Two years and 115 episodes later, Sex Lives calls it quits. To figure out how to end things, host Maureen O'Connor invites her original co-hosts David Wallace-Wells and Allison P. Davis back into the studio to discuss breakup etiquette and stories from favorite Sex Lives guests and listeners. Dan Savage talks about the time he dumped a guy on Thanksgiving weekend. Ask a Clean Person's Jolie Kerr ponders an ex who had mildew on his breath. A listener shares audio from a breakup announced on Faceb...
Jun 16, 2017•36 min
Linda Rosenkrantz was an art-world 'it' girl when, in the summer of 1965, she started carrying a reel-to-reel tape recorder everywhere she went, recording conversations at the beach, during parties, and after S&M hookups with New York City's wildest men. Those tapes turned into her lightning-rod novel Talk in 1968— the same year that New York Magazine launched. (And devoted a spread to the bikini-clad Linda.) Fifty years later, Rosenkrantz revisits her memories of that summer— and plays neve...
Jun 09, 2017•31 min
Alyssa Shelasky returns with an update on life as a mom who used an anonymous sperm donor to have a baby: One year later, she isn't single, anymore. Alyssa is house-hunting with the boyfriend her daughter calls "Daddy." (Not that anyone was prepared for the time she screamed "Dada!" during a silent moment in front of a crowd.) Also up for discussion: the delicate process of blending families, falling in love fast, and learning how to have sex with her bra on. (Breastfeeding changed everything.) ...
Jun 02, 2017•30 min
As a teenager in Louisiana, Myisha Battle learned about sex from textbooks censored with Sharpie markers. Today, she's a San Francisco-based sex coach dedicated to helping other women orgasm— and to squirt, which is an ability Myisha personally hones with pilates. Myisha explains her job, fields calls from Sex Lives listeners, and explains the wide world of orgasm in ways that confuse and shock host Maureen O'Connor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
May 26, 2017•34 min
In the horny imaginations of Harry Potter super-fans, Professor Snape is a BDSM sex god and Hermione Granger is a squirter. So say Potterotica hosts Allie LeFevere, Lyndsay Rush, and Danny Chapman, who explore the mind-bending universe of Harry Potter erotica every week— complete with dramatic readings. They explain which magic spells are the best for sex; why nobody fantasizes about Ron Weasley; and how a tech-savvy grandmother became the steamiest Potterotica writer on the web. With Maureen O'...
May 19, 2017•26 min
He's been telling Americans how to fuck for 26 years, and he's still not done. Dan Savage reflects on his unlikely career and tells stories from his own sex life— including losing his virginity in a cosplay three-way with his brother's ex, falling in love with unattainable men, screwing up his son's "sex talk," coming out of the closet to his mother, and the gay priest who helped her understand him. With Maureen O'Connor. Call 646-494-3590 to leave voicemail for Sex Lives. Learn more about your ...
May 12, 2017•52 min
Gay marriage has moved to the mainstream, but has wedding culture followed? What parts of wedding culture are worth keeping, anyway? Sex Lives assembles a panel of gay writers to discuss their personal experiences navigating the sexual politics and social minefields of getting hitched. Bon Appetit's Kurt Soller recalls debating which boyfriend should propose. Vocativ's Ben Reininga wonders whether his proposal was just a DTR. And Curve Magazine's Marcie Bianco explains why she cut to the chase a...
May 05, 2017•29 min
Does dating suck because you’re awkward, or are you awkward because it’s a date? Ty Tashiro, psychologist and author of Awkward: The Science of Why We’re Socially Awkward and Why That’s Awesome, explains why steeling yourself and weathering the first five minutes of awkwardness is usually worth it. “Don’t be a wallflower,” he says, meaning it literally: research shows that location is a powerful predictor of social success. But what if our love lives need awkwardness? Host Maureen O’Connor wonde...
Apr 28, 2017•33 min
Jo Piazza was working as a travel editor when she met a man, married him— and spent the next year traveling to dozens of countries together, asking how marriage works in each place. She visits Sex Lives to revisit what she learned from women in Chile, Israel, Tanzania, India, France, Denmark, and beyond— and why, after discovering that she had a genetic mutation associated with muscular dystrophy, she climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro with her husband. (And competed in a rare Finnish sport called "wife-ca...
Apr 21, 2017•27 min
A listener calls Sex Lives with a harrowing story about accidentally destroying her husband's penis with Lysol, and Maureen enlists Ask a Clean Person columnist Jolie Kerr to help her sort out the ensuing mess. Also up for discussion: sex stains, masturbation messes, sexual etiquette for houseguests, and a theory about why Oscar the Grouch would make a great husband? To leave a voice message for Sex Lives, call 646-494-3590. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices...
Apr 14, 2017•25 min
Yes, it's a thing. Brian J. Moylan reports from the wild world of cosmetic procedures for male sex organs, starting with the time he cryonically froze his penis. (The shrinkage was intense.) He also introduces us to the growing field of "anal rejuvenation," which includes laser therapy, plastic surgery, Botox, bleaching, tightening, and loosening. All of which raises the question: What makes a butthole beautiful, anyway? Call 646-494-3590 to weigh in with a voice message. Learn more about your a...
Apr 07, 2017•29 min
E.J. Dickson, who last visited Sex Lives while pregnant, returns with her two-month-old baby in tow. She recounts taking an Uber to the hospital while her water was breaking, and feeling her uterus lifted out of her body during the C-section. Demanding a shot of whiskey after returning from the hospital, and giving up on breastfeeding. Watching her son be circumcised by a rabbi, and then tossing his foreskin out with the trash. Motherhood is wild. Call 646-494-3590 to leave voicemail for Sex Liv...
Mar 31, 2017•28 min
Where is the best place in America to fall in love? When Cosmopolitan asked Jada Yuan to find out, she flew to six wildly different locales (and her hometown of New York) to look for love in every damn place. She came away exhausted—and more optimistic than ever. From the small-town romantics of South Carolina, to the shirtless male models of Los Angeles, to the kinky dairy farmers of South Dakota, to making out in cars in Detroit, these are her stories. Leave a voicemail about your hometown’s d...
Mar 24, 2017•43 min
Ella Dawson has herpes, and talking about it is sort of her thing. She writes herpes-themed erotica; she gave a TED talk about herpes; she celebrates the day she was diagnosed with herpes; and her activism on sexually-transmitted diseases earned praise from Hillary Clinton. All this, and she's only had two outbreaks— which is a pretty standard experience. Ella gets real about dating with herpes, enjoying unprotected sex, and getting her sexual education from Harry Potter fan fiction. And before ...
Mar 17, 2017•31 min
Rachel Kramer-Bussel was a law student in the late '90s when an erotic fantasy about Monica Lewinsky changed her life— by inspiring her to drop everything and pursue a career in erotic literature. Today, Kramer-Bussel has written or edited more than erotica books, including the annual Best Women's Erotica of the Year anthology. With a new volume in stores, Rachel visits Sex Lives to talk about her weirdest fantasies; what she's learned from two decades in the erotica business; and the terrors of...
Mar 10, 2017•23 min
Host Maureen O'Connor tries VR porn for the first time and is horrified. She's not the only one— the technical demands of the new medium has male performers struggling to stay turned on, too. But here's the weirdest part: VR porn fans aren't that into the hardcore stuff. They just want to cuddle with their virtual porn-star girlfriends. Vocativ senior staff writer Tracy Clark-Flory explains how virtual reality is changing the very nature of pornography. Call 646-494-3590 to join the conversation...
Mar 03, 2017•27 min
Cindy Gallop dates younger men— which is how she discovered that younger men seem to have received their sexual educations from porn. To balance the myths of hardcore porn with reality, she founded Make Love Not Porn, a video sharing network that is "pro-sex, pro-porn, pro-knowing the difference." As in, a social media network where people show themselves having sex... naturally. Cindy and Make Love Not Porn's chief curator, Sarah Beall, invited Sex Lives to Cindy's Manhattan apartment to explai...
Feb 24, 2017•30 min
“Every relationship can be based on love, even if it lasts only fifteen minutes.” That’s one of the beliefs that drove a movement to reinvent America’s understanding of sex, civic responsibility, and social welfare in the 1980s, says David France, director of AIDS activism documentary How to Survive a Plague.With a new era of activism emerging today, France revisits the hope and heartbreak of his youth during the AIDS crisis— and offers lessons from his generation’s hard-won victories. With Maur...
Feb 17, 2017•36 min
"You can't play it cool on Snapchat," says Priscilla Pine. And that's why it's the best for flirting. The pseudonymous technology-first sex writer came on Sex Lives to explain the different flirtation techniques each app on your phone requires— and the surreptitious information you can glean. Also up for discussion: when to save sex for the morning after; when to have sex before the date; the art of the Instagram "deep like"; and what technology can teach us about love— like the side-eye emoji, ...
Feb 10, 2017•23 min
"I think it's a myth that you can't be a little bit pregnant because I've been a little bit pregnant for about six years," says Andrea Syrtash, founder of the Pregnantish.com. She explains: to be "a little bit pregnant," or pregnant-ish, is to be in a perpetual state of pregnant anticipation— as in, going through fertility treatment. Her new website is about the trials, tribulations, and weird-ass sex you have when you switch from lovemaking to baby-making. With Maureen O'Connor. Call 646-494-35...
Feb 03, 2017•17 min
L is the first letter of LGBTQ, but often remains misrepresented and on the fringe. This week, two generations of queer women discuss the state of the modern lesbian. Slate staff writer Christina Cauterucci, who is in her 20s, explains why her generation of gender-fluid queers often resists "lesbian." Slate's Double X co-host June Thomas, who is in her 50s, discusses the lesbian radicalism of her youth and its role in modern feminism. And both women agree on one thing: It can be damn hard to fin...
Jan 27, 2017•42 min
To honor the presidential inauguration, Sex Lives assembles a panel of politically thoughtful (and sexually perverse) minds to reflect on the sexual absurdity of Donald Trump and modern politics. Daily Beast senior editor Erin Gloria Ryan and Vocativ editorial director Ben Reininga consider: Do you believe Donald Trump's pee rumor? Would you pee on a president? Could a sloppy night with Mike Pence help to achieve world peace? Meanwhile, host Maureen O'Connor admits her boyfriend is registered as...
Jan 20, 2017•20 min
For decades, conventional and scientific wisdom held that pornography warped our understanding of sex, attraction, and love. But a new generation of scientists are unable to replicate those early findings. Why did porn stop bothering us? Have we become numb— or were earlier generations just paranoid? Science writer Daniel Engber explains those findings— and his own sojourns through the strange, sordid, and occasionally sublime world of extreme fetish porn. Sure, you're cool with run-of-the-mill ...
Jan 13, 2017•23 min
Scott and Julie Rising have been leading parallel lives since birth. The fraternal twins were raised in Alaska. Julie was the tomboy star of her hockey team; Scott preferred musical theater. Each came out as gay after leaving Alaska. Now, with Scott living a thoroughly cosmopolitan life in New York, and Julie in red-state Idaho, the twins come together to discuss their divergent, twinned lives across cultural and gender divides. Call 646-494-3690 to weigh in. With Maureen O'Connor. Learn more ab...
Jan 06, 2017•21 min
"Coming out to my dad as an atheist was 100 times harder than coming out as gay." Before Christopher Trout became Engadget's executive editor and Computer Love columnist— before his career in gay porn and before he started building a genderqueer family of his own— he was the son of Methodist minister Rev. Dr. Steve Trout. A former Texas football star, Rev. Trout married his childhood sweetheart at age eighteen— and taught Sunday School sex-ed to his own son. With Christmas in the air, the pious ...
Dec 30, 2016•43 min
Every week, Sex Lives invites listeners to respond with their stories. This week, we listen— and call you back. Meet a left-handed man with a right-handed sex life, a mother whose natural childbirth triggered a sexual awakening, and a black man grappling with sexual racism from people who don’t know he’s black. Call 646-494-3590 to tell us more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Dec 23, 2016•35 min
At 40, Glynnis MacNicol realized she didn't want to be a mother, and didn't need a partner. And then she discovered newly exhilarating sexual and romantic freedom: Suddenly, she was traveling the world, entertaining— and rejecting— younger paramours, Parisian flirtations, and 22-year-old cowboys everywhere she went. Now 42, Glynnis is working on a memoir and stopped by Sex Lives to tell 32-year-old host Maureen O'Connor what the next decade of life could hold. Call 646-494-3590 with your thought...
Dec 16, 2016•36 min
In the seventh month of her pregnancy, E.J. Dickson found herself with the libido of a teenage boy— including a desire to watch hardcore pornography, the kind of terrifying gang-bangs she'd never seen or sought before. Before her pregnancy, E.J. was a journalist who wrote about sex. Then, mid-pregnancy, she lost her job, reinvented, and became an editor at Romper, a parenting site for millennials. E.J. discusses her new career, her new boobs, pregnant masturbation, and fighting strangers who don...
Dec 09, 2016•25 min
Sometimes, love is a private feeling between two people. Other times, it's a declaration from the rooftops, a wedding announcement, or a public kiss. For the last three years Andrea Silenzi has been broadcasting her love life— and disasters— on her podcast Why Oh Why. She recorded her first date with her most recent boyfriend, as well as fights and their heartbreaking split. But she also blurs the truth— taking a cue from inspired-by-life novelists, she blends fact with fiction and invites actor...
Dec 02, 2016•23 min
Who's coming to Thanksgiving? For Christopher Trout, the list includes his father, a preacher from rural Texas; his boyfriend, a cop he met on Grindr; his baby mama, a ciswoman to whom he donated sperm; his baby papa, a transman with whom he once hooked up; and his mom. Trout, who is Engadget's executive editor, returns to Sex Lives to discuss family, fertility, why discovering his sexuality meant losing his faith, and how he found peace inside a porn star's anus. With Maureen O'Connor. Leave a ...
Nov 24, 2016•32 min
