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Inspired by a conversation with another TCK, I've decided to make tangible representations of all those losses that have felt so hard to name - especially the loss of things that we never had - and invite you to do the same. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
What happens with perfectionism collides with a short internal timeline? This episode I'm exploring the way in which our TCK experiences can shorten our sense of timeline, keeping our focus on achieving 'completion' even with those aspects of life that are just never going to be 'done'... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
So in this episode I'm exploring the ways in which we absorb different cultural ideas about what kind of life is supposed to make us happy - aka, are we allowed to be happy with something outside of that? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
A shorter one today - This is me just finding myself wanting to sit and be, so I thought I would do it with you - pondering what it is to be still in the midst of spinning between the different facets of self... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
I've turned 40! So cue reflections on aging, the ways in which our cultures and places contribute to our perspective on age, and a poem. Thank you so much for being with me for so long, and I'm so grateful to have arrived here, with you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Good at smoothing out social glitches? Feel desperately uncomfortable being 'demanding'? Welcome to the club! I hear so many of us struggling to tolerate the awkward... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
I hear so many TCKs characterise themselves as 'control freaks'. Here I unpack what control might mean to us, given our TCK stories, and how our experience of control impacts our confidence around decision-making... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
As TCKs we can spend a lot of time in other people's heads - looking at ourselves from their perspectives. What happens when we get back behind our own eyes? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
It's that time of year I get restless... actually, more like that time every four years... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This episode is born of frustration - and I know it's frustration I share with other Third Culture Kids. This is my meandering offering this week - a honest glimpse at the process of making choices from what can feel like an impossible spinning carousel - who will this choice make me, express and what kind of me 'should' I be in this moment? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
So I missed talking to you all last week - because I was away on holiday! The most wonderful time, but also a good moment to reflect on themes that come up a lot for Third Culture Kids - travel, holidays, and coming home... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Do you struggle with feeling not-enough? Confused about which of your identities you are supposed to focus on and do 'properly'? We aren't alone - and I'm seeing these sensations show up for many of us. In this episode I explore the notion of growing up with identity archetypes, concentrated identities played out in short bursts. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
So many Third Culture Kids are dealing with deep reservoirs of grief. Present day loss has a habit of pressing the bruises of losses felt earlier through our story, and it can be devastating to our sense of safety. In this episode I walk through one way of creating space for this grief, via intentional space and ritual. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
How big a part of your identity is 'helper'? And what happens when we find ourselves unable to help others, or even ourselves? What happens when we encounter helplessness? This episode ponders the ways in which our TCK experiences impact our experience of helplessness, and how we can meet it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
How many of us have been confronted with the question, "Is being a Third Culture Kid a good thing?" It's a question that feels to me to miss the point - and in this episode I explore why, and how we can better understand our traits and tendencies with nuance. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
As TCKs, many of us are aware of the nature of our representational or ambassador identities growing up. In this episode I explore how this early experience of identity by association could be impacting the choices around friendship or relationships we may be making in our adult lives. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In January, many of us are reflecting on various ways to improve ourselves. In this episode I'm exploring how often I hear TCKs struggling with the need to be extraordinary, and the fear of identities more mundane. I'll share my observations about what's going on here, and a poem I wrote today, on the Forbidden Fruit of being Ordinary. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Who is the narrator of your story? And is the voice a critical or demanding one? Or is it on the hero's side? In this episode I explore the impact and power of our narrative voices, and explore what these voices could sound like. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
I loved this phrase I heard last week, "frivolous identity" - and wanted to explore it here with you. I've often pondered the way we manage an internal hierarchy of our many identities and this phrase put it's finger on a theme I see come up a lot! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
How many Third Culture Kids are busy deconstructing our stories? Or working to build identities from what often feel like disparate fragments? In this episode I'm pondering my own relationship with making and creating, and what it can do for us! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Some feedback from last episode on purpose and TCKs really brought home to me another challenge faced by many TCKs around purpose - which this episode attempts to do justice to. How do we navigate our own values when we've not been told stories of values, just observable differences? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
I've been avoiding this episode - partly because I'm feeling how incredibly important it is. How does the experience of being a TCK interact with our purpose-seeking? And what do we do about it? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Taking pause in this episode, a moment to notice, acknowledge and celebrate how far we've come! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Time! How does the Third Culture Kid experience impact our sense of time? It's often said TCKs are somewhat allergic to the 10 year plan - but why? And what about the impact on how we do relationships? Join me in this week's ponderings - I'd love to hear your thoughts too! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
How many of us learnt that we could 'make ourselves safe' by offering certain behaviours - compliance, being a good listener, being 'interesting'? In this episode I'm exploring what we may have learnt we could expect back, if we could just find the offering to provide - the contracts we have entered into with our behaviours. "If I'm this, then you will be that" the rule goes. Except when the other party can't see and didn't agree to the contract we have signed up for... Hosted on Acast. See acas...
What about the characters in our story that we struggle to find a place for? The people whose languages we've maybe lost but who cared for us as children, worked in our homes or with our parents; these are pivotal points of attachment safety for us. In this episode I explore the limits of attachment theory for TCKs, where it is getting delightfully expanded, and how we can honour attachment figures in our stories. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Money! What's it got to do with the Third Culture Experience? Between complex juxtapositions between wealth experiences between countries, modelled standards and shapes of living, expectations around meaningful employment - quite a lot! I wanted to spend some time here on this because it does come up in my work with TCKs, and my own life too, and feels an important element to understand in our stories. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more inf...
In this meandering episode, I'm observing how the practice of imagining feasible alternate realities can benefit us. Sometimes called re-scripting, working with feasible alternative realities is about recognising when we are so busy accommodating (or trying to manage the outcome of) others' decisions, that we shoulder the emotional work to excess. When we imagine feasible alternative realities to difficult situations, we recognise the agency of others' and the ways in which we are not solely res...
"Who am I?" is a question that Third Culture Kids agonise over, and I've observed some patterns here - that we often focus on the 'big identities', the ones that give meaning and purpose on a global scale, as we've been taught to. And there is nothing wrong with that. But I ponder here about the degree to which this identities are often socially framed - who am I... to others, the world? And I invite some time spent with what I'd call 'micro identities' - what happens when we pay attention to th...
"If I make life work here, then I'm committing to being here forever". Versions of this statement is something I hear so often in my work with Third Culture Kids, and so this episode spends some time looking at how hard it is for us to invest in the here and now... when this implies so much letting go of other options and opportunities. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
