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Okay, head over to the YouTube channel where you can watch or listen to the podcast. Okay, you can watch or listen to old episodes. All you have to do is go to the search bar, write micro through that podcast and click on Exactly Amada as soon as it shows up. Yai Wendy Fuda de doo heppisodios basalos xcit that I'm today. I want to talk about something that's been touching my heart, my soul, and I'm feeling some
type of way about it. Talking about how the world sees, you know, women in comparison to how the world sees men when it comes to the workplace. Now that I am a mother of two, I am a single mom, means, like you know, I obviously don't have anybody else to
help me in the process of this. There's so many challenges that come with making time, finding balance with your body, with yourself, with your health, with your fitness, with your mental with your dating life, with your friends, with your family.
It is so much to balance and just take care of that. I'm just like, how are you supposed to do it?
Because I feel like society can be so judgmental to women. People are judgmental when it comes to being a single mom. Oh you know, why couldn't you keep a man? Why didn't you get married first? Why didn't you da da da da. First of all, I want to clarify that because I've heard a lot of that before. Just because you're married doesn't mean that you're in a happy relationship.
Okay.
In many occasions, there's a lot of married women and men that are just there for society to look good for society, for their family standards, or for whatever extra word reason. For lac costumbre, I'm accustomed to this person. I might as well stay here because I don't want to start all over again. I've already invested too many years. I don't want to go back into the dating scenes.
In many occasions, there's a lot of insecurities. But just because you're married, it doesn't mean that it's a happy household.
I know a lot of married women that are still single parents.
Take that back, I know a lot of married women who are still single parents. So don't let the whole marriage thing confuse you. In many occasions, Oh why couldn't you keep it together? Why don't you make it work? You know what, sometimes things just don't work out. There's no guidebook like I always say, on how to live your life. And just because you know someone now doesn't mean that you know this person ten years from now, even if you're living together, because people change.
They evolve, they grow.
You know. Today we're diving into the topic that affects calenless women across the world, the challenges phased by single women in the workforce, while also explore oring the double standards that exist when it comes to working parents, specifically focusing on why working moms often faced backlash compared to those that are you know, males. I know there's a lot of single fathers out there that work really hard.
To shout out to all of you men out there, you know, putting in the work, doing what you got to do, taking care of your family, taking care of your kids, memos highert respect to you. Unfortunately or fortunately, I'm not sure how to put it, but there's less of y'all than there is of us, because you've got
to give credit when credit is due. There's a lot of amazing fathers, men out there that have taken the responsibility of protecting and taking care of their children and their households while the mothers are out and about living their best lives or maybe for whatever other situations. Beto, Unfortunately, there's more single mothers in this world than there is men.
And I think it's very unfair that men just get to pick up, you know, their luggages or things walk away, while the mother has all the responsibility of keeping these children alive. I've given them well education, making sure that they're well protected, and taking care of while still working, while still not losing their feminine side, you know, taking care of them as women. There's a lot to it, you know, So let's dive into the life of a
single woman navigating it, you know, into her career. Now, I see myself having to think about where are my kids gonna be while I'm working?
Is my mom okay? Because my mom has a lot of health.
Issues, and I'd be worried about leaving them with my mom all the time because I've had to call nine one one in like six occasions in one week at one point because of her health.
You know, she hasn't been doing good just handling of like who's going to take care of them?
Even having to take care of paying a babysitter before you go out to work, not even to party, but to work. The responsibility, the extra financial responsibility, it's a lot. I recently went to pre school. It's like a not a daycare center, but an academy rather better starts to educate the babies before they actually get into preschool and all those things, because there's a lot of children that are super advanced.
So I was like, all right, cool boom, let me try to get my girls into one of these.
That's an extra twenty five hundred dollars I have to pay a month, and financially, thank god, I can afford it. It just you know, puts my mind in the perspective. But what about those parents that financially can't, you know, And that's that much because it's two of them, so it's double you know, diapers and food and this and the attention and the school supplies and everything else. But I'm like, for those parents that realistically can barely they're
afore their ends meet, how do they do it? You know, it's a lot. I don't know how they put it together in many occasions. You know, I take my babies with me wherever I go. I have an interview, I take them with me, I have this. I take them with me. Now that I'm doing the Dancing with the Stars competition, I have hours of rehearsals from like seven forty.
Five till like six thirty.
And by the time I come home, I'm super exhausted, And unlike everybody else that they get to go home and just.
Rest, I am in mommy duties.
I am changing diapers, you know, burping, giving milk this, that still being an active parent in my kids life. Because it's like, yeah, you're working so hard to make sure that your kids are good, but are you dedicating them the time that they need? Because kids don't know the difference, Like they don't really necessarily care about all
the crap that you give them. They're more concerned about the time that you spend with them, you know, paying with them, bonding with them, creating that that bond as a parent, all that other stuff. So as women, after you're working and you're doing all those things, you still
have to go be a mother. I still have to wake up at night when they're crying and do all those things because you know they're teething, and it's it's all these things that I feel that society overall puts so much pressure onto women, onto single women, single mothers, that I don't feel that men do.
Why are men not getting.
All this extra backlash for being absent fathers? Right?
We used to say men occasions back in the days and still to this day.
And I understand for the African American community for the most part, it was, you know, it was set up like this by the government, by society, you know, to take the black men out of the household so that in this in this way women would you know, request government assistance. And I've heard it all, I kind of have some background information on it.
I get it.
But what is the excuse today because today now we know what happened we know what the issue was, we know what can be done, we know how to fix it. So what really is the problem. Why are there so many men leaving women alone to take care of all the responsibility of taking care of a child while they decide to go, you know, live their life and date. Other people have more children with more women probably you know,
repeat the copy paste. I know that in many occasions, the lack of having a father figure in the household for men does affect the way that they treat their children. It affects the way that they raise their children, that they perceive what a household and a family and a wife should be because they've never seen it.
They've never experienced it.
But just because you haven't had it doesn't mean that you can't try to do right because you have seen it.
Not in your family, but you've seen it in others. Right.
I've never I've never been around billionaires. I've never been I didn't come from a rich household. But I know I want to be rich, you know, But I know I want to follow that whatever it is. I haven't had it, but I know that I want it, so I work towards it.
Right.
So to me, there's no excuse for a man to be a bad father and leave all the responsibility to a mother. Let's talk about the backlash at the workspace in many occasions. You know, we've even seen women that are working at fast food places that have to take their babies into work. You know, there's cooking fires and steamers and all types of things. But as a mother, when you have nowhere to leave your child financially, you may not be able to force daycare or any childcare at all.
Right.
You may not have any family members, you may be solo in another state, in another country, or you may not just overall trust anyone. Whatever the case may be, you find yourself being a good mother, and being a good mother means that you protect your child and you take them with you because you just can't leave them at home these days, the way that your neighbors are
set up and life is set up. Back in the days, they will leave the kids with like across the street Lavecina, you know, homemade kid down till they come back from work. Them days is gone. You can't trust anybody with your kids. You can't trust your neighbor. Oh home, my kid down for a couple of hours. That I get from back from work. You can't do that either, So what happens all the backlash of these mothers trying to take care of their children, you know, pay ends meet, and then at the same.
Time maintain and take care of their children. It's it's hard.
I see a lot of people that are judgmental to these working women that they're like, oh, well, why did you have four kids if you know you can't afford it? Who knows, you know, we could be very judgmental without really knowing somebody's story. What about if she was in a solid relationship with someone, someone that was holding her down, things didn't work out and eventually he stepped away, so
now she's stuck with the responsibility. I think that we should be more loving, more caring, more affection, and more nurturing to these women that are holding all this weight on their own.
Because being a parent is a twenty four hour job.
We can't just turn it off, right, And I don't feel like we give each other enough respect for what each parent is doing the same way.
I find crazy when a parent is the one being an.
Active parent in a child's life, and here comes the other parent and decides to be disrespectful or have any personal feelings.
So there's nothing you can say.
If you have left the building and this person has been taking care of your responsibilities as well, whether it's a man or whether it's a woman, there is nothing the opposite parent can say or do because no matter what, this person stayed while you decided to leave.
Girls, let's talk about it from firm.
I've seen so many occasions and I know this must piss you off. I'm gonna keep my own personal situation to myself, but if you know, you know, there's no worse feeling than to seeing the father of your children not being an active parent to your child, but being an active parent to his girlfriends or his.
Wife or his dating side chick or whoever it is.
To the point is, you know, just being an active parent to somebody else's kid. There's no worse feeling than to seeing a father or a parent that's not active with their own children but is active with somebody else's kids, whether it is that you are spending time with them, taking them to the park, financially, being responsible, taking them to school, whatever, while you, on the other hand, have their child that is that came from them. There should
be their responsibility and they take no action whatsoever. That must be the worst feeling. And by the way, if you've been there, done that, and you know what I'm talking about, hit me up with that review. Let me know what you've been through. Talk to me, Come on, speak up. I know I'm not the only one. I know you guys have been through it too. Also understanding that as a parent, you know you have to prioritize.
The well being of your children.
But at the same time, in many occasions you've worked your whole life for your career. You can lose your career because of mismanagement of you know, the time that you spend or the way that you take care of your child. Someone once told me, who's gonna want you now? Who's gonna want you now? With two kids. It's crazy to me because I know a lot of men who have fallen in love with these women that have four six kids, and they're like, I'm in it.
You know, I'm in here.
I like this woman, I love her, I'm down for it, and I'm down to come, you know, take whatever comes with her. But there's a lot of people with that mentality of like, once you have children, your price point goes down, your value in society goes down. You're not as worthy anymore, You're not as fresh, you're not as hip anymore. So now you have to even when it comes to dating, you have to look at a different perspective of people.
The same thing with your career.
You need to find a different perspective of people that can understand that if for any X Y reason you have to leave work right now immediately something happened with your child, you need to stop whatever you're doing by all means necessary, and you have to go handle that. I also want to talk about those single fathers out
there that are putting in that work. You know, that's a terrible feeling I'm sure for men as well, because we barely even you know, we talk about those men who have decided to take the full responsibility take custody of their children for whatever X to Y reason it may be, and they are responsible for those kids, and they make sure they go to the football games, and they make sure she goes to ballet, and he works and he does this. And you know that for men
is not their nature per se to be nurturers. That is women's natural intuition. And when it takes a man to do it. That is also something grand and I'm sure that men have to feel crazy as well when you are out here changing your whole life, you know, sleepless nights, putting in.
That extra work, that extra ship.
While the mother, now that no longer has that responsibility, is taking vacations, is traveling, is having a good time, It is living her best life because now she doesn't have to worry about keeping anybody alive, you know, And let's just not talk about what it is to take care of a kid as far as like, oh, your
food and this and that. But there's doctor's appointments, you know, when they feel sick, when they are scared, when they need comforting, those beginning stages where they need their parents to be a good role model, all these things. How do you benance it out? I only have two, and I wonder back in the days, you know, my grandmother on my father's side had fourteen children. Can someone explain to me what type of drugs she was on, what was she doing, what was she eating? Like, how does
she do it? How did our ancestors do They used to have like twenty kids and they were still alive and saying I have no idea because I have like the lack of sleep is really starting to get to me. And I don't understand how they did it, but I respect it. I respect this so so much. And then here's something I also see different. Back in those days, no matter if the women had, you know, twenty kids, the father was still in the household, whether he was consistently working, but came home.
That image of a father figure.
It is so important in a household, not only for the wife, but for the role model for.
The kids as well. Every little girl needs a father.
Every little girl needs to feel protected, to feel safe, every little girl wants to go to the payground, and you know, if you do something to her saying I'm going to tell my daddy, you know, wait till my dad comes. You know, that feeling of protection of you know someone has your back.
Yes, your mother does.
But because our nature is to be nurishing, every every gender has its role right. We naturally are born with different instincts and that's what keeps the world balanced.
That's just what that is. But every little boy also needs a father at home.
Every little boy needs to have that role model that they can look up to to learn how to stand behaviors, how I'm supposed to sit, How is my father treating my mother? How is he treating my grandmother and my sister. Whatever you do, they will mimic. They will copy paste that. You know, even when you think that they're not looking,
they are paying attention. They are a reflection of you, your behavior, the way that you're raising them, what you're eating, if you're working out, if you eat badly, if you have an attitude, if you're disrespectful, if you are a bully as an adult, your children will mimic what you are doing and they.
Will be a representation of you.
So therefore, I feel that in many occasions we don't really bother to pay attention to how important it is to have both, you know, both role models in the household. It is extremely important. And even if for any x y reason, you guys as a couple do not work out, because it happens in many occasions, we have to learn how to be adults. Civilized adults get to that space because you know, I know there's beef, there's anger.
Okay.
Eventually, eventually you have to become adult enough, mature enough, grown enough to say, okay, we're not getting along, We don't understand each other. The vibe is not right anymore. But guess what, we're stuck together forever. And now we're stuck together forever as a family. Like you may not like me, I may not like you, whatever, but we have to do this for the for the well being and the sake of these children. So that part is very important because that will also help you understand the
other parents' perspective. As far as goncho, you know, this guy has to go to work, Let me hold the weight this week. Vice versa wife, my ex wife for the mother and my kids has to work. Let me hold the weight this week. Because if you're both at the parents, you understand the responsibility, the weight, the stress,
the everything that it takes to raise these children. I also feel that for those that are the boss, if you are the boss, if you're the one that has the employees, if you are the whatever it may be at your workspace, and you know that there is a parent, and you know that there is a parent having a difficult moment where they're children, as far as they have to leave to go to the daycare center pick up the kids, or the kids may be sick or what are I really feel that it is important for us
as a community, as a village to be more understanding of each other's situation, whether you have kids or you may not have kids. Sometimes I feel like some bosses can be real tough on some you know, on some parents that are just out there working to be able to feed their family.
Put yourself in their shoes once in a while.
I understand that you have to keep your level of ethic and professionalism no matter what the workspace may be, but also try to be more understanding, because God knows what this person may be going through once they leave this work space and has to go back home to take care of their children.
In many occasions, I.
Know a lot of people that dress really nice to go to work, and when they go home, they might be living in a tiny.
Studio with like five six kids. You know. I've even seen people who go to work looking very nice and you will never know that they're sleeping in front of the wall right inside their car. You know, you never really know what another person is going through.
So in the workspace, try to be more understanding, Try to be more forgiving, try to be more flexible, because one day you might be doing something good for somebody else, and you pray and hope that one day somebody will take care of you and have your back no matter.
What the situation is.
I think that the backlash from your workspace sometimes is so unnecessary instead of us trying to support each other as a community. Especially you have a good employee, you know they're a good employee, it's just that you can tell that they're going through some situation at home.
Try to be a helping hand and this goes.
I feel like sometimes it's important to put the message out because you never know who you may be, you know, touching. Try to be a helping hand because it's already a tough world out here.
It's already so tough, you know, out here for women, for men as well.
It's tough for everyone, and it makes it even worse when you go to work somewhere you have to go every day get you're realistically just there to be able to provide for your family. Because every person that's working, and I want you to take consideration of that as well.
Every woman you see, every elderly person you see still at the workspace, you know, sometimes you go to the Walmart, to the Target, to the ross, whatever, and you see this elderly person, whether they're working security or whether they're working in the.
Back whatever it is.
Every single person I've seen, pregnant women about to give birth still working. Every single person you see at the workspace is working to be able to provide for their family, for themselves, for their family, for survival. It's so terrible to go to the workspace and have backlash and have bad energy and have people look down upon you or have people judge you for.
Whatever reasons it may be.
Let's be more nurturing, more understanding when it comes to those things. And like I said before, I know there's a really big double standard when it comes to men and when it comes to women at the workspace. Listen, if you've been through it, if you know where I'm coming from, if you feel my pain, if you feel what I'm saying, hit me with that review, tell me,
talk to me. What have you been through? Has anybody ever made you feel that you're you know you're worthless, or you know you're not worthy because you're not doing the best job that you could be at your workspace, because you have to take care of your kids, because you're trying to manage. What about your family? Has your family been judgmental towards you because you know you've had to be like yo, listen, can you take care of the babies or the baby you know, for a couple
of hours to get out of work. Have they been helpful? Have they judged you? Have they made you pay your own family? Is it okay if your own family that's supposed to have your back ask you, you know, oh well then pay me and I'll take care of your kid. How do you feel about that? At your job, are you allowed to bring your kids? Do they have a
space for children? I think that's an amazing thing. I don't think every job, every workspace has that capacity, but if it could, and it did, I think it would be so important and so great.
Imagine going to work and knowing that on.
The first floor or right there, you know, there's a nursery, there's a daycare, there's a space where your child is taking care of and protected, and your lunch break you can go and see them, take care of them, and still continue focusing on your career, your goals and expectations, because just because you're a parent, it doesn't mean that you have to let go all of your dreams of
becoming whatever it is. It doesn't mean you have to let go of everything you've worked for your whole life, your whole career to accomplish.
It doesn't mean.
It just means that you need to modify. Now it's time to modify the plan. Now we got a new addition to the original goal. How do we go about it? How do we move around it? That I really feel is important. Like I said before, if you a boss, as a real boss, Bosses are leaders. Bosses lead right, and part of that is being understanding and understanding your employees, the people that work for you, the people that help
move this ship. Because yes, you may be the boss and they just may be your employees, but without them, you ain't got no business.
Right.
So part of that is you may have an amazing ass secretary whatever it is, human resource nurse, whatever it may be. If this person is having a difficult moment because they may not know how to administrate everything, try to become a helping hand.
I think that's important too, because we.
Talk talk about what it is to be have backlash for being a single mother, trying to balance everything out, but at the same time, in the workspace that you're at. If the people that surround you aren't trying to be understanding, aren't trying to be helpful, aren't trying to you know, then that might be a cue for you to have to figure out another place of work. Because now, once you have kids, your priority becomes your kids. Like no matter what, there is no job that you know goes
before your kids. There is no job that can be a priority before your kids. You know, you have to modify your lifestyle after that.
So listen to this. Here's something that you can take home with you.
Right, we've tackled the hardship you know, phased by single women in the workspace, in the workforce, jumped into the complexity of working mothers, the backlash of society, family, you know, the dating scene and everything else, and question the double standards surrounding the work you know, the working dads, because they're also a working dads out there. That I want
to give you guys props as well. I know that usually when we talk about like Mother's Days and things like that, mothers have more more and more, I don't know, we get more celebrated than men.
But there's not a lot, but there are.
A lot of amazing, amazing fathers out there that deserve all the credit and all the praise as well, So shout outs to you. Change begins when awareness and open conversations start. It is important for us to talk about it so that we can become aware of the issue and figure out how can we resolve it and move forward from here.
If we don't know what the problem is, then how are you supposed to fix it?
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share with others that might, you know, find this topic interesting, that might be going through it, that might understand where I'm coming from. And once again, as usual, I want to thank you so much for tuning in. I want to connect with y'all. I want to be able to share my experiences. I want to be able to vent because this makes me feel so good to be able to share my experiences with you.
You guys are like my journal, my dire.
I'm open, I'm transparent, I'm organically myself.
With you, and I love that. And I want to be able to thank you once again.
This is our second amazing season and I just want to thank you once again for being part of Exactly Amada. Thank you so so much. Make sure to find me on YouTube. Catch my show by searching for micro doa podcast on YouTube, clicking on exactly Amata, and don't forget to follow me on Instagram at Amada a l n amadat al n for sure go check me out. Okay, check out all the past episodes super late.
You might actually learn something.
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Guys, this is your
Girl, Amadat Lagra and you just heard exactly Amada