If you’ve ever frozen mid-conversation, overthought what to say, or replayed a moment 500 times in your head… this episode for you. You’ll learn a 4-step framework—borrowed from a literal fighter pilot—that’ll help you stop second-guessing and start speaking up . You don’t need a new personality. You don’t need to be the loudest person in the room. You need a system that keeps you present and moving forward. This is that system. Let’s go. NEXT STEP: QUIZ - Do you know what your communication sty...
Apr 22, 2025•11 min
Are you putting in effort to get better socially... but still feel stuck? If you’re an overthinker, this might sound familiar: 👉 You’re applying effort—but not seeing the results you want. 👉 You feel like you're doing the right things—but progress is slow. 👉 You’re trying—but something’s not clicking. That’s not a sign you should give up. It’s a sign that your effort might be getting stalled in one of five traps that slow down your progress: ✅ You’re not practicing often enough ✅ You’re pract...
Apr 09, 2025•16 min
Quick question for you: How can you jump into a conversation without feeling awkward? Ever find yourself hesitating to join a group, fearing you'll disrupt their flow? You're not alone! It’s normal to fear that awkward silence that hits when you walk over. But don't worry, I've got some tips to help you start more conversations in your day-to-day life. In this episode of the BMC podcast I cover… ✅ A mindset shift that will help you take action instead of hesitating. ✅ Why you should stop trying ...
Aug 06, 2024•10 min
Belief you need to unlearn: Everyone is constantly judging you. Unlearning this can make you more socially successful, a better communicator and help you stop overthinking social situations. Why is this important? Believing everyone is judging you can paralyze you in social situations, making you hesitant to speak up in meetings, approach new people, or share your ideas. Letting go of this belief can unlock new opportunities—leading to better relationships, increased confidence, and less overthi...
Jul 16, 2024•11 min
Do you have to step out of your comfort zone to be interesting? Yes, but shattering your comfort zone isn’t the answer, do this instead. Let's dig in. Good things happen outside your comfort zone. If we all stayed within our comfort zones, we'd be on the couch watching Reels all day. While that's safe and low-risk, it means missing out on opportunities for growth. Stepping out of your comfort zone can lead to meeting new people, starting relationships, finding new job opportunities, and discover...
Jul 09, 2024•12 min
Do you ever feel nervous meeting new people? Here's a game-changing concept: You don't have to like everyone, and not everyone has to like you. This realization can make your interactions smoother and less nerve-wracking. ✅ Embrace that not every interaction will be magical. ✅ Increase your "surface area of luck" by meeting more people. ✅ Focus on your 50% of the interaction—be open and enthusiastic. I's about quantity leading to quality. I cover more on this episode. NEXT STEP: QUIZ - Do you kn...
Jul 02, 2024•9 min
A belief that you need to unlearn is “You need to be perfect to succeed” “Perfect” can take many forms socially... “I need to say something really profound in this meeting.” “I could say that thing, but it’s not interesting enough.” “I could ask this question, but it might sound silly.” "Perfect" is that imaginary bar that you need to jump over to give yourself permission to speak up. It's a trap! This belief can hold you back because it makes it harder to take action and practice. Why is this i...
Jun 25, 2024•16 min
Do you want to make more friends, build your network, and throw parties that make people say “I can’t WAIT for the next one!”? My guest Nick Gray is here to show you how! He’s sharing secrets straight from his book The 2-Hour Cocktail Party . In this episode, you’ll learn: How throwing a cocktail party will expand your network. How to get 90% attendance at your party. When/how to send out reminders. Why guest name tags are crucial. What days of the week to throw a party. (It's not what you think...
Jun 18, 2022•52 min
Note : Video version of this episode is on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/331eiJKvKIc Look, we’ve ALL been in social situations where we feel a little nervous. Maybe we want to make a good first impression, be more charismatic and charming, or just have a good interaction. In this episode, we’ll look at 5 ways to be charming even when you’re nervous. And we’ll look at none other than the Batman himself, Robert Pattinson. We’ll breakdown specific things he does that you can use next time you want...
Mar 03, 2022•12 min
Note : This episode is on YouTube here . Wonder Woman has... Super strength. Super speed. A Super lasso. Gal Gadot has a superpower too: super charisma. In this video, I'll breakdown 5 ways Gal Gadot displays charisma and how you can adapt them for your own personal charisma. Hop in your invisible jet, grab your lasso of truth and enjoy this episode of Compelling Breakdowns ! NEXT STEP: QUIZ - Do you know what your communication style is? Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your resu...
Dec 18, 2020•14 min
I used to think time travel would be awesome...until I read an 1883 etiquette book. Life in the 1880s: 17 drinks before breakfast. Waiting for the automobile to be invented. Some light assault of service people. More drinking. Grab your powdered wig, dust off your top hat, get in your horse and buggy and let’s learn some Victorian-era etiquette! NEXT STEP: QUIZ - Do you know what your communication style is? Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your results . AUDIO GUIDE - Grab my fre...
Dec 17, 2020•11 min
Have you ever wondered how to not be boring in a conversation? Maybe you really want to be more interesting, but you don't know how, maybe you KNOW deep down that you’re not boring, but you just need some pointers. In part 2 of this series, we're going to cover 4 ways you can be less boring and more interesting in a conversation. NEXT STEP: QUIZ - Do you know what your communication style is? Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your results . AUDIO GUIDE - Grab my free audio guide on...
Oct 29, 2020•10 min
Building the skill of being witty in conversation is super important. When you meet a new person at work, for example, and you're able to crack a joke, it demonstrates that you don't take yourself too seriously, have a good sense of humor, and are socially skilled. All good things! If you've ever wondered how to be witty in conversation, this episode will fix you up! We'll look at three clips of Will Ferrell, and I'll breakdown the witty thing he's doing so that you can start to be more witty an...
Sep 25, 2020•13 min
It's been two YEARS since I've done a Q&A show. That's far too long! Today, we're going to cover three questions: 1. How can you make conversation with the company CEO in the elevator? 2. Should you skip small talk and jump right to big talk? 3. How can you feel comfortable around new people? Let's dive in! NEXT STEP: QUIZ - Do you know what your communication style is? Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your results . AUDIO GUIDE - Grab my free audio guide on group conversation...
Sep 18, 2020•11 min
Building the SKILL of talking to anyone with confidence is SO important. If you're not able to  communicate with confidence, it'll be more difficult to advance in your career, lead/inspire your team at work, or be confident in a social situation. In this episode ( video here on YouTube ), I'll show you 5 ways to talk to anyone with confidence. You'll want to stick around till the end of the episode because I'll outline the biggest mistake people make while trying to be confident. Let's dive in...
Sep 12, 2020•11 min
If you've ever wondered how to network with people, you're not alone. When someone says "Networking" it makes me think of American Psycho where a bunch of yuppies sit around comparing business cards. "MY GOD...IT EVEN HAS A WATERMARK." Networking doesn't have to feel that way! And in 2020, most networking is sending a DM or email. But how can you get noticed (in a good way) and connect with people who could take your business or career to the next level? In this episode, we'll cover 6 ways you c...
Sep 04, 2020•13 min
Have you ever wondered how to not be boring in a conversation? Maybe you really want to be more interesting, but you don't know how, maybe you KNOW deep down that you’re not boring, but you just need some pointers. This episode is for you. I'll cover 6 ways you can be less boring and more interesting in conversation. NEXT STEP: QUIZ - Do you know what your communication style is? Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your results . AUDIO GUIDE - Grab my free audio guide on group conver...
Aug 25, 2020•12 min
How To Be A Great Storyteller. Having the skill of telling a few good stories is a really important people skill. Pulling out a great story can be a fantastic way of entertaining people, providing information or even persuading others. In this episode, I'm going to break down a story by Bill Hader and walk you through 4 tips on how to tell a great story. You'll be able to use these storytelling tips in your next Zoom meeting for work, or the next time you hang out with people. YouTube video link...
Aug 14, 2020•11 min
In this episode, I'll share 5 tips to help you stop being shy. I spent YEARS being shy, and it was really hard, because I knew that I had so much that I wanted to contribute in social situations. These tips will help you break the shyness cycle and be less quiet in your next social interaction. NEXT STEP: QUIZ - Do you know what your communication style is? Take this quiz and get a custom report based on your results . AUDIO GUIDE - Grab my free audio guide on group conversations here (Includes ...
Aug 07, 2020•14 min
Look, if you have a habit of people-pleasing, you probably get requests like ... "Can you hop on this Zoom Meeting?" "Hey, can you drive me to the Airport on Friday?" "Hey, can you petsit my Egyptian Pharaoh Hound? He requires constant fanning with a palm leaf." People pleasers tend to say "Yes!" too much. And it comes with a cost! The more you say yes to others, the lest time and energy you have for yourself. In this episode, I'll walk you through some tips to help you stop people-pleasing. NEX...
Jul 28, 2020•11 min
"Just fake it until you make it!" This is popular advice-especially if you're trying to improve your people skills. Should you fake it until you make it? The more we take action and do something, the more our identity moves to align with the version of us that does that new thing. Our thoughts FOLLOW our actions. In this episode, I'll walk you through a couple of tips that will help you make it, (and not fake it.) NEXT STEP: QUIZ - Do you know what your communication style is? Take this quiz and...
Jul 21, 2020•8 min
Should you care what other people think? There’s a lot of advice floating around telling us to not care what other people think. (Sometimes in more...colorful language than that.) I’ve never liked the concept of NGAF. But the reality is, caring less about the outcome of any given social interaction can massively help your people skills. In this episode, I’ll walk you through a couple of exercises that will help you declare “outcome independence” with some help from Tim Ferriss and the ancient St...
Jul 16, 2020•11 min
If you've ever looked around the room and thought... "I'm an imposter! What am I DOING here?!" Then you've experienced imposter syndrome. In this episode, we'll drop-kick imposter syndrome and also teach you how to use your ego as a tool. --- People mentioned: Scott Adams Platon --- Be sure to go to Become More Compelling and get your free 56-minute audio guide on joining & enjoying group conversations. (You'll also get articles, podcasts, videos and much more to help you supercharge your pe...
May 20, 2020•12 min
Most people hesitate socially. "Should I say this or that?" "I don't want to rock the boat!" It's time to get BOLD. In this episode, we'll talk about how to be socially bold. --- Be sure to go to Become More Compelling and get your free 56-minute audio guide on joining & enjoying group conversations. (You'll also get articles, podcasts, videos and much more to help you supercharge your people skills!) --- Have feedback or have a question you'd like to have me answer on a future episode? Let ...
May 07, 2020•9 min
The intent you carry into any social situation matters! If you're not thinking about the right things, it can make having great social outcomes MUCH harder. In this episode, we'll talk about social intent and what you can do before your next Zoom meeting, first date, or dinner party. (After COVID-19 quarantines clear) --- Be sure to go to Become More Compelling and get your free 56-minute audio guide on joining & enjoying group conversations. (You'll also get articles, podcasts, videos and m...
May 06, 2020•7 min
Look-real talk: Socially awkward moments happen. For most of us, an awkward moment can ruin a conversation, first date, or am important meeting. Not anymore. In this episode: How to bounce back from awkward moments. --- Be sure to go to Become More Compelling and get your free 56-minute audio guide on joining & enjoying group conversations. (You'll also get articles, podcasts, videos and much more to help you supercharge your people skills!) --- Have feedback or have a question you'd like to...
May 05, 2020•7 min
Have you ever been talking to someone and it seems like they already know what they’re going to say, and they’re just waiting for you to stop talking so they can say what they want? I call this the “spring-loaded response trap” and it signals to the other person that you’ve checked out of the conversation. (Not a good look if you want to have better interactions with other people.) Often, this happens because people lock on to something they KNOW they can respond to in conversation. And then the...
May 04, 2020•7 min
No one likes to be interrupted. But look, it's bound to happen from time to time. Maybe your new friend brings up something that you know a lot about, and you interject. In this episode, we'll cover what you can say to get back on track and show the other person that you were listening, not just waiting for your turn to speak. (We'll also cover what to do if you were interrupted.) --- Be sure to go to Become More Compelling and get your free 56-minute audio guide on joining & enjoying group ...
May 01, 2020•8 min
There's this jerk of a cognitive bias called the Spotlight Effect. We tend to place more importance on ourselves in any given social situation. And we tend to overestimate the amount that other people notice us. When it comes to improving our people skills, this isn't helpful. Here's how to use it to your advantage! --- Be sure to go to Become More Compelling and get your free 56-minute audio guide on joining & enjoying group conversations. (You'll also get articles, podcasts, videos and muc...
Apr 30, 2020•6 min
If you've ever caught yourself thinking "They think I'm awkward/quiet/shy" then you've fallen into the mind-reading trap. (It's okay, we all do at some point) Mind reading isn't doing you any favors in social situations. In this episode, we'll cover the mind-reading trap and how to avoid it! --- Be sure to go to Become More Compelling and get your free 56-minute audio guide on joining & enjoying group conversations. (You'll also get articles, podcasts, videos and much more to help you superc...
Apr 29, 2020•9 min
