Register for the 2025 Summit Now! In today’s episode, Bob Vander Meer and Heather Kolb join us to preview the upcoming Pure Desire Summit, sharing their excitement and insights about this year’s event. With the theme "Anchored in Hope," they discuss how the Summit aims to foster connection, growth, and healing for attendees from all walks of life. We reflect on what sets the Pure Desire Summit apart from other events and discuss what we hope attendees will walk away with—both personally and prof...
Jun 24, 2025•52 min•Ep. 416
In this insightful episode, Dr. Jake Porter shares his expertise on sex addiction and betrayal trauma through the powerful lens of the theme Anchored in Hope . Drawing from neuroscience, attachment theory, and spiritual truth, Dr. Jake unpacks how understanding the brain's role in addiction and trauma can offer a renewed sense of hope to those feeling stuck in cycles of pain. He explores how couples can begin to rebuild trust after betrayal, and how healing attachment wounds leads to healthier, ...
Jun 17, 2025•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 415
In this episode, Dr. Adrian Hickmon, founder of Capstone Treatment Center, shares his deep insights into the transformative power of hope in recovery, particularly for those struggling with addiction and trauma. Drawing on his firsthand experience, he explores how hope anchors individuals, helping them rediscover purpose and faith amidst emotional pain. Adrian sheds light on how people can break free from the shame and guilt tied to their struggles, offering a path to healing and lasting change....
Jun 10, 2025•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 414
In this powerful and deeply compassionate episode, Dr. Sheri Denham Keffer joins us to explore the theme Anchored in Hope—a lifeline for those navigating the stormy waters of sexual betrayal, trauma, and addiction. With wisdom drawn from years of walking alongside individuals in pain, Dr. Sheri unpacks how rediscovering our true identity in Christ fosters self-awareness, ignites healing, and grounds us in a hope that endures—even when it feels out of reach. We dive into practical steps for recon...
Jun 03, 2025•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 413
In this episode, we dive into the world of neurodivergence and its unique connection to addiction and recovery. Our guest, Jenna Riemersma, shares insights into what neurodivergence means and offers examples of behaviors that may be seen in neurodivergent individuals. We explore the specific challenges they face when dealing with addiction and recovery, and how mental health stigma can impact their journey. We also discuss the concept of self-regulation and its relationship to addictive behavior...
May 27, 2025•59 min•Ep. 412
In this episode, we delve deep into the intersection of mental health, trauma, and unwanted sexual behavior, exploring how our past experiences shape our present struggles. Our guest, Jay Stringer, shares powerful insights into the connection between unresolved wounds and their impact on mental health, offering practical guidance on how to approach healing with curiosity instead of self-condemnation. We discuss the importance of understanding our stories, how attachment theory influences our rel...
May 20, 2025•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 411
In this episode, we dig into the intersection of pornography use, social media, and mental health, exploring how these modern influences are shaping our perceptions of intimacy, relationships, and self-worth. We discuss how most people's journey with porn typically begins, early signs that it’s negatively affecting mental health, and how social media plays a significant role in fueling these behaviors. Our conversation addresses common mental health challenges linked to problematic porn and soci...
May 13, 2025•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 410
In this episode, we explore the intersection of faith and mental health with Dr. Carol Tanksley who has dedicated their life to helping others heal from fear, anxiety, grief, and more. We’ll talk about the Church’s role in addressing mental health struggles, unpack common misconceptions Christians hold about anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges, and discuss how believers can distinguish between spiritual battles and mental health issues. This conversation highlights the import...
May 06, 2025•59 min•Ep. 409
In this episode, we dive into the topic of biblical sexuality with Rodney Wright. We discuss his passion for addressing this often-overlooked issue and why the conversation around biblical sexuality is “dead” in many churches today. Exploring beyond the simple “sex is for marriage” approach, we discuss how we can recover a more holistic, biblical understanding of human sexuality in a modern context. Rodney shares insights on balancing sexual holiness with compassion for those struggling with bro...
Apr 29, 2025•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 408
In this episode, we dig into the often overlooked intersection of singleness and sexuality, exploring how we can resurrect a healthier, more holistic view of both. We discuss the importance of stewarding sexual desire with integrity, especially in a culture that promotes instant gratification and casual relationships. Our guests share their personal stories of God’s redemptive work in their sexuality during their single years and offer insights on how the church can better support and value sing...
Apr 22, 2025•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 407
Description In this raw and vulnerable episode, Mike and Megan Ramirez share their powerful journey of rediscovering hope and redemption in their marriage after hitting rock bottom. They take us back to the moment of discovery, revealing how a devastating truth almost ended it all. Through heartache, denial, and moments of deep despair, they walk us through their process of healing, the critical steps they took to save their marriage, and the people who played pivotal roles in their transformati...
Apr 15, 2025•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 406
In today’s episode, we sit down with Dr. Curt Thompson to explore the complex relationship between anxiety, trauma, and the stories we tell ourselves. We discuss how feelings of anxiety and aloneness are intertwined, how trauma affects the brain, and the powerful role of secure relationships and community in healing. Dr. Thompson also shares practical steps for understanding and moving through anxiety, breaking free from isolation, and reconnecting with others and with God. Plus, we dive into th...
Apr 08, 2025•52 min•Ep. 405
In this impactful episode, we sit down with Pastor Andrew Rothrock of Riverbend Church in Bend, Oregon, to explore what it means to create a church culture that actively supports sexual health and healing. Riverbend is setting a powerful example by making recovery from compulsive sexual behavior and betrayal trauma a visible and valued part of their ministry. We talk with Andrew about why their church made sexual wholeness a key discipleship focus, how they’ve integrated Pure Desire groups into ...
Apr 01, 2025•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 404
In this powerful episode, we sit down with Jasmine Marino, Founder and Director of Jasmine Grace Outreach, to discuss their life-changing work helping survivors escape sex trafficking and begin their recovery journey. From providing tailored recovery support groups to offering essential mentoring and coaching, Jasmine Grace Outreach goes above and beyond to empower individuals who have experienced both sexual exploitation and addiction. We dive into the challenges the organization faces, the uni...
Mar 25, 2025•54 min•Ep. 403
In this eye-opening episode, we’re joined by Lisa Thompson, Vice President of the National Center on Sexual Exploitation’s Research Institute. We delve into the complex and often misunderstood connection between pornography and sexual exploitation. We explore how the consumption of porn fuels industries that profit from human trafficking and exploitation, and the psychological, relational, and societal consequences of widespread pornography use. We discuss the legal gaps that allow these harms t...
Mar 18, 2025•58 min•Ep. 402
In this eye-opening episode, we dig into the complexities of the adult entertainment industry, shedding light on the personal stories often hidden behind its glitzy façade. Rey Jordan, a counselor with experience working with individuals in the industry, shares her insights on the real-life struggles that lead people to seek counseling and the trauma that shapes their experiences. We discuss the pathways many women take into the adult industry, the societal narratives that fail to reflect their ...
Mar 11, 2025•1 hr•Ep. 401
Today we’re celebrating episode 400 of the Pure Desire Podcast! So we did things a little differently. We talk through the most memorable episodes, the most surprising guests, and Nick’s most unique opening song. We also share a couple testimonies from listeners personally impacted by the podcast. Then, we mix things up by doing a listener’s Q&A. We answer questions about: lying during the recovery process; why sexually acting out feels so personal to the betrayed partner; what the Superhero...
Mar 04, 2025•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 400
In this episode, we tackle the challenging yet crucial topic of reintegrating sex into a marriage after betrayal. Rebecca Vander Meer and Traci Wright, two Pure Desire Clinicians, share why this is such a struggle for many couples and the common mistakes that can hinder progress. From rushing the process to overlooking emotional intimacy, we explore what couples can do to overcome these obstacles. The conversation also highlights key strategies that successful couples use—such as open communicat...
Feb 25, 2025•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 399
In this episode, we delve into the emotional journey of couples healing from betrayal. We’re joined by Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, relationship experts and authors, who share insights from their work on the Intimacy Pyramid—a framework designed to help couples rebuild trust, connection, and intimacy after a betrayal. We explore the different stages of healing, from honesty and emotional safety to full intimacy, and how this process varies for betraying spouses, betrayed partners, and the coupl...
Feb 18, 2025•54 min•Ep. 398
In this episode, we are joined by Dr. Dan Allender, renowned author and counselor, to discuss the themes of his latest book: The Deep-Rooted Marriage: Cultivating Intimacy, Healing, and Delight . Dan shares the inspiration behind writing it and offers powerful insights into strengthening marriages. We explore key questions such as: What does it mean to truly honor your spouse? How can couples resolve conflicts without one partner feeling submissive? What role do past wounds play in shaping our p...
Feb 11, 2025•52 min•Ep. 397
In this episode, we dive deep into the transformative concept of "rupture and repair" in parenting with expert Dr. Jake Porter. As a featured expert in the Parent Training Course, he unpacks the crucial role this process plays in building stronger, more resilient relationships between parents and children. We explore what happens when emotional ruptures occur—whether through misunderstandings, miscommunication, or outbursts—and how parents can recognize when their child feels disconnected or hur...
Feb 04, 2025•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 396
In this episode, we tackle one of the most pressing concerns for parents today: protecting children from the dangers of pornography. Kristen Jenson, author of Good Pictures, Bad Pictures, shares her inspiration behind writing the book and her mission to help parents guide their young children through the complexities of online content in a way that is age-appropriate and effective. We discuss the concept of "porn-proofing" children, which was explored in Pure Desire’s new Parent Training Course,...
Jan 28, 2025•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 395
Join us as we explore the intersection of faith and sexual health education, with expert insights from Dr. Glen Maiden on how to approach teaching children about sex from a biblical perspective. As a biblical sexual health educator, Dr. Glen shares how to approach this sensitive topic with children in a way that honors faith-based values while promoting healthy, balanced views of sexuality. We discuss how to introduce sexual health teachings to children, both from a practical and scriptural stan...
Jan 21, 2025•1 hr 10 min•Ep. 394
In today’s episode, we dive deep into one of the most important—and often most uncomfortable—topics for parents: talking with your kids about sex. We’re joined by Rodney and Traci Wright, authors of How to Talk With Your Kids About Sex and the primary speakers in Pure Desire’s new Parent Training Course. We tackle key issues like how to address our own sexual health as parents, the challenges of today's media landscape, and how to adjust these conversations as children grow. We also discuss comm...
Jan 14, 2025•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 393
Navigating healthy relationships with teens can feel overwhelming, especially in a culture full of conflicting messages about identity and sexuality. In this episode, we explore how to raise kids with a biblically grounded and holistic view of sexuality. Drawing from Sheila Wray Gregoire's new book, She Deserves Better, this conversation offers practical tools and transformative insights for parents, youth leaders, and anyone invested in guiding the next generation. Whether you're teaching bound...
Jan 07, 2025•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 392
Happy New Year’s Eve! In this special year-end episode, host Nick Stumbo and guest co-host Heather Kolb dive into the value of self-reflection as we close out one year and prepare for the next. Whether you’re in the middle of a recovery journey, pursuing personal growth, or simply looking for practical ways to start the new year with purpose, this episode has something for you. Nick and Heather discuss why self-reflection is vital, not just at the end of the year but throughout our lives. They e...
Dec 31, 2024•54 min•Ep. 391
Resources: Full Episode on Youtube Unwanted by Jay Stringer GET STARTED Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation Join A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALS Follow us on Facebook Follow us on Instagram Follow us on X (Twitter)...
Dec 24, 2024•58 min•Ep. 390
Sam Black, the author of The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong About Pornography and How to Fix It and the Director of Recovery Education at Covenant Eyes, joins the podcast today to wrap up an 8-part deep dive into the new data on pornography use, its impact on relationships, mental health, and the Church. Together, Nick, Ashley, and Sam explore how this research can guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing. This eight episode deep dive into Beyon...
Dec 17, 2024•1 hr•Ep. 389
According to Beyond the Porn Phenomenon, women are 3x more likely to say porn use of a partner makes them feel that their spouse doesn’t care about them. Dr. Barbara Steffens helps break down why porn use connects so acutely to the relationship for women, shares advice you would give to create change, and why pornography use by one spouse is not a marriage issue but rather an issue that impacts and wounds the marriage. Dr. Barbara Steffens, the founding President of the Association for Partners ...
Dec 10, 2024•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 388
Carol Juergensen Sheets, better known as Carol the Coach, joins the podcast today in part 6 of our deep dive into Beyond the Porn Phenomenon . Carol helps us unpack some of the specific stats that impact relationships and gives insight into how the church can support betrayed partners. Nick, Ashley, and Carol discuss how this research can raise awareness, spark new conversations, and guide the Church in addressing sexual brokenness and provide real hope for healing. This eight episode exploratio...
Dec 03, 2024•1 hr•Ep. 387
