Can We Talk About Dad?

Previously on Number one.

Dad, it may have been the greatest scam for a sports fan, posing as a Sports Illustrated Kids reporter with your dad and getting into all the games, not to mention the locker rooms was.

A kid, Did you love it?

Nor would you get tired of it?

Eventually I got tired of it. My dad was a comment in everyday life. I love sports, he loved lying.

Sully is very young.

But let's say that he hears about all the stuff that you and your dad did, Madison Square Garden, meeting all these athletes. What if he wants to try it with you?

With you, what would you say?

I would say that those are different times and that it's always best to be honest. And my role model wasn't the best role model, and I'm trying to be the best role model for you.

You didn't tell me a lot about your father for a long time.

That's my wife Ali.

When we first started dating, I kept her in the dark about my relationship with my dad.

He was kind of a really big mystery. I knew that your relationship with him was strained, that you didn't speak to him, But then you know, when you told me a bunch of the different stories and stuff like that. I mean, it blew my mind. Honestly, it was obvious that it had impacted your.

Life, Manny Veter.

My father was a full blooded comment who never told the truth about anything.

Ever.

As a teenager, I couldn't stand the way he was, so twenty four years ago I cut him out of my life completely. We didn't speak, no emails or texts. I didn't want anything to do with them. But I just had a son of my own, which brought up a ton of old memories of my childhood and made me wonder, where is my dad now?

You better hope that your dad doesn't find out about this before you're ready to talk to him.

What do you think he would do if he finds out?

I mean, based off of everything you've told me, he would probably sue everybody involved.

This is number one death.

Gary.

What's up man?

Hey buddy.

That's my producer, Adam Lowett. I've known him for a while. We met back when I was an intern at The Daily Show in two thousand and six. When he was working there, I used to have to get him coffee and bagels every morning. He's incredibly talented. I owe him big time. For being a part of this and frankly, I couldn't do it without him. He also wrote to Centro, so I did some investigating, and I basically, I mean,

I mean, maybe there's even more.

This is just from a Google search, but some of the cases that came up. He sued her she Park, claiming he broke a rib on one of their rye he did a slip and fall at our hometown movie theater and then took them to court. And he also sued Geico a bunch for what I presume are all false insurance claims. I also unblocked him on Facebook and I couldn't see anything other than his friend list and his profile pick.

But his profile pick is of him and Joe Biden.

And how he did that, How he met Joe Biden that I don't know.

But where they at Madison Square Guarden.

No, And that's the other thing.

I assume he didn't meet him legitimately but like, how are you meeting the president under you know, non legitimate terms?

Oh my god, it's so fascinating.

But this is the thing, this is how I grew up. But so far, this is all I was able to find. So paid right, that would that would be nice? Uh? And that would make that would make this podcast much easier too, if paid you three dollars a monthly?

Fe right?

And I know he said, you're going to go talk to your mom soon and ask her to be on the podcast.

So that's the thing.

I have shows this weekend and I'm going to be traveling, so I can't can't do it till early next week. I'm going to bring Ali with me when I go meet her, so that should hopefully.

Yeah, exactly.

I think my mom will be open to talking if Ali's there, that's like my best shot.

And I'm also going to bring Sullivan along too.

And I know I'm pulling the same kind of moves bringing Sali along the same way my dad would bring me along to soften people up. But I feel our situations are pretty different and it also worked. My father was the ultimate shyster who is a master at manipulating the court system. He was so confident in his knowledge of law that he even represented himself in the divorce between him and my mom. He was always one step

How are you feeling about everything?

I mean this, obviously, this whole thing is very heavy and just I mean I haven't talked about my dad ever to her, and just even me talking out loud, you know, and you know, to you, And to be doing this publicly is a lot. Talking about my father and eventually seeking him out is going to bring up a lot of emotions that I buried a long time ago. So I thought it'd be best to sit down with

I really want to honor that you're coming in to do this individual work. I recalling couple's work was sort of difficult to.

Talk about your dad and your family history with your dad.

I talked to Ali about it, and I said that I'm going to go back to Babta and talk to her about my dad. It's so weird for me to even say my dad because it's like I normally refer to him. I call him Manny, I call him by his first name.

I do recall how hard it was for you to speak about your dad, and it was hard to even bring him in as someone that had been somewhat part of your life.

One of the things that made me stop caring about my father because of the way that he treated my mom.

Is she aware Gary that you're thinking of, you know, baby meeting your father?

Just no, So I have to That's another thing that I have to talk to her, and that's you know, that's a it's a tough thing to bring up my dad, so you.

Need to be prepared of her reaction.

When I was a teenager, the arguments between my parents became it every day occurrence. My father's constant schemes and court cases began to take its toll on my family, and bills were piling up. My mom told my dad she wanted a divorce, and that's when things got really bad. To make matters worse, my father put me in the middle of it.

Gary, it sounds like you had to find ways to survive at a young age.

Yeah, you know, if I asked him for lunch money in high school, he would say, ask your mom, even though lunch is a dollar fifty five, So then I'd ask her, And then she wasn't working. She was a stay at home mom, so she only had money that my father would give her, which was in a good situation of being when they obviously are having problems, and

Your photo copy dollar bills right for lunch money. What I'm noticing, Gary, is that your dad didn't just model these questionable behaviors, but he encouraged it.

However, I do think of things that he did that was great too, And that's kind of what brings me here is that, you know, I don't know if it was all bad.

You're about to enter into a pretty intense journey. Are you afraid at all about how things are going to turn out?

I mean, yeah, I'm afraid.

I'm going to be talking to a whole bunch of different people that are from my past and my dad's past, and there's a chance that somebody may reach out to him before I'm even ready to talk to him. And you know, there's also like, if I opened the door to him, there's a chance that he hurts me and my family all over again. As a comic, I'm on the road all the time, and right now I'm traveling with comedians Sam Morrell. Sam is one of the funniest people and one of my close friends. We have a

It's funny, I've knew you for years before I knew this stuff. So I was like, oh, Gary's like a normal guy, but like everyone's got their thing.

Yeah.

When I started doing stand up, because of my relationship with my father and how I didn't want to like have my last name become anything veet, I went as Gary Roy basically because of Rodney Dangerfield was Jack Roy. So I was like you and as Gary Roy yeah for like the first six months, and I was just like, let me try and build something and stand up under this you know, pseudonym. And it was just so whenever somebody would bring me up, it just didn't it didn't

It's unusual because you actually, for a joke, I are pretty autobiographical. A lot of joke people who do the misdirect style that you do, it's like all lies, but you're very honest in your act.

Yeah, I really do.

But you avoid that, but you do avoid that.

I avoid it, and part of my thinking I don't want to give my dad any credit. I don't want him to think that I came up with a joke for him, and then I'm thinking about him.

It's for you at the end, I know, like that to me, that says that you have anger toward him, and you should the fact that you don't want to give him anything, right, But I mean, you're making this podcast from meet like early bits where like you know, people would say, you know, is your biological father or good dad? And I'd be like, if he were, I probably wouldn't refer to him as my biological father.

Love that jet they were quick laughs.

Yeah. It's like I showed Ali a picture of him once and she was like, you look like him, and I was like, it makes me so upset.

How do you feel about looking like someone that you don't like?

I know, it's tough. I mean I wish I looked like you know, Bradley Cooper. I wish that was the case. I didn't really feel like I had an incredibly fulfilling childhood. My parents were constantly fighting, and to a point where they weren't physically fighting but it was crazy yelling that would constantly go on where cops would get called by.

Either my mom or my dad. Damn.

And it's pretty embarrassing when you're a kid living in a pretty like nice house and cops would just be outside, and you know, I have friends in the neighborhood where next day at school they'd be like.

So, why were cops outside? And you kind of just curl into a ball where you're just like, oh.

It was just had like a little health scare in the house, just trying to make up anything, not knowing if they buy it or not. I would be so embarrassed. I wouldn't even have friends come over my entire high school life. I didn't have friends come over my house. I was too embarrassed because I didn't know what was going to happen between my parents.

Damn.

By the spring of my sophomore year of high school, I knew there was no way I was going to be able to make it another two years living under the same roof as my parents. Both my sisters had left for college, and I was all alone. It was just me and my dog Kobe. I knew some kids through playing hockey that went to a private boarding school in Massachusetts, and I saw this as my way out. So I filled out all the paperwork, and in a surprise joint decision, my parents both agreed to send me away.

Did you blame me they're your parents, or did you like they're just both they can't get it together?

Well, I was blaming my dad, and like I was really you know, when I was saying I had a bad childhood, it's tough because my childhood is what also shaped me to be who I am.

So I appreciate that.

I mean, you have to appreciate your experiences, I think and look at the positive things that have come from it. So at the time, I was definitely angry, more angry at my dad than my mom. It seemed my dad was really mistreating my mom and I didn't understand why. And he would talk to me about it and he'd be like, when you get older, you'll understand. Well, it's like I'm older and making a whole podcast to try and figure this shit out.

Yeah.

Was he a charming guy though?

Yeah, he would get things out of people that that, you know, you'd be surprised he'd be able to pull off anything. I mean, you know the you know, the sports stories that he was able to do. And then he has some other other con stuff that I've heard stories about that I'm gonna ask other family members.

Well, you ever worried for safety. I mean, this is like kind of sketchy stuff.

I blocked it out for so long, But as a kid, people were constantly showing up at our house pissed at my father, yelling at him on our front lawn, and it was always about money. I remember one instance when a man dressed in a suit rang the doorbell like fifty times in a row. My dad told my family to be quiet and not answer the door. Then this guy walks around to the back of our house and

Do you ask your mom ever about this?

No, wouldn't We went and talk about it to this today.

I have not talked to my mom about my father in twenty four years.

Wow.

Yeah, I haven't mentioned him. She has no idea I'm doing this podcast yet. I'm going to her house with Ali as soon as we get off the road. I'm going to ask her if she'll be on it, and I have no idea what she'll say.

Be great at the end of this podcast, your dad just like charms you today. He cons you and you're just another victim of this. You're like, it's possible. I turned out he was a great guy and I was wrong.

Man.

Yeah, I mean I'm opening up Pandora's box by letting him into my life. For sure. It's so crazy to think about my parents being married. I have zero memories of them being happy together or even liking each other. But I know it happened because I found this old tape of them on vacation.

Hi, honey, right, what do you want to get to say?

Letting the kids.

Having a great time too?

Bid?

You couldn't make it.

That's them in the Cayman Isle.

But even my parents' vacation was rooted in one of my father's lies. The only way they were able to go was because my dad entered a contest in the early nineties on Fox five's Good Day New York. They were looking for someone with the worst first date story, and the winner got a free trip to the Caribbean. This was a walk in the park for my father.

He went on live.

TV, where his completely fabricated story beat out three other contestants.

We really miss your kids, We really do.

Yeah, Mommy, you miss Gary.

Oh, I miss Gary and miss Scanny.

I really do think that used your practice because you're told where your mother is terrible.

You can't be nasty while you're asking her for a fever.

I'm not going to be. It's not asking her favorite. So here I am driving to my mom's house with Ali and our son Sullivan to ask if she'll be on the podcast.

When is the last time that you spoke about your father with your mom?

When?

Seriously when never.

We've been together ten years and I have not once heard your mom mention your dad ever, like ever, even when she talks about like you as a baby, or your childhood.

Or anything like that. I've never once heard her mention him.

Yeah, she's not a big fan.

You know, obviously she's not meaning that has not been a topic of conversation in ten years. And you can't even have a conversation with her about like egg salad.

I mean, honestly, I think your mother is going to be so taken aback.

Yeah, I mean, what are you gonna say?

I am going to say that I am doing a podcast and don't doing it about well, I'm going to get to that. I want to say, I'm doing a podcast. It's about my childhood, but it's mainly about my relationship with my father, and I'm interviewing different people, people that know him, and you know him, don't you. Well, so say something like that, Yeah, I may need your help on this.

You need me to put it by two cents.

In just here and there, Like, God, you're gonna be there when I'm saying I know.

And I'm like so uncomfortable about it.

All right, boy, you're ready, yep, as ready as I'll ever be.

God. All right, Sally, see Granny.

Despite all my preparation, I was still nervous about bringing up my father to my mom. I kept waiting for the perfect moment, but there is never a right time to bring up the man who made her life. Hell, so as we sat down for lunch, I decided it was now or never. So I have something to tell you. It's good news. I sold the podcast to iHeartRadio. But there is a catch.

It's about my father.

That sound you heard was my mom's fork literally dropping out of her hand.

Well, that didn't go as I'd hoped.

That was really intense, and my heart breaks for your mom. That's the first time I've ever seen you and your mom cry together, which was like.

Pretty nuts.

I think you need to understand her hesitation, obviously because your father hasn't gone after you the past twenty years.

You know, I went in there and wanted to ask her to help me.

Yeah, but in helping you, I mean I.

Blocked out a lot of those things.

I realized that her experience, although my experience was also bad, she had it even you know, she had it the worst.

And you know, I mean the fact that she was even she was even talking to me about the things yeah, that we never talked about before, was I mean, that was amazing.

And you're her mother clawed her way out of an unbelievably impossible situation, the potential for there to be any repercussions on her Negatively, of course, why would your mother want to do that.

He made her life a living health and right now he's not any has nothing to do with her life.

Yeah, but this would open up the door, even if.

She doesn't say anything bad, like than any of the bad stuff, which you know would obviously give them more reason to come after her.

But I get just mentioning his name.

I get what you're looking for, the origin story, anything like that, But I think her fears that if he even hears her speaking his name.

It's ammunition.

Right.

I don't know what to do.

You're gonna keep going.

I mean, her not saying anything from the woman who would do anything for you, which I believe your mother would in a heartbeat, speaks volumes. It validates that he even more. You know, I was not expecting you to cry. I feel closer to your mother, But that also must have been really hard for you, Like you were crying with your mom. When's the last time your mom saw you cry? I don't know exactly, because you buried a lot of this stuff.

Yeah, you're gonna cry again.

It's okay, Babida Bibeta. We in an emergency session.

That's the thing is, I'm not going to be able to control him as.

Much as I remember him being a piece of garbage in my childhood. I I wish, you know, I wish he was just like the Sports Illustrated.

Story, But it's not.

You can twist like the Sports Illustrated stuff like you can you can play with a lot of the things that happened to shed a positive light on them. There is it's impossible to shed a positive light on any of your mom's experience.

That's the problem.

And even if she's talking about their first date and stuff like that, it's still mentioning him.

Listen, we're doing this, We're in this, and I'm with you till the freaking end.

But I think you saying, and you are very smart, but you can what you just said, you cannot control him, I think is right. Don't underestimate the power of what could happen.

On the next episode of Number one Dad.

So what do you think is the hardest part about having a comment for a father?

It was the domino effect of one lie after another led to our family really just falling apart.

Maybe I was naive at the time, but he knew how to do certain things.

He knew how to manipulate people.

He had met Obama, but the way he would explain it was that, you know, he had a tight relationship with him.

Number One Dad is a production of Radio Point, Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts, created and hosted by Gary Veter. Executive producers are Gary Veter, Adam Lowett, Alex Bach, Daniel Powell, Huston Snyder, Kenneth Slotnik, and Brian Stern. Written by Gary Veeter and Adam Lowett, Produced by Bernie Kaminsky. Co producer is Taylor Kowalski, Edited and mixed by Ian Sorrentino at Little Bear Audio.

Recording engineer is kat Iosa.

Original music by Andrew Gross Special thanks to Charlotte DeAnda. Jonathan karsh Is creative consultant. Executive producers for Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts are Will Farrell, Hans Sonni and Olivia Aguilar. Sound services were provided by