew to a cataclysmic You're fired like total crap storm shits shit show conversation. And so that that's the problem with these uncomfortable conversations is that early on they might be uncomfortable th but they're like

They're like an itch that we have. But as time goes on, we add tension and that itch becomes a full body rash. And so is this a is this a skill that you kind of lean into as as you know, you put in the reps and and you get better at Rich? Yeah, that's a great catch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a powerful leadership skill. As a leader you have to be willing to have these conversations and and it absolutely, you're gonna mess it up the first few times. You're gonna mess it up badly.

Uh the one one of the first and and I it's happened in my personal life and also in my professional life. I've learned that that there's a reason that old saw uh says fire slowly fire quickly. Yes. But the moment you know my wife usually catches it'cause she'll say, You've been talking about this person for ages and all you do is complain about them. And it's like, oh, because I'm I'm nervous about having that conversation. Exactly. And but what I've discovered is that

I in the moment I have that uncomfortable conversation is the moment I'm proved right or wrong and either way is perfect. And what I mean by that, and I've done this even with potential clients, when I've had a number of times over the years, not many, I'd say two or three times when I've had to Call someone and say, Look, I I don't think you're a fit for us to be working together. And and then what happens is one of two things.

We either have this great conversation where we realize, oh yes, we've caught it, that's really powerful, and we move on in a really loving way, or what's happened twice? They've got really mad, really angry, sent horrible emails to me that for a moment have stopped me in my tracks and thought, Oh my god, I'm this terrible person they because they've really made me feel bad and then I've caught it and I've gone, Oh.

Hang on, that means I was right. If they're that horrible the moment when I fire them, I was right. Either way you're arriving at the same place. You're arriving at clarity, right? Because I'm I it's possible I could go, oh Wow, they've handled it in such a powerful way, maybe I was wrong. And we get to have a deeper conversation and see where we go. I have a client of mine who was a friend. We were in an immense group together for eight years, doing very powerful deep work together.

And then at some point he said, I'd like you to be my private personal coach. He runs a nonprofit uh uh that brings in over seven figures a year, very successful businessman. And I said, okay, here's what I'm willing to do. I will take you on as a client.

And I will only do it if we make sure that our friendship is the priority, that anything that could go wrong in this that would be at the cost of our friendship is not worth it for me. So we created a really powerful and clear agreement between us. And there came a moment when he wasn't really showing up powerfully as a client. And and I call a lot out of my clients and I told him this. And he said, I get it. And I'll and I'll show up the way that I've I've agreed to. And then it didn't happen.

So I said, okay, now I'm firing you as a client. And this is your opportunity. You can look back on this moment in years time and say, you know what, the best thing that ever happened to me was Rich firing me as a client. Or you can get mad, you can get angry, you can get pissed and and you can choose how you you show up.

Well not only did he use it as a life changing moment, he then came back, became a member of four PC, my community of very high level coaches. He's become a leader in that community and he's become a member of my faculty. So if you are willing to have uncomfortable conversations, to stand your ground and speak what you believe and be able to hold tension. Be able to be And that'sn't that that is a skill that you can build over time. You'll be surprised at the way your life will transform.

That's beautiful. That's beautiful because if you didn't stand your ground, he would a not he would not have uh received the gift that you were able to provide through that evolution, which is incredibly powerful. I'm not- I have a distinction I call serving versus pleasing. My distinct my my way of being with my clients is to serve them, not to please them. I love it. And I tell them this distinction before we've even begun. Because it sometimes feels like I want a coach to be my friend.

Now the truth is Tommy, most of my clients become my friends over time. But I don't want to put that up front as a goal. No. Because it it seems like it will be really fun to have your coach celebrating and cheering with you when you have successes. But then the corollary is also true that then they'd be commiserating and feeling sad as you have your struggles. Yes. And what I know as a coach is that my job is to be cheering you on when you are having struggles.

Because my job as a coach is to help you to fail more than you've ever failed because on the other side of failure is where your success really lies.

Absolutely. And then also you're not riding this emotional roller coaster with them. You're grounded in a place where you can continue to provide the highest possible uh th th the most useful form of perspective as a coach instead of riding this roller coaster and on your topic of pleasing You know, I assume the the the some of the clients that you're working with, they already have enough people that are looking to please them.

Yeah, and we look we're surrounded by friends and people who love us, and the problem with people who love you is they want to keep you safe. But we know you and I as entrepreneurs and as coaches that it's on the other side of risk. that your life gets to change. It's on the other side of risk that your business gets to grow. That doesn't mean you can't mitigate the risk. It doesn't mean you get don't get choice over the risks you take. But unless you're willing to take risks,

Nothing's gonna change. It's at the very edge of your comfort zone or just beyond it that your life can transform. So the job of a powerful coach is to have their clients lean in or lean beyond their comfort zone. And that's not what we do as as friends and family members. We want to keep the people we love safe. And we tend to confuse that with comfort and and staying the same. It's edgy to have someone you love change.

Absolutely, absolutely. And and just just having this conversation like for me and and and I didn't even know whether I was gonna I was gonna go here. But for example, in my relationship, you know, sometimes she'll say um, I want you to coach me more. And but but we're in this role of relationship and so it it for me it becomes a challenge of, okay, when am I the loving and supporting partner and when am I

you know, the coach that's gonna step in and create the the the framework and the space to allow to to best serve both instead of being in this in this mix. What is your your kind of experience maybe in your own relationships or client relationships or or anything in between where um you're being able to take on this agreement of a coach as needed when permission is granted, but also you know, balancing that fine line if that makes sense.

Ha ha. Nice. Yeah, so I I I I I uh I'm laughing because nev never coach your wife or the words ringing in. Yeah. No, absolutely and I and I and I agree with that for the most part, but sometimes she'll say, like hey, hey, I what would you what would you say to a client right now? And I'm like, Okay, well well now you're g now now you want to be coached, so let's let's kind of flip the switch here. So so what I do in those moments I distinguish it with my wife. I say I I I

What I can do is I can coach you. Do you want me to be to to coach you in this moment? Because if I do, then I'm not your partner. I'm not your husband. I might say things that challenge you. I might say things that push against the way that you're thinking.

And and a you know, as a coach my job is not to be loved by my clients or even liked by my clients. So are you okay with that? Do you want that? And if so, let's agree that this is gonna be a fifteen minute conversation or an hour long conversation.

And in this conversation, I'll show up as the coach, but at the moment we finish that conversation, we shake off the energy, go back to being partners, lovers, friends, whatever it is, and then we have this very clear dividing line. So we don't blur this. And we don't slip into and it's it's so easy, I'll be honest, for me to slip into and we have a ground rule in my events. We call it no coaching without permission.

Mm and and y you know, put put hundred and fifty coaches in a room, you could be a formula for disaster unless you warn them no coaching without permission. So but I I I'd say that's a ground rule for my relationship, no coaching without permission. And and and no coaching in fact without a direct request from my wife. And that's that's that's not always easy. I tend to slip into wanting to save her, wanting to be the white knight, and that's that's not actually good for my relationship.

Beautiful. That's that's that's great and and super, super helpful. And on that note, the the note that you finished on

To me as as as as a coach and and you know, coaching and a lot of people listening to the podcast, they're either they're looking to be coaches or they're being coached or somewhere in between. Um, so, you know, we love we love your book and it's it's something we promote a ton but What is this what is the difference between like a a powerful coach and and and someone who's looking to save their clients in a sense, or maybe a client who is looking for a savior, maybe somebody to

maybe quote unquote do the do the hard work for them instead of just being the person that's gonna open up the space to allow them to come up with their own solutions and their own possibilities. Well I won't try and speak for all coaches, but I'll speak for how I coach. I i the moment you show up and you're looking for a savior, I know that I'm not the guy

Because it's not how I play. Uh th the the way I put it is I coach kings. And and that's just that's a that's a cute phrase. I don't use it on my marketing, but it's a it's a a phrase that resonates for me because I'm I'm looking for the king in whoever you are. That doesn't mean I'm I'm selecting only millionaires or something like that. What it means is that I'm I c I then say if you if you read my book, you know I talk about creating clients rather than getting clients.

So all clients are created. If I say I coach kings, what that means is I create kings. So you and I sit down, I'm looking for you, looking for where are you a king in your world, in your business, in your relationship. Where are you a powerful leader? Where do you have a track record of success?

Everybody does in their own way. So whilst these days I do filter out the kind of people I work with and I work with very high performers who've got a track record of success and are looking for something even bigger and more powerful in in their future. Um what what I know that throughout my coaching career I was never interested in someone who was looking for me to solve their problems for them. Yes. Because what I know is that you are more powerful than you know.

And and uh i i really the secret of everything that I do as a coach is the way I put it is this. I help powerful people to remember how powerful they are. And I emphasize that word deliberately. I help powerful people to remember how powerful they are.

That's all I'm interested in doing. And and i and and it's gotta come from the inside out and that's how I play. So if someone's showing up looking for a saviour, I'll speak that into the room. I'll say that and I'll say that's that's not the game I wanna play.

Beautiful. I love that. I love that line right there that you just said because um that's that's that's that's what really, you know, gives people the the the keys to their own castle and their own liberation. Because even if even if we did step into that place of Saviorhood. Uh it does nobody uh a good service, doesn't do us a service, we're not at our highest potential for service, and then the other person gets actually robbed from the freedom.

Yeah. Of exactly what you just said, which is going within and uh remembering how powerful they are, which is an absolute game changer. So I love that. And so Rich you mentioned this this your own life, you're looking to prove yourself to your father, prove yourself to others and I I think

Anyone anyone who's achieved that you know just the high performance mindset is many times can come from this place of I'm gonna prove, you know, the naysayers, I'm gonna do it's really intense energy and it w it works. it works until it doesn't work. Like it can be really, really powerful just like you said, to get you to a certain place. And I think, um, one of the things that that the stuff that I love about your work is that you work with high performers who have achieved

you know, high levels of success in in in y what what society uh says like this guy is crushing it, she has it all figured out, et cetera, et cetera. But what you mentioned is that many times What got them there is the exact thing that's in their way from getting to the next level. And I mean, this can be really, really hard, especially on the ego, when you're looking at your life, you've experienced success.

with certain rituals and habits and perspectives and mindsets and now you're being asked to let some of that go, even though you can you can connect the dots and say, This is what got me here. How do you work clients through this? Um and and if you could speak to that for the audience. Yeah. So I think what I have to point to is is

Some some beliefs that many people have and what the truth underlying that is. Um here's one. Most people think that when they have enough money or success or recognition, they'll finally be happy. But the truth is you can have everything you've ever wanted and still feel empty on the inside. I was talking to an entrepreneur the other day who just sold his business for eight figures.

and there's tens of millions of dollars and he said, You know what, Rich? I only started my business so I could be happy. I was just about to start my next business when I realised I'm still not happy. And he caught it. And most of us don't. Most of us are on this, we're driven for a reason that that actually doesn't fulfill it.

And and you tell if if the thing is but people will disqualify that. Like i people will hear that and I'll say All right One of my one of my friends, M Michael Neal, has this lovely phrase, he says, I know making a million dollars won't make me happy, but I just want to make it so I can find out for myself. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Give me the look figure business.

I'm not trying to speak to most people. You know, if if if people can hear that message and they get it early, that's great. For many of us we can only learn it through experience. But my clients are people who are in that place. who have the money, the success, the recognition and there's something still missing.

So that's the time when I begin to work with them. I'll give you another one. Most people want to be the most interesting person in the room. The truth is, if you're the most interesting person in the room, you're in the wrong room. I love that. Again, you know, this is like uh w we crave that, right? It's really fun to be surrounded by people who admire us, who love us, who give us a lot of adulation, but there comes a moment when that feels empty and there's something missing.

And and the more successful you become, the more lonely you can often feel. You become surrounded by people who say what they think you want to hear. You become surrounded by people who say yes to you. And my clients really appreciate the fact that they have a coach who's willing to who's able to see the things that no one else can say see and is willing to say the things that no one else would dare to say.

Yeah, and and that that loneliness, uh the exactly what you talked about right there, I I just I just kind of visualize like an exhaling moment where it's like Yeah, I can actually I can I can I can finally tell somebody what's really going on or Yeah. Someone's not just gonna placate me and

enable me, they're actually gonna challenge something for the first time and that actually makes me feel really, really good because I f I feel trusted, I feel heard, and I feel I feel challenged as well. And and all of that to me is just different forms of love.

Beautiful, beautiful. Yeah. And so but but going back to these patterns, right, it's like It takes a tremendous amount of awareness, right? And obviously it's it's we're not doing it by ourselves you know, uh by ourselves, but

to identify the things that got us to a certain place or the things that we actually have to let go of. And so how do you do do you have any type of And I'm just curious for your life or maybe your clients, do you have some type of um I mean i is this a is a is this a like taking inventory every quarter of of where you are or maybe every single week to just

To to to make sure that you're not continuing to do the things that got you to where you are, but you're not actually allowing yourself the space to let go or or how does that work, Rich? That's a great catch. This is what I call leadership from the inside out. Um most people think leadership happens b in the moment when you're sitting down with a team, when you're telling people what to do. Leadership starts on the inside and it starts exactly what you said with awareness.

My life changed in 1996 when I read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. And from that moment on I began to do a weekly review. And that meant once a week I'd sit down and I'd think about the week I just had and the week I wanted to create and the week later I'd sit down and see how was the week that's just gone and what do I want to create in the week ahead.

And I remember I was four weeks into this when I was sitting down to do a monthly review. Like, let's look at the last four weeks. And I was astounded because I didn't know but I'd written down four weeks in a row I'm watching too much junk T V. And for the first time ever I saw a pattern in my life that I was present to, but so close to I couldn't see it. And the moment I was able to look back and track I had this awareness of something that I didn't have before.

So self awareness is one of the most basic premises of leadership that most people miss. Most people don't understand. And and your willingness to sit down and do this deep reflection. or to have someone who's on your team and why I mean what I mean by that is is a coach or a mentor who's able to give you really honest feedback. Those two things are life changing. Beautiful. And that practice of reflection is so just so powerful. And for anybody out there, it's like it can sound so simple.

And that's why it's so powerful. But y it it what matters is how you do it with intention. It doesn't have to be this complicated reflection. It just something that you create the space to actually create those

I just call them bookmarks in life and instead of waiting for the moments that might take us off kilt or a crisis or s or something happen to actually ask the deeper questions, why don't we ask those questions every single week? Right what am I wh uh am I Y you you can invest a lot of money and have a coach. Or you can sit down once a week and go somewhere away from the family, away from the business. Yeah.

I like to be out in nature and you can sit down and you can do it with w just one or two questions to start. You could simply say What was my week like last week? You could ask, what energized me and what drained me of energy? And what would I like my week ahead to look like?

That would that would be it. That that would s if you did that every week for a month and did it every month for the next six months, your your life would transform. It it couldn't not transform because you'd have more awareness than you you do right now.

It's beautiful. It's beautiful and there's there's beauty and power in in that simplicity and asking the questions and just creating the space to see what comes up and allowing ourselves to be honest with ourselves, not at not from a place of self judgment but just you know, taking inventory of where we are and how we're feeling and what

And and and then from there, once we once we once we face that, once we look in the mirror and we face that then then we can create um then we create create something new and and powerful. And on that token the same thing is and and uh I do this every week as well, it's like awesome.

Where did you win this week? Where did you kick ass? Where did you rise above to the challenge? And I'm sure you see this and I'd love for you to speak on this, Rich. It's like It it's it's like the horizon analogy. It's like when we're moving at a fast rate, you know, we're doing all these things, we're accomplishing big things, but we never take a moment to actually

You know, let it sink in. And like for example, I just got uh for the first time I got the the copy of my book here delivered uh to my place and um Congratulations. Yeah. took the moment to actually let it sink in, like hold it in, breathe it in, celebrate it, celebrate myself, celebrate the creation, celebrate the three thirty in the morning, you know, writing uh t practices.

and just be with it instead of focusing on, okay, now I gotta focus on the marketing. Which podcast am I gonna get on? How am I gonna do this? Oh, the virtual assistant. I mean, uh you know, all of this stuff that we could I could already Well let me let me see if you're familiar with this one. Yeah. Um th this is how it goes for me. I have some success at something.

I give myself about twenty five seconds to celebrate before I'm looking at how I could have done it bigger, better or differently or I'm looking into the future to say, Well, what am I gonna do next? Yes. That's it right there. I tha that's what it is to be a high performer. But we don't do what you're doing right now.

stop and pause. And so one of the things I do, I have a group I run called Four PC, this group of the top four percent of coaches and leaders out there, that we get together roughly once a quarter and we use something I call the turnaround tool. We turn around and look back. And we say, Oh. What am I proud of that I've done in in the the ninety days since we've been together? And and what am I happy with in this present moment?

before I lock off into the future. Because the d you know, being a an entrepreneur, being a uh someone we we we're future focused, right? That's what makes you successful as an entrepreneur. Absolutely. And and and there's a challenge in only being future focused. There's a price to pay in only being future focused.

Yeah, and and that's and that's it it's it's a very big price. It's a very, very big price. And the only reason that I was able to do that was because of awareness, exactly what we talked about,'cause so many other times I have just gone into the next thing so fast and I was like, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I just did this and I didn't even honor myself. And to me it goes it just goes back to just like self appreciation. Because at the end of the day if we don't

um, appreciate the the amazing things that we've done and who we had to become to do those things. Um, I mean that that's what's that that's what I'm here for. I'm here to to to build that and and to give my life meaning through those processes. The outcome is just the outcome. So tell me, was the name of your book? It's called the one percent rule.

So I wanna I wanna acknowledge you for that then, because y you're absolutely right and it's not often we get someone who in in the moment can acknowledge us. I know what it takes to write a book. I've written my first one which has done really well. I for two years I've been stuck in all sorts of ways and my second one it hasn't yet come out. So I wanna acknowledge you. The three AM writing sessions.

For the moments when there may have been tears streaming down your face'cause you felt stuck or didn't know what to do. For the moments when you were probably afraid 'Cause I know I get afraid of what will happen if I fail or even worse what will happen if I succeed. And I really want to acknowledge you. You you you have a baby right now and it's just arrived at your home. And I want to acknowledge you too for w the courage it takes

To actually pause and not jump straight into okay, where do I go next? How do I get it out into the world? To take stock. And I really acknowledge you for all of that. Congratulations, man.

you so much and and and your your words mean uh mean the world and and uh deep, deep deep appreciation for that. And uh I I think that's like a that's a beautiful thing in life to be able to stop in the present and you know, I know this is this is a practice that I've done in my own relationships and like not wait to acknowledge you know, go going back to having tough conversations, sometimes those conversations can be something like Hey, let me let me tell you let me acknowledge you right now.

Like instead of waiting, like telling somebody how we feel in the moment instead of saying, Oh, well w I assume they know or they they they know because of this. No, like l like l let me take a moment. You actually just did it live and so for the audience, like what Rich just did is a beautiful thing that you can do to the people in your life for stuff that they're doing and also guess who else you can do it to? You can do it to yourself.

Beautiful. And so Rich, this this concept of of reflection is also really tied closely to what I call this concept of uh creating space in life and creating bandwidth. And this is another thing that you know, high performers, people who are always looking for more to to grow and expand, have trouble doing. And I know for for clients that I've worked with, the concept of creating space, and when I say creating space it's just

bandwidth, just whether it's a meditation practice, being in nature, maybe taking a few days off, yes, as crazy as that sounds. Um and so how do you help people, especially business people, and I know you work with

uh men and women, but you know, men who can be so focused on the logic of, hey, I have this amount of time, which means this is the revenue that I'm gonna create, just like you said earlier in terms of our ROI. How do you have them see the benefit of creating that space in life for even bigger ROI? Hey, it's Tommy and guess what? We'll be right back with that amazing interview, but the book is out. My new book, The 1% Rule is Out.

now and so I had to pause this amazing interview just to remind you if you listen to the show, if you followed me on social, if you've been here, if you've listened to the content, if you've watched my videos online, like this is your time. to make a small investment in yourself through the one percent rule book. I I created this for one simple reason, to give you back the power.

to not allow you to buy into these beliefs around success that these huge expectations that you and I know just simply like they aren't working and they leave you feeling worse off, not better. So I wanted to remind you the book is now out. Head over to Amazon.com or BarnesandNoble.com. Just use Amazon. It's going to be better for me and it supports the rankings.

And head over there, grab your book. You can grab it on paperback, you can grab it on Kindle, you can grab it on both, and support the mission. It is ready. If you can find it on Amazon, head over to one percent

rulebook.com. I got the links there also. You can follow me on any other socials and the links will be in my profiles and my stuff for the next week or so as we really push this. The support means the world and I'm very excited to share it. Grab it now. The book is out and we'll go back to this interview. Well the first thing that comes to me is an old Zen story. So uh a man goes to a Zen master and says, Master, I want to be enlightened.

And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get enlightenment. I and I'll I want to do it faster and better than anybody else has done it. And the Zen Master looks at him and says, Okay, well it will take you ten years and he says, No master, you don't understand. I'm not kidding, I'm gonna work harder and faster and longer than anyone else has ever done this before. How long will it take me? He looks at the the Zen Master looks at his the man and says, Then it will take you twenty years, my son.

So this is how I play with my clients. That if you come to me because you're in a hurry, I'm gonna practice slowing you down. Slow down to be s to speed up is a mantra that has transformed my life. And and I went I went two years ago, I I gave a gift to some clients to go in the Lamborghinis doing some racing around a racetrack.

It was really fun. I'd never been in a car that fast before. And we got in the vehicle and they said, We're gonna teach you how to drive and they said, Okay, this is what you need to do. When you're driving a high performance, high speed vehicle like this. Slow down to go smooth and go smooth to speed up. And I thought, Oh my God, you've just told me that one of the fastest cars in the world is driven best by slowing down to speed up.

And it's the perfect metaphor for us in business. If someone comes to me and they're really stressed, then I'll say, Okay, well the first thing we need to do is to have you take a break.

Go on a vacation, go and send spend some time out in nature and they'll say, But you don't understand, Rich, the reason I'm working with you'cause I'm so stressed and I need to get stuff done and we're in a hurry. We've got these time pressures and time deadlines and I say, Well that's why I'm gonna slow you down first.

Because we all know this innately, Tommy. Our best ideas come. Research shows this. Our best ideas come when we're in nature, when we're going for a walk and we're on a beach. And so We need more space to do that. When you're under pressure, you actually can't think clearly. So I'm not playing a game when I say I'm gonna slow you down when you're feeling stressed.

is literally going to change the way that you think and you see. And the problems that appear to be problems right now might not be when you're sitting on that beach. Or the solution that you need might come because you spend an extra hour in the bath, let alone an extra hour on vacation. It's so true. And I it's it's this the concept of spending more time being and that's uh ultimately gonna help our doing and it it's gonna raise the level of intentionality. And I love what you said about

you know, looking at problems when we're stressed because we've all been in that situation where we're insanely stressed and it's chaotic and we're not open in those states. We're not creative. We don't connect with people. We don't sh show ourselves self love. I mean all of these Speed exhale. Which means that our focus narrows. We're just we're animals. We're designed to have our focus narrow because if you hear the roar of a lion behind you, your body has to go into immediate action.

Your muscles need to pump b your heart needs to pump blood to your muscles so you can run fast. Your gaze needs to be focused out ahead. If you're hunting for a deer, your gaze needs to narrow so you're focused on that one thing and that one thing alone. And then you miss things and you miss possibilities and you miss connections and you miss solutions. So by taking time to slow down or by removing the things that drain you of energy.

More possibilities around you. You see, you are so much closer to everything you want than you can ever imagine. You just don't know it because you can't see them. And it looks like magic when I start working with a coaching client and suddenly they start creating amazing results really fast. But those things were around them the whole time. They just couldn't see them from where they were standing or for the pressure they were under.

Wow, that's that's that's the power. That's the power of awareness and perspective. And then you start noticing exactly what you said, the things that were there all along that we literally could not see.

And uh I I had I wanted to ask you on this'cause you talk a lot about mastery and the pursuit of mastery and I'm not sure where I saw this one, but I wanted to ask you So I think it's such a powerful concept uh for people to to know and it's basically the premise that On the path of mastery, on the path of greatness or however you wanna call it, we will have long stretches of

plateaus. We'll have long stretches where we're going and we're going and there's no breakthrough. And I want you to speak to this because I see people that are almost addicted to the to the breakthrough and then when they get to the moment after the breakthrough when they're in the process of integration, they're actually living the principles from the breakthrough, they start thinking

Well, is something is something missing here? Am I doing something wrong? Is this the wrong path? Am I in the wrong business? Is this the wrong relationship? And so I want you to speak to that because I think it allows people to have a long term approach. to uh to give longevity to their goals in their life without this tremendous pressure that they might be doing the wrong thing. Nice.

Uh when you speak of the plateau and mastery, um that that concept comes initially from a book by George Leonard, who wrote a book called Mastery. Great book. George Leonard, I think, was forty six years old when he said he wanted to take up Aikido, ended up ended up becoming a fifth Dan black belt in Aikido. And and everything he learned about mastery came from that practice.

And and it is a long-term game. There's a wonderful little book. It's a little bit hard to read, but the premise behind it is a single distinction called finite and infinite games. So a finite game is a game like soccer or baseball, basketball. You can win or you can lose. There are rules, there are boundaries. You can be told to stop playing. There are people who make up the rules.

There are ways you have to play, there are ways you can fail. And and there are most games are played like that. The game of business is often played like that. You can win or lose. Hey, I made a lot of money this month. I'm a winner. Hey, I went bankrupt. I'm a loser. But then there's another way of looking at games and it's an infinite game.

And an infinite game has no rules. You get to make up the rules. You get to change the rules. You get to play it any way you choose. And when you think you've won, you get to change the rules again so you keep playing. The only way to win is to keep playing.

There aren't many games like this. Life is an infinite game because you can't take it with you. It doesn't matter how many millions you've got, you're not going out on your deathbed with those millions coming through the port portal with you.

You can't take it with you. Life's an infinite game. Relationships are an infinite game. You know this as well as I do in a relationship with a woman there is there's no way to win that game. It you just it keeps going. You have to keep the changing the rules or she'll change the rules on you. Parenting is an infinite game. And one of my friends gave me the best advice ever on parenting. He said, You can't get it right. And I think you can play business the same way as an infinite game.

I I I know people who've gone bankrupt and that's been the thing that has allowed them to go to their next level of success. And whilst you might not wish that on anyone, you don't look back with any regret because it gave you the lessons you needed. So when you play from this place of an infinite game, it becomes a long-term game.

Every failure isn't there because you need it, but it's something you're going to take a lesson from. Any struggle you have, the pain that you feel right now, you know there's something coming out on the other side. Sam Altman, who was is the CEO of Y Combinator, has this lovely quote. He says, The problem with standing on an exponential curve is that when you look backwards, it appears flat. And you look forwards, it appears vertical.

And so when you're playing this game of exponential growth, and that's the game I play with my clients, I help extraordinary leaders make an exponential impact. The challenge of that game is you never quite know where you are on that curve. Is that exponential growth about to happen today, tomorrow, or down the road? And it it feels painfully slow at times, and that's what the plateau is that George Leonard talks about. That willingness, that ability to stay in that place.

Keep learning, keep growing while you're there. That has a powerful impact. I love that and and and people need to hear that because uh maybe in a in a social media hustle, entrepreneur society, uh whatever it may be People some people can expect to have this huge breakthrough every single week, every single month, and uh and it's absolutely unrealistic. And it it's it sets up these false expectations.

where we might be on that exponential growth curve and then we might give up a few feet from gold. We might give up before that next big leap um because we didn't We we're we're a best we're a bit messed up these days because we have shows like American Idol where it appears you can be a success overnight. Yeah. Where we hear about these unicorn companies that go from, you know, three users to a

billion dollar valuation in in a few weeks. And and that's not the norm. And and we know it's not the norm because the press talk about those things. The trouble with the news is what people don't understand about the news. Is it's only newsworthy if it's unusual.

So when you hear about tragedies in the news and when you hear about these amazing things that happen to businesses that appear overnight successes, they're not the norm. And and don't get swayed by them, don't get caught up thinking about them.

Your your willingness to stay in for the long haul. Look, sometimes that means you've got to you've got to throw your whole business model up in the air and say, hey, this isn't working. It doesn't mean just stick at it no matter what. You might not be paying the r playing the right game. But but don't get swayed by s by some of the some of what's newsworthy these days.

A hundred percent. And and that that pressure that that that pressure it's like um It's it's a scarcity pressure, this this time pressure that we we place on ourselves. Like if this does not happen, if m if my vision does not come to life within the next twenty four months this way and has to look this way It's very rigid. It's very rigid. And and and to me the biggest tragedy is when we operate with that deep rooted rigidness is that we lose the potential that we can't even see today.

I I learned a lovely distinction from a uh a coach named Dan Sullivan. Yes. And Dan teaches this idea of having a twenty five year goal. And Uh it really had a massive impact on me when I began to think twenty-five years into the future. So I founded 4PC four years ago. We're in our fourth year right now. This is a community of the top four percent of leaders and coaches.

And we're only in year four of what is my twenty-five year vision to curate this community of extraordinary leaders and extraordinary coaches who are making an exponential impact. I get to relax. I get to take the pressure off myself. I've got twenty one years to go. There's no pressure here. But what I also get to do is every quarter, every ninety days, is to slow down and take stock. What have we achieved? What would I like to achieve in the next quarter? And ninety days is one percent.

of 25 years. So every 90 days I get to stake take stock and whether I've had a success or whether I struggled, it's only 1% of my 25 year goal. That's a beautiful distinction.

That's that's awesome. That's that's beautiful. And I know I know Dan uh he he'll set these goals. I don't know how old he is now, but he'll set goals that are you know, just like you said, twenty five years from from where he's at today and it's it's it's a beautiful reminder of this this long term approach and being in it for the long game.

Yeah, he's seventy three or seventy four right now and three or four years ago when he was seventy he set his next twenty five year goals and he's w he's living towards them right now. That's so inspiring.

Contrary to to to some of what we just talked about, the kind of uh the conventional wisdom behind things and this this pressure and and that's that's I know we got a few minutes left. That's another thing that I wanted to mention was you talk about this um you know, helping people get into a place where they're focused on

You know, their zone of genius and things that and and in that place you say that that's actually quite effortless. It's actually quite easy. And that that also really goes against this whole, you know, just Gotta gotta gotta work more intense, gotta work more hours. It's it's it's gotta to get to the next level, we gotta we gotta really hamper down and really just grind it out. And so I love that dichotomy because your message is is is so refreshing. It's like No, if...

Let me s let me speak that for a second, I'll explain it. And I love that you you know so much about my stuff, Tommy. Thank you. Yeah. Absolutely. Dived into what I write. Um just to finish on mastery, I wrote an article. If you just Google Rich Litvin and the word mastery, I wrote an article called Mastery. And the subtitle of that article is called How to become an overnight success as a coach in forty six. Yeah.

Uh and it speaks to this thing that we see these overnight successes, and most of them have been in it for at least 10 years. They put in their 10,000 hours. Yes. So I'll I'll speak to the laziness piece. So here's here again. Most peop most high performers feel lazy because they think they have so much more to give. And and that that that's the challenge we have as high performers. That the way I play with my clients is I say, your job is to feel more lazy as time goes on.

So we have these these guilty secrets as high performance. One of them is this thing of feeling lazy. We get acknowledged by all these people around us saying, Wow, it's amazing what you're creating. And and we feel lazy on this like, I'm not really working very hard. To me, that's actually a great sign. What that tells me is you're working in what I call your zone of genius. those one, two, three things that you can do extraordinarily well that when you do those things, everything flies.

And Your job as time goes on is to feel more lazy, to dive even deeper into those few things that only you can do. So on my Zonogenius list there are three things, Tommy. Uh coaching, creating and connecting with fascinating people.

Uh I told actually I told Dan Sullivan the other day, that Dan runs a thirty million dollar company and I said to him, I'm an accidental entrepreneur. I I wasn't supposed to be an entrepreneur. I was a high school teacher for the first fifteen years of my career. And then I I fell into entrepreneurship. And I've had a lot of success, but I I didn't know you're supposed to have a business.

So twelve years ago, I made up a business plan and it's got one line. My one line business plan is meet fun and interesting people. And any time I do more of that, my business flies. And anytime I do other things that take me away from that, my biggest business begins to struggle. So I'm I my team are trained to know that I'm only allowed to be doing three things.

Coaching, creating, or connecting with interesting people. The reason we're having this conversation right now is you pass the filter of somebody fascinating and interesting. I want to have time talking to. And I s I saw that I saw that when I reached out'cause your team was

They said, hey, li uh you know, Rich only s uh agrees to engagements that are a hell yes or or something like that. I love it. I love it. I loved it. I was like, that's awesome. Like that that that's that's the name of the game. Like that's and so and then and that zone of genius.

done a lot of work on that actually. I I I I d I don't, you know, my team that had this correspondence, I don't know, I don't see what they write any longer. So I love that they get this and that they tell you this and they tell other people this because I don't say yes, I say no to a lot of interviews these days. Absolutely. Absolutely. And so that they're willing to to filter in that way and then they they it is beautiful.

Yeah, and when I saw that I was just so excited because obviously that's a principle that I've also injected into my life and And if for some reason it was a no, I know it would be uh uh I knew it would it would serve. It would it would serve. And if it was a yes, then we were both all in and that's and that's beautiful because once you start operating out of that place, it means you know what you want, which is

uh what you you know, your your one liner. It knows how th going back to the principles and the three things that you just said in terms of creating and and and connecting and coaching. And then it makes decision making very easy. Like how much how much time do we how much mental real estate do we waste trying to make decisions? Should we do it? Should we not? Should we commit? Should we speak? Should we not?

cancel at the last second, now we look bad, now the relationship is fractured. It's like principles and I call it the vegan principle. When a vegan walks into a restaurant, eighty percent of the menu, not gonna happen, right? So they already have this lightness to them where it's like Hey, I can only choose one or two things. It's pretty obvious. Let me just enjoy the present while everybody else is trying to figure out what what to eat from the menu.

I love that. A beautiful name for a principle. I love it. W w when life becomes simple, there was a time when I I didn't drink. And life became simple. Uh I uh people would say y you go to a bar, people for some reason always want to pressure you. Hey have a have a have a cocktail, have a beer, have this they'd find it hard and if you're saying no, no, I'm I'm okay tonight, I'm I'm good, thanks, they'll keep pushing. But if you say I'm I'm I don't drink right now

or I'm not drinking or I don't drink alcohol, they just stop. It's real simple. And and life is e becomes easier when it's binary like that. I set myself a goal at the start of this year, um a fitness goal, and I and I made it a really simple goal. I'm gonna do fifty five burpees every single day this year. I gave myself a little bit of leeway, like if I if something happens I'm on a flight or or I'm sick, I can miss a single day, except I have to do a hundred and ten the next day.

Today is one of those days. I did fifty five this morning and I do fifty five after this call. It's painful. But I've done fifty five burpees every single day this year. It's this Tiny little goal. There's binary. I just I'm either gonna do it or I'm not and I'm committed. I'm I'm doing. So there's so there's real power in creating rules for yourself like that. I love the vegan principle.

That's beautiful man. I love it. And uh wish you well on those burpees. Awesome man. Rich, I know our time is coming to an end. What is the best place for people to connect with you? We have people on the academy who um obviously love these in depth conversations. Some are coaching, some are being coached. So this is very, very relevance. Obviously the prosperous coach on Amazon, but where else can people can connect with you?

Hey thanks. So th that that book, The Prosperous Coach, uh we've sold over forty five thousand copies now. I and by word of mouth alone. We did nothing to market it. It's got one message for coaches. Stop marketing and start coaching. In a world that's very noisy that tells you you've got to build a coaching practice online, you actually don't have to. You can build a really thriving practice with a handful of high performing, high fee clients.

one powerful conversation at a time. So th that's a book where you might want to start. Then you can go to my website, richlitvin.com. And if you go to RichLiving.com forward slash resistavage, we put together some resources for your your gang who are listening right now. There's a video of where I'm talking to Vision Lacchiani, who runs a fifty million dollar company, about the challenges I see for top performers.

And what's fun about that video is you s I'm literally coaching him without him realizing it because he has all these insights as I'm taking him through these these principles. Um there's a scorecard around exponential success. There's a there's a draft of the f the first draft of my book around the success paradox

So just go to richlipvin.com forward slash resistaverage and and we'll give you a bunch of those things. Um and you can also just Google my name. There's there's a lot of videos I've made. You can watch me coaching. I put a lot of my coaching live online. Um and and f follow me, you know, subscribe to my staff and we'll share stuff with you.

Beautiful, beautiful. And the Academy is a voracious crew, so they will definitely be deep diving into that. And uh r um Rich I got one last question for you and before I do I do wanna also uh acknowledge you uh for your passion, your your energy, your wisdom, and also just uh your presence and your your ability to to hold space when you speak, whether I'm listening to you know, I did a lot of research for this podcast, but obviously I've known of your stuff.

Um and when I listen to you on a YouTube video or even just reading The Prosperous Poach I I I feel a deep level of presence. So I just wanna say in a world that's very distracted and a lot of people are thinking on what to say next, thank you for your presence.

Thank you. Yeah, let me slow down and actually receive that because um i i it it's it it's is I I asked my wife's ninety six year old grandmother before she passed away about a year ago, what what message would she have for youngsters today?

And she immediately responded, she said, I would tell them that the word listen has exactly the same letters as the word silent. And and that's what presence is, being willing to be silent, to let go of the thoughts in your head, to listen deeply to the person you're with. So thank you for catching that. Absolutely. And that that's that's beautiful wisdom. And I wanted to end on this, Rich. When you hear the phrase resist average, what's the first thing that comes to your mind?

Ah. Um a a a phrase by Hugh McLeod Don't be the best in the world at what you do, be the only one in the world who does what you do. I love that. Beautiful. Beautiful. Awesome Academy. Well you heard this amazing deep immersive episode and uh we wanna hear from you one piece of integration that you got out of this conversation.

Um that you're gonna apply in your integrate today. Not tomorrow, but today into your life. We wanna hear from you. Have a beautiful day and we'll see you on the next episode of the Academy. For most of human history, it wasn't called What's cool? It's what I love to do. Lead people then to mess with people's thinking. If you'd like more than a little bit more than a little bit more than