The New Man - podcast cover

The New Man

Advice for Men to Align Career, Sex, Relationships, and Money

Episodes

Is It Healthy to Use AI for Therapy? — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

Do you talk to AI like it’s your therapist? Is it wrong to prefer interactions with a machine over a human? And how is our pursuit of comfort killing our sense of confidence and meaning? Today, Alyson and I discuss the rise of AI as a substitute for friendships and emotional support. We explore why people are forming real bonds with artificial companions, how these tools can actually help, and what we risk when we forget the value of real connection. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2025/06/ai-t...

Jun 17, 202538 minEp. 389

Why We’re Attracted to the Wrong People (and What to Do About It) — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

Why do some guys crave women who aren’t good for them? Is the “nice girl” always boring — and the “bad girl” more fun? And do we really need to put on an act just to make a relationship work? Today, Alyson and I talk about something a lot of people wrestle with — feeling torn between who we’re attracted to and who’s actually a better fit. We explore why we often contort ourselves to be accepted, how that shapes attraction, and what to do if feel like you have to choose between chemistry and conn...

Jun 03, 202551 minEp. 388

How to Have Deeper Conversations — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

Do you get drained by small talk? Does it feel like no one else likes to talk about the things you love? And how can you have deeper conversations even if you don’t see eye to eye? Today Alyson and I discuss some ways to have deeper and more meaningful conversations — even when interests don’t align. Whether you’re chatting with strangers or deepening bonds in a long-term relationship, we share a few key ideas that’ll help you get out of the shallow end of the pool. https://www.thenewmanpodcast....

May 21, 202555 minEp. 387

Should You Settle in Your Relationship? — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

Should you settle in your relationship? Do you ever wonder if there’s someone out there who’s a better fit? And could raising the bar too high leave you alone forever? Today, Alyson and I dig into the idea of “settling” in relationships. We talk about what it really means to raise your standards, how we sabotage relationships, and why it’s tempting to focus on someone else’s flaws instead of facing our own fears. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2025/05/settle-in-relationship COACHING → To learn...

May 06, 202545 min

Am I On The Wrong Path? — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

Do you ever fantasize about escaping your current life? Is fear the one setting your goals and expectations? And do you have any idea what would truly bring you peace of mind? Today, Alyson and I try to help a listener who is tired of the grind and wants to hit the eject button. We discuss how to know if you’re on the right track, why we pile on the pressure to succeed, and accessing our deeper selves to find peace of mind. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2025/04/on-the-wrong-path COACHING → To...

Apr 22, 202545 minEp. 385

Dealing with Blame and Big Emotions in Your Relationship — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

Is it easier to do a cold plunge than to deal with your partner’s emotions? If your partner’s in a bad mood, should you just be their punching bag? And do you spend more time focusing on solutions or who’s to blame? Today Alyson and I explore navigating big emotions in a partnership. We explore how to deal with intensity while also setting boundaries against aggression and good old-fashioned drama. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2025/04/dealing-with-blame-and-emotions COACHING → To learn more ...

Apr 08, 202537 minEp. 384

Striving to be Set for Life — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

What does it mean to 10X your life? Why are we so afraid to go “backwards” financially? And what’s really driving our desire for more, more, more? Today, Alyson and I talk about developing a healthy high achiever mindset. We explore scarcity, motivation, and what really drives us to be “set for life.” https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2025/03/set-for-life COACHING → To learn more about coaching with Tripp Lanier visit https://TrippLanier.com → To learn more about working with Alyson Lanier visit ...

Mar 25, 202545 minEp. 383

They Cheated on You. Now What? — Adam Nisenson, A Man’s Guide to Partner Betrayal

If your partner cheats on you, can the relationship be repaired? Is it your fault if your partner cheats? And how do men respond differently to being cheated on? Adam Nisenson is the author of A Man’s Guide to Partner Betrayal — a book specifically for men whose partners have cheated on them. We discuss why he calls infidelity a “death experience,” why it’s such a blow to our self esteem, and what not to do if you find out your partner has betrayed you. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2025/03/c...

Mar 11, 202534 minEp. 382

Can Your Sex Life Be Saved? — Ruth Ramsay

Is sex a source of frustration with your partner? Do you feel sexually rejected by them? And if you don’t push for sex, will your partner ever initiate it? Many folks — too many folks — are unsatisfied with their sex lives. This can be a huge source of frustration and resentment between partners, which can ultimately lead to affairs or divorce. But does it have to be this way? Ruth Ramsay is a sex educator, coach, and creator of a TED talk that has garnered millions of views. She’s seen inside t...

Feb 25, 202559 minEp. 381

Struggling with Spirituality — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

Do you struggle with spirituality? If you stay off the naughty list, does the Universe give you what you want like Santa Claus? And why can spirituality feel so threatening to some folks? Today Alyson and I discuss some of the ways folks relate to the unseen, mysterious world of spirituality. We explore how this relates to our fear of uncertainty, our need for control, and why some people — including me — struggle with spirituality. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2025/02/struggling-with-spirit...

Feb 11, 202547 minEp. 380

Randy Blythe (lamb of god) on Drinking, Death, and God

Do you believe you need alcohol or some other crutch to function at your best? Do fears like imposter syndrome or stage fright ever completely go away? And is it still worthwhile to be generous and kind? Randy Blythe is best known as the vocalist for the metal band, lamb of god. He’s spent decades making records and playing to massive audiences all around the world. He’s also just another guy you might see surfing. That’s how we’ve become friends. Today we dive into his new book of essays, Just ...

Jan 28, 20251 hr 3 minEp. 320

Feeling Stuck and Out of Alignment — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

Is there a voice in your head that says you need to make a change? Do you experience scarcity if you’re not always making more money? And what can you do if the things that used to light you up feel empty now? Today Alyson and I discuss what we can do when we feel out of alignment with our lives. We talk about why we don’t need to beat ourselves up, what really holds us back from making a change, and why feeling “not enough” is really an invitation to get out of the shallow end of the pool. http...

Jan 13, 202545 minEp. 310

Why Finding Your Purpose is So Frustrating — Jordan Grumet, The Purpose Code

Does it feel like your life is on hold until you figure out your purpose? What’s the real reason many folks are driven to be wealthy? And why do so many “successful” people feel burned out and empty? Dr Jordan Grumet returns to The New Man to discuss what many believe is the key to their fulfillment — purpose. He’s got a unique experience of being a doctor who helps people at the end of their lives, and he’s also a popular financial podcast host. This means he sees the gap between what is drivin...

Dec 30, 202447 minEp. 377

Why People Pleasing is Killing Your Sex Life and Career — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

Is it normal for you to forget things until someone nags you about it? Do you ever wonder why your relationships seem shallow or you miss out on career opportunities? And what does this all have to do with brown M&M’s? Today Alyson and I talk about people pleasing, nice guy syndrome, and how being checked out is killing your sex life and career. We discuss the dangers of transactional relating, why the little things matter and how you can become more trustworthy simply by saying “no” more of...

Dec 17, 202430 minEp. 376

How Being Guarded Kills Aliveness, Meaning, and Purpose — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

Are you devoted to anything other than money, security, or status? Does living with an open heart make you weak? And how is staying guarded killing aliveness? I grew up guarded and armored. For many years, I thought it was necessary and strong to cut myself off from emotional vulnerability. The truth is that I was fragile and incapable of being in emotionally challenging situations. That way of living almost destroyed me. For the last 20 years I’ve watched my wife Alyson navigate life very diffe...

Dec 03, 202455 minEp. 375

Are You Jealous About Her Sexual Past? — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

Are you the best lover your partner has ever had? How could you ever be sure? What if they preferred having sex with someone else more than you? And is sex a place where you strive to prove that you’re good enough? Today we talk about feeling jealous about our partner’s sexual history. We explore what drives that insecurity, how neediness is repulsive, and why trying to prove you’re a rockstar in bed is a big mistake. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2024/11/jealous-about-sexual-history COACHING...

Nov 19, 202437 minEp. 374

Rickson Gracie – How to Find Comfort in Darkness

Is a lack of confidence your worst enemy? What does it mean to develop mental, emotional, and spiritual strength? And how does accepting death make you stronger? Jiu Jitsu legend Rickson Gracie returns to The New Man, and we dive into the deeper topics from his new book with Peter Maguire called, Comfort in Darkness. Rickson wasn’t just a devastating opponent in the ring, he’s also a teacher that draws from a deep well of wisdom and intuition. He goes far beyond the mechanics and fundamentals to...

Nov 05, 202449 minEp. 373

Am I On The Wrong Path? — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

Do obstacles mean you're on the wrong path, or are they simply part of the journey? Is the universe conspiring against your dreams, or is it just your own fear holding you back? And what can you do if you’re struggling to find motivation or inspiration? Whether you're questioning your career path, second-guessing a major life decision, or simply feeling stuck, you’re bound to experience doubt and resistance. In this episode, we discuss finding your calling, facing inner resistance, and the fear ...

Oct 22, 202434 min

Build True Confidence by Understanding Unhealthy Self-Esteem — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

What’s the common link between workaholism, greed, and love addiction? Does your sense of self worth go up and down like a rollercoaster? And is there more to life than protecting our egos? If you’re like everyone else on the planet, then you’ve probably struggled with feeling “enough.” Today Alyson and I dive under the hood to discuss Terry Real’s unhealthy forms of self-esteem so that we can all understand what kills our true confidence. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2024/10/workaholism-gre...

Oct 08, 202440 minEp. 371

Dealing with Anger and Emotional Constipation — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

If you’re angry, is it better to bottle it up or lash out in retaliation? Do you get stuck in a loop thinking of things you should say to that jerk who pissed you off? And how is emotional constipation draining our aliveness and motivation? In this conversation, Alyson and I discuss the problems that arise with anger. For many, we feel stuck — if we say something with anger it might make the situation worse. But if we bottle it up, we become a toxic balloon that could burst at any moment. So tod...

Sep 17, 202449 min

Avoiding Vulnerability Leads to Feeling Empty — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

Is our drive for more money, more status, or more stuff really just an attempt to fill a God-sized hole in our lives? Do you ever feel awkward when expressing love to others? And how does our need for safety block us from having satisfying relationships? Today Alyson and I try to understand why love can be so challenging to receive. We discuss the ways we armor ourselves to avoid vulnerability and how we can still feel alone even when we’re with others. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2024/09/f...

Sep 03, 202435 minEp. 369

Facing the Fear of Being Alone — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

Are you with someone because you really want them or because you’re more afraid to be alone? Are you settling for junk food relationships that never satisfy and leave you feeling empty? And how does loneliness drive us to choose lousy partners? Relationships are hard and the only way to learn is to get in the mix. Today Alyson and I find some friction when it comes to dating and playing the field. We also discuss how we’ve helped ourselves and others face their loneliness so that they don’t have...

Aug 20, 20241 hr 7 minEp. 368

Is Therapy Frustrating? — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

Is the purpose of therapy to just dig up junk from your past? We talk about why many folks — including therapists we know and love — find the conventional form of therapy to be limiting. Is there another possibility? https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2024/08/frustrated-with-therapy COACHING → To learn more about coaching with Tripp Lanier visit https://TrippLanier.com → To learn more about working with Alyson Lanier visit https://AlysonLanier.com BOOK → We live in a world with more possibilities ...

Aug 06, 202439 minEp. 367

Can a Nerd Become a Stud? Reinventing Yourself — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

Can a nerd become a stud? Alyson and Tripp react to a movie called The Hitman and the topic of reinventing ourselves. This leads us to discuss pickup artists, neutered men, and handling our inner critic. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2024/07/reinvent-yourself COACHING → To learn more about coaching with Tripp Lanier visit https://TrippLanier.com → To learn more about working with Alyson Lanier visit https://AlysonLanier.com BOOK → We live in a world with more possibilities than ever before. S...

Jul 23, 202429 minEp. 366

Can You Learn to Trust Your Gut? — Mark Divine (Uncommon: Simple Principles for an Extraordinary Life)

Do you trust your gut when making decisions? Author, entrepreneur, and former Navy SEAL commander Mark Divine (Uncommon: Simple Principles for an Extraordinary Life) discusses the power of embracing our emotions, intuition, and spirituality. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2024/07/mark-divine-uncommon COACHING → To learn more about coaching with Tripp Lanier visit https://TrippLanier.com → To learn more about working with Alyson Lanier visit https://AlysonLanier.com BOOK → We live in a world wi...

Jul 09, 202458 minEp. 365

Sebastian Junger’s Near Death Experience — Sebastian Junger (In My Time of Dying)

What’s going to happen to you after you die? Is death something you ignore or something you use to enjoy your days more? And are near death experiences proof of an after life or just the brain going apeshit because it’s losing oxygen? Sebastian Junger is no stranger to death. As a war correspondent he survived an IED attack on his vehicle and spent a grueling stint in the treacherous Korengal Valley of Afghanistan. But in 2020 he came face to face with his own mortality in a very different setti...

Jun 25, 20241 hrEp. 364

Feeling Pressured to Get Married — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

Do you feel pressured to get married because you’ve been with someone a long time? Are you and your partner kicking the can down the road so you don’t have to face the reality of your challenges? And how much longer can you tolerate your relationship if it doesn’t change for the better? Today’s question comes from someone whose relationship is stuck in a rut. Their sex life is boring. They avoid difficult conversations, and he feels pressured to get married even though he has zero desire to comm...

Jun 13, 202445 minEp. 363

Motivation, Resistance, and The Cult of Success — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

Is FOMO driving you to constantly be busy, busy, busy? Is it scary to admit that the hustle and grind is killing your motivation? And when is our resistance trying to help us? Today Alyson and I discuss motivation, resistance, and the cult of success. We talk about how it’s necessary to learn how to thrive in the world, but ultimately we have to stop jumping through hoops, forge our own path, and create success on our own terms. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2024/05/motivation-success-resista...

May 30, 2024Ep. 362

Finding Your Gold and Essence — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

Do you ever feel like something is just not quite right with your life? Do you have most of what you could want but still feel like something’s missing? And who are you underneath that ambition to succeed and avoid failure? Today Alyson and I talk about why so many folks feel empty inside even though they have amazing lives on the outside. We discuss what it means to find our gold, to reveal our essential nature, and what I call the “big imposter syndrome.” https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2024/...

May 14, 202453 minEp. 361

Spiritual But Not Religious? — Alyson and Tripp Lanier

Does your BS meter keep you from having a spiritual life? Are mystical experiences just our brain chemicals fooling us to believe we have a connection with God? And is spirituality something you can cultivate on your own or should you depend on a tradition or guru? Today my wife Alyson and I talk about religion, spirituality, and just how common it is to wrestle with this stuff. I share a bit about my own messy journey as well as what it may look like to forge your own path — on your own terms. ...

Apr 30, 202446 minEp. 360
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