Show Notes: I’m a father and The Diaper Party Fiasco/ having a baby is weird (4:30)/ Being an old dad (9:35)/ A sitcom dad struggle (12:00)/ Such arc and power (16:00)/ Old dad wisdom (19:07)/ Reach for the Aggro-Crag (24:00)/ Charcuterie Boards (26:10)/ Diaper Party (Reprise) (29:06)/ Would Tommy even hold a baby? (32:05)/ Turning 41 (33:00)/ Changing the name of the podcast (38:30)/ The cool toys (41:00)/ The quality of the toy aisle determines the quality of the store (44:00)/ Captain Power (...
Dec 01, 2022•1 hr 9 min•Season 10Ep. 302
Busking for jokes/ street corner comedy/ The Benny Hill (6:30)/ getting ran over as an adult (7:55)/ The short sock era (11:30)/ “see my forbidden ankles “/ drip (14:40)/ Doing it for a living (20:00)/ hiking trips (22:40)/ active tick alerts (31:00)/ small town bar experiences (32:50)/ Dollar General is a scam (36:24)/ Tommy comedy and big announcements (40:02)/ changing the podcast name (58:50)
Jul 27, 2022•59 min•Season 10Ep. 301
Hey. It's our 300th episode. 10 years, 300 episodes. And we celebrate by doing absolutely nothing special. Enjoy! Batman and Robert/ Have you ever been hot? (2:20)/ I got stuff to do (4:56)/ Getting stuck in these rituals (8:00)/ Eating hot things and everything’s a challenge (10:15)/ Flaming Hot Mt Dew (15:40)/ Episode 300 (20:35)/ Tommy, age 22 (23:40)/ “these hairy cheeks hide a dangerous secret” (25:30)/ Bathtub calamities (29:40)/ Shave your arm! (39:40)/ Randy is funny (38:00)/ College ori...
Jun 29, 2022•1 hr 1 min•Season 10Ep. 300
Getting looked at/ Tommy’s fashion (2:50)/ The worst career choice in the world (5:50)/ Tommy’s dad is better at comedy (22:00)/ The Great Humbling (23:50)/ The upper peninsula (26:42)/ When Tommy met Jay Mohr (30:32)/ The signing (36:00)/ playing 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon using Tommy (45:00)
Jun 13, 2022•57 min•Season 10Ep. 299
This episode was recorded live during Livestream for the Cure VI, the yearly livestreaming event in which indie podcasts from all over the world join together to help raise money for cancer research via listener donations. This episode isn't like a normal MRS, but it's lot of fun and you'll also hear Nick from Nikoli's Kitchen and Dan from Netflix n' Swill join in on the fun.
Jun 05, 2022•1 hr 2 min•Season 10Ep. 298
The Dad Joke Instinct/ The only chance for the middle ager (3:30)/ a briefcase of dads (4:00)/ bad luck (9:30)/ make me Taco Bell, Gordon Ramsay (16:00)/ “you know what bothers me about people lately…” and parking lot stories (22:24)/ rounding up because of a coin shortage (34:20)/ a bathtub I can baseball in (38:00)/ Darren McCarty (42:00)/ Parody the Pun (53:00)/ Jay Mohr (1:04:46)
Jun 03, 2022•1 hr 14 min•Season 10Ep. 297
The end of this one was cut off due to techincal difficulties, but you won't even miss it. Promise. Birds are the harbingers of cool/ bird watching is an extreme sport/ Tommy ate bird poop (4:34)/ go ahead and spy on me (6:00)/ the fine art of watching (11:00)/ bird shaming (12:24)/ for the birds (16:45)/ Chicago jet setter (22:00)/ how many people has Will Smith slapped in his life? (25:10)/ seeing the great Mike Birbiglia (27:00)/ the sweater vested bearded Chad (28:00)/ millennial stall rules...
May 18, 2022•55 min•Season 9Ep. 296
The stupid things that people like/ a mad libs podcast (1:25)/ The Oscar Meyer Weinermobile and Tommy hates hot dogs/ the manager’s wingman (7:35)/ The hotdogger (11:50)/ Bulldacious (17:40)/ ice falls (19:00)/ Breaking Tommy’s back (20:00)/ warts and all (29:00)/ missed connections - lady package thief (34:00)/ a new way to speed date (39:00)/ Jay Mohr (43:10)/ Livestream for the Cure/ Alcohol (46:00)/ missed connections - looking problems (50:25)/ Tommy has an entrance song (57:30)
Apr 26, 2022•1 hr 2 min•Season 9Ep. 295
Great days/ 7 am comedy (2:28)/ “some days I think I can do a back flip” (6:31)/ Tommy was a gymnast (9:20)/ fragrance (16:00)/ The traveling meat man (18:00)/ Well Done Ralph (22:50)/ Moonfall and Mac Tonight vs the Earth (29:00)/ I Like Dogs and screen saver (31:50)/ Frisbee Championships (40:00)/ a jokey-joke guy (49:00)/ Joe Millionaire (53:53)/ Jeff Dye and Tommy’s tired (59:00)/ the real problem facing earth (1:03:00)
Feb 11, 2022•1 hr 6 min•Season 9Ep. 294
Welcome to another wonderful episode of the MRS comedy program. It's our official Miserable Retail Slave Christmas Party, even though Christmas is barely mentioned. Sit back, drink some eggnog, and enjoy. A decade of mediocrity/ Barbados Rules! And Clyde, Ohio (1:30)/ Old age (3:00)/ Randy has another epiphany (6:23)/ Tommy gets stranded on Gilligan’s Island and coconut talk (7:11)/ A childhood trauma revealed (10:54)/ The holiday season is wonderful (15:20)/ Scratch off lotto tickets (19:00)/ T...
Dec 25, 2021•55 min•Season 9Ep. 293
The MRS formula revealed/ Dollar Trees vs Dollar Generals/ Condoms (6:10)/ where’s the great 80s condom mascot (9:00)/ Samuel Trojan (11:30)/ where has MRS been aka the biggest episode ever? (15:45)/ Tommy ruins everything again (20:00)/ Life is better with a puppy (34:00)/ shout out to Barbados (42:00)/ do you round up? (44:50)/ whack jobs and communist red China Ritz crackers (48:00)/ comedy magic is made (56:00)/ Tommy’s opening for Jay Mohr (1:00:00)/ Tommy manages people (1:04:10) "LIKE" us...
Dec 10, 2021•1 hr 11 min•Season 9Ep. 292
Anxiety rankings/ Bumper sticker talk (2:20)/ Redneck mudslut (4:00)/ More bumper stickers (7:50)/ Matty F’s somber tones (12:00)/ Rabbit talk (12:30)/ work singers (15:30)/ watching Hamilton (19:20)/ Thinning hair and a Bermuda Triangle of Sadness (21:15)/ Toupees in the wild/ Sad hairstyles and LA Looks (23:00)/ “give me some of them stem cells to rub on my head” (27:00)/ Matty F has babies (31:00)/ The Cats and kids metaphor (32:50)/ The hidden truth about bunnies (34:30)/ Living with kids is...
Nov 26, 2021•1 hr 12 min•Season 9Ep. 291
Cracked heads and run over/ a new safety helmet (3:00)/ The art of throwing gum in the hair (4:46)/ I can’t imagine my father getting gum in his hair (7:00)/ Damp Pants Randy (Randy is fat) (16:00)/ Andre the Giant bod (17:00)/ walking clichés (19:00)/ a lifetime membership to diabetes (22:00)/ Grimace is a Taste Bud (24:15)/ Buying Elvis hair (28:10)/ puke n’ rally (31:45)/ Naked Nirvana baby is suing (33:36) "LIKE" us on the Facebook, would ya? Even better, come join our closed Facebook crew a...
Sep 20, 2021•47 min•Season 9Ep. 290
Patrick Duffy and The Danaburger/ TGIF and Tommy’s Goonies adventures (1:00)/ I Think You Should Leave/ being afraid of TGIF (6:00)/ Tommy is afraid of Freddy Krueger (10:00)/ Tommy hears dead people and Paranormal Paranoia (13:34)/ Internotes about Internuts on the Internets: The Milk Crate Challenge (18:35)/ why do people do these challenges? (24:00)/ missed connections (26:00)/ Goat whisperer and breathtaking and plain humor (26:40)/ pick up lines and the urban legend of one-liner Chad (31:00...
Aug 30, 2021•1 hr 4 min•Season 9Ep. 289
This time, special guest cohost Matty F joins the show as we talk about time, Nuclear Man, camping misadventures, iTunes gift cards, and putting the RETAIL back in Miserable Retail Slave! Eeyore is the guest cohost tonight/ The slow March towards death: time (1:30)/ Late and early (2:30)/ awkward house parties (4:30)/ drop that beat (9:45)/ special guest Matty F from the podcast, Flummoxed (13:00)/ a Seinfeld podcast - That’s a Shame (14:00)/ putting the retail back in Miserable Retail Slave and...
Aug 18, 2021•1 hr 14 min•Season 9Ep. 288
Life happens and I make it funny/ waiting tables is crowd work/ Goosebumps and Fear Street (4:16)/ a chilling tale about a goose (6:40)/ getting a tattoo of you on yourself (7:30)/ Ghost ocean (8:20)/ The Great Cackler (9:00)/ snagging webs (9:50)/ smelling like Tom Waits’ overcoat (11:00)/ birds are bad omens (15:00)/ I have a beef to pick with you (23:10)/ Foghorn Leghorn talk and then Speedy Gonzalez talk (25:50)/ brass tacks (29:30)/ Tommy’s health scare (31:10)/ zip loc pee bags (34:15)/ MR...
Jul 27, 2021•1 hr 16 min•Season 9Ep. 287
It's the HISTORY OF UNIMPORTANT THINGS! This time, just in time for MLB's All-Star break, we talk baseball. Specifically, the history of Babe Ruth. More specifically, did Babe Ruth call his shot? It's one of the most infamous moments in sports history and we research this event and come to a decision about whether it happened or not. What did we decide? Listen and come to your own decision!
Jul 14, 2021•51 min•Season 9Ep. 286
with special guest Dennis from The Dennis Show! and Pro Wrestling Intoxicated!! Tommy loved New kids on the Block/ Homemade MC Hammer pants/ sooooo many Kathys/ getting canceled is only a matter of time/ Debates about burritos/ burrito goes Hollywood/ The unsavory thing about Taco Bell/ Shakes the Clown/ the Summer of Sandler/ Robin Williams talk/ Going Overboard and Once Bitten/ we investigate Bobcat Goldthwait/ seeking Clown Autographs/ Patches/ clown sword/ Dennis from The Dennis Show/ dating...
Jun 24, 2021•1 hr 27 min•Season 9Ep. 285
284. OnlyFeet DOT com Tommy’s Only Fans/ OnlyFeet DOT com/ Foot Fetish/ We try to understand the foot fetish/ Socks or not socks/ Foot sanitizer/ Tommy’s creed/ Thinking about that foot stool/ The favorite candy of the foot fetish/ Tommy’s Roadkill Inspection/ Tommy loves retail/ 9 year anniversary/ Old Dogs Go To Heaven/ Armchair Producer Doug Goodwin has a podcast/ HAKUNA MA’VODKA/ Is cow tipping real?/ forking/ Bea Arthur Yourself/ The Golden Girls of Podcasting/ Cosmopolitan Bookstore/ Death...
Jun 15, 2021•1 hr 8 min•Season 9Ep. 284
Inconvenience Store/ car trouble/ The Tommy voodoo doll is working/ grill vs bbq/ clean meats/ ear wax debates/ a different kind of car trouble/ lip blind/ a story of ol’ Red/ we create a new game show/ Ridiculousness/ sleepy grandpa/ tequila/ Tommy is confused by Ice Cube/ GOLD PANTHER TEQUILA/ the table of transactions/ drinking celeb tequila/ calling people is the worst thing/ strong thumbs/ laziness breeds/ arguments about Kurt Vonnegut and sci-fi/ UFOs are real/ masks/ voodoo spaghetti/ bel...
Jun 03, 2021•1 hr 12 min•Season 9Ep. 283
The things that people tell you/ “that’s crazy” is a defense mechanism/ “pull up a chair and stay awhile” acquaintances/ dream jokes/ Tommy doesn’t know Seinfeld/ Tommy saw Tim Allen/ To Frog/ The dreams of Frog Man/ Cajun Whiskey/ Greta Van Fleet/ The Larry the Cable Guy of Rock/ our phone’s are spying on us/ early mornings/ cigarette connoisseur/ Tommy’s last cigarette/ the death of the band/ what’s the earliest vivid memory that you remember? / a big fan of false memories/ the lost decades/ a...
May 03, 2021•56 min•Season 8Ep. 282
A lack of fashion common sense/ coat problems/ say no to day drinking/ Tommy’s on the sauce and went to the Story Inn/ World Wide Web/ Tommy is amazed by telephones/ did Star Trek inspire all the technology?/ Tommy hates sci-fi but loves horror/ a horror and sci fi debate/ movie talk/ Tom Selleck runs funny/ is Alien a horror film or sci fi?/ back on the positive train/ a lack of fashion common sense revisited/ a dim memory sparks up/ “we got a flood here”/ tight around the knees/ Tommy saw the ...
Apr 20, 2021•1 hr 16 min•Season 8Ep. 281
Unraveling a grand conspiracy/ this pandemic world/ your penicillins and your quarantines/ The claw machine/ no claw/ The Great Finnish Spongebob Famine/ don’t bubble wrap my pride/ come shop at the Wet Market. Our products are all moist/ bumper stickers/ skills are hard to come by/ Man people/ dollar store headphones/ Tommy saves a drum stick/ a return to the Retail Paradise/ Aisle vigilantes/ a full body toothache/ Tommy’s bug salad/ wing talk and Applebee’s/ listener Questions/ getting back i...
Apr 06, 2021•1 hr 7 min•Season 8Ep. 280
Phone germs/ untold camera tales/ Tommy the New Age Preacher/ The diary/ who’s smarter?/ a game of Price of Right/ Randy makes fun of Tommy’s philosophies/ The warrior poet of good virtue/ a hippie transformation/ going to the rock store/ 2020 didn’t exist/ The Pickle Man/ the way people say things/ Randy gets heckled for wearing a mask/ driving rants/ more gas station nonsense/ the hot dog lady/ Rolling Stone magazine/ Tommy’s not upset/ The Bomb/ Tommy’s doing comedy again/ 4-letter words Shar...
Mar 22, 2021•57 min•Season 8Ep. 279
This is a weird episode. Just a warning. We bring our B- game this time! Shark vs Bear: which is deadlier?/ a different strain of bear/ lockdown traffic was the best traffic/ the legend of Two-Shot Tommy/ toe shot/ sports dads/ coaches/ post up/ shooting your shot/ Basketball is deceitful/ athletic Tommy/ no good with organized sports/ what is fun?/ car accidents/ there’s alligators in Oklahoma/ we dissect Sam Hunt’s song, “Body Like a Back Road”/ romance novel trash/ Sam Hunt’s discography/ Tom...
Mar 03, 2021•1 hr•Season 2Ep. 278
A cynical optimist/ a nail polish mishap/ The worst break up line ever/ poison control/ scarring kids for life/ Dads live for shoveling/ Tommy talks about Marc Maron/ I have a trauma too/ poison control is still a thing/ that one time Tommy drank kerosene/ poison control blogs/ The Reese’s Pieces Debacle/ mouthbreathing/ Tommy had a great day/ The Dalai Llama/ early bedtimes/ Tommy’s career as a wedding dj/ ruining a wedding/ ruining a club/ Bam, Bam, Bam/ social media writer/ The Heights/ my ch...
Feb 21, 2021•1 hr 21 min•Season 8Ep. 277
It's the second installment of the History of Unimportant Things. This time, it's the history of Bud Light mascot, Spuds Mackenzie. Names/ beer mascots/ that first sip/ beer is a pain that you inflict on yourself/ Dean of Partyology/ the origin of Spuds Mackenzie/ Senior Party Consultant/ Spuds as a sex symbol/ ayatollah partyollah/ Spudstitutes/ 80s pop culture icons/ the image of Spuds Mackenzie/ Spuds was a man/ The Myth of Spuds/ The Andy Kaufman of Dogs/ the death rumors of Spuds/ Spuds gen...
Feb 07, 2021•39 min
Song of the Hermit Crab II/ Getting bullied and wicked wedgies/ Porker/ All animals want territory/ more Hermit Crab facts/ America’s Next Top Crab/ Never disturb Hermit crabs during the day/ greatness is not my calling just painful mediocrity/ comedian Will Green joins the show/ Will Green’s School for Wayward Youth/ Will defeats Tommy in a contest/ did you ever see Stephen King in Maine?/ Fourway/ distractions in comedy clubs/ Penis Philbin/ owning a food truck/ Foodhub/ Alan Jackson’s Chattah...
Feb 04, 2021•1 hr 19 min•Season 8Ep. 275
Randy’s respect for authority/ the police/ shenanigans at a Seven Mary Three concert/ I was an 8-year old anarchist/ The Hulk Hogans vs The Ultimate Warriors/ the middle finger/ “Do you know we’re able to see Uranus next week?”/The why is the universe so weird?/ What’s weirder space or the deep sea?/ Tripping Octopi/ The Wallflowers of the Sea/ The Orange Man/ Two Sentence Scary Stories Call The Miserable Hotline!!! (810) 328-3826 Check out our new comedy and movie podcast. We look at b-movies a...
Jan 31, 2021•36 min•Season 8Ep. 274
This is a 2-part episode! Part 2 will be released later this week. Get thrilled. Why do you talk?/ small talk/ Small talk is the junk food of conversation/ word pox/ Turn up the fun blues/ CRAB CHEESE/ Ghetto Gouda/ small talk is a straightjacket/ Why do they make public restrooms like caves?/ Tommy’s excited to be going back on the road doing all the comedy again/ Tommy’s begging for black market vaccines/ Randy learns about PBR (professional bull riding)!/ We want to interview AEW wrestler, Ju...
Jan 27, 2021•1 hr 1 min•Season 8Ep. 273
