Episode #194 - Cambodia

Welcome to the Mastering Midlife Podcast, where we talk about all the crazy fun things that happen when you are a midlife mama. I'm your host, Heather London. Let's dig in. Hey, friends. So as soon as I got off the plane, after landing in Cambodia, I felt the heat right away. I could see the sunshine, although it was pretty much the sunset time.

Like this whole time I've been looking for sunshine and warmth and this is the first time that I've gotten it Vietnam was very very dirty like smoggy and there was it was overcast the whole time it was just like this haze that hung that just hung over all of Vietnam even northern Vietnam but as soon as I arrived in Cambodia I could see clear skies and it was nice and warm

And so it was a really good welcome. And I got to tell you, like the people of Cambodia are amazing. So kind, so welcoming. I felt like in Vietnam, the people who are in tourism, the people at the hotels or that did the loop with me, like all those people, amazing, like just so wonderful. But the general population are so busy, like working hard and head down, you know, that they weren't like outwardly the friendliest people. You have to engage them.

Anytime you do, again, it's hard because there's a language barrier, but it wasn't like warm, fuzzy feelings from like when you're walking. through the streets. I feel, really feel it's like because everybody's working so hard. Like the Vietnamese are such hard workers and they're just like, they're just trying to, you know, feed themselves and make a sale and get through the day.

And when I came to Cambodia, I found the people were just so welcoming. The people in the hotel were... over the top the kindest every time you come in they say hello to you how are you how's your day like over the top kind but when you talk to people on the street too they're also kind like that

Just a lovely, lovely, welcoming community. That's for sure. And then I got a Uber. It's really cool because. the driver was telling me about the history of there's a new airport in cambodia that's where we arrived at it's small it's a small airport And a brand new road. I'm like, wow, this is amazing. Like full on paved, no potholes, just brand spanking new. And the driver.

Let me in on a little secret that it was actually China that paid for and built the new airport and the road to the main road. The old airport used to be like 15 minutes from town. And then China built this brand new airport, which is an hour from town. And it's a toll airport. So it's going to take the people of Cambodia like 50 years to pay it off. I'm like, damn, I had no clue. Like I had no clue how involved China is in.

a lot of the goings on actually one of my other guy so so i got this car to come into my hotel and he's like oh my brother uh you know drives a tuck tuck and he can take you to anchor what that's where i was going to go see that next day and i'm like yeah let's do it and so i used his brother to take me to anchorwatt but it was funny because um i just paid him twenty dollars to drive me around for the day now

You go to Angkor Wat and you get a day pass, like a 24-hour pass, and you can see all the temples. And there's a ton of temples. So I didn't really understand how this worked because I'm new. With the $20, he drove me around and he would take me to the temple and go, okay, go inside and check it out. And of course, Anker Watt is the big, huge one. And what I didn't realize is...

because he's like, oh, it's going to be busy this way, I'll go this way, is that he dropped me off at the back of Angkor Wat. And so I went in and I'm like, oh, damn, everybody has like a guide here telling them all about what's going on.

How did they get this guide? How come I don't have a guide? I didn't know I went in the back. And it wasn't until at the very end of my tour when we were leaving that I saw the front. And the front is the best part. The front of Angkor Wat. And I'm like, holy cow.

I missed out on all of this. And that's where at the very front, that's where there's guides and you can just hire them to show you the thing, which I totally would have done a hundred percent. I would have done that. So instead I was just, touring myself and listening to the other tour guides and but I was like damn I really missed out on that one but that's how you learn right like you don't know the taxi driver was like hey my brother can take you around for 20 bucks I'm like

okay great and he was amazing he was really fun and kind and he had it was so funny like anchor what you spend like two hours there And then you go to all the other temples and, and he had like a cold cloth for me and a mango cut up. Like he was so kind, but I definitely would have done a tour. I would have paid for.

it was $20 to go somebody take me there and tell me what's going on and tell me about Angkor Wat I would have done that for sure so but that's the thing about these travels is you never know like the guys like

in the car telling me hey my brother will do this and i'm like sounds good what do i know anyway lesson learned but you still get to see and understand like the majestic awesome beauty energy of Angkor Wat like just wow and I'm not a tour I'm not a sightseeing kind of person

i don't like to go to like your typical things although the last couple weeks in order to get to thailand that's what i'm doing is i'm doing tours because i'm only there for a couple days and i want to get the most out of my couple of days and so Sometimes when you've been traveling, you're like, you've seen one temple, you've seen them all, but this is next level. And it was just so beautiful and so amazing, and the history and the stories.

And there's just one spot in the very center of Angkor Wat and you can see like the four directions has a meaning and you can see like the library and the Buddha and all the things and monks go there to this day.

they meditate for 24 hours without sleeping and it's the center rock and it's perfectly I can't remember how they were describing because I was listening, listening to somebody else's tour, but it's just like fully energized by these monks that come and, and pray and meditate for 24 hours. And that's where you get your superpowers from. So, you know, I stood there for sure and soaked up some of that superpower. But I never would have known that if I wasn't listening to somebody else's tour.

After Angkor Wat, we went to another one and another one. These are smaller temples where you just go in or walk through. And then my guide, David, he's like, oh, and let's go do the sunset and do this. And I'm like... dude, I am exhausted. Like the heat, it wasn't sunny, but it was overcast. And I was like having a heat stroke. I'm like, I'm done. Like I can't see any more temples. And he laughed and he's like, okay. And gives me another cold towel.

cut up pineapple for me like just the sweetest man and it's true like one i met a I met another tourist and he said, oh my gosh, the Cambodians really like will tell you their whole life story. And they do. They share everything. And David was.

more than willing to share about what's going on and with the war. And just today... at breakfast at my hotel like the girls are so wonderful they're so welcoming and kind and she this one girl asked me where are you going next and I said Thailand and I didn't even think like didn't even think that

I probably shouldn't have said that, first of all, or what that would mean to her. Because when I initially was planning this trip, I had planned to go, you know, Vietnam, Cambodia, and then I was going to go Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand.

but I need to just go to Thailand because I've done sightseeing and traveling and that for a little bit. But there was the war that broke out. And so I'm like, oh, I'm definitely not going to Cambodia or Thailand because... there's a war going on and then there was a truce and so i booked it when there was a truce and then a couple days before i was coming to cambodia again there was more attacks and so the war was active again

And I thought long and hard. I talked to my kids, did a lot of research. I'm like, I don't know if it's worth it. And then when I was in Vietnam doing my... uh boat crews and all that i've talked to people who just were in cambodia so they recently like yeah the day before we're in cambodia like it's totally safe you're in the main city don't worry about it you can go there

And so I kept my plans because I had already booked everything and decided to come here. I'm so glad I did because it's so beautiful here and the people are just so amazing and it's dirt cheap.

like you're eating for $2, you're buying clothes for $1, like just crazy cheap. But what I didn't realize, like when I was talking to the girl at the hotel, when she asked me where i was going and i said thailand and her face just kind of dropped and she was telling she was telling me about the war again that it really feels like and you never really know

that Thailand is the aggressor and Cambodia just wants to be left alone like is the peaceful nation that's being attacked and again my driver explained that you know Cambodia was here and then And then Vietnam was created. And then Thailand was created. And all of those people have taken land from Cambodia. And this is where the big pushback is.

Cambodia was here originally and people just keep taking more and more land and they're just trying to defend themselves. Actually, David, the tuk-tuk driver was like, hey, as long as the U.S. is in power, we're safe. But if China ever becomes the number one nation in the world, then we're in trouble. They will overtake us in a heartbeat. So they're feeling good about the states still being strong, but scared about...

what would happen if China ever became that company. So I listened to the girl at the hotel, the sweetest girl, and she just kept saying, like, I don't know why they're attacking us. Like, it doesn't make sense that they're... There's no reason for this war. And it's border, right? And my heart just broke. And basically what she's saying is, you know, like, don't go there. They're attacking us and they're...

And they're bad. It's not good. Because Cambodia, the people are very, very peaceful. They're very, very peaceful. But I feel like with any kind of war, it's never the people.

feel confident that when i go to thailand and i ask people about it the people of thailand are not going to say yeah we want to create a war with cambodia no it's always the government always always always and it's the people that take the hit it's the people that get hurt it's the people that suffer the consequences and so my heart broke for this girl because she's very distraught about this war that's going on and the people that are dying and oh

just hurt my heart and so and so i from that i took that i want to be more aware i want to learn more about both sides of the story because i don't want to just go somewhere because it's somewhere that I want to go and I'm on vacation. Like, can you imagine that your country is at war and, you know, people are vacationing there and it's not even a thing like that's just that doesn't make sense to me. But I'm trying not to feel guilty because.

this trip i've learned a lot about myself and i don't want to feel guilty about going to thailand but i want to learn so i want to make the most of it for sure so that was a huge thing that happened this morning and i really appreciate her sharing with me and hope that this war ends very quickly because no war is a good war ever. And it's not the people that are doing the war. It's always the government and it's always about power and money.

having said that let's get back to my fun experience because um yeah anchor what i was like i experienced it in a whole different way than i thought i would so i would do it differently next time but i got to experience the magic of it and then of course Of course, I got to go do Hangout with the Elephants yesterday, which was like, I could just, I'm so happy right now, like bucket list item, just.

My heart is full. It just, the energy of being there with them, I can't even explain. Even the videos, like when you look at the videos, you know, you can see like how excited and happy I am, but just being there and doing that. And again, these people are like, it's a sanctuary. They're taking care of these elephants. And all these elephants do is eat every single day. So this is when I was talking about guilt. It's like...

I feel like I have so much. I just want to give everybody all my money. And that's the part about traveling like this is when you see people with nothing, you're like, yeah, take $1, take $2, take $5, take $10. And I could just give it all away because... It means so much to them. Like, for example, when I was at Angkor Wat, I bought a flute.

the sound was amazing i thought maybe i could use that for meditation but there was this guy who was like super kind like a young guy and he was like hey do you want to buy and he was relentless right and i'm like i don't want a flute but He was just relentless, but in a nice way. And he's like, $2. And then he's like, $1, $1. And on the way out, I bought it for $2. Like, why wouldn't I pay an extra dollar?

Because that $1 makes such a big difference to him. And David, my daughter, was like, yeah, this kid is in school. And so in the morning, he goes to school. And then after school, he comes here to try to make somebody to feed himself and his family. So why wouldn't I?

pay that extra dollar right i bought shorts like cambodia shorts you're looking at these shorts they're they're gorgeous they're just like i have to have a pair you have you have pants and you have like shorts if you're on youtube i'll show you these if you're watching on youtube oh my gosh like the elephant so these are shorts and they're just gorgeous and they're meant for this kind of weather

And I walked up and down the street. I have to walk up and down, like, the main sales street to get to my hotel. So I've done it 100 times. And I know how much the shorts are. And, you know, I could probably get them for a dollar. But the woman... um said they're three dollars and i'm like you know what awesome three dollars like this makes such a big difference in their lives that i wouldn't i don't even want to bargain with them because it doesn't seem

right to to bargain with another human being when you're talking about them feeding themselves or me keeping a dollar in my pocket like just that's why it's hard for me here because i just i'm like everybody just take all my money and then if I don't tip enough I feel guilty like that's what I'm working on it's like Heather just go with what you feel and

let it go because i feel like i should help these people more and that's tough that is tough to be like just passing through on vacation and then moving on you know like it never even happened and so even tipping at the elephant place like the woman was so fabulous and they do such good work there and I tip and I'm like I should give more like why don't I give more and and I'm trying not to beat myself up for that I'm trying to just sit with that and find

Find what works for me. And there's people that just stay in my memory. People like, these people are so hardworking. They're doing such good stuff. How can I help them more? What more could I do? And maybe sometimes those are. Other things like making videos and raising awareness. I think that that's important too, right? So that their business can be, can succeed because I would much rather do something to help their business succeed than giving money because then.

then that's a short-term solution right although I do want to give all the money it's like so hard but if I can if I can wrap my business brain around something that they can do to increase their business oh my gosh that's worth that's like tenfold they're going to get the return on that so when i come across people like that i really try to get thinking about

you know what they can do to improve their business so and that but it's a guilt thing it's like oh how can i just help everyone how can i take everybody with me you know and then like The people here, I know I keep going, but the people here have been amazing. Amazing. And I'm always learning and growing as I go.

And when I'm kind to myself, like I could beat myself up and go, oh, why didn't you know that? Why didn't you get that? For example, for example, it's like last night I was walking around. I'm like, oh, I'm going to go out for a drink. I don't drink, but I'm like.

It's my last night here. I want to go sit somewhere in a bar and then strike up conversations, right? Actually, on the way to the elephant place, I met an English couple and they were so lovely. Like we had such a good connection and great conversation. they told me about a restaurant to go to and I went there it was amazing and then so like I'm looking for a bar and I'm like bars near me and there was a gay bar I'm like I'm gonna go to a gay bar because I feel like

We can have some good conversations. There'll be lots of people to talk to there and, you know, something different. And I went there and nobody was there. And I'm like, oh, I can't even like find a bar full of people because it was too early.

tired but you know by the time everybody comes out at 10 o'clock I'm in bed I'm tired so the gay bar didn't work out and so I went to a sports bar because you know if you go to a sports bar you're gonna get people watching the soccer game and who comes out all the English it was like

different groups going hey are you playing my game my team's playing what what tv is it going to be on so there's always people to talk to at the sports bar because the english always want to watch their football and so i was chatting up the bartender and and they had like limping because they'd gotten into a scooter accident and road rash it was like oh my gosh so bad but nonetheless I get a local a local beer and I try to like open it like it was like a can

So like a normal can, I'm like, oh, the pin came off. I'm like, I can't open this. So they gave me another one. And the same thing started to happen. I'm like, this isn't working. And I was like, can you show me how to open this? And instead of like a push. where the thing goes in like that it was a pull tab you pull it and it peels off and i'm like damn how did i not know that like those are the things that you learn as as you go

And instead of beating yourself up, you're like, hmm, makes sense. Now I know. Same as when I was in Japan and I'm like, I can't get out of the subway. Why can't I get out of the subway? And then you learn and then you know. And I feel like that's what this trip is all about, right? Just like experimenting with life and yourself and being kind to yourself and having a fun adventure and not judging and really just being in the moment of everything.

Oh, and also it was so cool. Last night I was coming home and I had a little bottle cap when I was at the train. train street that the gentleman put on the train track and it flattened it for me so i keep that as my reminder of like how lucky i am and all these great experiences

And I was walking to my room last night and it popped out of my bag and I heard it hit the ground. Of course, it's dark and I couldn't find it. And I had my little flashlight. I couldn't find it. It was in like the grass. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm going to remember. I'm going to look around right across from 22. Okay, tomorrow I'm going to come.

when it's light out and i'm going to find this and i was walking and i remembered oh the bottle cap i don't know how i remembered it because my memory is not good and i went to have unit number 22 and looked you know like in the grass where it had gone and there was this teeny tiny little frog sitting there on the sidewalk and at first i thought it was just like a leaf but when i look closer i'm like it's a little baby frog like teeny tiny little frog

And then as I was looking at it, I'm like, I looked into the grass and what did I see? I saw my bottle cap. So I'm like, oh, look at it. Like, this is the universe showing me where my bottle cap was. My lucky bottle cap because of this little frog was guiding the way. Oh my gosh. So Cambodia, if you're thinking about coming to Cambodia, yes, please do that. And hope for an end to this war. I feel like there is an end coming, like an end to the war.

The people are welcoming. The people are amazing. The community, the whatever, all the things that Cambodia has to offer are just amazing. I will say that... In Siem Reap, like it's the main city, there are a lot of tourist stuff. Like it does feel kind of Mexico-y in a way, like with all the huge bars and the music blaring and all that.

You can always find what you're looking for in a big city like this. So whether it's a nice little restaurant or a cool adventure with elephants, I think that Cambodia has you covered. And I'm so glad that I ended up coming here. So I just wanted to share my little adventure with you before I forget, because there's just so many things that happen. Like there's a thousand other things that happen. Oh, my strep throat went away. That was good.

Unfortunately, I had to get the antibiotics because when you have strep throat, bacterial infection, you can't get rid of it without it. I tried for so many days and it just got worse and worse and worse, but boom.

feeling better now so i'm ready to travel go to my next destination i'm taking you with me i'm super excited for this but wrapping up the whole cambodia three days amazing i'm so glad that i did this and sending like uh peace peace kindness healing for the for the cambodia thailand conflict that's going on all right Thank you for listening my friends. Always, always, always love yourself first and have an amazing day.