Polishing Turds: A Bad Music Podcast - podcast cover

Polishing Turds: A Bad Music Podcast

Nick & Calwww.buzzsprout.com

We take the worst bands you remember and give them way more attention than they deserve. Equal parts comedy and storytelling, Polishing Turds will change the way you look at pop music. Behind every bad song there's a good story!

Download Metacast podcast app
Podcasts are better in Metacast mobile app
Don't just listen to podcasts. Learn from them with transcripts, summaries, and chapters for every episode. Skim, search, and bookmark insights. Learn more

Episodes

#65. BABYMETAL Part I: Nick Loves GISM

What comes to mind when you think of Heavy Metal ? Is it three cute little girls wearing Lolita dresses and doing synchronized dance moves? Well if you answered "no" you're out of touch, my bruh! Welcome to the preposterous world of Babymetal , a Japanese girl group that combines the saccharine imagery of J-pop with the bone-crushing heaviness of metal. Sounds incongruous? It is, and yet this group is one of the best-selling hard rock acts of our age, earning millions of fans across the globe wi...

Jul 07, 20251 hr 39 minSeason 5Ep. 6

MINISODE: Songs that Name-Drop Cities

Don't you hate it when an artist wastes everyone's time by dedicating verses or even entire songs to shouting out dozens of random cities? No? It's just us? Well too bad, we're talking about it anyway! Why do so many artists feel compelled to list off dozens of cities they may or may not have been to? Where did this phenomenon begin, and which songs are the absolute worst offenders of all? Join us for a quirky little study of one of the most annoying if unremarked-upon phenomena in music! FOLLOW...

Jun 09, 20251 hr 2 minSeason 5Ep. 5

#64. VILLAGE PEOPLE Part III: It's Getting Uncomfortable In Here...

We wrap up this beast of a series by covering the last four decades of Village People history: from their uncomfortably cringe downfall to their recent return to relevance at the hands of a fascist goon. This ever-dumbfounding narrative winds its way through the topics of Milkshakes, Phone Sex, Copyright Law, German Soccer, and so much more! FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: [email protected]

Apr 14, 20251 hr 32 minSeason 5Ep. 4

#63. VILLAGE PEOPLE Part II: Have You Ever Heard of a Sextant?

The Village People hit their stride with such monster hits as "Y.M.C.A." and "In the Navy", proving that mainstream America will go to any lengths to not get the hint as to what their music's really about. We'll analyze the music from the band's golden age while also connecting it to the broader context of the late 70s music scene... You see, by this point Disco has completely overwhelmed American culture, inserting itself into every conceivable medium including breakfast cereals (seriously!). A...

Mar 10, 20251 hr 42 minSeason 5Ep. 3

MINISODE: Catching Up Vol. II

Awww yeah! We're back with another low-effort minisode where we catch up on all the recent goings-on from artists we profiled in the past. Come hear about all the wacky exploits from your favorite Polishing Turds alumni. We've got Cruises with Creed, AI experiments with the Black Eyed Peas, juicy drama from the Cyrus family, and so much more! What better way to start off this horrible, horrible year? FOLLOW US: Instagram: polishing.podcast Twitter/X: @polishing_turds email: polishingturdspodcast...

Jan 13, 20251 hr 29 minSeason 5Ep. 1

#61. HOLIDAY SPECIAL 2024: How the Brits Ruined Christmas

You thought American Christmas music was dumb? Wait till you hear what the folks across the pond are up to... This year's Holiday Special examines the annual tradition of the UK Christmas Number One. Each year the British public gets hyped up over which song is going to top the charts on Christmas week. Sounds innocent enough, and yet for whatever reason half the songs they pick make no goddamn sense at all. From schoolgirl choirs to TV characters to insufferable YouTube stars, the British peopl...

Dec 23, 20241 hr 16 minSeason 4Ep. 12

#60. ICED EARTH Part III: Stormriding the Capitol

We conclude our interminable Iced Earth series with the dramatic assault of the U.S. Capitol building on January 6, 2021. This riot was facilitated in part by a wacky militia called the Oath Keepers, a group whose membership happened to include Jon Schaffer. As usual we go deep; covering the history of the Oath Keepers as well as the far-right Patriot movement from which they emerged. We also discuss what happened to Jon Schaffer after his arrest, the fairness of his sentencing and whether or no...

Dec 14, 20241 hr 43 minSeason 4Ep. 11

#59. ICED EARTH Part II: The Awakening

How did Iced Earth guitarist Jon Schaffer become a deranged conspiracy theorist? What led him down that toxic rabbit hole, and what exactly are the beliefs that led him to storm the Capitol on January 6? It turns out most of Jon's anger and paranoia was centered around the Federal Reserve system, which conspiracy cranks believe is responsible for a sinister plot to impose a New World Order on the unsuspecting sheeple. But what's the actual truth? What does the Federal Reserve actually do, and wh...

Nov 25, 20242 hr 10 minSeason 4Ep. 10

#58. ICED EARTH Part I: Rise of the Stormrider

We cover the bizarre story of heavy metal legends Iced Earth, whose lead member was involved in the January 6 Capitol Riot. (Sorry about the dog barking in the background lol) YouTube playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Btd2KxXOvNc&list=PL6QhZ78uzXMohSWyUqf72sHHcCMjDd1PK Selected Sources: Metal Injection article from 1/6/2021: https://metalinjection.net/politics/is-this-a-photo-of-iced-earths-jon-schaffer-raiding-the-capitol-building "The Fall of Jon Schaffer" by J. Salmeron: https://p...

Sep 30, 20241 hr 51 minSeason 4Ep. 9

#57. IMAGINE DRAGONS Part III: Gods Don't Pray

Imagine Dragons have become too popular for their own good; a worldwide backlash is only inevitable! Critics, musicians, and countless Twitter randos unite to take the piss out of this commercial rock behemoth. They are, to put it bluntly, the New Nickelback... All this ridicule naturally hurts Dan Reynolds' feelings, and he responds to it the only way he know how: by making crappy music. Indeed, the songs that bubble up in the wake of Imagine Dragons' fall from grace are easily the most unbeara...

Aug 26, 20241 hr 22 minSeason 4Ep. 8

#56. IMAGINE DRAGONS Part II: Whatever It Takes

In Part II of our series we take on Imagine Dragons at their biggest, their boldest, their most obnoxious stage. During the mid-2010s this "rock" band brought their thunderous stomp-clap earworms to every observable realm of the human experience. Whether you were simply trying to listen to the radio, watch a football game, or take a stroll through a shopping center you COULD NOT escape this band. In this episode we try to parse out just what it is that made Imagine Dragons so commercially succes...

Aug 05, 20241 hr 48 minSeason 4Ep. 7

#55. IMAGINE DRAGONS Part I: Mormons, Lawyers, and Casinos

Who are Imagine Dragons? Why has their music dominated every mall, stadium, and TV commercial for the past 10 years? Why do old fogies like us find their music so obnoxious?? Perhaps Imagine Dragons are the industry's final attempt to kill rock and roll. Or maybe their music is a sincere expression of their soul and just happens to sound like that. Either way, the only to find out is to dig in. So get fired up, believers! Cal and Nick are going to dive into the story of the biggest rock band of ...

Jul 08, 20241 hr 49 minSeason 4Ep. 6

MINISODE: Live Aid

Live Aid - the 1985 worldwide charity extravaganza - has often been called the "greatest concert of all time." So why is it here getting the Polishing Turds treatment? Well, there's more to Live Aid than the iconic Queen set from Bohemian Rhapsody . There's the disturbing, politically-charged famine that inspired the event in the first place. There's a famously inept reunion show from a legendary band backed by a globe-trotting Phil Collins. And of course, there's the lingering, thorny question ...

Jun 03, 20242 hr 31 minSeason 4Ep. 5

#54. CHUMBAWAMBA Part IV: Predicting the Future and Torturing James Hetfield

It's a brand new millennium. The "Tubthumping" heyday is long gone and most people have forgotten Chumbawamba even existed. But that doesn't mean our quirky comrades are down for the count; on the contrary they're ready as ever to confront this modern tech dystopia with their trademark wit and biting social commentary, in addition to a rather liberal employment of accordions.... As always, inadvertent history lessons come with the territory of discussing this band, and in this episode you'll be ...

Apr 29, 20241 hr 56 minSeason 4Ep. 4

#53. CHUMBAWAMBA Part III: Chumba-WANKER!!

At long last, it's TUBTHUMPING TIME!! After endless digressions through history, politics, and obscure music scenes we finally arrive at Chumbawamba's era-defining hit. What does "Tubthumping" mean? What inspired its composition? Which creepy pederast mogul pushed it onto pop radio? We're gonna tell you everything you wanted to know about this tune and then some! This episode also includes a special theatrical contribution from the following voice actors. HUGE THANKS to the these talented humans...

Apr 08, 20241 hr 38 minSeason 4Ep. 6

#52. CHUMBAWAMBA Part II: Polk Music

Our heroes continue their wayward march toward improbable fame, satiating their anarchic through dalliances with new genres of music, including dance, pop, reggae, and a mysterious unheard-of one which we apparently think exists. And of course this being Chumbawamba, we've supplied the necessary historical context for each esoteric track. Topics of conversation in this episode will include Live Aid, Apartheid, a bitch slap in Parliament, hypocrisies in sampling law and beyond. **Listening to thi...

Mar 11, 20241 hr 28 minSeason 4Ep. 5

#51. CHUMBAWAMBA Part I: The Musical Influence of Cornflakes

( Okay FINE we'll tell the actual story of Chumbawamba and not a bunch of obscure noisy punk bands you've never heard of!) Before they were pop superstars, they were a misbegotten collection of misfits from the post-industrial wasteland of Northern England. They lived collectively in a dilapidated squat house, sharing all food and money (and, occasionally, each other's bodies). They agitated for revolution and made allies with striking coal miners. And slowly but surely, they came to realize the...

Feb 27, 20241 hr 35 minSeason 4Ep. 4

#50. CHUMBAWAMBA Part 0: A Crass Course on Anarcho-punk

In 1997 a smash-hit single called "Tubthumping" took the world by storm. Its authors were an eccentric eight-piece outfit from Leeds, England who kept insisting that they were anarchists. Media and fans alike were confused: what did this feel-good drinking song have to do with politics? And what were a bunch of radicals doing making pop music anyhow? This is the story of Chumbawamba... sort of. You see, to understand Chumbawamba's incongruous success as pop star anarchists, you have to know the ...

Feb 05, 20241 hr 36 minSeason 4Ep. 3

MINISODE: We Need to Talk About Viper...

CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSION OF SEXUAL ABUSE, KIDNAPPING, AND OTHER GRUESOME SUBJECT MATTER. Hey guys. Remember Viper, that insane meme rapper who sang about the virtues of smoking crack? Well recently he's been arrested on some truly disturbing charges. This story is so monumentally insane that we had to talk about it separately from our regular content. This episode is short and not very funny. There's no music. Quite honestly, the goal of uploading this is less to entertain our audience than t...

Jan 17, 202425 minSeason 4Ep. 2

#49. WESLEY WILLIS

Wesley Willis was truly one of the strangest dudes to ever touch a keyboard. A street artist and independent musician from Chicago's south side, Wesley self-produced dozens of CDs before amassing a grassroots cult following among hipsters and music nerds. Wesley was a consummate "outsider artist"; his songs are basically little more than spoken word rants belted over a pre-programmed keyboard track. His lyrics cover all manner of oddities from McDonald's to gangsters to Sucking a Camel's Ass. We...

Jan 08, 20241 hr 17 minSeason 4Ep. 1

#48. HOLIDAY SPECIAL 2023: A Very Pandering Christmas

HO HO HO! We're finally back for our annual Holiday Special! This year we're examining all the ways that Christmas music gets adapted by and tailored to various subcultures in our society. Rednecks, truckers, metalheads, vegans -- they all have their own Christmas songs, and we'd like to pay homage to this shameless pandering by playing 10 of the weirdest, most esoteric Christmas songs that search bars could scour up. Happy Holidays, fam! We love all of you!! [P.S. DUE TO SOME RANDOM FUCKERY BY ...

Dec 22, 20231 hr 29 minSeason 3Ep. 16

#47. INSANE CLOWN POSSE Part VII: Insane Clown Legacy

We wrap up our ICP series by taking a gander at what our boys J & Shaggy have been up to for the past decade or so. The rap world has changed dramatically since ICP's heyday in the 90s; do our Wicked Clown heroes have what it takes to keep up?? We also unveil a special "Juggalo Turd Deck" -- six cards that reveal a wildly entertaining story or tidbit about ICP we haven't mentioned so far! These include ICP's beefs with Eminem and Twiztid, a bizarre Gold-themed side project, and more! FOLLOW ...

Oct 30, 20231 hr 35 minSeason 3Ep. 15

#46. INSANE CLOWN POSSE Part VI: ICP vs. FBI

Wicked Clowns or Criminal Masterminds?? In this episode we cover the bizarre drama that unfolded when the FBI decided to officially classify Juggalos as a "gang." While seemingly ridiculous, this had drastic consequences for both ICP and ordinary Juggalos across the nation. How the heck did this happen? Are Juggalos really gangsters? We break it down in detail, exploring the messy police practices and lazy journalism that led to this unprecedented decision, as well as J & Shaggy's historic a...

Oct 10, 20232 hrSeason 3Ep. 14

#45. INSANE CLOWN POSSE Part V: "F*ckin' Magnets, How Do They Work?"

Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope lead the Juggalos into the New Millennium with the long-anticipated release of the 6th Joker's Card, the one that was supposed to herald The End Times... but what ICP actually revealed shocked and confused Juggalos the world over! We also follow our boys further into the 2000s, where they continued to serve the Juggalo faithful with new Dark Carnival bangers, including the most infamous ICP song of all, "Miracles." That's right, we're finally talking about your favo...

Sep 25, 20231 hr 23 minSeason 3Ep. 13

#44. INSANE CLOWN POSSE Part IV: The Gathering of the Juggalos

How can we possibly cover Insane Clown Posse without a full examination of the annual shitshow they birthed into existence? For over 20 years The Gathering of the Juggalos has put all other music festivals to shame in terms of the sheer quantity of drugs consumed, nudity displayed, and overall insanity laid bare for all mankind. In this episode we'll give you a comprehensive guide to all things Gathering; from its wacky history to its various carnival attractions, the surprising amount of rap le...

Sep 10, 20231 hr 32 minSeason 3Ep. 12

#43. INSANE CLOWN POSSE Part III: Sheryl Crow's Whiskey Ass

The demented saga of ICP continues as our heroes J & Shaggy finally get called to the big leagues with a major record label contract. However, this soon proves a Faustian bargain as the Posse get repeatedly fucked over by corporate suits, including a dramatic and highly-publicized dispute with Disney. Nevertheless, the mid-to-late 90s were Prime Time for ICP as they packed sold-out stadiums, beat up strangers at Waffle House, performed at Woodstock '99, and actually put out some genuinely gr...

Aug 28, 20231 hr 36 minSeason 3Ep. 11

#42. INSANE CLOWN POSSE Part II: Enter the Dark Carnival...

We're back like a vertebrae for Part II of our in-depth history of America's favorite psychopathic clowns! In this episode we'll cover the band's progress in the early 90s, when they established many of the traits that would come to define their unique aesthetic. This includes their affinity for Faygo, the coining of the term "Juggalo," and most especially the concept of the "Dark Carnival" -- the esoteric spirituality that guides all of ICP's music. Indeed, far from the deranged ramblings of tw...

Aug 07, 20231 hr 15 minSeason 3Ep. 10

#41. INSANE CLOWN POSSE Part I: Gettin' Down with the Clown

WHOOP WHOOP!! We're finally getting around to the group that proudly calls itself "The Most Hated Band in the World." For decades ICP have been adored by their fans and reviled by the establishment at levels that seem equally deranged. But what is the actual truth about this band? How did two high school dropouts from Detroit basically create an entire subculture, and is it really as scary and repulsive as people think? In the first of an epic series, we'll walk you through an Evil Clown origin ...

Jul 24, 20231 hr 20 minSeason 3Ep. 9

MINISODE: Catching Up, Vol. I

In this special minisode, we catch up with new releases by old favorites including Nickelback, Limp Bizkit, Five Finger Death Punch, and more! What have these goofballs been up to? Turns out some pretty zany stuff! Come join us on a relaxed fit episode free from Nick's excessive over-writing and pontificating (for the most part). DID YOU KNOW?? --Fred Durst volunteered to help with Twitter (and perhaps Elon Musk should have listened)? --Five Finger Death Punch singer Ivan Moody threatened to ret...

Jul 10, 20231 hr 16 minSeason 3Ep. 8
Hosted on Buzzsprout
For the best experience, listen in Metacast app for iOS or Android
Open in Metacast