I don’t know what I’ve been told, they say they’re in high school but they’re really old. What happens in private, stays Private as Johnny Depp gets involved in a cat-and-mouse game with his partner… On this episode of Primetime Crimetime, Zoë and Richard investigate the antics of those fun-loving undercover cops at 21 Jump Street. Depp has the trial of a lifetime as he and his partner must bring in an AWOL soldier. UPCOMING EPISODES: The Rookies , S2 E23 “Death Watch.” BL Stryker , S1 E5, “Blue...
Jan 17, 2023•1 hr 30 min
Someone once said, “The coldest winter I ever spent, was the summer I spent watching The Streets of San Francisco .” And so we spent a cold, cold summer watching elderly shut-ins with PTSD, angry mobs, and TW: dead children. Zoë and Richard head to the Barbary Coast to ride along with Karl Malden and Michael Douglas as they root for the Giants, eat hofbrau in North Beach, and put the screws to a young Clint Howard. UPCOMING EPISODES: 21 Jump Street , S3 E13, “AWOL” The Rookies , S2 E23 “Death Wa...
Sep 25, 2022•1 hr 25 min
You can cut the will-they-won't-they [understand the plot] tension with a knife as Zoë and Richard go Moonlighting ! In this episode, they take on the high-pressure world of L.A. detective services — which naturally includes gritty corporate buyouts, betrayals, the shocking, seedy Rolodex black market and COUSIN LARRY APPLETON. Bruce Willis launches charm and somehow lands at offensive, and Cybil Shepherd tries even harder to be seen through soft focus lighting that would make cataracts envious....
May 11, 2022•1 hr 23 min
There’s a saying that goes: if everywhere you travel someone is murdered, maybe you should stay home. Zoë, Richard, and special guest Stephanie investigate the second half of the epic spectacular television experiment that is the Magnum P.I. / Murder She Wrote crossover mystery, where the mystery is the plot itself! Take off your cardigan and put on your seersucker, we're trading Cabot Cove for Waikiki and Magnum is pretending to read a book in jail for most of it. And if book learning and data ...
Mar 16, 2022•1 hr 42 min
It's moustache versus menopause as Magnum P.I. meets Jessica Fletcher for a good old-fashioned mystery — and it's a good thing they've got two detectives on the case because the biggest mystery is figuring out what is actually happening in the show. 🌴📚 Something about embezzlement, a hitman, a book club's worth of authors, and then Magnum straight up kills someone a garden party and seems pretty okay with it? Listen as Zoë and Richard try to solve the mystery of the crossover that crosses over...
Jan 15, 2022•1 hr 25 min
It doesn’t get anymore 70s than a “swingers' resort” and a clean-shaven Burt Reynolds. Burt charms as Dan August, a detective who is on the trail of of a murderer while applying his counseling skills to save a marriage. It's a wild time where work meetings didn't guarantee everyone was wearing a shirt, but pool parties definitely called for a sport coat. Get your sedatives on speed dial, and settle in for this episode that co-stars Three's Company's Normal Fell, who is surprisingly NOT the titul...
Oct 31, 2021•1 hr 22 min
Get ready gang, we're going deep undercover — there's a high school with a drug problem, and we need to send the police force back to school. 🧪☠️💊 Before Jump Street, Police Woman embedded narcs in the P.E. Department for some lunge and thrusts while tracking down a drug ring that goes ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP. Come for the progressive exploitation, stay for William Shatner as a Chemistry teacher, this episode we're deep-knee bending right into "Smack." 🚨🚨 Need more Shatner? Wanna see Cannon i...
Sep 04, 2021•1 hr 23 min
Look out LA, have we got a bargain for you! For just $200 a day plus expenses, you can hire a successful detective you can trust, who stands up for the underdog. That is if your definition of "successful” means living in an illegal mobile home in a parking lot without any water or electricity hook-ups, and "trust" means he will hide information from you as he sees fit. Oh, and in case we forgot to leave it on the answering machine, the “underdog” is kind of a man whose wife… ooh, it gets dark, f...
Aug 02, 2021•1 hr 26 min
Howdy! You from around these parts? Join Zoë and Richard as they travel to the wondrous land of the "Morning in America" 80s when businesswomen could only be taken seriously if they had a man as their CEO and banks were besieged by irresponsible independent farmers and their antiquated notion that people need to eat. Welcome to Remington Steele Country as Pierce Brosnan and the woman who owns the company but can't admit it, travel to Iowa to find stolen robo-pigs, while Doris Roberts BOLOs the l...
Jun 14, 2021•1 hr 25 min
Back for an aftershock, Richard and Zoë head into the post-skeleton-discovery half of McMillan and some lady, as the 70s parade marches through including Dabney Coleman! Richard Dawson! Robert Loggia! And leading the pack is the Bounty-ous Nancy Walker. Pour your 11 a.m. cocktail as Rock Hudson and the lady he married juggle insurance men and emeralds in the exciting conclusion of “McMillan and Wife.” UPCOMING EPISODES: Remington Steele , S4 E6 “Corn Fed Steele” Police Woman , S1 E11, “Smack” Da...
May 01, 2021•1 hr
Did you know that every time the fog horn blows, someone in San Francisco is having a two-martini lunch? We swing into the 70s this episode as Zoë and Richard examine McMillan & Wife, a show so progressive they didn’t even bother giving Wife a name. This two-parter reveals the reason why houses in SF are so expensive: they come with corpses hidden in the walls. The riveting “will they/won’t they sell their home” tension spirals to fever pitch as caterers roofie Nancy Walker and Richard Dawso...
Apr 28, 2021•57 min
What happens when Family Affair meets Breaking Bad ? A lot of very weird stuff. This week Zoë and Richard head into the Pacific Northwest wilderness with special guest, Greg Nibler, from Funemployment Radio and Two Box Media ! Come along as they try to carve out a sensible narrative from the forest of absurd dialogue, take a deflating raft down a rapid river of odd character development, and steal ideas from the Deliverance campsite just down the road. Put on your best hiking boots and get yer p...
Mar 24, 2021•1 hr 17 min
Our first “period” detective series takes Zoë and Richard to the 1940s with Ellery Queen as he solves an old-fashioned whodunnit with an Alice in Wonderland theme. 🐰🔎 This episode is complete with literary Easter eggs that they would have had to use a paper encyclopedia to look up, and a 1970s take on 1940's idea of race and gender so you know you’re in for a wild, problematic ride. ALSO! Zoë uncovers a very creepy Sixth-Sense subplot that scared the heebie-jeebies out of us... MAR 11: Hardcas...
Mar 01, 2021•1 hr 15 min
This episode of Primetime Crimetime is a hard-hitting examination of game-show fixing as Cagney and Lacey team up with Cobra Kai and that one guy from Welcome Back Kotter who wasn't either Horshack or Barbarino. They also dress up for reasons that are never explained as pieces of fruit and wind up solving a crime where no one is arrested or, come to think of it, even clear on what actual crime was committed! Except for excessive use of unidentifiable New York accents. 🗽🌭🚕 There's a strong pen...
Feb 02, 2021•1 hr 14 min
Don't worry if your next pull comes up 🍋🍒🛎 , we've got the bonkers, bizarre, winner of a conclusion to A Million the Hard Way. Is the greatest heist the one in this episode — or the true life one that (absolutely, totally) inspired it? 💰💰💰 JAN 19: Hardcastle and McCormick , S3 E1, “She Ain’t Deep But She Sure Runs Fast” FEB. 2: Cagney and Lacey , S7 E7 “Greed” FEB 23: Ellery Queen , S1 E8, “The Adventure of the Mad Tea Party” MAR 9: Mannix , S2 E19, “End Game” MAR 23: McMillan and Wife , S...
Jan 08, 2021•37 min
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas! 🎰 Including the answer to one of the modern world's most inscrutable real-life mysteries- WE'LL GET THERE. On this episode of Primetime Crimetime, Zoe and Richard roll the dice on the exciting world of insurance investigation with Banacek, the turtleneckiest, bowl-cut Polish Bostonian who must solve the mystery of a missing one million dollars from a casino, while fending off every single woman who wants to get Bana-sexed. It's a plot jackpot so big, it's c...
Jan 07, 2021•52 min
This episode of Primetime Crimetime Zoë and Richard go undercover with the red-hot sexy world of Polish anti-communist political intrigue with Charlie’s Angels. Don’t miss this wildly erotic episode as Kate Jackson hits on a sixty-year-old man, Jaclyn Smith sensually gives endless exposition, and Farrah ... is, well, just Farrah. It’s a non-stop sex symbol sort of spy-centric story not to be missed! DEC 22: Banacek , S1 E4, "A Million the Hard Way" DEC 29: Cagney and Lacey , S7 E7 “Greed” JAN 12...
Dec 14, 2020•1 hr 12 min
Two men wearing leather and nurturing each other through emotional turmoil and self-reflection? That’s right, it’s Starsky and Hutch. Watch the screen light up with some man-on-man support and tenderness as Hutch dates the ex-girlfriend of an obsessed mob boss stalker and gets hooked on horse. Grab yourself a come-down candy bar, and find out who in this ep has the the most math-based acting resumé, HERETOFORE. DEC 1: Charlie's Angles , S1 E15 "Angels on a String" DEC 15: Banacek , S1 E4, "A Mil...
Nov 18, 2020•1 hr 15 min
L.A. 15, 7-Mary BOO! 👻🏍 So, “CHiPS.” When you put the title of a show in quotes it’s hard to tell if it’s all just one ironic joke? Primetime Crimetime releases their first Halloween special as they ride into Season 2; Episode 6, “Trick or Trick." Jon and Ponch have a busy night of performing “police work” as Ponch ponders the possibility of unseen supernatural forces that potentially guide our existence while Jon’s “personality” sort of disappears by standing too close to dry wall. Oh, they a...
Oct 31, 2020•1 hr 1 min
What happens when a Texas millionaire moves to LA to solve crime? Oh, you want answers to questions? Well, be prepared to be disappointed as you are plunged into a world where rational decisions and logical thought are foreign concepts. We delve into an episode where a tiger is trained to kill Werner Klemperer and the suspects are Barbie Benton, a trained karate killer Sonny Bono, and Zsa Zsa Gabor and that’s probably the second weirdest thing in Season 1, Episode 13, “The Purrfect Crime.” Yeah....
Oct 15, 2020•1 hr 15 min
🔥 This week’s episode was recorded with Richard in the middle of the California wildfires that turned the sky of San Francisco red, only to be topped by a heatwave. If he sounds like he’s in a 100 degree closet with a bowl of ice water soaking a towel to put on his head… he was. Just pretend the tinkling ice and mildly muffled sound was for less apocalyptic reasons, baby! 🔥 Hang out with us as Zoë and Richard recap Kojak season 2, episode 12, “ The Best War In Town” with actor and screenwriter...
Sep 29, 2020•1 hr 2 min
Just your typical end of the Cold War-era spy shenanigans when a United States spy agency (that shall remain nameless) enlists the aid of a middle-aged divorced mother to prevent the scourge of communism from spreading. This week Zoë, Richard, and special guest Danny, watch in confusion as Scarecrow and Mrs. King embark on a wedding cruise to find a missing friend and thwart illegal funding for a revolution. Listen as we say “I do! … not understand some of the decisions made by the creative team...
Sep 10, 2020•1 hr 7 min
Primetime Crimetime reviews the first ALL CAPS crime show! It’s a no-holds-barred emotional rollercoaster of fun as we enter the screamatorium of Quincy, M.E. Employee in the medical examiner’s office who makes a small mistake? You just ordered a single scoop of I scream (at you). District Attorney just trying to do their job? Sorry, pal, you just purchased a one-way ticket to Hollerville. Civil servant just following procedure? Not on Quincy’s watch! This week we dissect his addiction to rage, ...
Aug 26, 2020•1 hr 8 min
It’s a cavalcade of errors this week, y’all. Zoë moved spontaneously, and the Quincy episode audio we recorded…sounds like it was recorded on a Hi-Fi turntable on a houseboat, and we want better for you. So please accept this mini-ep as a down payment. Also! We take the Express Train through Castigation Station on a Simon & Simon detail we missed because they hid it on an obscure resource called Wikipedia? You’re the best, we’re the worst, and we appreciate the extra time. We’ll see you back...
Aug 18, 2020•9 min
Saddle up! This week Zoë and Richard lasso the very first episode of a show that’s titled with the same name twice and yet is so confusing it’s almost hard to follow it long enough count how many ways it’s offensive. So what does happen when you take two brothers with a traumatized childhood, add in some boundary issues, and give them licenses as private detectives? That’s not a riddle, that’s something they put on television, and we do a play-by-play description of their bizarre relationship to...
Aug 05, 2020•1 hr 10 min
Grab a sandwich and join us for our entrée into Cannon with the bananas, “Memo From a Dead Man.” This week Zoë and Richard feast on this juicy, juicy ep, where Cannon is paid by a dead man to investigate his own death and that’s the least weird part of this 5-course episode. Listen in as we cover all of the suppressed women’s sexuality, sandwich seduction, and quite possibly the inspiration for Brokeback Mountain , all while Cannon is horrifyingly fat-shamed by every single character he speaks t...
Jul 21, 2020•1 hr 11 min
We're back with all of the shoe-leathery detective bits from the second half of the iconic episode, "Swan Song." Come with us to the Crusade for Lost Souls, learn how to pack a parachute, and do some square yardage conversions! And YOU GUYS. There's an unintentional mystery for you to solve in this episode. Zoë blew it. There was a piece of research, of crucial trivia, A CLUE right here in "Swan Song" that she just left on the airport-metal-detector tray like so many rental car keys. What gorgeo...
Jul 07, 2020•34 min
There is no, “One more thing,” there is only THE THING, and that’s that Columbo is a precious treasure and gem of our time. Grab your thermoses and undersized parachutes boys, this one is D.B. Cooper fan fiction with Johnny Cash starring basically as himself. This week Zoë and Richard shine a light on one of their favorite episodes starring Johnny Cash as a gospel singer who uses an entire plane to kill two people. We discuss the hard-hitting issues of this investigation including statutory rape...
Jul 02, 2020•58 min
Did you know “Mahalo,” means “Christopher Walken makes playing a sailor look just as deliciously bonkers as you’d think!”? This episode, we head to the islands, and find out which one of us conflated “Hawaii Five-O” and “Magnum P.I.” until 51 minutes ago. One of the longest-running procedural crime dramas is being served at this luau with heapings of local characters and iconic, sweeping hair. This episode is one of the weirdest as it takes on issues of race, naval justice, and Christopher Walke...
Jun 23, 2020•1 hr 12 min
It’s the first episode of the husband and wife derring-do caper soap, “ Hart to Hart !” Did you know your whole murder plot can unravel just because you used the word, “‘Frisco?” From the mutated DNA strain of Nick and Nora Charles, comes the hyper-sexualized, feather-haired, crime-fighting couple, Jonathan and Jennifer Hart. Listen in as we break down everything in this murder-for-hire-out-of-a-pet-store episode as Jennifer Hart is the target of a hit because Jonathan is about to uncover a huge...
Jun 16, 2020•1 hr 28 min
