Are Kegels as close as you’ve gotten to being informed about pelvic floor health? If so, this week’s episode is for you. Some signs that you may be having pelvic floor issues include: - Incontinence - Lower back pain - Discomfort with sex - A weak core If you’re experiencing any issues, it’s best to work with a pelvic floor physical therapist. Our guest this week, Kim Vopni, is talking all things pelvic health. She’s providing tips for finding the best pelvic floor physical therapist in your are...
Sep 17, 2020•Ep. 103
Ever wonder what “mindfulness” really is? This week we’re speaking with mindfulness expert, Sarah Harmon, about mothering oneself mindfully. If you find yourself deep in negative self-talk and critique, losing your patience when things don’t go as planned, or spending too much time overthinking - this episode is for you. To learn more, be sure to check it out. We’re covering what mindfulness really is, the importance of the relationship we have with ourselves, and how to be more mindful in our p...
Sep 10, 2020•Ep. 102
In this week’s episode, we’re talking to Jasmine Johnson, a sex educator, entertainer, and therapist. Through her own journey of self-exploration, Jasmine became aware of how people tend to lose their identity when they become parents or professionals. She started Jet Setting Jasmine to help people come together for the fun of sex, learning what they like, and overcoming sexual shame. Jasmine found that shame gets in the way of sexual pleasure and wanted to help people enjoy their fetishes and e...
Sep 02, 2020•Ep. 101
It’s our 100th episode! We hope you’ve been enjoying the interviews we’ve been doing with experts in the field. For today, we thought it would be best to come back together and a Marina and Meredith episode. We wanted to celebrate this milestone by giving you a revamped all things communication episode. If you haven’t already listened to Episode 001 - Communication that Actually Works , please do so first. This week’s episode is covering a few more advanced communication strategies for couples. ...
Aug 27, 2020•Ep. 100
You know those conflicts where you go from 0 to 100 in no time? Or you say something benign and your partner reacts with rage? It’s likely your inner child is making an appearance. I’ll be honest - when I’ve heard about the “inner child” in the past, I’ve rolled my eyes. But, after recording this episode, I have an entirely new understanding of this concept. And let me tell you, it’s playing out in all of our relationships. This week we’re speaking with Saadia Z. Yunus, LMFT, about how our inner...
Aug 20, 2020•Ep. 99
Over the years, we’ve been asked a lot of questions by the couples we work with. Some are not always appropriate to answer in the therapeutic context. So, we’re answering them here today. The 5 questions you wish your couples therapist would answer are: - Should we get divorced? - Are we a good match? - Do couples recover from... infidelity, emotional disconnection, dry spells, a sexless marriage, opening a relationship? - My partner’s wrong, right? - Do you really care about your clients? We’re...
Aug 13, 2020•Ep. 98
What’s more fun than getting a behind-the-scenes look at a couples therapist’s marriage? We’ve had the unique experience of dating our husbands throughout graduate school, while we were learning the do’s and don’ts of healthy relationships. We pulled them along for the ride, shared what we were learning, and practiced exercises with them. I’d say it served us tremendously. Today’s guests have had a similar experience! In this week’s episode, we spoke with Stranz and Mallory Wolfgramm, couples th...
Aug 04, 2020•Ep. 97
Women often talk about the “mental load.” I, personally, have had this conversation with my husband countless times. It goes something like this: Me: “If I didn’t think of everything that has to get done, it wouldn’t get done. Why do I have to do everything?” Him: “You don’t have to do everything, just tell me what you need me to do and I’ll do it.” Me: “But, that’s the point. If I have to tell you what to do, I still have to think about it.” Can you relate? These conflicts typically get trigger...
Jul 30, 2020•Ep. 96
Everyone has sexual fantasies. People generally feel shame about their fantasies and think they’re “weird” or uncommon. Research shows that having and exploring sexual fantasies and talking about them in the context of your relationship leads couples to have the most satisfying sex lives. Here are a few tips to set yourselves up for success: - Do your own work around shame by educating yourself and normalizing your fantasies - Communicate with your partner and go through the learning curve toget...
Jul 22, 2020•Ep. 95
The first year of marriage is the hardest, right? When couples go from dating to living together, they’re suddenly faced with “having to” make it work. Time apart is no longer built into your weekly routine, you don’t go home to cool off after an argument, and you see and speak to each other every day. There are many more opportunities to see your partner in their best (and worst) moments. This allows you to grow to the next level of friendship, emotional intimacy, and physical intimacy. Instead...
Jul 16, 2020•Ep. 94
Well, 60 episodes ago we talked about 6 common relationship problems that aren’t actually problems. It happened to be the most popular episode so far. Today, we thought we’d revive that with three more myths. We love myth-busting because our perspectives inform what we think, how we feel, and what we do in life. If we view a particular interaction with our partner as a “problem,” we’re more likely to think negatively about them and the relationship, feel frustrated or upset, and act accordingly....
Jul 09, 2020•Ep. 93
Consider the following: “I am more focused on changing my partner, than I am on changing myself.” “If my partner is unhappy, I am incredibly uncomfortable and feel I need to fix or change their emotional state. “I need to sacrifice my own happiness and/or well-being in order to ensure my partner is happy.” If these statements rang true for you, you may have a tendency towards codependency. Codependency is a dynamic in relationships that lends itself to dissatisfaction, resentment, and having unm...
Jul 02, 2020•Ep. 92
We’ve all heard it. Mid-argument with our partner: “You’re just like your mother!” But, what does that really mean? Why is it so common? We learn how to be in relationships by observing our parents and the adults in our life growing up. We experience love in the ways our parents or caregivers showed us love. The way the important adults in our life expressed their emotions - happiness, frustration, anger - towards us, are the ways we expect our adult partners to do so. Now, here’s where it gets ...
Jun 25, 2020•Ep. 91
Do you know what your attachment style is? Each of us develops an attachment style early in life - it’s solidified by about age 3 - that we take with us into future relationships. While we can’t change our style, we can use it to provide context for our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in relationships. The more we know, the more we can adapt to healthier ways of being with our partner. There are four common styles: - Secure attachment - Anxious attachment - Avoidant attachment - Anxious-avoida...
Jun 18, 2020•Ep. 90
If you and your partner have been “staying at home” together these past few months, you may have come to a realization: We have no shared hobbies. So many couples are facing this, as the usual hustle-and-bustle has been paused. Gyms, restaurants, and movie theaters have been closed. Spas and salons have been closed. Spending time with friends has been put on hold. You may have been looking at your partner trying to figure out what in the world you’re going to do together. This can be challenging...
Jun 11, 2020•Ep. 89
When was the last time you asked your partner how they were doing? I mean really took the time, distraction-free, to sit, look them in the eye, and asked. My guess is - probably not recently enough. This conversation should be happening daily . Every day, you and your partner should be sitting down for 15 to 20 minutes to check in with one another. How are you feeling? What’s your biggest stressor right now? Is there anything I can do to help you with that? This simple practice has a number of b...
May 28, 2020•Ep. 88
Typically, when our opinions differ from those of a friend or family member, we can choose to avoid talking about that topic or come to compromise. Things like politics or what to order for dinner are fairly simple to manage with loved ones. But, what about COVID-19 precautions? You don’t need to talk about them, but you do need to embody the ones that are important to you. As you, your family, and friends enact new practices, you’ll quickly discover the areas of disagreement. What happens when ...
May 21, 2020•Ep. 87
Most of us have developed some less-than-ideal coping skills recently. Staying up too late. Eating junk food. Having too many coffees or cocktails. Watching Netflix for hours on end. Foregoing your usual workouts. These are stressful times and we’ve got to get through it somehow. This is probably not the right time to start a Whole 30 or overhaul all your “unhealthy” habits. You’d likely be setting yourself up for failure. How about one small shift? What if you add or pair one small, good-for-yo...
May 14, 2020•Ep. 86
It’s been a tough two months, huh? There’s so much heaviness in life right now from the news, hearing stories from friends and family who have been affected in a myriad of ways, and not knowing when things are going to be “normal” again. It totally makes sense. You may be feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or even guilty for being one of the “lucky” ones. Staying at home with your partner has its positives, but can also be quite challenging. Working from home and supporting your kids in their online...
May 07, 2020•Ep. 85
Since we’ve been “staying at home,” we’ve heard from tons of couples that they’re struggling with opposite sex drives. These are couples who don’t usually experience this - their desire levels are typically aligned. But, people react differently to stress. They react differently to ongoing stress. For some, the stress response hits the breaks on desire more than their desire is accelerated, leading to a reduced sex drive. For others, their desire is accelerated more than the stress response hits...
Apr 30, 2020•Ep. 84
Disagreements are challenging to navigate in general, but when you’re both under additional stress they can become explosive. Having the ability to recognize when an argument isn’t going anywhere and you and your partner may just not see eye-to-eye is key. Agreeing to disagree means: We fully heard each other’s position on this issue. We understand our own point of view and our partner’s. With that information, we still do not agree. We don’t “have to” agree or find a compromise right now . We c...
Apr 23, 2020•Ep. 83
One of the biggest challenges we’ve heard from couples we work with since quarantine began is managing household and childcare responsibilities. All of a sudden, both of you were working from home. Schools and daycares closed, so the kids were home too. Wow. This has been a huge transition for families. These circumstances lend themselves to increased stress and anxiety, less time for self-care, more conflict, and feelings of overwhelm. When both you and your partner are having a hard time, it c...
Apr 16, 2020•Ep. 82
The going has gotten tough. In full transparency, we recorded this episode before the COVID-19 pandemic was a concern here in the U.S., but it certainly feels timely. Using effective communication strategies, supporting one another, and maintaining your rituals of connection are much easier when life is “normal.” Add some additional stressors (think: kids, a demanding job, or quarantine) and your skills are sure to be tested. When things around you are hard, it becomes even more important to rem...
Apr 09, 2020•Ep. 81
If you are currently or planning to become a parent, this week’s episode is for you. The transition to parenthood is a significant milestone for many reasons. It’s an exciting and life-changing time for you and your family, which can also lend itself to struggles like postpartum depression or anxiety and relationship issues. When relationship issues go unresolved after the birth of a child, they can snowball. We often see couples who identify the shift in their relationship began 5-10 years ago,...
Apr 02, 2020•Ep. 80
Friends don’t let friends personal growth all over their partners. We love reading, listening to podcasts, and doing online courses. We love to learn and share that knowledge with anyone who will listen. (I mean, we host this podcast…). What we have had to learn not to do, is share this knowledge with our partners when they’re not interested. Often, one partner is more into personal development than the other. This can become a source of conflict when that partner tries to pull the other into th...
Mar 26, 2020•Ep. 79
Well, things have certainly shifted over the past few weeks. Here in NY, schools are closed, restaurants and many small businesses are closed, and a ton of people are working from home who never have before. There is a heightened level of stress and anxiety right now that’s weighing on everyone. Aside from concerns about the impact on the health of ourselves, friends, and family, there are financial concerns, and the need to adapt suddenly to unexpected lifestyle changes. We recorded this episod...
Mar 19, 2020•Ep. 78
So, it’s not really about the coffee. You know by now that taking responsibility for keeping your side of the street clean is a key component of healthy relationships. This isn’t always easy. We have days where we didn’t sleep well, are under extra stress, or are just in a bad mood. If circumstances like this have primed us to be irritable or have a short fuse, it’s likely we’re not going to do the best job at managing our emotions. There are, however, things within our control that have an infl...
Mar 12, 2020•Ep. 77
If you’ve found yourself hiding boxes from your online shopping in your garage, car trunk, or closet - welcome. You’re in good company. So many couples struggle with speaking openly about finances and coming to a shared perspective for future financial goals, how money should be spent/saved, and how to organize their budget. Often, this leads to an unspoken “agree to disagree” arrangement, which involves each partner doing what they feel is right. Communication about money is avoided because we ...
Mar 05, 2020•Ep. 76
Have you ever wondered about emotional affairs? We’ve worked with many couples who have gone through the experience of a partner having an emotional affair. Let us tell you - an emotional affair is just as damaging (if not more) than a physical affair. The dishonesty and turning towards someone new instead of your relationship partner creates a significant breach of trust and requires a lot of repair work to move forward. There are a few key components of emotional affairs: 1 | They’re secretive...
Feb 27, 2020•Ep. 75
Do you ever feel like you’re so “in your head,” that you’re missing what’s going on in the here-and-now? Racing thoughts, replaying things that have happened in the past, worrying about things that could happen in the future - these experiences pull us out of our body and into our mind. The problem is if we’re stuck in our mind, we can’t really feel. We’ll miss those intuitive hits, hunches, and gut feelings meant to guide us through life. Our emotional experiences will be stunted or bypassed en...
Feb 20, 2020•Ep. 74
