The Unwritable Rant - podcast cover

The Unwritable Rant

Juliette Mirandawww.theunwritablerant.com
Join author and occasional misanthrope Juliette Miranda for bourbon-soaked personal stories and celebrity interviews. From misadventures working in the music industry, dating disasters and an incautious life with "her guy," Juliette knocks back 30 minutes of relatable, revealing, and comically real stories. She occasionally invites top comedians, actors, and musicians to join her and share their own stories about life and more. Every episode is paired with a short bourbon review, because all good stories should come with a side of booze.
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Episodes

Ep 263 - Dressing room dry humps, mounting a work of art, and glorious expectations

Juliette considers the size of her liver, meets a work of art, holds a bear hostage, makes out in a state of grace, waits out a relationship, chooses her own call girl adventure, sits in her own nightmare, and considers a savior. Be sure to check out Juliette’s new cooking podcast, That One Thing. Every episode she features one ingredient and recipe to elevate your everyday cooking. That One Thing podcast https://sites.libsyn.com/445113

Apr 30, 202320 minEp. 263

Ep 262 - Ungood voodoo, bond bills, and a golf cart decked out with a disco ball

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette debates voodoo, takes a shine to slots, leaves a trail of bloody footprints, loathes a pedestrian mall, contemplates bribery, refuses to reschedule, battles swampy muck and metal barricades, discovers pothole hell, finds pink-tinted salvation, and appreciates things that are not easy.

Aug 05, 202232 minEp. 262

Ep 260 - Broken heart cures, forgivable felonies, and little bits of wonder

In this bourbon-soaked story, Juliette comforts Honey, her New Orleans Crazytown counterpart, enjoys a Louisiana lunch, crosses a courtyard, discovers a belfry, risks a felony, underestimates the importance of satsumas, flees a wonderland caterpillar, and slightly revises her suspect life advice.

Jan 16, 202226 minEp. 260

Ep 258 - A life reboot, caravan of amateurs, and two rock ’n’ roll relationships

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette refuses to trust a Mississippi disaster, dodges a blade, takes to the road with the Alley Cats, rides in full of glory, makes desperate calls, raises awareness, gets funky and foul, visits a town where nobody wins, rages over a word, chooses between two rock and roll relationships, and find her way out of logger land.

Jun 13, 202130 min

Ep 257 Pagan mumbo jumbo, bad elements, and a questionable figure

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette encounters a dirty thug in a pink shell, questions a midsummer argument, runs hot with Daisy, visits dead land, hunts down boys and ghosts, flees a troop of handsy locals, meets a disturbing figure, desperately needs a key, and decides to look back.

May 11, 202129 minEp. 257

Ep 256 - The greatest spirit animal ever, harbingers of doom, and outlaw ethics

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette meets spirit animal Edmund, questions wonky streets, is unwelcome at a crawfish boil, dodges carcasses, appreciates a scoundrel, follows the road to hell, discovers a strange hotel, learns how to finesse a lock, volunteers a piano man, and takes her sweet time leaving.

Apr 25, 202123 minEp. 256

Ep 255 - Secret menus, the risks of easy money, and the end of Crazytown

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette picks up where a Crazytown night left off, admits to being a terrible stripper, establishes rabbit hole rules, descends into friendship hell, checks faux hooker backgrounds, attempts to help, goes in for a rage-fueled rescue, bounces but does not splash, gets assaulted by her conscience, and accepts destruction. Be sure to check out episode 100 in The Unwritable Rant archives to hear how this Crazytown story began.

Apr 11, 202130 minEp. 255

Ep 254 - Unsolicited material, a blazing ball of perceived genius, and crushing dreams

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette introduces the worst musician in Los Angeles, reluctantly takes the bait, adds a phrase to her vocab sheet, offers boundless support, revises a bio, reduces to a pile of self pity, attempts a chemistry project, discovers the color of a festering lesion, owes unexpected money, and crushes dreams.

Mar 27, 202129 minEp. 254

Ep 253 - Emoji abuse, joining a winner’s circle, and chewed to death by chihuahuas

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette does a safety dance, reunites with Texas and Birdie, prowls the night, plays the horses, hears scales, profits off a bachelorette party, leads a Bacchanalian rodeo, loses friends to Bourbon Street, finds a Quarter bulldog, breaks up a dirty group hug, and questions expectations.

Mar 14, 202129 minEp. 253

Ep 252 - A corral of crazy, diabolical Bingo, and off-brand synergy

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette survives Mardi Gras, ruins nice things, gets in and gets out, clashes with Myles, detests gold stars, falls below the line, team builds out of spite, wins an award for nothing, plans a diabolical game, steps out with lady Bingo balls, dishes zingers, and realizes a real villain.

Feb 28, 202126 minEp. 252

Ep 251 - Relationship barnacles, camping without traces, and five weeks to a fiancé

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette breaks a bed, encounters relationship rage, eats all the cheese, has no compatibility with Bugsy, makes concessions, accepts poor advice, gets barnacle itchy, reluctantly goes camping, receives training wheels, hears rustling aliens, tears off, rejects a ring, and meets a better fit.

Feb 15, 202129 minEp. 251

Ep 250 - Alternative forms of torture, out of tune strings, and a garbage bag of ice

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette pays off an old debt, takes on a new form of torture, records in East LA, considers a brick wall, kills the teddy bears, cleans up Van Nuys Blvd., puts a gig on the books, improves timing, checks an ego, wrenches all wrong, and understands the price of music.

Jan 31, 202131 minEp. 250

Ep 249 - The good kind of cheating, knowing when to show up, and a questionable Star

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette does something cliche, considers the good kind of cheating, calls in a favor from Dusty, finds a leg, dismisses the girlfriends, has immediate access, moves in on more, hear from an impressive Star, white knuckles her way onto the sidelines, watches a window like a psycho, and understands the right kind of woman.

Jan 24, 202125 minEp. 249

Ep 248 - Recycled salad, stupidity tax, and avoiding raw truth

Juliette is slow to start the new year, fakes her way through football, meets a Rank chef, embellishes her culinary credentials, feels things, finds an overreaching gig, lies for payoff, confronts potatoes, hits a brick wall future, takes a chestful of blame, and accepts stupidity tax.

Jan 10, 202124 minEp. 248

Ep 247 - Criminal caroling, a bloody dash, and a cooler of warm beer

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette considers trading snow for sand fleas, launches a foul drunk with Jackass, becomes suspicious, practices classics, visits John Hughes territory, goes caroling with allegedly merry folks, witnesses a ski mask Santa, becomes a literal Grinch, politely waves, smiles at a Technicolor trail, reconvenes at White Castle, and experiences spirit over sliders. Don’t forget: The Unwritable Rant podcast will be on a two-week holiday break. New episodes b...

Dec 20, 202021 minEp. 247

Ep 246 - A great slab of art, questionable temptations, and a special Christmas errand

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette demonstrates little common sense, maneuvers past vagrants, drives out of bounds, accepts a chilly errand, picks up a great slab of art, questions panty hose, avoids escalators, votes early and often, lies for a date, takes out minty chocolates, and learns nothing.

Dec 13, 202025 minEp. 246

Ep 245 - Creature Christmas, an atomic wonderland, and eating the baby

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette revisits the creatures of Christmas past, looks into her family tree, hears an unexpected thwacking, meets the mother of all Southside bats, appreciates Clydesdales, handles a mean little jerk, reaches a relationship crossroad, delves into secrets and poo pellets, and writes an apology.

Dec 06, 202028 minEp. 245

Ep 244 - A Thanksgiving disadvantage, 20 minute make-outs, and mommy misgivings

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette gets selfish, attempts respectability, lacks a physical demonstration, hates waiting, goes home for Thanksgiving with Treble Clef, meets an ice queen, debates mommy issues, has a dreadful spill, misses every note, meets the right family, and appreciates the power of yellow sticky notes.

Nov 22, 202027 minEp. 244

Ep 243 - Pleasant putdowns, 10 minutes with Kiss, and a labyrinth of disasters

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette desperately needs a line, takes a one-off production gig, locks roadies out, misses a gear shift, drives a Jesus van, demands to see Barbarella, cleans up after Gigglesnort the Pomeranian, spends 10 minutes with Kiss, and accepts that she makes a lousy coworker.

Nov 14, 202030 minEp. 243

Ep 242 - Rocky relationships, getting into character, and love at first exhale

On this shot of bourbon-soaked story telling, Juliette sits on the outskirts, experiences a Rocky relationship, rallies over rejection, accepts a crushed smoke, attends the theater, longs to peel skin, makes an inappropriate call to action, gives a remiss kiss, and appreciates a new friend.

Nov 07, 202025 minEp. 242

Ep 241 - Unwilling hypnosis, goat horns, and a heaping of medieval necromancy

On this shot of bourbon-soaked scary storytelling, Juliette welcomes Halloween, discusses her evil to good ratio, dates a Satanist, heads to a cabin in the woods, rearranges an alter, experiences unwilling hypnosis, becomes an unwitting Earth mother, is outnumbered by a coven, mousetraps a circle, summons a demon, experiences pounding, and hopes for distance.

Oct 24, 202033 minEp. 241

Ep 240 - Lathering over LaLaurie, shedding dead weight, and shucking more than oysters

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette listens with too much enthusiasm, lacks $300 worth of information, consults her mental map, considers murder plans, doubles her foursome, walks to the LaLaurie Mansion, encounters a ghost tour, tells the less grim version, doubts crab monsters, confronts an oyster knife, dodges a brick, and learns who gets the last word.

Oct 17, 202026 minEp. 240

Ep 239 - Revisiting Clarissa, killer clowns, and a Crazytown Halloween

On this shot of bourbon-soaked scary storytelling, Juliette plays the part of the Cryptkeeper, contemplates dread, decides on a piercing, meets Clarissa, finds blood on white vinyl, receives a dermal punch, flees the scene, wears a slutty costume, goes trick or treating with Crazytown, encounters the old house, gets trailed by clowns, debates candy pelting, and comes to a blazing conclusion.

Oct 10, 202033 minEp. 239

Ep 238 - Creepy creativity, drug store demons, and harvesters of decay

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette gets into Halloween prep, prefers scary to merry, builds a haunted house, misunderstands evil chickens, channels a drug store devil, annoys a flock of nuns, receives parental involvement, is threatened with a party, witnesses three courses of fear, and appreciates the harvesters of decay.

Oct 03, 202029 minEp. 238

Ep 237 - A noisy beacon, bathroom confrontations, and a bully reckoning

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette learns that nothing is easy, receives an unwelcome email, remembers the so-called human Macy, earns a groupie golden ticket, enjoys a limited friendship, calls a teen party line, begins to miss certain things, experiences her first bathroom confrontation, suffers consequences, has lunch with a bully, and experiences a difficult reckoning. Remember, October is National Bullying Prevention Month. Visit www.stompoutbullying.or g for resources, e...

Sep 27, 202029 minEp. 237

Ep 236 - Recreating Woodstock, gas can booze, and Crazytown on wheels

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette discusses hurricane preparation, plans a Rock ’N Rollin Eve with Crazytown, negotiates like a rodeo clown, books a fantasy, deals with soap scum, melts down, eyes a thong leotard, forgets an exit strategy, meets Lady MacDeath and the Barbie Beaters, accepts the inevitable, and declines the leftovers.

Sep 19, 202030 minEp. 236

Ep 235 - Touching privileges, eating my own heart, and a Homecoming intervention

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette sends soap flying, enters an arrangement of convenience, appreciates a stronger cadence, considers homecoming, dates an older guy, rejects a steady stream, wears a flower bomb, reconsiders misgivings, enjoys three dances, attempts to break grip, endures stares, and walks away with the best alternative. This episode is sponsored by Sacred Hollow, a modern witch box service. Visit SacredHollowBox.com for more information...

Sep 05, 202025 minEp. 235

Ep 234 - Conditional couples, garage sale hot plates, and a social scorecard

On this shot of bourbon-soaked storytelling, Juliette is too much to invite back, debates the conditions of friendship, meets The Oscars, breaks out her deranged microscope, refuses to connect imaginary dots, attends a murder-free block party, makes a gross mistake, sets a garage on fire, and accepts a blip on her social scorecard. This episode of sponsored by Sacred Hollow, a modern witch box service. Visit www.SacredHollowBox.com for more information.

Aug 29, 202024 minEp. 234
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