ASMR - Chewing The Cud - S06E24

You're watching Chewing the Cud with Mike Benyon Groan and Lee Robertson.

O listen, why is the astagram muffin juicy juicy Mango? You're looking very nice? Oh hello, you're watching Chewing the Cud, your lighthearted weekly look at the world through a pair of rainbow sudden glasses. I'm Mike Bennon wrote all with me today is a person who could not be trusted with anything. You don't want to be dazzled. It's Lee Robertson. Hello, Okay, they.

Love I am fine, just fine, fine, not gray, not amazing, fine.

Okay, well this is fine. What have you got for us this weekly?

Well, I'm bringing you a story about a pop star who's getting her own documentary. I'm also going to be playing again.

And then Lee will be showing us something he came up with last minute in Crafty Queens. But on screen now you can see how contact details. It's at the cood TV. On social media, I as you want to catch up with previous episodes, you can always bringe us on YouTube look for Chewing Liquid.

And you can see the names of people who have reached out and touched our soul. Going across that bottom of the screen. But now it's time for Mike and the boats.

Hi.

I'm trying to disturb you. Buffing mercuticals, that's what they're calling it these days. How aware of your parts of your body, very.

Aware of all parts of all of them at every single given man to day, all night I can identify.

Okay, So you have a stitch on your body, so a little seam? Can you think about where I'm talking about? The little scene?

I don't want to say it. What do you not want to say because if I say it then you'll go, No, it's not it's you. It's somewhere else. The scrouton scene. Oh, okay, it's not, is it? It is?

So? So the line runy down in the middle of the scrotum, right, it's called called the scrotle wrath, okay, which I thought was quite nice. So this results from the fusions of your grin of google folds during male fetal developments. So when you a baby in womb.

Don't what, don't don't say that? That what you just said then in that in that accent. Ever again, when you're.

A little bear wo womb, are you aroused?

I hate it?

Yeah, I found it a hate every time you do your share from now on, that's going out, just saying, so the fusion forms the scrotum and the penis, leaving a visible line from the anus through the parodem on the scrotum, so it actually goes all the way down.

I'm aware I have.

So Okay, so yes, I don't know how to follow on from that revelation of you and what you've just done. Yeah, so apparently it's completely old to have everyone's got one. Women have got one too. It just stops sooner because of you, because they don't have testicles, because it opens up, doesn't it stays closed.

I don't know. I've never been there. Why are you doing? Why are you doing? The predator?

Because because the ladies' places they go around and gentlemen's.

Are a bull I'll take your word for that.

So yeah, should we move on? Is that was that? It? That was it?

Well?

There was?

What was the point of it?

Your revelation was a bit off putting, to be fairly.

All right, Okay, next week nipples? Well what have you done with nipples? Do you know what those two things are called? On chest? People are shocked. Millenniums are shocked. Millenniums millennium falcons are shot. Ooh snip snip snip. Why are you chopping the nipples out? Let's move on. Let's move on.

You don't use dating apps, do you? No?

I don't need to.

People just floapy. This is at him.

I'm in a committed long term relationship.

Well, some people are in.

I'm not poo pooing it sites for that as well.

Anyway, there's been some more research from the University of Southampton and the University of Harvard collaborating. Oh that's a spicy collapse. All dating preferences of two thousand individuals raised from eighteen to forty m okay, so people are significantly younger than the others. Users were more inclined to match

It looks like it looks like a chameleon that's about to lap its tongue out and grab hold of them.

What do you mean, working class man of the people, multi millionaire that he is? Yeah, yeah, so conservative users were more accepting of Reform UK supporters than labor voters, which was sort of hinting towards people being very political polarizations happening more in dating.

Okay, don't give a ship here, No, massively does that? Does that have an inpeenct on you when you're looking for.

Some peen A little bit? A little bit so if this?

But you know, see this is the conundrum, right, massive hung whatever it is that you're into, Yeah, but what's this?

What is this?

Where's the squeaking?

Let's just downstairs?

But they were an uber tory. Would you go just don't say anything put it in? Or would you go I don't. I don't want to. As much as I want that big dick energy.

I like to climb ut saying something that would hate Oh okay right and try right to human rights.

They're just oh okay, all over them? Right. Yeah, I'm glad we asked I did. People are stupid nowadays, so aren't they in general? Yes?

Anyway, and don't forget if you want to while shouting trans rights to human rights, why not do that with us? We are at the ko TV on social media. That brings is nicely to our story of the week. Now you breathe allegedly and your nose breathe about default, aren't you You don't.

Have no, I don't no. I don't breathe through my mouth.

Okay, but when you've got a cold, yes, you obviously have to yes, because you're blocked up. Not anymore, there is now a new way of breathing. Yes. Scientists in Japan have discovered a way of having rectal breathing.

Cut the lies, cut the camera and I'm done. What rectal breathing?

It smell great?

But so when you literally can say your breath was like ship? Is it a far?

Is it about? We'll never know. No, So researchers in Tokyo Medical and Dental University there's a choice of demonstrating that oxygen can be absorbed through the lining of the large intestine, and it's called internal enteral ventilation. You've got thoughts, I just I.

Don't have thoughts.

So it's going to be used as a backup weight of people breathing if their lungs are severely damaged.

So in the hospital you'll be there, goole.

I don't want a gassy ass.

You want something inserted in there.

I can get that grinder.

I feel like wanted posters up in NA and A departments. If this man comes in and saying he can't breathe only from his but only from his bomb hole, whose do not do not enable him?

Like the people going trying to score drugs, like, Oh, I've been a lot of pain. I'm druggling to breathe.

Are the only way I think I can do it is through my bom bomb.

I've given you silicon K. So yeah, would you like to see how it was developed?

If we must?

So they've developed this using pigs?

Why not?

Well, pigs are used a lot for medical experiments.

Because there's also a rat and little bubbles coming out of the bottoms a mouse. They've got a little mask on because obviously.

They need to stop them breathing. Okay, so they've been suffocated. The animals will shoving gas up.

There that the loach. Did they stick that up?

Yes, that's what they stuck up. They found out because of this this sea creature that.

Breathe out of its bomb Yes, how did they know that? Though this is all very suspicious, I think.

Survived. I don't know.

I think there's a scientist trying to explain why he's gone through like thousands and thousands of pounds worth of eels, eggs and ball gags. It's because we can bring up of more bottoms.

Why would you go for a mouse? It's a very anyway. So they've tried on lots of different animals before they tried it on humans and it's called an O two PFC.

Okay, yeah, I think that's lovely.

Yeah. Good. That's all for the bus this week.

I think there may be a little bit of trickery foot.

Trickery from me.

No, but stay right there.

As coming up after this short break, we're going to get up to date with celebrity news. In the showis welcome back and you're watching Chewing the Cud. This is the part of the show where we're looking for the sparkly side of the world of celebrity and media. In the show biz Widdley.

So fastbook show is news. There is a new queer themed TV show coming from BBC. They're quite good at the BBC producing queer thinged entertainment. There was last year there was the series about the two older Afro Caribbean men that was really good. I Kista Boil that's a Little an Archistic Girl has been a little bit controversial lately, but anyway, so we're going to have something called what it feels Like for a Girl, not the Madonna song girls Can We Jeane and Brush their Hair? Do you

I found my tribe quite early on?

Did you where you don't want to know?

No?

A gang of kindred spirits. So there is the mesmerizing Lady Die, there is Sticky Nicky, We've got dirty Damien, and there is a beautiful, acid tongued Sasha. So they beg Steele, borrow do all this drug taking. There's loads and loads of stuff. The book was released in twenty twenty one with there's a picture of the author on there and Rave reviews and it's all about about Paris's life growing up as a teenager in the East Midlands.

Da now I am, Yeah, i am. But if it's got Monoga that you're have a fan, yeah, Kylie just about the time you ignored her.

Yeah, But that was a lot part of a plan that went horribly wrong, and I did possibly have the opportunity to to kind of solve that a few days ago when I went to a concert, but I chickened out again in the end because I was like, oh, I just wasn't meant to be anyway. There's going to be a documentary about Kylie coming to Netflix. I know, Mike. It's very exciting. It's going to be called Kylie Infinite Disco and it's a definitive documentary series to chronicle the

It can't be Infinite Disco. Why because there'll be a time limit on how long this show is on for.

It's more than a documentary, Mike. It's a vibrant, glitter soaked tribute to a woman who redefined pop music time and time again.

Again.

No, she wasn't dying the first time. That is the kindly verse trying to kill you for this time.

About to say something else, but look I'm drinking at the time.

It is. So that's her on her recent tour which I went to. I didn't know if I mentioned that. Very very enjoyable. So it's going to be it's with Netflix with Freemantle in Australia. They kind of did, like neighbors and all that kind of stuff. It's going to be, it promises her ritually laid, an emotionally resonant experts, nation of the superstars, decades long career, backstage footage never seen before, archives, deeply personal interviews.

It's just making me hard.

Yeah. But also we've got a mark our calendars because in November, so the documentary is coming out in August, and then in November Mattel makers of Barbie not the country, No, they're releasing a CAD And it's very exciting news.

Because do you know what us still do.

We'll show mouth Benny and Rowe, I own it.

I help.

I will be having one of those because look, I have a vintage silver Nemesis from back all the way back in the early two thousands then never before out of the box, never been touched by human hand, and that we'll go next to it. I was very exciting. Anyway, you're not touching it, get your hands full the oily hands off it anyway.

Anyway, any big fan of Kylief? Yeah, you enjoyed the concert right much? How much did you enjoy the concert?

Very much?

Okay? Good? Good stuff.

You know.

At one point Petals felt I hate it. I enjoyed it that much. That was me waiting for it to start, and then that was me at the end. Wow. Wow, some things are never never sacrament in this place. Wow, you're gonna leave it up there duration for the rest?

Okay, I think it was for a little while, because it's a great photo.

I wasn't even pulling that on purpose. I was just taking a paragraph my friend, and when I saw it, I went, what the are you doing? I'm literally gurning. That's what you do. What do they call it when you're like going for like twenty minutes?

What's that called edgy?

No, there's another one gooning or going gooning?

You're not going?

Am I not.

Going? What do we do to goon?

Anyway, Let's move on to the next way to Showby's news, last bit to show his news. Yeah, I don't know when it's going to appear next though, because no one you plustered all over them from my car when I go and go down later. Sarah Ferguson Fergie not black eyed Peas furg No, No, that the ex member of the royal family Fergie toe sucking Fergie. She she believed, No, she doesn't believe. She is sure that queen that the late Queen Elizabeth is speaking to her through her corny's corny's.

Corns speak to me, your majesty.

When she's sucking on it.

One does not like that.

No, not through her corns, through her corkies. So the queen that's just died, Quebec Queen Elizabeth. Second. So yeah, so when the queen died, Sarah Ferguson, she adopted two of the queen's She adopted two of the queen's dogs.

Stole to the dogs.

They're called Muick and Sandy. Okay, And she says that she's sure that the late queen talks to her through the dogs.

So she queen is possessing the dogs.

She said, she's still d is communicating with her years after her death through the dog's bar. That's not Sarah, because that's queen when she was queen always had corkies from when she was a very young child. She said, I have her dogs. I have a corgize. Every morning they I've got a dog, What are gonna? I have them? And she says every morning they come in and go wolf wolf, and I'm sure it's her talking to me,

To get a good friend for ages and.

But the Royal Lodge in Windsor. I'm not convinced that the Queen is talking through the corkies.

Is fair? You currently strapped for cash because this happens.

Do you think I foresee a tour of her going around like a bit like everybody Cliff Richard.

She thought herself like Cliff Richards many, but.

Everybody else I can like like like a psychic psychic Sally type when when she's in the middle too, Corky's outside and she's going to anybody ever, anybody want to ask them again question and they go oh from the audience. When you die and the dog goes off, you know it's Margaret.

Does that babe, Charlie Margaret.

Off off Okay, well, and I don't believe it, but you know, if you believe it, that's fine, Sarah. If you believe it, that's fine.

That was the queen just spoke.

That was the c.

Or is she Yes, she's coming.

She's talking through a corgy. I've been wonder pressing. It was like a horse. But that's just me anyway. That's all the sweet show business.

Oh dear lord, thanks for that, Lee, really, thank you.

Totally welcome, but don't go away anywhere because coming after this, we have a game for you to play along within our game of the week.

Welcome back to Chewing the Cud with Mike benin Roe Andally Robertson. Now this is the part of the show where we play a little game and this is for the man who wants well he said he followed the pink road through to the tunnel. It's Lee, So off your pop.

Well, wearing words with you later because you chucked that.

Day a week.

Okay, So we're going to play gave of who's that then, which is why I'm going to give Lee a situation and Lee has to describe it as an impression of celebrity.

Yes, I work out with crity. Do you have to work out who the celebrity is?

Okay, So the first situation I'm going to give you is, this celebrity is buying a pint of milk.

Buying a pint of milk. Okay, he and its milk from my body because I have been merscles the tea.

Pardon, mister t No, sounds like mister tea.

I think more think more modern. Think the rock, don't then't cog block? No, I didn't say that, is it the rock?

Wow?

Duayne Johnson? It is because you said his name.

But but I didn't say his actual real name.

But that's his persla.

But it didn't it says do I Johnson? Okay, Okay, I'm not.

Going to a point for that. I can't use one of the personas. But oh I'm the iron fist lady thatcher.

Just just choose.

Okay, this person is going bowling. It's going what bowling?

Now?

Don't you have to be specific? Are we talking ten pin bowling? Or are we talking crown green tenpin? Ten pin? Okay?

Who come on, squeeg word, let's go bowling.

Under this god about to say to me civil under the sea. Hey, I hope, hey, hope that the balls don't float away.

That's like Janet Soft friends, was it Jane Soft freends. No, that's what you're getting.

Oh, thank you, SpongeBob a is Oh, I just point out that everything went off just as Paul started seeing who lives in a pineapple? In a pineapple under the sea? Okay, the next situation then going to a gynecologist.

Wow, this is really inappropriate. It anyway, one has been dry growing considerable amount of time.

One one does the aliens just evidence, just an actual drawing ass or is.

It because one is dead?

Wow? Okay. Now if that card says the queen, you've done the wrong person. Why because the queen is called Camilla and it's still a lie.

Oh no, I've done it right because if we do bo Okay, Queen Elizabeth didn't make it right.

What you said, but it did. Okay. So we've talked about a monarch with the general drivers. Let's see how the celebrity or person you have on that card deals are going to a taxidermist.

Taxidermist, keep taxidermist, a cheap taxi hermist, okay.

A pit of a pool who doesn't give me a stubbed animal for five pells. You that might be little mouse.

Oh, listed in such masculine vices, I'll take it back to the eighties. Choke on your own flesh, put some necklaces around it.

It.

That was indeed, mister t Yes, big fan of taxidona.

He's renowned for.

In fact, yes, okay.

The next situation, I went to an oncologist and that's not good.

No, we can't do that one.

No, well we can. We shouldn't getting married?

Oh okay, I do. That's it? Yeah, I might have if I did a bit of action with it.

I do. Is it like salad fingers? I like it when the red water comes out? It's not, it's not I haven't got a fish in the oven.

It's not salad. Yes, mister Pubert Cumberdale, it's.

Well what did you say with your mouthwards? Is it so? It's not solid things? The only other person that has that Voicus Andy Peters. I mean.

It was in fact et okay, very much.

Peter's Korea trying to buy a pie. Now he's selling pies on QB c D. He sells pies on shopping Pies and Peter sells pies on TV. Guys just like pies? What what? What kind of filling spunk like meat and veg and cheese and chicken? Really pies they're expensive as well. For pie it's spice and Booker pies. But yeah, he talks about delicious they taste and how luxurious they are. It's just a part anyway. The next one is whoever it is you're going to do. They're going to be selling something on QBC.

Okay, in particular a necklace. A necklace, baby, do you want a bar necklace?

Because something isn't rad here?

Look I sell again.

Hm. I think that's pretty self explanitory. Is it share?

No, it's not Share, Lads of Minelli, No, Christina Aguilera.

No, let's go even that's we're we're on the same sort of line as you know, in a fireplace, spinning around what m with knives in my hand? Could have soul knives? Actually, yeah, get a free knife with every necklace.

Oh, Brittany, Brittany spears, Yes, I go from that. Yeah, that situation is getting very excited about things in the middle aisle at a discount supermarket.

Okay, oh, mister president, I need a few things ooh.

Boo boo beat.

Milania Trump.

Oh, I need some things from the middle, are you?

I don't really know what else she does?

Boo boo be doo oh, it's what's her face with the boobs? Oh? What's her name? Hillary Clinton? No, no, no, I don't know that. No, I don't know that.

It's Marilyn Monroe.

Oh amade A Girl's best Friend was another. The next situation is you are starring in the nineteen seventies porn.

Okay, it's gonna be my up the arse.

It's going to be May's you love.

Yeah, that's it.

That's it. That's the only that's it.

That's that's the impression I gave you. It's gonna the my.

But they are, okay, Kim from kath and Kim, what comey? Look at I thought what you did?

It's just In Bieber. Oh I did the wrong person.

He's the person of the count, Justin Bieber.

I thought it was just In Timberlake.

And the person of the car says Justin Bieber.

It says Justin Bieber. I just suddenly No, I don't think you'd better do him at all. That's a little bit. And I don't know who.

Bieber.

I just thought just staying and automatively thought Timberlake, but then a lot and it was Bieber.

But that is enough for now. Coming after this short break, we're going to learn something a bit special in Crafty Queens.

Welcome back.

I'm just still watching Leon make and chewing the cud. Now I've dropped a volume, so let's even get through this together. It's Crafty Queens.

So this week, as you've said, you've just dropped a valium, we're going to do We're going to do some regarm but we're going to do it in the form of a SMR. Are you familiar with with that Mike ASMR?

SMR as MR asynchronous mastabratory regulation.

No, it is audio sensory meridian response. So that is when oranges. It's when you hear something that gives you the the tingles, but not in a sexual way, in like a pleasant, relaxing way. Basically, it means I'm just gonna whisper while we do it, and people find people pay people. Oh, they love these a SMR videos.

They do.

Massive views. I don't like the ones where people make noises when they eat. I don't like those. Yeah, which is also a second pardon. Oh, yes, I don't like clacky fingernails. I don't like it when they crunch. Anyway, there's a whole list of things, but it's not about me. We're going to make right.

We're gonna make Do I have to whisper?

Yeah, because it's a smry. It won't work if I won't.

No, we're going to make a giant bots.

No, that's not as mr.

So.

I mean, it's debatable how long you'll be able to keep it up.

In front of you, Mike, you've got a little book.

Also, ASMR is slightly patronizing as well, the way he talks.

So you been naturally gifted this.

So, Mike, in front of you, you've got a book of.

Paper.

Okay, is it a book? You can choose whichever page you like. Okay, on that book, very beautiful pages. Okay, I picked a page. I can't really hear you when you're whispering.

I've picked a page.

Okay, Okay, you don't have to do the SMR.

Oh, I don't have to just me Okay, turn the page out. And then that was a satisfying.

Because I have prepared for this, whatsoever I'm having to refer to a to a screen doc mentory.

Watching a YouTube clip as you do it right.

Okay, So what we do first is take a piece of paper and put it like this, like a triangle. Okay, burn everybody. And then what you're going to do is very sensitively and emotionally. You're going to fold it so that it goes that way. Okay, so it's like a pyramid shape. Everybody hates you whether where the ancient Egyptians came from, quarry up okay, and then or okay, then you're going to open it up, yeah, okay, and then you're gonna fold it the other way, okay, directly oposit Okay,

That it's very slow on this, it's very slow in here and all.

So then we're then we're gonna we're gonna open it up again, Mike, okay, and I'm going to turn it upside down, okay. Then we're going to fold it.

In half this way.

Like that.

Okay. Yeah, you're adopted. Just listen to the sound of my voice. And then you open it again, and then you folded the other way a grass like that.

Oh oh.

M hmm, it went wrong cock.

Oh now, and.

Then you're folding across the middle.

Which one was supposed to be folding it now because you're just saying fold it this way, hold it that way.

Right, Okay, So now you've gon to turn it over.

So that.

You've already done it. That's very good. To take hold of it, and you'll find a natural flap. That's a natural flap. And what you're gonna do is you're just gonna pop the little so it's a back to being a triangle. Okay, So you've got a little triangle again. Then you're gonna turn it upside down like that and you're gonna fold, and then you're gonna fold.

Them in like that.

Then you've got like a little box means what's inside the box inside the box special things. And then you're gonna open it up again, and then you're gonna oh, I don't really know what I've done. I'd say the probably m m, that's that looks like a butterfly, fzy butterflies. Well, there are a number of other steps, but I've got slightly confused as to what I'm doing. Just bear with me a moment. I'll just tap my fingers on the table while I'm doing it.

I do some voices while you do the research you're supposed to be doing.

Oh yeah, no, oh yeah, I can't. I can't follow it anymore. Mike and the chicken strips. Are you relaxedly very? Yeah, you look quite stressed. It's one of those it's a star in the sky, Twinkle twinkle, little star, or it could be he could be a little tree in the garden. The garden. A garden is a very relaxing place to do a s. Mr Cocker, I think that was very successful, don't you agree?

So successful is not the word i'd use.

Remember, everybody, you can't get any pain or any gene being as Mr Grafty queen.

So yes, why it's just I mean, people poo poo it, But it is actually a magically proven thing that we do have this part of our brains that respond that re release releases and dolphins when we hear certain voices, I mean.

You're not very if you were at school when I hear the voices.

Like if you were ever on a training course or in school and there was a teacher that had like a real I mean, they didn't whisper, but they might have had just a very soothing.

Breathy voice.

Yeah, Marilyn, No, not like that. What is it that you do?

What do you do?

What's your what's your song that you do in the Marilyn booooo, come on into the conger that I mean, if that's doesn't it I found out obviously we weren't successful with the butt, but it really doesn't matter what the end result is, does it. It's it's it's a process. But I've made a little com gutter.

Buck it. It's a moon cup moon coup.

You can go and then and give it to your friend, give it to you, And I thought of you while producing this.

I've made you a lucky present.

I've made you a little gift from me to you. I thought about yours. Maybe now drink it up before it gets cold, breaking jeels.

Wow, that's all my the end of the show for this week. I'm sure you're glad to realize. But on the screen now you can see our contact details. It's at the cud TV on your social media and if you want to catch up with previous episodes. You can always binge watch us on YouTube, just look for chewing the cord.

Thank you for watching, Thank you for watching, thank you for watching, and we will see you all through the window as we stare through the.

Bushes. Bye.

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