371 - Slop
My thoughts on the election of the latest pope are put on hold as I deal with a copyright dispute concerning the unauthorized use of my image in a YouTube "thirst trap" video.
May 13, 2025•23 min
Whatever Happened to Pizza at McDonald's
This is a podcast about whatever happened to pizza at McDonald's.
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Episodes
370 - College of Cardinals
I examine Cardinal Pizzaball's potential competition in the race to become the next pope. Plus, I discuss updates on the matter of last year's assassination of a lesser-liked Brian Thompson. And I detail the details of my involvement with a famous 1995 murder trial.
Apr 28, 2025•15 min
369 - Farewell, The Pope
I wish a fond farewell to Pope Francis, a.k.a. The Pope, and ruminate on the notion that his passing away might have something to do with my placing U.S. President Donald Trump under citizens' arrest.
Apr 24, 2025•13 min
368 - A Special Announcement / Notice
After careful consideration of various crimes committed by the United States presidential administration, and with my role as a citizen as well as an award-pending investigative journalist in mind, I make a special announcement / notice re: a citizen's arrest.
Apr 21, 2025•14 min
367 - Group Chat
I solicit help from above in my quest to be accidentally added to a group chat discussing top secret McDonald's secrets.
Mar 31, 2025•12 min
366 - Adult Babies
I show support for McDonald's adult-oriented menu items (like pizza) by donning a costume to purchase the new Minecraft adult Happy Meal.
Mar 25, 2025•17 min
365 - Facial Recognition
I attempt to trick McDonald's new artificial intelligence facial recognition technology by wearing a rubber fright mask of comedian/talent judge Howard Mandel's face.
Mar 19, 2025•15 min
364 - Priest Chat
In my pursuit to join the College of Cardinals so that I might cast a vote for a pizza-friendly pope, I chat online with a friendly priest from PriestChat.com.
Feb 28, 2025•16 min
363 - Pope Pizzaballa I
With the current pope in ill health, I pursue the possibility of joining the College of Cardinals so that I might cast a vote for the next pope: Pope Pizzaballa I.
Feb 26, 2025•14 min
362 - DOGE
In an attempt to gain better access to government records regard McDonald's Pizza matters (whatever happened to it, etc.), I seek to join the Department of Government Efficiency.
Feb 20, 2025•11 min
361 - Plastic Poisoning
Research on Reddit.com leads me to question whether McDonald's stopped serving pizza because too many people were eating the plastic tray on which is was served.
Feb 14, 2025•18 min
360 - Altoona-Style Pizza, Part 3
On the conclusion of an epic 3-part saga concerning the horrific Altoona-style pizza, I share the results of my accidental plastic consumption with the Kraft corporation and am rewarded handsomely for the effort.
Jan 31, 2025•13 min
359 - Altoona-Style Pizza, Part 2
On the advice of the Kraft corporation, I contact the reference desk at my local public library to determine whether I am in bodily danger from having consumed a Kraft Single with the plastic wrapper still on.
Jan 29, 2025•13 min
358 - Altoona-Style Pizza, Part 1
I detail the shocking horror of Altoona-style pizza and suffer my own intestinal mishap in the process.
Jan 25, 2025•20 min
357 - New Year Predictions
I contact a professional psychic to answer some questions regarding what to expect in the new year vis-à-vis the potential return of certain fast food items, etc.
Dec 31, 2024•9 min
356 - Christmas 2024
I lament the largely negative impact on my life of sharing a name with a health insurance CEO who was forced to pass away in an act of vigilante justice. Plus, I replay the results of my investigation into the story of the birth of Jesus "Christ" Christmas Ben-David.
Dec 25, 2024•12 min
355 - Coincidences
I explore the many disturbing coincidences between my investigative journalism program (or IJP) and the assassination of a lesser-known and, frankly, lesser-beloved Brian Thompson.
Dec 10, 2024•12 min
354 - Emergency Live Broadcast
In light of the assassination of another Brian Thompson very near my home, I go into hiding in one of New York City's most central parks and update my listeners via a live "proof of life" broadcast.
Dec 05, 2024•19 min
353 - Thanksgiving Turkey Giveaway
To celebrate American Thanksgiving, I plan to generously give away turkeys with cavities full of educational literature.
Nov 28, 2024•13 min
352 - The Deep State
In an effort to broaden my outreach, I appear as a special guest on a popular conservative radio show to discuss my concerns about the deep state's conduct re: the McDonald's Pizza matter.
Nov 26, 2024•11 min
351 - Brain Enhancer
After a political realignment, I explore the possibility of accepting advertising dollars from a nootropics company. But a brain enhancement pill accident involving my dog has me concerned about a "Flowers for Algernon" type situation.
Nov 20, 2024•14 min
350 - Election Concern
In part two of a special two-part event (and my record-breaking 350th episode), I am once again experiencing election anxiety, exactly as I did eight years ago, when I first became a devout Christian by calling a prayer hotline.
Nov 01, 2024•16 min
349 - Devil Dog
On part one of a special two-part event, I have named my new dog. But concern about his love of a devilish Halloween pet costume causes me to seek spiritual guidance.
Oct 30, 2024•17 min
348 - E. Coli
I adopt a dog to aid me in my investigations. Plus, I look into a recent outbreak of E. Coli at McDonald's by mailing a laboratory a hamburger.
Oct 25, 2024•18 min
347 - Assembling a Uniform
In preparation for my upcoming role as United States Pizza Czar, I assemble a uniform with the help of Brooks Brothers and the fine folks at Gorilla Glue.
Oct 01, 2024•21 min
346 - Moles
While investigating the ongoing case of whether Kamala Harris really worked at McDonald's, I unfortunately break a cardinal rule of journalism by sending a source my nudes.
Sep 27, 2024•18 min
345 - An End to Violence
I give God Ben-David one more chance to answer my prayers by pleading with Him to remove violence from the hearts of humanity before I become a major political figure.
Sep 17, 2024•16 min
344 - Resume Help
I investigate reports that Kamala Harris did not, in fact, work at McDonald's. In the process, I update my resume.
Aug 31, 2024•22 min
343 - Journalist No More?
In light of recent McDonald's-related developments in presidential politics, I consider giving up my status as a journalist to become a government lackey.
Aug 27, 2024•20 min
342 - Vice Presidential Service
While investigating reports that Vice President Kamala Harris may have worked at McDonald's, I seek valuable intelligence from another fast food chain owned and operated by nearly six guys.
Aug 19, 2024•20 min
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