As we've talked about , eric , I now own a home . You own land , yes , and with it comes some land , not a ton , but a little bit of land , but I do back up to a pond .
You do , and it is y'all . It's a majestic little pond it is .
It does have , like this island of growth in the middle . That is , now that we're getting into warmer months it's becoming a little bit more marshy , yes , but it has caused we're sort of nestled in the woods in our neighborhood and it does cause what we refer to as a menagerie of wildlife to show up .
I mean , when I was there , there was like six deer .
Yeah , we have a team , we have a team of six deer that come around fairly regularly , like to eat the shit in our yard . I like , I like the deer quite a bit , even though they're probably bringing ticks into my yard . But oh yeah , the , you know , I do like the deer , they do make me happy .
We have , uh , we have some foxes that can be seen if you're there , if you're looking out the window at the right time , because they're quick , they're you know they're sly , oh , I almost missed them ? Yeah , exactly , we got some bunnies .
Bunnies .
We have so goddamn many birds and squirrels that it'd knock your socks off . We have hawks , we got tons of Orioles . We have robins , we've got woodpeckers .
You're rocking an entire ecosystem here , my guy .
No , truly , there is an entire ecosystem , for sure . Raccoons We've got raccoons as well , and all of this to say that it all brings me , yeah , great joy . You know I , it's very relaxing . I , we got a little bench out there by the pond . I like to sit on the pond to have lunch late I like to do these things .
A blue heron came by last week um to the pond . Found no fish immediately left but stop by .
It gave you a chance but it's not by .
And we have a ton of frogs , so many frogs spring peepers , bullfrogs . Truly , we have a menagerie .
This sounds pastoral . This sounds .
Yes , you can sit on our deck or in our room with all the windows that we've talked about before and watch wildlife all day long if you so desired , and my parents have been here a couple times , and my mom seems to want to do nothing , but do that , just sit and so , all in all , it sounds very nice , very lovely .
But oh , what's this I spot on the horizon ? Is that a ? Is that an incoming but ?
but there it is , damn it , it Crash landed , oh . But in the last week or two , a new challenger has approached . Uh-oh , a new animal has entered my kingdom , oh , and I don't find him to be a welcome guest .
Okay , okay . So this is very much a new creature's entered the king's wood . Yes , and the king is not pleased .
Now the creature in question , and I think everything will become clear when I say this is a goose .
Oh yeah , it's a goose . You don't want no part of that man .
It's a goose . He's shitting everywhere , as geese tend to do . Oh , you're fucked . But here's the thing , eric , he's a goose . He's shitting everywhere , as geese tend to do . Oh , you're fucked . But here's the thing , eric , he's a Canadian goose . What is the thing about Canadian geese that you'd think is kind of their thing ? They're ornery as fuck .
Well , sure , there's that . I feel like geese and swans just are that way , but don't they normally , you know , know , travel in a flock ?
uh yeah aren't they this ?
one is this one alone . They normally travel in a flock . This one is alone , lone goose , and he's just hanging out . He's not leaving , he's just there , and you know I don . He's pooping everywhere . This is annoying to me . So I have yelled at the goose from the window a couple of times and I've said goose , get on out of here , get on get .
So what you're saying is the goose is loose .
The goose is loose , and what's funny is when I yell at him , he does listen . He does exit my yard , goes to the pond . Oh nice , he'll fucking come back . Oh yeah , I'll come back . And I want you to what I'm about to say .
Eric might sound like I'm putting on a show , that I'm putting on a persona yeah , but the following thing happened I went out on Thursday to have my lunch . My little Sammy , yeah , on the bench . I get to the bench , I look to my right who's sitting on the banks with me ? But the goddamn , are you shit dog ?
and so I hit him with the like go on , get oh , okay , for a second I thought you struck the goose get on out of here , go on . No , but you got it .
You hit him with one of them and he didn't move and I had already sat down . I didn't see him before I sat down and we have all these squirrels and stuff , so I was nervous about leaving my sandwich because it might get stolen by a squirrel . Yeah , a squirrel could run off with my whole goddamn lunch . So I don't want that .
And so I'm sitting there and I so I'm just yelling at a goose , I'm like go on , get . And he's like , and I'm like no shoo . And I threw a stick past him , like I want to be very clear . I was not trying to hit the goose , I was trying to intimidate the goose . Your honor , your honor , I have better aim than that .
Your honor the goose was loose .
Your honor , the goose is a goose and the your . The judge said oh asshole . And said innocent . So I've dealt with them geese . So I'm like a reverse tony soprano now I . I'm now finding fault with the geese so I get at one point I give up . He's sitting there , I'm sitting there .
I assume it's a he , because he's he has an attitude that says angry man this is oh here , much like myself here comes a man oh great , here comes a man .
Couldn't have been a bear , had to be a man and so I look over to my right at one point I'm trying to do my contemplations , but I'm distracted by the goose that I'm worried might attack me for some reason , maybe because I'm yelling at it . And this is the part that I think people are going to think I'm making up . I'm not making this up .
This is how I live my life . He starts standing on one leg Okay , like a flamingo , like he just pops up .
Pops the kickstand up on one leg . Everything about this paints a picture of this goose is trying to send you a message , and it is not good .
So I turn to the goose and I say I say to the goose , I'm talking to a goose now , eric . I said what am I supposed to be impressed ?
I said this , I said this out loud , in the privacy of my backyard , and the goose turned to me and went , and so then I finished my sandwich , I could safely chase the goose into the water , which is exactly what I did , and he honked at me along the way , and so I thought this is how it's going to go .
I'm just going to yell at the goose from time to time . Just so happened , we had this intimate moment out on the bench . And then yesterday , eric , oh man , I got my windows right here to the right . Sometimes them deer , they come right up to the window , they just come right on up to eat the grass by my house , and so I can get real close .
If I don't move , I can observe them real close . I can get real close . If I don't move , I can observe them real close . Yeah , real , real close , like two feet away .
Their brains haven't even processed that there's something behind that shiny piece of glass .
If they see me , they'll look at me long enough to be like are you going to come out here ?
All right . No , You're going to leap through that tiny hole and murder me . Yeah .
So they're eating away , I'm enjoying them . Yeah , so they're eating away , I'm enjoying them . I got my little coffee . I'm like , look at me observing my nature in my house , everything's nice . And then all of a sudden their heads pop up on a swivel , they start jumping around and I'm like whoa , what's going on ? What's going on ?
I'll tell you what's going on . Out of the woods comes charging the goose . He's chasing my deer . Now eric , bro , this goose chasing my deer around . And eric , I want you to know . I didn't hesitate . I said oh fuck , no , you're not fucking with my deer , absolutely not .
And so I I power it out the back door and go hey , get the fuck out of here to this goose . And I want you to know , everyone and in this case everyone is wildlife , the deer , the goose , they all stop and look at me . I have everyone's attention . I have six deer and a goose looking at me and I said get the fuck out of here .
And somehow , by the grace of nature , they all understood that I was talking to the goose , because the deer stayed and the goose left . Oh , my god . So I have an all-out war happening with the goose , and I don't know if the mic picked that up . But that squishy sound you heard just now listeners was eric rubbing his eyeball .
He was , I had , no , I I like . Surely that's not getting picked up by the ?
that was . It was loud enough that I heard it over here .
Oh man , thank you sure for this wonderful mic .
And hear my how hard are you rubbing them ?
oh , bro , you gotta , you gotta get it stop , eric .
It's not good what you're doing now . You gotta get in there , eric . It's soft tissue , my guy , you don't want to be doing because I massage it can't let it get firm .
no , eric , it's soft because it's a weak point . I can't have my eyeballs getting all al dente .
So , eric , I say all this to say what do I do about my loose goose .
Well , ladies and gentlemen , thank you for joining us Now beginning Goose Watch 2K24 . Goose Watch 2K24 . You for joining us now beginning goose watch 2k 24 goose 2k 24 , a new segment we just invented right now .
Uh yeah , goose watch , this is gonna be an honor , this is 100 .
I am so invested in your relationship with foulest foul . Yes , yes , so , yes , so yes . Good foul ball , so fair and foul . A joke I have not heard .
Yes , oh , we got geese and Shakespeare in the cold open .
Ladies and gentlemen , yeah , this is a bit now Fucking dude dude . So so far it , the goose , is testing your limits right now . I want you to know that this is , do you know , in jurassic park . He's like oh yes , the raptors . They ran at the wall and they're testing us that , that is , that the goose is poking at your defenses right now .
He's respectfully backing off . He doesn't want to . He doesn't want to , he's looking for a weak point , full-out war . Yeah , no , he's . He's looking for that chink in your armor .
He's ain't gonna find one . Oh , I'm fortified .
Okay , I'm fortified baby and I'll tell you something else .
I think this podcast has already begun . So hello everybody and welcome to you . Didn't Ask For this the podcast answering life's least pressing questions , my name's Matt . Shea , my name's Eric Poach . What would you have me do listeners about the goose I I'll .
I'll tell you this much tell me , you're a brave man , thank you .
You have not only yelled at the goose , you have , thank you , tossed a stick in the goose's general direction in the general at the goose cannot emphasize that enough I've done similar when there's a bird , like when I was like , I was like , yeah , I was like , if I make a noise happen somewhere in its vicinity that it can't tie to me , that it might freak
it out and it'll leave if it attacks them deer again , I will throw a stick at the goose .
I'm not afraid and I'll hit it oh , you're gonna hit the .
Would you hit the goose ? Look me , look me in eyeballs right . Would you throw hands at that goose , eric ? The world is listening .
Eric . He is attacking six peaceful , beautiful deer .
Has he physically attacked the deer has he come- ?
Yes , he chased them around , he chased them , but did he strike them ? Are you suggesting that him chasing him around is not malicious intent ?
No , I just want to make sure that we're tempering narratives here .
I'm not going to hesitate to hit a goose , I'll never . Okay , not with my bare hands . No , if he charges me I'll run away . I'm afraid you can't strangle it . Good luck , can I not ? He's got that neck . He's got so much neck . That's what I'm saying . It seems very grabbable . Wow , man , I feel I've never .
I've never , I've never you know , fouled a fowl . Onze is your brave man , man , canada gooses would not fucks with .
And to our Canadian friends let me know how do I deal with your geese ? Yeah , how do I Matt Shea ? Not how do I murder them . How do I get them ?
to go back home or go elsewhere . I'm a I don't mean just gonna stay here all summer . Look , I'm not trying to speak for other people here and their experiences , but canadians , I'm gonna . I'm just gonna go ahead and guess that the answer you're gonna get is that you wait until the goose gets bored with you eric , we'll see , I'm just .
All I'm saying is I don't like this goose's attitude .
No , that's fair . Hey , that's fair , that's fair . I'm just saying goose , watch 2K24 about to .
We got a good thing going here in my menagerie . Okay yeah , everyone's having a good time and this goose is coming in here to ruin it .
Man , do I have to be the Ian Malcolm to your John Hammond ? Maybe you do , okay , maybe you fucking do .
Okay , and with that , how about a question ?
Yeah , let's get into it All right .
so we actually had a question that we poured , that has been poured over from last episode , that we didn't quite get to , eric , would you like to present it to us now ?
this question comes from none other than dj joey g . Dj joey g , that's my best friend , joey . If the theory about all of reality being a simulation is true , what are some real life examples of quote glitches or bugs in the simulation ?
that's from dj joey g . Thank you , dj these are the kinds of things that keep joey awake at night okay , sure , but also like , did it keep him away at night or did he just see the matrix ? Because I'm pretty sure the matrix provides an answer to this and it's deja vu .
But true , deja vu is one example , obviously , but like what are ? Other examples like like what are things that happen in our lives ? I'm like that was a fucking glitch in the matrix .
Yeah , so you got one teed up for us , eric I do .
Yesterday we were driving down 95 and looked over and there's a gentleman just chugging a modelo while driving . Oh a what ? A modelo the beer the beer and like when we say chugging like , not like sipping , like actively chugging the modelo .
Yeah , one hand , other hand on the steering wheel he was having himself a good old-fashioned rodelo and I assume , just to be clear , you called the police .
Yes , Well , we saw him as we were like we did not have time to get license plate or anything . We never saw it , so it was just like we didn't have time to go what the fuck ? And he was just gone , oh , like a mirage . So that felt like a glitch Because it was like running two different programs at the same time .
It was like he was on Friday night program and drive car program at the same time .
I guess yeah , I don't know that that is a glitch in the Matrix so much , as it is just Deeply upsetting Deeply upsetting to me anyway that you would see such a thing . Yeah , because I feel like a glitch in the matrix is somewhat I talked about this before like the time I saw when I was a kid . I saw my priest , monsignor Yutz .
I saw Monsignor Yutz in street clothes in a grocery store and specifically those street clothes were a whole were . Were was a hawaiian shirt , shorts and flip-flops , and I had to stare at him a moment before I said wait a minute , hold on . I know you , we've talked about this before , but that I'm saying seeing someone outside of where they're supposed to be .
You know , yeah , that that seemed unusual to me that is true , the reason I'm looking at you like this , with a face of like , of hmm , oh , did I freeze no you unlocked a childhood memory for me and I'm not fucking with you when I say this when I went to church as a child .
Yeah , we had father , father gene , father gene , he ran like the the children's mass . He was very , very nice , very jovial man , sure . I once ran into him in a supermarket . Okay , in his street clothes , nice matt , he was wearing a hawaiian shirt , shorts , oh my sandals .
Are you shitting me ?
no , I'm not , I've told this .
I've told this story on the podcast before .
You didn't mention this I , I know , but like , I forgot , like , because I was like when you said , father yutz , the way somewhat , the way you would say , uh , the way you could communicate only if you had a connection to a childhood priest and excuse me , how dare you , monsignor , sorry , monsignor yutz . Um , it made me think of father gene .
I I was like , oh right , I did run into Father Gene one time out in the wild and he was wearing a Hawaiian shirt , shorts and sandals , do you think so ?
okay , did you have a conversation with Father Gene ?
No , or if we did , it was just like a brief , like hi , father Gene .
Because I saw this man and I said Monsignor Yutz , and he was like , matthew , how nice to see you . And so you know , we were chatting and I said , well , the only thing I could think of which is I didn't recognize you at first Cause you know no collar and whatnot .
And and he was like , yeah , sometimes , uh , I , you know , we'll go in street clothes when we have you know something to do and we don't necessarily want to be recognized . And I was like , oh so I really ruined that for you , really fucked us up .
So you're screaming across the room . Oh my senior you .
Yeah , I guess from time to time they want to just be able to get groceries without having to bless something .
Having to fight several demons in the Wegmans .
But instead they got the demon that is me appeared to them .
My senior , yes , Silence .
Matthew Silence , don't let them know .
Here , have a cracker , have a seasonless , flavorless little cracker .
It's seasoned with the Lord .
Enjoy . Wash it down with alcohol .
That an 80-year-old woman just drank out of here you go , so I do . Okay , have you seen a Catholic priest down the wild in a Hawaiian shirt ? Tell us your experience . A catholic priest down the wild in a wine shirt ? Tell us your experience .
Perhaps what we are discovering is this is some sort of you know , to put this in soccer terms a third kit , if you will , and you know the alternate uniform where I was going with that elusive .
Where I was going with that is matt . It may be not a glitch , but not not so much a bug but a feature of the simulation is that when you see your monsignor out in the fucking wild , he's going to be in a Hawaiian shirt and shorts . Are you a ?
Catholic priest ? If so , tell us two things .
Give us your secrets One .
Okay , what isn't the Vatican telling us ? I don't want all the secrets maybe . I just want to know about . No , you can take the gross secrets to the police . Give me the cool illuminati secrets yes , give the other secrets to chris hansen and to me . I just want to know about the hawaiian shirts . And also , why are you listening to this show ?
I just like what is the draw are you trying to get your finger to the pulse of sin ?
do you think that's what we do here ? Do you think we , too are the biggest sinners in the podcast game ? No , we're not the biggest sinners .
But like , Okay , good Mosquitoes need a pool to breed in . Yeah the water's fine .
I actually think it's in my backyard . Yes , because them skeeters have come in too . Oh , yes , they have .
No , I don't call them skitas , I don't think , I like to think fondly that the vatican is monitoring our activities . Oh , probably . Uh , it is like we're kind of like the waffle house index of of degeneracy throughout the land . I feel like , as long you know , they listen to generally . Okay , this isn't too bad , all right .
I happen to know that papa frank is a big fan . Uh , big , big . Oh . Yeah , uncle frankie , absolutely , if you were the pope , if you send us an email and you have questions boy , god matt what a . This episode is taking a weird religious turn .
But what , what a poll would that be if the Pope did offer to be on our podcast ? Oh , but he has to come to us . We're not asking him .
He has to come to us .
But man , but also imagine the version where we get flown into Vatican City like Tom Hanks in the Da Vinci Code . Yes , where we get led to the Pope ?
Well , we would , yeah , because we're gonna need a translator , obviously we . You know my high school spanish ain't doing so hot , so we'll have to . We'll have to get a translator in there too okay all right . Well , this is quite the side mission we've invented for ourselves .
Yeah , glitches in the simulation .
Yeah , glitches in the simulation , yeah , glitches in the simulation , so we have seeing your priest in a Hawaiian shirt .
Yeah , that's a glitch .
And actually checking my notes , that's all we've come up with .
So far yes .
Yes .
I sincerely believe that oatmeal raisin cookies were a glitch that just got in . They didn't feel like fixing it because we liked it so much .
Are you one of these people that refuse to eat an oatmeal raisin cookie ?
No , I'm just always set . They're fine , they're great , I love them . But every single time I have gone to reach for an oatmeal cookie it's because I was reaching for what I thought was a chocolate chip . They taste fine , they're great , love them . Ain't no chocolate chip .
There's no chocolate chip , and that's what I was going to say as well . Same point you have to know that it's an oatmeal raisin , because , I agree , there's nothing worse , nothing more disappointing anyway , than preparing your mouth to receive a chocolate chip cookie and being greeted by oatmeal raisin .
There's nothing worse no , it'd tear my eyes out . But this isn't something I struggle with a chocolate chip cookie and being greeted by oatmeal raisin . There's nothing worse .
No , it tear my eyes out but this isn't something I struggle with . I can look in oatmeal raisin and see it for what it is . I'm not that confused . Yeah , are you . I'm asking you honestly now are you honestly unable to tell the consistency of an oatmeal cookie versus a regular ?
I should add a clarifier , and I don't mean this to come off as me moving the goalposts , but it would behoove me to clarify , okay , that usually this is a situation where I'm reaching for a like a cookie that's under cellophane , or like wrapped a whole bunch , like it's coming like a lot like I know what I mean , where it's like all I can see is the color
and little , little dark spots and I pray to god , I pray to the lord .
Pray to uncle frank . I feel like you could probably ask the person at the counter , but no , that's too .
That's way too much intimacy . Uh , that's , that's too forward that's too forward .
Okay , interesting , interesting . Where else might one encounter one of these glitches ? Do you think Maybe we need to settle on like a where would it happen ? Kind of thing ?
I feel like it's the kind of shit that happens , like when either no one else is looking at it or you are alone .
Do you think that's ghosts ? Could we call ghosts glitches ?
If reality were a simulation and we cannot disprove that it is uh , I suppose not yeah , I would absolutely believe that ghosts are glitches in the matrix . It's like , uh , it's , it's running through past programming or it's like those beta files are yes yes , I see , I see I could get down with that .
I could , could believe the the mandala effect .
I believe it is 100% a glitch in the simulation .
That's that is a great thing . We are all for sure .
We are remembering a previous patch .
Yeah , the we and I know you've mentioned this on the show before the fruit of the loom . Logo for example .
Yes of the loom logo , for example . Yes , um , the . What's another famous one , apparently , kazam or shazam , the movie with uh , what's his face ?
as a genie . Oh , oh uh yeah , um , oh , my god shack sinbad , um no , no , it's sinbad , I think , or no ? Kazam is a real movie . That's the . That's the movie with shack , yeah that's the movie .
That's what I was talking about . Um , but that is a real movie . That's the movie with Shaq . Yeah , that's the movie with Shaq . That's what I was talking about .
But that's a real movie .
There are people who thought that movie I know that is a real movie and there are people who thought it was called Shazam and swear up and down that it was and that's weird . But I think there was a movie called Shazam . But there was a Marvel movie , but that's not . Or DC movie , but that's not what I'm referring to .
The situation is and I just looked this up to double check that people are misremembering that Sinbad starred in a Kazam-esque movie called Shazam . Oh , he did , but he didn't .
That's the mandala thing I think people are remembering , if I were to venture a guess , kazam starring Shaq , yes , as Sinbad in Shazam , but then , if I'm not mistaken , it was like on Funny or Die or something . Sinbad did make a Shazam movie , like a trailer for it , to add to the mythos . Okay , but yeah , but that's definitely one , definitely yeah .
So Mandala effects Yep , deja vu , deja vu . And your , your drunk driver , I think , is he's more of an NPC , I think . Yes , that's an npc glitching yes , rather than a glitch in the simulation .
Correct , because a glitch in the simulation to me says we're seeing through the veil , you know yes , yes , yes , yes something's been exposed oh I wasn't meant to see that . I wasn't meant to see that . Yeah it .
It's like in the Truman show when , uh , there's that brief moment when the elevator doesn't quite close and he can see that it's like a break room back behind it , yeah , like cardboard . That's the moment . It's the moment of . I wasn't supposed to see that . Yes , yes , yes , yes . I like this . I , you know , I feel Talk to us about it .
Give a call to the thought line 410-929-5329 .
Absolutely yeah . Send us an email , do whatever you want . Let us know your glitches . Anyway , shall we move on to the next question ?
there , we shall , and this comes from Corey from the World Is my Burrito podcast via Zach Deuce .
Yes , zach was very clear . He wanted to give credit where credit is due , so he did bring it to us , to our attention . But it was the world is my burrito . That was talking about this originally . So , corey , you didn't specifically submit this , but nevertheless , thank you for the question . Thank you , corey .
The question is why are they called daddy long legs ? What's the daddy part all about ?
Now I think I'd'd be remiss , eric , when we were talking about questions , to not tee you up to talk about what you were saying off mic with uh , the bow and yang , oh yeah sketch .
There is the famous snl sketch . If you ever just want to , if you ever just need a quick hit of serotonin , just google snl daddy long legs . Um yeah , it's a fun time it's .
It's a good old time , uh , where bone yang plays a , a child at a at a school performance , doing his report on daddy long legs as daddy long legs with the other bugs it's delightful . I won't I won't spoil it too much now , as is my want .
I did do a quick google before we started recording to see if there's a scientific answer and , I'll be honest , I did some scant research . Okay , but from what I was able to tell , no one clearly knows where the daddy part came from , which only validates my , my theory . Go on like ever ever .
It's pretty clear where the long legs came from , yeah , but how daddy got thrown in there . No one seems to agree . So , eric , what I'm seeing is a big open gap for us to drive into . Yeah , it's just now . You say you're .
You're indicating to me you've got a working theory already I do have a working theory hit me and it's it's simple . I I hope it's not too simple to uh , but but much in the words of our , of our acting professor p , simple yet complex okay , uh I like it , the reason he's called daddy long legs . Yeah , he's daddy .
Okay , in the animal kingdom , there are animals that exude different energies , energies that we have actually nicknamed for for people in our society , like , for example , a bear is like a thicker hairier , like man , that's a bear . Yeah , that's a bear . Uh it , and I learned this when I was working at the renaissance festival from one of my castmates .
Uh , who's a delightful . Him and his husband were , were on cast and they were two of the sweetest and funniest human beings I've ever known . Um , yeah , once sat me down and taught me all the delineations . They were like Eric , you , you , you know of bears , you would be what we would probably call a wolf .
Um , and then there is an otter , which is like a bear , which is like you're like the live , like you know , oh , yeah , like , yeah , nimble , nimble , nimble , jack , be , nimble was not , and wet and wet and inexplicably wet , inexplicably wet , and you , so I , so like we've done that as a society , right , like we've we've .
We've said like ah you have the aspect of a bear . We shall call you a bear , I think that little bug . I don't know how he does it , but there's something about his energy . When you see him come towards you it's like , oh , that's daddy here comes daddy .
Now I know that daddy long legs are and I also want to ask do you say daddy long legs or daddy long leggers ? Because I feel like people say both .
Okay , I say daddy long legs because I have never heard another human being in my fucking life Call it really long leggers until this moment . Oh that is not .
Is that a ?
Pennsylvania thing ? Is that a Lancaster thing ?
No , I don't believe so , my friend the . So let me pull up the long leggers . Okay , believe so , my friend the . So let me pull up the long leggers . Okay , so the folicade , folicade which isn't even a spider no , that it is . Uh , the folicide is an animorph spiders . The family consists of more than 18 . Yeah , what did think it was ?
I'm always told that , like , oh , it turns out , long legs isn't actually a spider , it's an insect . What the fuck ?
Okay , well , I don't think that person's real . Okay , um , the family contains more than 1800 , uh , 1,800 individual species of folicids . That's a lot of daddy , including the commonly known cellar spider , daddy long leg spider , carpenter spider , daddy long legger .
This seems to indicate there's two different versions the vibrating spider , jesus , the gyrating spider , long daddy and skull spider . I'm gonna tell you two things now , eric .
What I was , what , what I was gonna say is , when a daddy long legs or a daddy longleg or whatever the fuck you want to call , when these daddies show up , I know that they're supposed to not be harmful to humans and that they're super deadly to other spiders and other insects and they're actually good to have around .
They're amazing to have in your house .
They're doing the Lord's work , absolutely not my house , not fucking my house . I'll tell you that right now , not in your carefully curated garden of delight .
No , they can go in the garden . They can go in the garden all day long they belong out there .
If you enter now , listen I I I've said this before . I've told you my trauma with spiders and where my arachnophobia yes yes , and for new listeners that came from a latrine in the woods , when they in a boy scout account , when they uh swarmed , um , my um , what was it ? Oh right , asshole .
Yes , so spiders up the butt , is going to give you a level of a zero tolerance party policy ? Yeah , if you will . So I will say if I see a daddy longlegs dead , it's dead . Oh , yes , man .
Peru . See , I just I leave daddy longlegs on If it's a spider . I don't want my house , I just get . I do the classic cup and piece of paper , I just scoop it on .
The cup and piece of paper is a honor , is a benefit that I give only to stink bugs Such as what do you mean ? Such as ? Such as stink bugs ? Oh , sorry .
Oh sorry , I thought you said to distinct bugs . I was like do you have like a white list of spiders that made a list individual families of stink bugs .
I was like , isn't there the ?
one , I don't know . Spiders that have received your blessing no no , no To pass through your lens unharmed .
Just bugs that have a defense mechanism that will affect me after death .
Yeah , those are the only ones that get .
They get a valet service outside , an uber eats or an uber delivery service outside of my home .
Yeah , no , everybody else dies . Now I'll tell you this for free . Like I'm not gonna sit here and pretend that I'm like universe , like I have a I have a salt shotgun for flies bought that .
Okay , I was just talking about the salt shotgun to Lindsay and she says it'd be ridiculous to get .
It works very well .
But doesn't it require very good aim ? Not really . And aren't you left with salt all over your house ?
No , it just shoots like a pinch of salt .
Yeah , but isn't that salt then ? Just getting all over a pinch of salt , it like but isn't that salt then just getting all over ?
I mean , if you're so . So basically , when you go to load it , you load it with a like like a , like a bake , like a healthy of salt . So pretty much if you scattered that , or it's good for like 50 shots , so it's like you . You just it's a tiny amount and I'd rather have a little bit of salt somewhere on my floor than flies in my house .
Why don't you just get a ?
fly swatter .
Those . It works so much it's literally you just point at the thing and it's dead , like I don't have to fuck around with it , landing on like any . How much was this thing so you can get them cheap this ?
armament .
Mine was 50 bucks 50 bucks you spent on a salt gun . Yeah , I think Was it 50 ? It might have been 30 . It also looks cool . It's got like nerf . Of course , that's why you paid for it , Eric .
You didn't pay for a good way to get rid of bugs . You paid to shoot bugs with a gun .
Flies specifically . All other bugs are cool by me , yeah right . Flies specifically .
All other bugs are cool by me . Yeah , right , I hate flies . Yeah , and listen . I understand , okay , that some of you might be reaching for the keyboard . Send me an email about all the reasons I should let spiders live . You can save the energy . Okay , You're not going to say anything to me that will get me to stop my murderous rampage against spiders ?
Gang , speaking on behalf of one of my closest friends in the entire world . There ain't no taters where you're digging . My man is entrenched .
You can type up those emails , you can send them . I'll tell you . Maybe if I'm feeling like I want to extinguish your fire , I'll say you've convinced me , but I'm going to speak on behalf of future man . You did not .
that is a lie what's a lot , what a power move saying yeah like yeah , I'll tell you you were right .
No , but I'm just gonna keep on murder yeah , just know that if I respond to you saying I think you've convinced me , I'm gonna let them spiders live , one is actively being murdered yeah , so daddy long legs , so the daddy long legs .
I do want to bring it back real quick to the list of spiders you read off the vibrating and gyrating spider vibrating , gyrating but also long daddy , long daddy . He gets his own theme song like he gets out , he pulls up in his little car , it's his nice little car , and he gets out and she goes .
It's got like the super , like the 70s , like funky fucking beat I am scanning .
I am scanning this wikipedia article for a link or something to the long daddy and it in the intro is the only place long daddy appears Long daddy . Long daddy , don't mess around .
Long daddy don't want you . No on his affairs list . He want you to . No , we long daddies , we just take it as it comes .
Oh , a little bit of a ghoul , yeah , walton .
Goggins , we've been busting that quote out . Oh , we cowboys , we take it as it comes . We take it as it comes , our cowpoke .
Take it as it comes , the one Walton Goggins quote from Fallout . There's so many good ones , but besides the thesis statement of the Fallout games games which is thou shalt be distracted by bullshit every time , besides that , the one that I like saying around the house is now that is one tiny little drop in one great big barrel drugs .
It's so I say that every time I take a melatonin .
That's just one tiny little drop . Oh man , yeah , fallout's so good .
So all that to say ? My working theory is that genus , and now that you've read off all those different ones , I am even firmer in this belief , because they all come from , like it comes from the , the class of spiders that fuck these spiders , fuck , these spiders , fuck , and we need to acknowledge that . And this one , that's daddy let me see .
Let's see if we can get some long .
Let's see what they do okay , I god , I , I want that show . I want the long daddy tv show .
I'm just googling the , the reproduction . Oh wait , here from science news , independent journalism . Oh wait , hear from Science News , independent journalism since 1921 . The weird mating habits of daddy long legs .
I bet they are . I bet they're nasty .
I bet they're nasty .
We're about to learn a whole lot about deity .
Most of us just think , ew , when we see them . But they have this really fascinating suite of mating behaviors . Yeah , they do . The same basic stuff happens with all species in the clade , but the details vary quite a bit . The mating ritual starts with individuals bumping into each other .
Scientists don't yet know how males and females find one another also known as getting funky . Go on getting funky with it . Then , shortly thereafter , males will attempt to engage their females in what's called a mating embrace .
They hook their pita palps , a type of appendage , on the front of their arachnid , behind the female's sensory legs , and then sorry , can we get some some sexy music in the background . I feel like that's suddenly appropriate .
Yeah , yeah , cue the sexy .
Go on , matt . And then there's a bunch of back and forth between males and females that varies in duration across the species .
Keep it cool girl , I'm just going to stop kissing up your legs .
You're just going to feel your sensory legs as I tell you that mating can last for 15 seconds in some species and three to four hours in others . The male then delivers a nuptial gift and his ejaculate and the pair separate . Yeah , it's daddy , ain't it just the way ? That's why the daddy , that's why the daddy .
They get a show , they get treated so right and they're like , oh , by the way , they get a nuptial gift .
They get a nut-tual gift . They get a nut , nice Eric . They give the nuptial gift and then they're out of there . They give you a gift basket . They're not so much daddies as they are fuck boys is what I'm starting to get , daddy fuck boys .
Daddy , daddy fuck legs . Daddy fuck legs , daddy fuck like yeah , but I do like it's like , it feels like . It's like hey , we both know what this is . I'm gonna treat you right , I'm gonna give you this , give you some presents and goodbye .
All right , music bring that music back . The male actually grabs the female's second leg and then they shake them by one leg and in fact this is so particular to the second leg that males , who initially grab other legs on the female , will continue to search until they find that second leg . So there's something really cool going on here . End quote .
He's cool .
Long daddy , long daddy , put her there , girl Put her there .
Us daddy long legs , take as it comes , I want to say , but the current season , the amazing race , is awful . It's really bad , okay , but there is one person on it named rod who is , who does have some good gems from time to time , and he's this big ox of a man . He's a former nfl player and you know so .
He's this huge muscular dude and he there was a . There was a challenge where they had to do welding . That was actually the whole challenge , like welding this thing , figure out that that's a good challenge In a shipyard and then this is the best part of the whole season To get the check . They bring it over to this shipment . Who takes this giant hammer ?
They're just welding a corner of two little tiny steel plates and the man takes the hammer and hits it on the corner to see if it can withstand the blow . And then he does it again and he raises this hammer up like Thor and brings it down , and it's so satisfying when it breaks apart .
But when Rod's held firm , when he got it to work , he went racing back to his partner . It was a detour , so only one of them can do it , you understand , and so they or a roadblock , I should say . And so they do . You watch the music ? No , no , oh , it's very good , you should , I should . Not this season , not this season , okay , but anyway .
So he goes back and he says in , not unlike the voice we've been doing , what can daddy build for you ?
And so . Lindsay and I have said throughout the previous week or two , what can daddy build for you ? So in short , father , long legs . Daddy , fuck boy Father long legs . Father long legs , father thick knees , he will walk up . He will start basically smooching their feet while shaking their leg . Yeah , and then nut .
And then hand that nut that nuttual and a nuptial gift as well , in addition to the ejaculate .
Oh , I thought the nuptial gift was the ejaculate . What's the ? I think it's a .
I don't know , Eric , A nice Prosecco perhaps .
I got you this edible arrangement Nut .
Here you go . I got you a lovely little vial of shea butter and , oh yeah , my ejaculate , not to be confused with my shea butter .
I was about to say .
I'm not playing , I am not the long legger in this scenario . What has happened to ?
us here . Girl , I got you the pink Stanley Cup tumbler .
Don't look inside of it . Please Take it home first . I got you this chocolate covered popcorn and a mystery bag here , girl . I got you this Whitman sampler .
Oh here , girl , I got you this Whitman . Sampler .
Oh no , no , there's Whitman's in it . Why isn't this one filled ? Oh , I'll tell you why it's not .
Oh , those cherries are most cordial . Now I do declare .
Yeah , now we're going . Fodwar and Leghorn , now I know .
Oh , those chairs are most cordial now I do declare yeah , now we're going Foghorn Leghorn .
Now I know , oh man so that's why Daddy wants his daddy .
There you go , Corey and Zach . I don't know how much clearer we could spell that out .
I don't know how much more detail you need , oh man Get it on . Daddy Get it long , Daddy Get it on daddy . Get on , get along , daddy , get it long , get it strong , live long and die , baby , live long and die . All right , eric , I think , as , as we had a premonition about , I don't think we have time for that .
Third , question no we don't it's a good one . It's from my beloved , but we will come back for you .
We'll come back for you , don't you worry , Alyssa ? We'll put that in the queue for next time and in the meantime , eric , we have to move on to a very pressing issue , which is the back half of round one of season four of Google Gripes . For those of you new , google Gripes is a little game that we play from time to time .
We've done three seasons , and this is the fourth now , of what has traditionally been well-known places and we read one-star Google reviews of those well-known places and have a little guessing game if we can figure out the well-known place based on the one star reviews . This time we're mixing things different .
We're doing taking that as it comes , we're doing well-known movies , well-known movies , and if you didn't listen last week , uh , eric , eric was up first with the reviews . I was doing the guessing . I believe I only got one . You got one , so so far it's one , nothing , but of course you have not yet come to bat , but we're gonna change that right now .
And , gang , if you are just now joining us , let me tell you how I , how I'm sweating , because there is . There are a few things you can objectively state about most relationships in your life . You know human dynamics . They shift , they ebb . You can't ever say like this is for sure , like this is I am .
Objectively , this You're Matthew Shea makes me look like a drooling idiot when it comes to knowledge of film , oh , about movie ?
Yes , absolutely yes . You mother , yes , no , I think that is true . But you have , eric .
I want to say you've been hammering this point so hard and when we originally were talking about this in the presence of Lindsay , you and Lindsay both ganged up on me to be like now Matt , basically you said now , matt , you got , if you're going to do this , you got to behave yourself , which I heard and interpreted it as I have to lower my standards down to
Eric's level . So I have three films here that I think and I think this is the barometer that we should know , because you're not going to have seen necessarily all the movies , and neither have I , but I think there are some films that it is reasonable to assume you know about If I wasn't raised in a barn and I don't live under a rock .
I should know these movies and , with that in mind , I have picked three movies oh , hit me , baby and I have ordered them in , as is our tradition , what I believe is easy to hardest , and I am a little worried they're all too easy .
Get along , daddy Long Shea , I guess what .
I'm saying is if you get three for three , I was set up , I was set up , okay and okay , you had an unfair handicap all right , this is becoming the new sort of meta in google gripes .
we have to cushion every round like , just so you know , if you win , I let you , I let you ?
Okay , all right , but hit me . First film , first review . Are you ready ? I am ready . Don't see it if you are a vegetarian , I got up and left .
Okay .
Review number two the blank are all women . Automatic zero , okay , okay . Third review the big lizards made me big spook and I jump . This movie should be for big boys because of how scary it was . Okay , I can go through that one again if you so desire .
I just want to hear the third one again but I tell you what , eric .
I will give you the third one again , but I do , for each of these have a bonus review that I came across and wanted to include , but do not think it helps you in any way okay , sick okay , the bonus review is stop posting one star reviews . This movie is better than your entire life .
Please tell me that was a one star review , it was .
They're all one star reviews .
Delightful .
Okay . So the third one was the big lizards made me big spook and I jump . This movie should be for big boys because of how scary it was . Okay , and those are your four reviews .
So what I know . Don't watch if you're a vegetarian . The blanks were all women . Okay , so I'm getting the vibe . This does sound like a horror movie , or at least like a scary , action-y kind of movie . Don't watch if you're a vegetarian , tells me there's a lot of like meat eating , possibly cannibalism Possibly . The blank are all women . Automatic zero .
I will say , if you're going to try to look up these reviews , I did edit that one besides the blank , to add the and all in brackets . I think I have a guess , okay . Okay , you think you have a guess . I was going to give you a hint , but if you're ready to guess , you don't need . I think I have a guess . Okay , I'll see .
Okay , you think you have a guess .
I was going to give you a hint , but if you're ready to guess , you don't need , I'm going to , I'm going to , I'm going to , I'm going to , I'm going to , I'm going to .
Is this the descent , the descent . What a pull , eric . Is that your final answer ? That is no damn it is incorrect and you are going to kick yourself . Oh , what was it ? Because you oh fuck mentioned this movie .
Me in god damn it , son of a bitch . Oh , oh oh . I have just dishonored my house so hard . It's one of my girlfriend's favorite movies of all time and I fuck we are discussing jurassic park yeah , we are , because the dinosaurs are all women . Yeah , big spoo , big lizards . I thought big lizards would give it away too .
I and I . I I will say I was going to include a review that had something to do with steven spielberg , but I thought that's too big of a hint . I think yeah .
Yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , okay Okay .
Okay , all right .
Wow , god , I am abs Kick , kick , kick .
Hey , now you know how I feel , because that's how I felt about Home Alone . Yeah .
As soon as you gave me the answer .
I was like , film for film , we're tied at zero because I got the second one and not the first or third . So here we go . Are you ready ? Okay , I'm ready . The Blank Series is one of the worst film franchises of all time and it is not worth watching at all .
Bad writing , bad acting from rather great actors , boring music and it is disrespectful to all things fantasy and fantasy related . One out of ten . Okay , ready for the second review ? Ready ? I was forced to watch this movie on a bus to Montreal during a very long field trip with my school . I had expected something bad , but from the intro on I was disgusted .
Had expected something bad , but from the intro on I was disgusted . The only humor in this movie is extremely crude humor and nothing else . Blank is a one-dimensional character who is such a bully that nobody can relate to him , let alone a terrible role model for kids . Also , the parts where a literal blank was falling in love with a princess was so disgusting .
Literally two different species kissing and getting married on the spot Like what the hell . Okay , so we got a very problematic second review .
Yeah .
And I got a third . And again , for each of these I do have a bonus , so there's a bonus as well . Okay , it's so bad . I don't like DreamWorks Absolutely awful . Me and my brother are the target age demographic and we still hate it . One willy wonka hat out of 13 boo what the fuck ? And all of that feels like misdirection .
Basking it eric all right , you want your bonus review yeah , bonus review . When I first laid my eyes upon this new coming-of-age film , I was flabbergasted , horn-swoggled , if you will , absolutely mind-boggled . This work of art changed my life forever . I watches this movie as a boy and came out a man when I finished it .
I now know blank is love , blank is life . Blank lives in all of us .
After rewatch mid okay , okay , okay and again .
Take all the bonuses with a grain of salt , because I include them , because I think they're funny , but I don't actually think they help you , matthew . Yes , sir , yes , sir , what can I do for you ? So I know what it is . Talk me through it .
Oh , you know what it is . I know exactly what it is because , very unfortunately for you , beating the fuck around the bush with it , the bonus review did give it away , really , because shrek is love , shrek is life . That is a well-known internet saying , and so you think it's shrek .
I think it's shrek .
Damn , you are correct I should not have included the bonus review oh , as soon as I heard blank is love , blank is like , I was like the first three , just immediately click . I was like , oh , donkey and the dragon , he's a bully because he's a and fan . I was like bam dream , we're okay , all right well , hey , I included the review .
Oh , I'm giving you that bonus review on the third one after you guess now yeah lesson learned ? I thought I was . I thought I was helping you out with only comedy . If I didn't say that , do you think you would have gotten it ?
I think I would have gotten there . I knew it was like okay , it's CGI , it's fantasy , and I wasn't sure if DreamWorks was like . I was like they might have meant Pixar Right , like that's often a thing .
It was like I thought about blanking out DreamWorks , but I thought exactly that you don't know if they're right or wrong .
Yeah that , that that was fucking me up . Those were good and you picked very good reviews to get track . Well , not good enough . Sans the four , sans the bonus one , not not good enough , I guess .
All right so far , we are tied , we're tied , All right . So are you ready for your third reviewer , I mean your third movie ? I am ready . Okay , this is a long one , so hold on . This has to be one of , if not the worst movie I've ever seen . Never have I came away from a movie feeling so utterly drained . For one thing , it's way too long Now .
I've sat through long movies before and loved them Avatar , Titanic , etc . But this it literally feels like I was watching someone's life day by day , in real time , From the time blank was a teen to an adult . The characters were also so annoying .
I don't think I've ever seen a movie where just about every character gets on my nerves to the point of it being ridiculous . There were only two characters that I didn't mind . That was , of course , Blank's character . Glad she won an Oscar and Blank's character . Everyone else irked me . This movie also ruined Blank for me .
Now , every time I see him , all I'm going to remember is this movie , but I will say that ending line was oh so satisfying . There are also other things in this movie that annoyed me , that are so stupid I won't even mention . But wow , I honestly didn't think I was going to finish this thing , but by the grace of my heavenly father I did .
If I had to say anything good about this film , it's that I loved some of blank stresses . The Southern bell dresses are very beautiful and the house at blank was nice too . But yeah , this movie was awful to me . You couldn't pay me to sit through it again .
So many takeaways from that , okay . So wait , there was a . There was a . So watching someone from a childhood thing yeah , play there was , uh , two prominent women actors , it sounds like um one of whom got an oscar , and there was just another good one . There was Southern bell dresses , okay , okay .
I'm ready , okay . Review number two watching a spoiled child chase a married man who has a kid for almost four hours was draining , to say the least . I regained hope that she would come to her senses and admit that she loved blank after all , around the three hourhour mark . But that dream was torn apart , spit on and set on fire by minute 205 .
And finally , I might have given it two stars if Blank's last line didn't sound like a 2018 Instagram caption on a heavily filtered selfie . This movie is undoubtedly a one star , and I didn't even talk about how slavery was horribly depicted . In conclusion , I think people should watch for the experience , but I can't say they will enjoy having seen it .
What the fuck ? Okay , okay , go on . You need to process . You want number ?
three . So what I'm getting so far long movie ? Oh , it's a long one . Woman and a child chasing a married man that this person believed they should have ended up with , but those dreams were dashed . There's something they keep putting a lot of weight on the final line of the movie .
Okay , okay , sure do . The last last review for you . Yeah , one of the longest boring movies I have ever seen , and the ending was the worst . The girl couldn't ever make up her mind what she wanted . Played by blank who was bipolar , so it was a good fit that's it another problematic but useful review Okay .
Now .
I will admit that last one requires you to have some actor knowledge . Yeah which is very . I'm not selling you short bud . I know , I know and I have a bonus review , but I've learned a lesson . You're locking in the answer before I give it to you . We'll save that one Okay long movie . I will say eric .
This is a famously long movie famously long movie okay I don't think . No , I'll wait until after you lock it in to give you the runtime okay I gave you a hint at the runtime in the reviews yeah , yeah , you did fuckers long .
Okay , I have a guess , and this is a movie I've never actually seen , but I'm gonna guess eric , I'll come clean with you too .
I have not seen this movie start to finish okay , I believe this is a famously long movie .
Okay , is the movie gone with the wind ? Are you locking that in ?
I'm locking that in At three hours and 58 minutes . Eric , it's gone with the wind , eric , very good , very good .
That was a shot in the fucking dark , because I was like all I had to go on was like Southern Belle dresses , long movie and chasing a man , and I think I remember all three of those being elements of the Civil War . Oh , very much so .
They're very , very strong . The man that was ruined they're talking about Clark Gable . Yeah , the Oscar everyone's happy about was Hattie McDaniel , the first African-American to win an Oscar .
Everyone's happy about was Hattie McDaniel the first African-American to win an Oscar who . If I remember correctly , she wasn't even allowed to attend the premiere , was she ?
Yeah well , the premiere ? I'm not sure about that , but she did famously have to come in to the Oscars , sadly through the service . So fucked up , it's fucked . Yeah that's absolutely fucked . The bonus review I was going to give you is boo Avengers Endgame should have grossed more than this Gross old people film . Oh man , yes , yes .
And in case you would like a little bit of Hollywood , golden Age , hollywood trivia , vivian Leigh , famously bipolar .
Yes , and she did not know that .
She played Scarlett O'Hara . That's a lot of the blanks .
Okay , Main character Now , the last line , of course being I've always relied on no wait , oh my God , I don't you just embarrassed yourself as a theater person . That's Blanche DuBois .
Oh , that is Blanche DuBois , that's streetcar named Desire , who says I've always relied on the kindness of strangers .
Yeah , that is Now what is the famous last line from Gone with the Wind ?
Well , although not technically the last line , I think what they might be referring to is , frankly , my dear , I don't give a damn , Ah . But the actual last line is a few lines later and is after all , tomorrow is another day .
Oh , okay , so that's gone . Okay , okay , now I don't even need to see it .
Well , one might say three hours , and was it 57 minutes , 58 minutes , two minutes shy of four hours . Yes , my God , it's a thick boy . It's a thick book too .
That's a dummy thick movie .
I have the . I picked up a very nice rustic copy of it in a in an old bookshop once , but I have yet to crack it on open , but it is very aesthetically pleasing , ooh , but I have yet to crack it on open , but it is very aesthetically pleasing , ooh , yes , yes . So Eric , you , you , you , by the skin of my teeth , me the handicapped .
Ooh , you have to behave yourself , matthew . You have to give me good reviews . You take the lead at two to one , although I will say yeah .
You gave me one . I gave you one . Unintentionally , with unintentionally , you gave me one . That's why I say by the skin of my teeth . I have a point on you . Oh man , eric , yeah , skin of my fucking teeth .
So next time , oh next time , I'm nervous , I'm nervous , you're , oh , you're gonna hurt me very badly oh , the very badly .
Oh , the next time I go , sorry , the next time you go , yeah , yeah , you're going to come in guns blazing Well that might have to happen .
Yes , but I just meant I'm nervous about you giving me reviews now , because I think you've done me a disservice by building me up as this film expert , which I don't consider myself to be . I'm a film buff for sure .
See , that's exactly the kind of thing an expert would say .
Yeah , I fuck with the Criterion collection , sure , but I am not one of these guys who have seen every goddamn movie under the sun .
But I know about movies Look if Doom , part 2 , has taught me anything , it is that when he denies that he is the Messiah , that is when he makes . It is that when he denies that he is the Messiah , that he's a as it is written .
Oh my God Fucking love Dune . I love Dune . I do think I'm going to start . So , to give you the update , I'm almost done with the the a long Stephen King book I'm reading , and when I'm done with that , I think I'm going to jump back into the Dune scape , which I have been away from for a little bit .
I'm up to God , emperor of dune , which is book four , and I hear this is where we really go off the rails .
Yeah , I , I've heard you know , I , I , I said like dune Messiah is apparently where it peaked , and then and then , and then , and then three and four are like not as good , but then it just goes I like three , three children of dune was , was fun , but the end of it is where I'm like oh , I see where this everyone's saying it gets real fucking nuts and
um .
So we'll see . We'll see how my dune journey .
I know how the story goes . I will not spoil anything for you , but it is real fucking weird . Yeah , I bet I bet .
So anyway , that's a little , that's our dune , cast in the middle of this .
We did play that game , we watched we , we did a marathon yesterday . We watched dune one , then we watched dune two for the first time um and oh , you didn't watch dune two in theaters ?
no , didn't you see it ?
but our our friend , our friend was hanging out with us , our friend bash , who's beloved , and he , he was loving it because he had , like between me , pat and reed , like three goddamn like dune aficionados in the room , so like every time he wanted something . Every time we had a drinking game . Every time you saw the worm drink .
Every time they do the oh , my God , you're going to be sloshed . Oh , oh , yeah , it was , it was great . And then we had , every time we had to explain something to bash it was , and like , not in a , in a , but every time , cause it wasn't like he would , I was like , oh , I don't understand , we would just go .
Oh , you know they don't show this in the movie , but you should know the reason that this is like this is good and he'd be like drink . Oh , yeah , anytime anytime a man dune spleens to you to drink , yes , yes , anytime .
A man d and there was two other people , another couple coming out with us and the guy was just literally mansplaining this movie to his girlfriend and I just like leaned over to Lindsay and I was like would you like me to provide you some of this context ? And she was like no , I got it . I watched the movie , I understand it . Yeah .
I got it .
I don't need this service . Yeah , I do believe I did do just a sprinkling of dunesplaining , but um , yeah , you know , I mean it's dune . Some explanation is necessary some .
Some explanation is necessary . I after reading dude , I I was wick , I was wikipedia , shit , while I was reading the book , you need a , you need a companion guide to read . Dune , if your book didn't come with , like the index of terms at the back , you're fucked .
Yeah , mine doesn't , and so what I have found is it is one of the only books that I have read that I'll read like several pages and then go wait . What the fuck ?
And just back up to the beginning of the chapter . I thought this was something else , for like two chapters now Like what the fuck ? And just back up to the beginning of something else for like two chapters .
Like what the fuck are we talking about now ? What the he's a worm .
Now what the how did he become ?
just the spice , did it ? Okay , great . So , anyway , mild spoiler for book three of Dune . I suppose , eric , should we end the episode ? We should , great . So we do need your questions , folks . Please send them to us at youdidntaskforthis at gmailcom . That's all spelled out .
We'll find us on social the medias , at the social the medias is what I said At youdidntaskpod . That's the letter . Youdidntaskpod , instagram , twitter , facebook . What I said At you didn't ask pod , that's the letter . You didn't ask pod . Instagram , twitter , facebook . What have you ?
We'll see them , We'll jot them down in our spreadsheet and then we'll say them back to you . Eric , anything to add ?
We mentioned the thought line earlier .
We did 410-929-5329 . Leave us a voicemail . You don't have to talk to us , you'll just hear me do some babble . I don't even remember what I said .
Yeah , and and and reminder . Yeah , you will not have to talk to a human being . You can , just no we wouldn't do that to you , and you can talk about anything you want . Tell us about your day .
Tell us give about .
We've done very well with like societal norm questions . Give us some of those , some social etiquettes , yes , um , for your glitches in the matrix . No , well , tell us . We just did that , I know .
But , like , tell us if you've seen weird shit , if you've met alien encounters , if you just like have encountered something really fucking cool that you want to talk about but you don't know where it's appropriate to do so call us if you , If you've got a local legend which doesn't need to be a cryptid necessarily , or something like that .
Just be , a legendary bartender . You know somebody that the world should know about .
We'll give them a platform , and by give them a platform I mean talk about them and then maybe , if they're cool enough , we will have them as a guest on the show , which is the case with previous guest of the show , lewis Millard , who , based in Canada , I assume will help me out with the goose problem .
And who's just like also become our friend , and it's really nice .
Lewis , shout out to you , lewis , I miss you . Buddy , cool guy .
We need to get Lewis back . We need to check in with lewis .
We need to have a check-in with lewis I miss him dearly and we are in the run-up to episode 100 , so we'd love to sprinkle in some segments we haven't done in a while , such as neighborhood watch , where we read your neighborhood group drama doesn't even have to be yours , it can be somebody else's . We'll take out names .
We'll take out street names , neighborhood neighborhood names . We'll make it anonymous . We just want the tea .
Yeah , God put the kettle on .
Put the kettle on and let us pull up a chair .
Mm-hmm .
All right , and then yeah . So basically what we're saying is give us some content , please .
Yes , please God , because if you don't , then we need to do it . And who ?
has the time .
Who has the time ?
And with that , eric , I think I speak for all of us when I say that'll about do it . That'll about do it For this episode of you Didn't Ask For this for all of us here . My name is Matthew Shea .
My name is Eric .
Poach and listen . You didn't ask .
But , ladies , ladies , if you ever got someone doonsplaining to you , here's a fun deterrent we came up with , or just a fun way to irritate them . A listen to them rant , but then , at just regular intervals throughout the entire movie , just turn to them and ask so , they want the spice ? Just say that like 10 to wait . So do they want the spice , though ?
Yeah , no , they they . They want the spice . Yeah , that's a good way to , that's a just just keep every time angry anger a dunesplainer and when they go to begin to explain something , wait like for whoa , pump the brakes .
But so they want the spice yeah , and you know , eric , um , not to dunesplain too much to you , a fellow dunesplainer , but I I just want you to know that , um , and our listeners to know , that one of the best ways to defeat a worm that they actually cut from Dune II , as I'm sure you know , is to expose the worms to Daddy Longlegs .
Daddy Longlegs , daddy Longlegs are going to come out and get that worm , as it was written , you see .
Oh , paul Atreides , with his terrible papers , called me Daddy Long Legs .
Long Daddy and that young boy deep down there . Oh why ? Hello there , my good prophet .
Long Daddy , long Daddy , long Daddy , long daddy , long Daddy , long Daddy .