Previously on number one Dad. So I did some investigating and I was able to find out that he's been a defendant or plaintiff in twenty three court cases since nineteen eighty four.
That's just very good.
Do you ask your mom ever about this? No, we wouldn't talk about it to this day. I have not talked to my mom about my father in twenty four years. Wow, So I have something to tell you. It's good news. I saw the podcast to iHeartRadio, but there is a catch. It's about my father. Well, that didn't go as I'd hoped.
I think you need to understand her hesitation.
Obviously, because your father hasn't gone after you the past twenty years.
You know, I don't know what to do. You're gonna keep going? I mean, obviously there was a ton of stuff that was bad in our childhood, But do you have any fond memories?
I feel like the happiest stuff we had going on in our childhood was the traveling that we did, although we probably lied and scam just to get us on the vacation.
I have two sisters, and that's one of them. Jamie. I feel the exact same way as her. My best memories with my family were our vacations together. One of the few home videos I have is when we went to the Grand Canyon. It's wild to hear all of us in such a happy place. We're getting ready to go to the Grand Canyon, horseback riding right.
Down the canyon.
Excuse man the mid.
But we're gonna be leaving in a few minutes as soon as we can get to India. Had a bed right over there, and it is so what do you think is the hardest part about having a comment for a father?
It was a doomino effect of one lie after another led to our family really just falling apart.
My father's behavior led to my parents getting divorced. Me and my sisters Jamie and Danny chose to stick with our mother. We all decided it would be best to completely cut Manny out of our lives, but it came out of cost. We weren't just ending things with him, we were separating from anyone who spoke to him. This
included our grandparents, who we were all very close with. Sadly, I never had a chance to reconcile with them before they passed, and for me, this was the beginning of my ability just to completely cut people off, which is what I did to my oldest sister Danny. Years later, in twenty fifteen, I learned Danny reconnected with our father. I felt betrayed. It was a person I thought we all agreed to hate, so naturally I immediately stopped talking to her. I didn't tell her a reason, no conversation.
It was just over and Danny and I haven't spoken since. But as much as this podcast is aimed at learning the truth about my cod Man father and possibly reconciling with him, the first relationship I want to repair is with Danny.
So what are you gonna do?
Are you gonna reach out to Danny?
I does she still talk to him?
I mean, I really don't think she does. She told me she doesn't, and I really do believe her.
All right, Well, if I if I text her right now, what would I even say? I don't even know where to begin.
I think what you need to do is make it short and sweet, and I think you need to just reach out to her and say you want to talk?
All right, I'm gonna write it. How's hi, Danny. I know it's been a while, but would you be up to talking? It's your brother Gary by the way, so it's good.
She might not remember yet that.
Uh what do I put like at like period at the end? Smiley face?
What do I do the emoji? All right? Like?
Is that good?
I like?
I know it's been a while, but would you be up to send it?
Just send it?
Okay? Just send it all right? And sending send Okay, I did it. Good job, This is number one Dad. Still nothing from Danny.
It's been like twenty minutes. You've been dodging her for six years. Just give her a.
Minute, all right. One memory I have with my dad is how we take on different personas. When he would talk to people. He was like some con owner's chameleon, constantly changing who he was to get stuff out of people. I was relieved to hear Jamie remembering him in the exact same way.
But didn't matter where we were, he would turn himself into whatever character he needed to be. We could walk into a Greek restaurant and all of a sudden, he'd have a Greek accents. Yeah, you know, you walk into the Jewish Delhi and he's speaking Yiddish. He could be Russian.
He's Russian, just.
Like sneaking into MSG what fuel my father was this endless drive to know that he could pull one over on people, and it didn't matter how big or small an opportunity was. He had to know he could get away with it. My father didn't love to lie, he needed to. I was able to locate a YouTube clip of him back in twenty thirteen at the Israeli Day Parade. The prey takes place in New York City along Fifth Avenue.
A lot of high profile politicians and diplomatic officers from various countries of ten which is a perfect event for someone like my father to mingle, and sure enough he brought his camera to give him access. The audio clip I'm about to play is him talking to two diplomats from Greece. It took me back and reminded me of how good of a bullshitter he is. Yasui. My father starts speaking Greek to them. He says, hello, in good health. What do you do for the florist of the vision?
My father gets right down to business and asks what they do? Are you elected officials for a certain area? They respond, the Ambassador to the United Nations and the Counselor General. The Ambassador to the United nations in the count.
If you need anything, you have my cod. Very ball in Washington, Younger.
My dad tells them, if they need anything, you have my card. I'm very involved in Washington. They say, thank you. This is textbook my dad making himself sound more than he actually is. Get absolutely no involvement in Washington. Zero. But once again, just like everybody else, these guys bought it. I ran my sports illustrated scam with him. That was our thing. Did you have anything that ever took place when you were a kid.
So a couple of experiences. I had been running track in high school. I was track, but we were running on the road. Par drove by kids did it. They slowed down and whacked us with lacrossticks. I did legitimately get a pretty bad injury to my arm at the time. After that, he had me going to neurologists. I'm having MRIs, I'm having all sorts of scans, and I'm getting stuck with like all sorts of needles in my arms and getting quarters on shots because he wants me to act
like my injury is even worse for a payout. He was telling me what I should be saying. When the neurologists asked me questions. Make sure you tell them that these are the fingers you can't feel. You could feel these two, but you can't feel these three.
Basically, you know, give.
Like the specific symptoms of an injury that's going to show that I have like some kind of permanent damage to my arm. Given the opportunity, that guy will sue anybody totally.
Did you have a specific moment where you're like, I'm cutting them off?
He offered me one hundred dollars to not come to my high school graduation. He had a business meeting in Canada, which was like really interesting because at the time I don't remember him having a business. There was no business. Like one hundred dollars will substitute a parent's presence at one of these milestone events.
Yeah, by the way, that one hundred dollars was counterfeit.
It probably was.
Where do you think he lives now?
I believe he lives, possibly in that house in Dix Hills.
In our childho at home.
I believe ya.
Back in the early eighties, my father owned and operated a furniture showroom a few blocks from the Empire State Building called Designer's Gallery, where he sold high end living room and dining room sets. As a kid, I remember my dad having my sisters and I act as walking billboards, wearing bright yellow Designer's Gallery t shirts and sweatshirts wherever we went. I was about five years old when the
business abruptly closed. Recently, I discovered it was actually covered on the news well Long Island.
After dozens of buyers claimed they were cheated. The state Attorney General's office filed suit yesterday against a Manhattan furniture dealer, seeking restitution, damages, and an order barring the firm from operating a furniture business in the state. The lawsuit was filed against VET Sales, Inc. And names its president Mandy Veder. VET Sales does business as Designer's Gallery on West thirty
first Street. A spokeswoman for Attorney General Robert Abrams said the office had received more than one hundred complaints against the firm, including that it took deposits of up to twenty five hundred dollars, failed to deliver or deliver damaged goods, refused to return deposits, and failed to pay court judgments obtained by consumers.
I reached out to Jkasak, one of my father's old associates in the furniture business. Jay and my father wore hand in hand on a lot of business deals, but they had a falling out, and I learned it's been three years since they last spoke. One of the first things Jay brought up was my dad's ability to adopt voices and accents.
He speaks French and you know who knew?
Yeah, I didn't know that he spoke French either, right, I.
Mean, his personality is unbelievable, you know how he does that.
I remember my father being somebody who had to lie. Was he that way in business?
Maybe I was naive at the time, right, But he knew how to do certain things. He knew how to manipulate people.
Jay was hesitant to give specifics. I can't say for or, but just like my mom, I think people who have been involved with my father are reluctant to talk about him because they're afraid of possible repercussions or blowback.
He knew how to get what he wanted. And I don't mean like salesmanship. He just knew what to say and it always came with a friendly smile and all of that. And that was really impressive. To me because I didn't know many people that could have done that.
Absolutely. Yeah, there's salesmanship, and then there's my dad who's he just has a different type of quality about him that he's able to get things from people.
And I saw it in action. I was very impressed meeting people, creating situations, getting them to do what he wanted them to do, and it all fell into place, and I learned some of those tricks, actually I really did. Those were those were great things, you know, things we were a little exaggerated, like sative things, but it worked. There was another other guy who knew him, also Eli, and he was from Brooklyn and he's still in touch
with me. This fella, he was a retailer and he became a customer of Manny's as well, but he had he had some personal problems with Manny and getting the furniture, so he exited. But the two of them don't talk anymore.
M all right.
I just got off the subway and I am on my way to therapy. I don't know. Maybe part of the reason I'm doing this podcast is to show my dad that I didn't.
End up blake him.
Because the blueprint was there. That's probably what they're gonna be talking about today, Hibbabita. How's it going?
Hi, Darry, I'm all right. Whis been happening since our last session?
Well?
I tried talking to my mom and she doesn't want to be on the podcast, but I'm going to still, you know, push forward and try learning more about my dad.
Yeah.
I think you're bringing up something that's going to be really relevant in your journey, like where are boundaries as far as how you're figuring this out? Because everybody is going to have their set of feelings. So I think a couple of questions that you could ask yourself, are there things about my father that are good? Because if there aren't, what does that mean about me? And I'm wondering if this quest might we say that it's also you ensuring Hey, I'm not all bad either. You know,
there's some good stuff about me too, being his son. Yeah, what part of you connects to spaces where there are qualities of your dad? You'd say, oh, that exists.
I don't know, really this is a quality. But back when I was a sophomore in college, I started stealing college exams. I was in this accounting class. I realized that my professor and the day of the exam, there are two classes, and I was in the later class, and he would lay out all the exams in alphabetical order,
and they were in these big lecture halls. So what I would do is show up to the first class and just take a random person's tests off their desk, and then I go and I'd bring it to somebody who I knew was smart, and they would fill out all the answers, and then I would even sell that exam to other students that were in my class. I stole the midterm, I stole a final, so I was able to get away with this. And part of me is like, yeah, this is something my father would have done.
I really felt that way, and I didn't like that feeling whatsoever.
It's significant that you recognize that your behavior was exactly like your father's. How does that feel.
It's scary. It's scary to think that there's a part of him that lives inside of me. Okay, but once I got out of college, I was like, I can't do anything like this. I can't be my father.
What a turning point for you. Your dad laid a foundation of getting away with things from the time you were a little boy, like figuring out how to get away with it, even if it's like lying or cheating, even if things are illegal. As you're starting to uncover things, as you're hearing stories, I really think about is it possible to reconcile? Is it possible that there are pieces of my dad that I haven't known? But is it
possible that maybe I won't But it doesn't matter. I just don't want to regret not knowing.
Yeah, you know.
Like part of this also involves me talking to my sister Danny and her and I we haven't spoken in years, and I cut her off the same way I cut my dad off.
Why did you cut off that relationship with your sister?
My reason is because she started speaking to my dad and as soon as I found that out, I was like, I can't trust her anymore. But now here I am trying to learn more about my father and I get given him another chance, just like she did.
I can see why you would want to speak to her. Are you concerned that you won't want to talk to you after all this time?
Well, I sent her a text and I haven't heard back yet, but I'm hopeful that she's going to be up for talking to me.
Great, you gets ready?
We're going? Where are we going? Now?
Guys?
Where what to stop?
Up?
Where?
Palm springs?
Hi?
James, what do you think?
Damn?
Yes, you guess?
Darry, what do you said now?
Shane Closet.
I just got a text from Danny. She wants to talk, So I am gonna call her it FaceTime, actually, but I told her that doing a podcast about our father, and she's fully on board. So yeah, I'm gonna talk to my sister. Hey, Hey, I'll go first, just so we could clear the air a little bit.
Okay.
So I know, me texting you is like out of the blue, and I you know, it was a tough thing to do because you know, part of why I stopped talking to you altogether was because you you talked to our father, and you know, I want to I want to be honest with you, like I felt betrayed, like I didn't really want to have anything to do with him, and I felt that by you talking to him him, and if I was to continue to talk to you, it'd be somehow letting him into my life.
And I feel bad that I've missed things over the last six years. Been a part of your life and your kids' lives, but it was something I felt that I needed to do so I wouldn't have him be a part of anything that I was doing.
I mean, I'm not going to say that it hasn't hurt, because I think not speaking to you and not being a part of your life and being there for the birth of your first kid and sharing holidays together, that's probably been the hardest thing for me, and also just knowing that there's also been a huge void in my kid's lives not having their uncle around. It was never my intention to hurt you.
I think.
For myself, letting Manny into my life at the point in time, which I did, was for my own healing. I think for me, the young or thing that I really struggle with is I didn't know when we stopped talking. I didn't know that I had to make a choice. I didn't know that I had a choice. I didn't know that it was him or you, because I would have chose you every single time. It was never about me sharing information about what was going on in your
lives and betraying you, guys in any way. It was simply because I felt I needed to get past certain things, and that was the purpose behind it all.
Now that's out of the way. You don't still talk to him right now.
It's been quite a few years. It was at least three years.
Ago, okay, So I mean, after everything we've been through, what was it like talking to our father?
Definitely very guarded. I wanted to see if he would show remorse for the things that he knew really tore us apart as a family that he did. Did he no, you know, to this day, I don't think I've ever heard him say I'm sorry.
Did he say what he was doing back then?
One of the things that he would say was that he was he was taking trips down to Washington, d C. Somehow he became a lead photographer or a reporter. He had met Obama. But the way he would explain it was that, you know, he had a tight relationship with him.
It was with Obama.
Yeah.
Yeah. Then it came to, you know, closer to you know, the most recent elections where you know, Trump was Trump was running and all of a sudden, meeting Trump and like he met Trump. That's that's what he had said.
That's crazy. He said that he met Obama. He said that he met Trump on Facebook. I looked him up his profile pictures with Biden. That means he met the three sitting presidents.
Yeah, he has somehow put himself in a position where he has made these connections.
Do you remember when we were kids, how we would use different accents when he would be on the phone with people.
Yeah, he had a furniture business and people would call on different lines, and depending on what line it was, it was this one we don't answer all the time, this one we do. And then he would answer a phone call in most cases, and all of a sudden
his voice would be disguised. All of a sudden, he had this thick Israeli accent, and no he wasn't many veter and someone questioned him on the phone, he was, you know, Michael Wolfe or some other obscure name, just to avoid whatever anyone was looking for on the other end.
Yeah, I remember that as a kid. That phone was enormous and it had a million buttons on it. I've never seen a phone like that since where you're like, what is going on? And hearing him do that like you're watching you know, a movie, almost because it's just a great actor playing a part.
I remember people reaching out you, where's my furniture? I sent you money? And he always had a story as to where it was. You know it was coming. Oh, yes, I'm looking up your paperwork right now, when he had nothing in front of him. It'll be there in six weeks. I mean, it's truly crazy.
Did you ever feel like he was watching you? I felt that he was watching us, showing up at places where I wouldn't expect him to be. I felt that I always had a look over my shoulder.
So this is probably back in two thousands. I had a guy that I was dating down in the South Florida area in West Palm Beach. There was a strip that had a bunch of restaurants and bars, and we had been out for not too long. But all I remember is someone tapping me on the shoulder. And this is twenty two years later, and I will never forget it. Said, hey, they're a little lady. I turn around and it's our father. I hadn't at this point spoken to him in many years,
and I just remember being in such shock. My boyfriend at the time knew that we didn't speak, and I remember him just saying, you need to respect her wishes. And let her be and we wound up leaving, but it was almost like he was tracking me.
Jeez, But I mean, you still reached out to him years later. What made you do it?
So? I just felt that I needed to come up with my own conclusions about him now as an adult, and it's definitely helped me heal in a lot of ways. The outcome isn't what I had had hoped for, But at the same time, I don't have any doubts about whether or not the decision I made to distance myself from him was valid.
I mean, that's why I'm doing this whole podcast. And I know that I know we had our reasons for not talking to him anymore when we were younger, But what was the reason you stopped talking to him the second time?
So he had taken a trip to Israel and had met up with a great uncle of ours who was not doing well, and it was brought to my attention from that side of the family that Manny had somehow convinced him to hand off some valuable items family heirlooms to him, and that was really the last that the family saw those things, and that was the end of it. He would call I didn't answer the phone, I didn't respond to messages. I just avoided conversation with him.
That's crazy, and I mean, I'm wondering does he live in our house still?
So I'm not sure where he is now, but I can say that he's still He had the house when I last spoke with him.
Do you have his phone number?
I deleted his cell phone number, but the old house phone was working when we last spoke.
Okay, so I know this won't come as a shock or anything, but I have been seeing a therapist and one of the things we talked about was reaching out to you. But I have to say, like, after having our conversation and seeing where you were coming from, it is the exact reason why I'm doing this. It's I understand more about the decisions that you made, and I hope that I could get some of those answers that you got by talking to him, and whether it was
closure or not that that happens. And I had to say that, you know, I feel awful that so much time has gone by of us not talking and I would like us to reconnect and that this isn't just the end of it.
So too, I think one of the things that we did really well as a family was brushing things under the rug. And I think that one of the reasons why I opened myself up to I don't even want to call it a reconciliation with Manny, I want to call it more of an experiment, was because I felt it was the healthiest approach to healing and to kind
of getting those answers to some questions. Maybe things that you couldn't put into words before in your younger years, but things that I think you really need to properly close the book on if you're going to truly get past six.
Yeah, you know, I really I do appreciate you talking to me, and I know it's been forever and we never had a heart to heart, and I want to see you soon. Yeah, I feel the same, all right, they'll talk to you in six years. Reaching out to Danny and having a serious conversation was totally out of my comfort zone, but it was exactly what I needed. I now see her reasons for talking to our father again are the same as mine. To get answers and to see if he's changed. I feel like I'm ready
to reach out to him. It is March ninth, twenty twenty two and I Am Going to Call My house phone Number one Dad is a production of Radio Point, Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts, created and hosted by Gary Veter. Executive producers are Gary Veeter, Adam Lowett, Alex Bach, Daniel Powell, Huston Snyder, Kenneth Slotnik, and Brian Stern. Written by Gary Veeter and Adam Lowett, Produced by Bernie Kaminsky. Co producer is Taylor Kowalski, Edited and mixed by Ian
Sorrentino at Little Bear Audio. Recording engineer is kat Iosa. Original music by Andrew Gross. Special thanks to Charlotte DeAnda Jonathan carsh Is creative consultant. Executive producers for Big Money Players Network and iHeart podcast are Will Farrell, Hansani and Olivia Aguilar. Sound services were provided by Great City Posts.